


Lovers off screen

by stars_fall_on



Series: Behind the scenes [3]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Behind the Scenes, Blow Jobs, Bottom Cam, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Jealousy, Kissing, M/M, Mutual Pinning, Oral Sex, Rimming, Romance, Slow Burn, Smut, Top Noel, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, pinning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2018-11-18 08:43:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 91,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11287737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stars_fall_on/pseuds/stars_fall_on
Summary: The sequel of "Lovers on screen", in which Cameron and Noel fall in love on the Shameless set season 7.In "Lovers off screen" they now have to deal with coming out and other problems.Will they manage to keep their love hidden? How are their parents and friends going to react? What if, suddenly everything seems to go wrong? Is their love strong enough to remain?As always, a lot of angst, smut and fluff.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> This is another part of the "Behind the scenes“ series. You should definitely read "Lovers on screen“ first, before going through this, because this is the sequel. 
> 
> I am so thankful for all your comments and ideas on the last chapter of "Lovers on screen“. I promise to include all your wishes, even if it doesn‘t look like it in the first chapter.
> 
> Anyways.. I am doing my best to make this story as realistic as possible, but I can tell you, that you can’t find ANYTHING about Noel’s family and background on the internet. So his parents and his sister (I don’t know if he has siblings?) are fictitious. I also don’t know the names of male friends from Cameron, only two girls he is friends with. One will appear later. The male one is also fiction. If you have better information, please let me know and I’ll edit it!
> 
> Okay, so let’s do this again! I’m so excited to share this story with you!! I really hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Please leave kudos and/or comments and tell me what you think about it. 
> 
> Thank you! <3
> 
>  
> 
> A special thanks to LuckyShaz, for being my beta for this story!

(NOEL'S POV)  
  
Breathe in.  
  
_“Oh Mr. and Mrs. Fisher, it's so nice to meet you!“_ _  
_  
_“Aah, you must be Cameron, right? I'm so happy to meet you. Noel owes you so much. He is much more known now, since his role as Mickey Milkovich. And he wouldn't be so popular, if you wouldn't play Ian so perfectly! You two have such good chemistry together!“ he hears his mother's voice in the back of his head._ _  
  
“Oh, thanks, but I can only return this compliment. I think we've helped each other. Both on and off screen!“  
_  
Breathe out.  
  
_They are laughing hard. All of them._ _  
  
“Wow, I would have liked to see this.“ he notices the low voice of his dad.  
  
“But then it would have been much more difficult to regain control again. I know you dad, you can't stay serious if someone is laughing. You always join the laughter, and your dopey grunting would have made me laugh that much harder. Raymond, Cam and I already had it hard enough trying to get back in character and into the scene again, trying to stop laughing.“ His own voice.  
  
“Damn, I just couldn't lit the cigarette. It was too windy.“ He hears Cameron's laughter far away. _

 _Hears himself saying: “Yeah we had to do the scene like a thousand times until your pale ass was able to light the cigarette in time! Fuck, we couldn't stop laughing. I think John was a little pissed, his expressions were funny as fuck.“_ _  
_  
Breathe in.  
  
_His mother's voice. “Where's Layla? Why couldn't she come to visit too? Haven't seen her for a while now, miss her already!“  
__  
He feels it. Again. Panic. Panic raising, tightening his chest._  
  
Breathe, he needs to breathe.  
  
_Emerald green eyes, staring nervously at him. He can't look back, although he needs to._ _  
  
_ Breathe out.  
  
_Words. Some words echo in his mind._ _  
_  
_"We broke up!“_

_Faces, shocked and pale._

_Tears, not his own._  
  
_Mouths, gaped open._  
  
_Shock.  
  
_ Breathe in.  
  
_One word._  
  
_“Why?“_  
  
_No response. Just a quick shared look with his lover, partner._  
  
_They understood. They knew._  
  
_“Oh... Okay. Wow!“ Reactions, studied and played like Noel's roles on screen._  
  
_He knows it. He knows them.  
_  
Breathe out.  
_  
Another question._  
  
_“How?“_  
  
_“It just happened!“_  
  
_“Okay.“ - again._  
  
_Disappointment all over their faces.  
_  
Breathe in.  
  
_Some random conversation, about Cam and his life. They try to get to know him, the new partner of their son. Cameron seems to relax, relieved that they seem to accept it._  
  
_He doesn't know them. Noel does. Fuck._  
  
Breathe out.  
  
_His mother heads into the kitchen, leaving the three men in the living room._  
  
_Noel follows, says he's going to help her clean up. His father knows. Cam doesn't._  
  
Breathe in.  
  
_“He's so much younger than you, Noel!“_  
  
_Tears, so much tears._  
  
_“Is this because you got cold feet before your wedding? Because a lot of people do. It's okay to be scared, but don't throw your life away!“_  
  
_Her voice, so broken._  
  
_“I'm not. We love each other!“  
_  
Breathe out.  
  
_“Love? Noel, what Layla and you have had for more than ten years is love. This? This is fun. You may be having a good time with him, but you can't call it love. Not after such a short amount of time. Love needs time to grow. Like Layla and you. Don't blame her, because the butterflies went away. You’ve been together for a long time. They also will with him. But love remains, Noel. Like your love and Layla's.“_  
  
Breathe in. Fast. Deep.  
  
_More tears. His this time._  
  
_He hears Cameron laughing, sees his mother crying, knows his father is puting on a show to be kind._  
  
_He wants to run._  
  
Breathe out.  
  
_“What does he have to lose, Noel? He is so young! He didn't have a relationship, did he? But you did! And you had plans for marriage and children. And now you throw it all away, from one day to another? What are his plans? Probably going out, drinking, having a good time, making some new experiences.“  
_  
Breathe in. It doesn't work. Air, he needs air. Gasping.  
  
_“Maybe this is what it is. Just some new experience to him. Maybe he‘ll find out that he likes girls again. And then? You gave up everything, for what? To please him for a little while?“_  
  
_Anger. Panic. His fear. His biggest fear, vocalized by one of his closest friends, his mother.  
  
_ Breathe out.  
  
_His voice, somewhere in the dark. “That won't happen. We love each other!“_  
  
_There is no certainty, no determination in his voice. Just fear._  
  
_“Don't be silly Noel, please! You know I love you, WE love you. And Cameron is nice, he really is. But please, think about what you are going to give up. A good, stable and easy life. It won't be easy anymore when you‘re gay!“  
  
_ Breathe in. Gasping. There's no air getting in his lungs. Panic.  
  
_“I know this is hard, and I'm so sorry to hurt you, but please, promise me, that you'll think about it again. Talk to Layla, maybe you can work it out. If you don't, and you really wanna do this and you truly love him, then you'll have my support. But please. Think about all you are going to lose. Layla, marriage, children.“_  
  
_Anger. Frustration. Sadness. Shame. Uncertainty._  
  
_Out. He needs to get out.  
  
_ Come on. Breathe in. A lump in his throat. There's no way to breathe in.  
  
_Cold water splashed in his face. A fake smile._  
  
_“Let's go! We have to catch our flights back home.“_  
  
_His voice. Cameron’s happy voice. “It was so nice to meet you. Thank you for the great brunch.“_  
  
_Smiles. Pleasantries. Fake.  
_  
Breathe. Come on. Breathe.  
  
“Noel!“ His voice.  
  
“Noel! Wake up!“  
  
A hand on his hand.  
  
“Breathe baby.“  
  
A hand on his cheek. Clapping.  
  
Green. The wonderful color of his eyes.  
  
Finally, air!  
  
“ _Fuck_ _!“_ “ he screams out.  
  
“Are you okay? You had a nightmare!“ Cam sounds worried, his voice so soft.  
  
If he knew, if he only knew..  
  
Noel rubs his face with his palms, his chest heaving, gasping for air. He looks outside the window, so far away from the ground. They are on the flight back from their weekend trip to Vancouver.   
Yesterday they met Noel's sister, Hannah, and although she loves Layla, and has a deep friendship with her, she tolerated them completely. She showed them, that she's happy, if this is what Noel wants. And he does.  
  
At least he thought so yesterday.  
  
But then today, the meeting with his parents was a disaster. Cam doesn't know. He can't tell him about his conversation with his mother. It would break him, like it‘s breaking Noel himself. But he also can't do this to him. It's not about Cameron. It's about him and his life plan. It's about his mother and her visions for the life of her son. It's not about Cameron.  
  
So he smiles, and that's what hurts the most.  
  
“Yeah, I'm fine. You know I'm scared of airplanes. I'll be happy when we're back on earth!“ he responds, sweat dripping off his forehead.  
  
Cameron leans in closer. “Fuck, I wanna hold your hand so bad right now.“ he whispers quietly into his ears.  
  
And Noel needs it so badly. God, he craves for his touches. He just smiles at him again, showing that he feels the same.  
  
“I know it wasn't the best reaction to get, but it could have been worse. They only need time to get used to the idea. Like my mum did. Then everything will be fine, you'll see. I promise you!“ the redhead reassures him and it hurts. It hurts so fucking much, that he has no idea. But what hurts the most, is that Cameron adds: “I like them!“  
  
Noel tries his best to breathe steadily and smile. The slight nod he gives Cam, costs him all of the energy left in his body.  
  
“I think I know what you need.“ Cameron starts, smiling at him and raising an eyebrow. “Let's go out tonight and try to have a good time. We have to distract you from your own thoughts. My friend Tom sent me a text, that he's in LA tonight and asked me to meet him in Roxies‘ today.“ Cameron continues. “I haven't seen him for a while and would love to introduce you to him, he is a really funny and smart guy. You'd like him!“  
_  
_“_ What are his plans? Going out, drinking, having a good time, making some new experiences?“ _his mother's words echo in his head.  
  
Fuck.  
  
Breathe, Noel.  
  
“No thanks, I'm really tired after this weekend, I think I'm staying home tonight.“ he mumbles, running short on air again.  
  
“Oh, okay. Yeah, I mean... we can just get some pizzas, watch some movies, and relax. It's okay with me, I could just meet him tomorrow for brunch or something.“ Cam replies, a little disappointed by Noel's reaction.  
  
“No, come on! You haven't seen him for a while, you should go and have some fun. Tell him I said hi and that I'm looking forward to meeting him next time.“ Noel says, hoping to get some time alone tonight, to sort out his thoughts and feelings.  
  
Numb. He only feels numb.  
  
“You sure?“ his boyfriend asks. “I'll stay with you, if you need me.“ There is so much tenderness in Cameron's voice. His heart drops. Cam is making it harder and harder for him to smile.  
  
“Fuck yeah. I'm a grown man, Monaghan!“ he chuckles, but cries inside.  
  
_“He is so young. So much younger than you, Noel!“_ he hears his mother saying.  
  
He bites on his tongue, to hold the tears from falling.  
  
A smile spreads over Cameron's face. “Yeah? You can prove to me how much of a grown man you are, when I come home later.“ Cameron whispers and Noel knows that normally his dick would twitch in arousal, but this time it doesn't.  
  
Numb. He doesn't know what to feel.

 

 

 

 

The ringing of his phone distracts him from his thoughts, which are running in circles. His mother brought up his biggest fears. Is she right? Will Cameron leave him? Are their lifes too different? Their age difference too big? Are their visions for the future too varied? Was leaving Layla a big mistake?  
  
It rings again.  
  
Fuck. It's 4:04 am in the fucking morning.  
  
Noel sits up in their bed, taking his phone from the nightstand drawer and looks at Cameron's face, smiling back at him. His beautiful pale face, with all the washed out freckles and the fucking cute smile on his lips, driving him insane. But not today, not tonight. Not after this horrible day, which seems to never end.  
  
Numb.  
  
He lets his thumb slide across the picture on the screen, as if he is trying to  _feel_  Cameron, to feel  _something_ , while the phone is still ringing in his hand. Why is Cameron calling him so lately? He knows that he’s at home, and he should think, that he’s asleep at this time. It crosses his mind, that maybe something happened to Cam, and now someone is calling to make his night even worse. He picks up immediately.

"Hey?" he asks hesitantly, one ear pressed to the phone. He covers the other one with his free hand, trying to understand something out of the loud music in the background.  
  
“Noel?“ It's not Cameron. Shit.  
  
“Yeah?“ Fear beginning to raise in his gut.  
  
“Oh hey, it's Tom. Cameron is completely wasted and I don't wanna get him into a uber alone. He told me to call you, so maybe you can come and pick him up?“  
  
Noel rubs his eyes with the palm of his hands. Fuck, who is he, his dad? He is at home, while his teenage son gets drunk in the club. _Thanks mum for all of the shit in my mind now!  
_  
“Noel?“ the sound of Tom's voice brings him back to reality.  
  
“Oh yeah, sure. Be there in 15 minutes.“ he responds and ends the call, tossing his phone on the bed infront of him. He stares at it for a moment, trying to make the disturbing thoughts go away, before he gives in and jumps out of the bed. He gets ready to pick up his trashed young boyfriend from a club. 

 

 

 

 

There's no bouncer at 4:30 am infront of the club, so he steps inside, the loud music reminding him that he just feels nothing. Not today, not tonight.  
  
The club is well attended but not crowded, not anymore. It's easy for him to find them, standing at the bar at the back of the room. Well, one of them is standing, while the other one leans with the head dropped on his friend's shoulder at him, arms holding him upwards by his waist.  
  
“Hey!“ he says, obviously only loud enough for Cameron's friend to hear, because the redhead doesn't move.  
  
“Hey Noel, I'm Tom nice to meet you!“ the good looking, young boy smiles, reaching out his hand, for Noel to take.  
  
He's looking drunk too, but not as trashed as Cameron.  
  
“Well, I don't really know, when and how that happened,“ he starts, nodding to his right shoulder, where Cameron's head rests “but it happened fast.“ Noel nods, wanting to say something, but he hears Tom speaking up again “He told me a lot. Take care of him, okay?“  
  
The way this boy looks at him now, insistent and earnest, makes his stomach clench. He  _feels_  something, but it doesn't last long.  
  
He nods, his hand fondling the back of Cameron's neck, causing Cameron to look up at him.  
  
“Hey!“ Noel says, smiling at his terrible looking boyfriend. “Let's get your wasted ass home!“ he says, shifting the weight of Cameron from Tom to his own shoulders now.  
  
Cameron's smile grows as wide as possible, when he sees Noel and he leans in to kiss him, but Noel sidesteps him. They are in a crowded place, he can't out them like that. Not today, not tonight.  
  
When he sees the disappointed look on the redhead‘s face, he expects his heart to drop. Nothing.  
  
Numb. Again.  
  
“Thanks!“ Noel says, wanting to turn Cam and himself around to leave the club, when Cameron frees himself from his grip, looping his arms around Tom's neck again.  
  
“Thanks man! I love you!“ Cameron mumbles and kisses him on the cheek.  
  
Okay, now Noel  _feels_  something. Definitely!  
  
To how many people is Cameron saying “I love you“? Is this just a flowery phrase to him? Do the words not mean the same to him like they mean to Noel?  
  
_“This? This is fun. You may be having a good time with him, but you can't call it love. Not after such a short amount of time.“_  
  
His mother. Again.  
  
He bites hard on his lip.  
  
Numb.  
  
He feels Cameron's hand sliding around his waist, as they turn to leave the club.

 

 

 

 

(CAMERON'S POV - earlier that night)  
  
“Fuck, so my wingman is gay now? How's that good for me?“ Tom chuckles, reacting in the best possible way after Cameron's outburst.  
  
“You'll never have to worry about me stealing your chics again!“ Cam laughs and punches him playfully in the shoulder.  
  
“Oh yeah, cause you're in a relationship now too, right?“ his friend asks him again, to be sure he got the right information, although they‘re starting to feel dizzy from the vodka they are drinking.  
  
“Yeah, and Noel is great. I really, really love him. I hope you get to meet him soon!“ Cameron says, playing with the half empty glass in his hands.  
  
They are in a back booth of the club, withdrawn to update each other about their missed time. Cameron thought a lot about the way to tell Tom about Noel, before they met. But he decided to do it spontanously, because there are no  _right_  words and no  _right_  time. And when his best friend (or now,  _second_  best friend, thinking of Noel) asked about Ruby, he took this as the right chance to tell him.  
  
It went surprisingly well, thanks to vodka and his donation to make people lightheaded and fearless. So he told him the whole story. And Tom listened carefully.  
  
“Why didn't he join us tonight? It would've been great to meet him. I mean, he is a fucking adorable actor! I love how he plays Mickey!“ Tom says and Cameron nods slightly before he lets his eyes rest on the glass, remembering the way Noel's parents had reacted to their news.  
  
He knows, that he doesn't know everything and that Noel had a secret talk with his mother in the kitchen. He’s aware, that he doesn't know what she said to him and how they really feel about him.  
  
But he definitely noticed Noel's red rimmed eyes the moment he entered the living room again, and the fake smile he’d been giving him since them. And it fucking breaks his heart, that Noel is trying to deal with this alone.  
  
Cameron doesn't want to bring it up, because Noel already seems depressed and obviously doesn't want him to know more. So Cam will do his best not to affront him, but wait.  
  
“He doesn't feel well tonight. We had a exhausting weekend in Vancouver.“ Cam answers, not able to tell his friend more.  
  
“Oh exhausting, yeah? I understand!“, Tom chuckles, looking in the crowd to check out the next girl he is going to introduce himself to.  
  
“Not like that, asshole! We were with his family, but I don't know, if they like me. They  _love_ Layla, his ex girlfriend and I'm really scared, that they will never accept me.  _Us_.“ Cameron is surprised that the words are coming out of his mouth.  
  
“Oh come on man. Not only are you gay now, but also a fucking drama queen?“ both chuckle, before Tom adds “Everyone loves you. You know that. They will get used to it. And if Noel is that crazy in love with you like you are with him, then it'll be no problem to show them just how much you two need each other!“  
  
Cameron nods and smiles half heartedly. He really wants to believe that, but somehow he just can't. Not when his mind wanders back to his boyfriend - if he can still call him that. He knows that his parents tried to stay friendly infront of him, but he also knows that what his mum had said to Noel, must have cut in deep. And that the look on Noel's face since then is fucking scary...  
  
“Shots!“ he shouts and jumps out of the couch. “You want some?“ Cameron asks his friend.  
  
“Sure!“ Tom replies and Cam makes his way to the bar, where he drowns the first ones alone.

 

 

 

 

(NOEL'S POV)  
  
They spend the car ride home in complete silence, Cameron's snoring excluded.  
  
The silence in the car, matches the silence in Noel's head, which is funny, because on the one hand there are thousands of things running through his mind, while on the other hand there is  _nothing._  Just numbness.  
  
Noel wakes him, when they arrive at their apartment, and helps him get upstairs and out of his clothes. He guides him to their bedroom and lays him down into their bed, before he strips down himself and lays beside him, turning around to face the door, not his lover, who he suspects is sleeping anyways.  
  
He tries to close his eyes, hoping for some relief of sleep at 5:15 am in the fucking morning, when he feels an arm drape over his chest from behind and kisses pressed along his neck to his ear.  
  
“I need you!“ he hears Cameron whispering in his ears, before he is turned on his back and his boyfriend is hovering above him, closing the distance to kiss him slowly and waiting for Noel to open his mouth so he can slip his tongue inside.  
  
But when Noel opens his mouth, he only does so to speak. “Cam, you're fucking trashed. It's past 5 am in the fucking morning, let's get some sleep, before you spend your day above the toilet!“  
  
Cameron catches his mouth again and Noel thinks he might get drunk off the taste of his boyfriend's lips. “No.“ Cameron breathes between the soft kisses he places on Noel's closed lips. “I fucking  _need_  you!“ he whispers again.  
  
Fuck.  
  
After this shitty day and night Noel really wants to rest. He knows he won't get a lot of sleep, but maybe a little rest will get his mind at ease. But the sound of Cameron's voice  _does_  something to him. He  _feels_  something and although he may feel too far away from Cameron right now, he knows that when they sleep with each other he feels complete and connected to him. And maybe this, is what he really needs now, to break out of this numb state.  
  
“Please!“ Cameron pleads, kissing his way down to Noel's soft dick, his voice so fucking fragile, it breaks a wall Noel put up that day. One wall out of a lot he established that day, to prevent his mother's words from taking all over him. But all this fucking wall does, is block his feelings for Cameron. Her words seem to slip through, taking control of his body and soul.  
  
“Noel, I need to feel you so bad right now.“ Cameron insists, licking along the limp dick, and making it come to life, while the second wall breaks inside of Noel.  
  
He hears Cameron grabbing something from the nightstand drawer, but closes his eyes to let the thoughts wash over him, while Cameron takes his semi erect cock into his mouth.  
  
Noel feels fucking stupid. Does he really make a mistake in letting Cameron get closer every second they are together? Is Cam too young, for him and the way he wants to spend his life? He’s never been more afraid, that the visions of their future are too different. He feels so far away from the life they used to live until yesterday, all of a sudden it feels strange and he is fucking scared of it.  
  
“Please  _Noel_ , let me feel you!“ The sound of Cameron's voice so desperate, while he pushes two lubed fingers inside of him, kissing his inner thighs.  
  
Shit, he notices his dick getting completely hard, while Cameron works him open, the thoughts still haunting his mind.  
  
His mother's words are burnt in his memory and have taken control over him. They‘ve made him numb. But he wants to  _feel_  something, anything so badly. He  _needs_  to feel, if it still feels right, if his love is still real. And he knows, when Cam is inside of him, he  _feels_  something. Their words may fail, but their bodies never do.  
  
“God Noel, please let me get inside you!“ Cam whines, kissing his way back up, while three fingers are sliding in and out of Noel's hole.  
  
Cameron's words break another wall inside of him, letting some feelings slip outside. Because Cam sounds so broken, so close to crying.  Like if Noel doesn't let him inside, he'd die right now.   
  
And Noel knows, he just needs Cameron in the same way at this moment. He will bring him back to life, will let him  _feel_  again.  
  
As Cameron takes his fingers out to crawl back up onto Noel, the older man senses Cameron's pleading eyes on his face and finally locks their gaze. He can literally see, that it takes Cameron's breath away and for a short moment nothing happens. Until Noel grabs his neck and pulls him down for a soft and passionate kiss. A kiss, so tender and sweet, as if they are made of porcellain and ready to break if they push too far. A kiss, that breaks ten walls inside of him at once.  
  
Their kiss lasts for minutes, until Cam stops it to settle on his knees. He slowly and carefully takes Noel's legs and wraps them around his waist, before putting a pillow under his hips and holding his lover's ass with his hands. Giving him the needed support.  
  
And then, without a warning he feels it. He  _feels_  Cameron pushing slowly inside, never stopping until he bottoms out and Noel swears the world stops spinning.  
  
“Fuuuuck!“ is all he can hear although it's barely audible, slipping from Cameron's mouth.  
  
Cam doesn't move, and Noel doesn't want him to. Right now, he is happy to  _feel_  something,  _feel him_  deep inside and it is fucking fantastic.  
  
Cameron's eyes are glassy, his look thankful and satisfied. Noel can  _feel_  the love within their shared look.  
  
“I love you.“ Cameron whispers and starts moving, breaking even more walls inside of Noel.  
  
He can't say it back, not now, not after today and tonight, but he starts  _feeling_  it, showing his boyfriend the love within their act.  
  
It's so bitter and so sweet the way Cameron rolls his hips slowly. Noel  _feels_  like a treasure Cameron never wants to break. Nobody in his entire life ever took care of him like Cam does. Nobody. And he  _feels_  tears filling up his eyes.  
  
“Fuck Noel, your hole. Your warm and perfect hole. So good to me, so good!“ Cameron mumbles between moans and gasps, letting his head fall back for a short moment, before he locks eyes with Noel again and continues to roll his hips deep and soft. He doesn't thrust, and Noel guesses, that he doesn't want to pull out, not even an inch. Like he said he needed to be  _inside_  of him so badly before. And Noel is happy. Happy to  _feel_   full all this time, because this is what he needs right now.  
  
To feel and feel and then feel some more. More of Cameron, more of him, more of  _them_  and their connection.  
  
Cameron's hand drifts from Noel's cheek over his chest, down his abs, which contract as Noel sucks in a breath. It glides further down, over his right hip, to cup his glorious ass. Noel's leg seems to subconsciously react as he bends it at the knee to give Cam an easier feel.   
  
Cameron stays deep inside, angling up to hit his prostate with every rolling of his hips and both release a gasping sigh. They look into each other's eyes and kiss slowly, sweetly, passionately.  
  
“God I needed this. I needed you so badly Noel,  _Fuck._ “ he breathes while Noel is gasping for air at this new sensation. He  _feels_  more walls breaking, knowing there can’t be many left.  
  
Noel is too far gone to notice much of anything aside from his lover's movements against him and the light kisses and suckles he presses against his throat.   
  
After a few minutes of moving softly, but passionately, Cameron collapses on top of Noel and starts kissing him everywhere; neck, under the ear, cheek, chin, chest. Noel just runs his fingers into his boyfriend's hair and holds him there, cupping his head. He pulls Cameron back so they can look at each other as they move, so they can see each other's expressions as they love each other.  
  
It  _feels_  so good, so, so good and he reaches upwards to grab his boyfriend's neck and pull him down for another kiss. This time more heated, because this is what he needs right now.  _More_.  
  
And Cameron stops rolling his hips and focuses on their sloppy kiss, where tongues meet more than lips.  
  
Noel can  _feel_  that Cameron is desperate too, that he‘s kissing him as if their lives depend on it. But then he stops abruptly, pulls back and watches Noel for a moment, and Noel starts thinking, that maybe Cameron knows something, or maybe he  _feels_  that something is changing too.  
  
More walls break during their kiss and some more with Cameron's intense look, and Noel can't help but to blink some tears away.  
  
“Ride me. Please.“ Cameron breathes hotly into his mouth, their tongues still dancing in and outside their mouths. And Noel is willing to do it, because he knows he'll  _feel_  even more, sitting deep on top of his love.  
  
He nods slightly, before Cameron reaches under his ass to pull him onto his lap, never letting his dick slip out of Noel's hole even if only an inch. Cameron sits backwards, with frog legs, to get Noel as deeply seated as possible.  
  
“Aaaah!“ he moans, once Noel is in the right position and angle and starts fucking himself on Cam's cock.  
  
Noel still isn't able to say something, he only lets out some whines and pleased cries, as he slowly pushes himself up, letting Cameron's cock slide out of his hole, inch by inch for the first time since Cameron pushed inside.  
  
The reaction comes immediately, as Cameron grabs his hips hard, to slam him back down. Noel squeezes his eyes shut, his head drops back and his mouth gapes open, as the tip of Cameron's hard dick hits his prostate directly. Again and again and again and Noel tries to absorb every feeling he is getting out of this, the pleasure, the pain, the emotion.   
  
They develop their own rhythm together, Noel's hips moving up- and downwards as Cam's does the same with each connection, they both release tangled moans.   
  
“You are so amazing, so good to me!“ Cameron speaks between sharp breaths, bringing two of the three walls left to fall.  
  
And Noel isn't able to concentrate on what he's doing anymore. He just lets himself  _feel_ , lets waves of pleasure engulf him.  
  
A tongue sliding inside his mouth. Kisses along his neck and his jaw. Teeth nibbling at his earlobe. Hands caressing up and down his sides. Goosebumps all over his body. His gut beginning to tighten. A hand wrapping around his cock. A thumb gliding over his slick slit. A firm grip starting to pump, adding even more pleasure. A cock penetrating him deep inside, hitting his prostate all the time.  
  
And all he can hear are gasps, breaths, moans and cries, before the last wall breaks and he shudders through a phenomenal orgasm.  
  
After a long day of feeling barely  _nothing,_  he now feels  _everything_  all at once, and it's too much for him to take.  
  
Angst. Satisfaction. Panic. Security. Jealousy. Love. Sadness. Happiness. Emptiness. Fullness.  
  
There are no more walls to hold back the feelings, the tears. Cameron broke it all and all Noel can do right now, is let them slip outside.  
  
His orgasm still sends waves of electricity through his body, and he shudders and trembles and cries, of pleasure and desperation. His lover underneath him lifts himself on his knees, grabs his hips hard and starts ramming upwards, the moment Noel stops moving to let the orgasm spread through his body.  
  
Cameron changes from soft and tender to rough and hard, causing more tears to slip from Noel's eyes, by feeling over sensitive at the stimulation. But it's good, it's so fucking good to  _feel_ it. Feel  _something,_ feel  _him._  
  
Noel's eyes pop open, a deep and raucous groan tearing from his throat.  
  
It's still too much, and Noel bites his lips hard, to not let out some sobs infront of his partner. It doesn't work and he inhales deeply to let them come. But the moment he wants to collapse, Cameron catches his lips in a demanding kiss, while still ramming his cock hard and fast up into Noel.  
  
“Fuck, fuck,  _Fuck!_  Noel, hold me, please, hold me!“ Cameron breathes inside his mouth, approaching his own climax fast.  
  
As Noel throws his arms around Cameron's neck, he feels one last hard push and then the hot liquid of Cam's release spill deep inside of him.  
  
Cameron cries, loud and long and lets his weight collapse onto Noel, who keeps his balance with one arm stemmed into the mattress. But as Cameron gets too heavy, Noel lays down slowly, taking his exhausted and drunk boyfriend with him and fondles his scalp, while he tries to steady his breathing.  
  
“Hey.“ he whispers, checking if the redhead is still alive. Noel can't understand the words he murmurs in response, but he guides him softly off his body. He feels Cameron's dick slipping out of him and takes some tissues from the drawer to clean up his stomach and hole, before tossing it in the dustbin, placed beside their bed.  
  
He lays back on his back, Cameron still just like he left him, laying on his stomach next to him. He seems asleep, Noel can tell by his heavy inhales and exhales. But all of a sudden he turns his head to face Noel with closed eyes, mumbling a soft “Thank you.“ before he drifts to sleep, without waiting for a respond.  
  
Noel stares at him, tears beginning to blur at the sight.  
  
He breathes out.  
  
He  _feels_  something. Finally.  
  
But it's nothing less than pure angst.  
  
He loves him, that's for sure. And this is horrifying as hell, because he'll lose him. He knows it. Their lives may be too different.  
  
Breathe in.  
  
Yeah, he  _feels_  something. Finally. But now he wishes he didn't...  
  
Breathe out.  
  
He cries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uff... I'm sorry for that, but I promise to stick to your ideas. I just need a storyline to get to it!
> 
> I hope you hang on and leave comments and/or kudos!
> 
> *mwah* all my love!!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all who accomppany me on their journey again!
> 
> You make me so happy with all your lovely words! Keep doing that :)
> 
> XXX

(NOEL'S POV)  
  
He tries to catch his breath, tries to regain control of his body, which is still spasming from the aftershocks of the orgasm that hit him just moments ago.   
  
He closes his eyes, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips, as he feels Cameron nuzzling his head in the crook of his neck, his heavy breathing trickling his skin. The feeling of Cameron's dick getting limb inside of him, surrounded by his hot cum is nothing less than amazing, and he bites at his bottom lip as he tries to savor the happiness he gets out of this. Because he knows, in a few moments, when he's empty again, it's gone and he's left worried and scared. So when Cameron starts moving above him, he quickly puts one hand on his ass and the other one in his neck, to hold him close and push him a little deeper inside of him.  
  
“Mhmmm... clingy Noel is one of my favorites!“ Cameron mumbles with a soft chuckle, kissing a line of light freckles from Noel's neck, to his chin, along his jawline to his ears. Where he remains to nibble at his earlobe and breathes hot and heavy inside, which causes Noel to moan again. If it wouldn't have been their second round of sex that day, which by the way is a daily routine now, he would get hard from Cameron's tenderness again. He wishes he could. He wishes they would be able to stay in bed the whole day, making out and having incredible good sex. But there's no way, because life happens and they still have to eat, shower and do their jobs.   
  
But letting Cameron slip out and get up from bed to leave the room means _losing_ him. A fear, he carries with him since their weekend in Vancouver, two weeks ago.  
  
A fear, he only carries with him, when he's alone, or _empty_ , without Cameron inside of him. Although Cameron is so sweet, soft and loving all the time, he just can't get rid off the feeling, that he's going to lose him. That their lives and their jobs will distract them at some point in the future. And this scares the fuck out of him. So much, that he shuts down all his feelings for Cameron, unable to show him the love he deserves, unable to tell him, how much he means to him day in day out. Until the guilt takes over him, seeing Cameron worried and sad –because damn, he is sure the redhead recognizes that Noel is sometimes cold as ice- and he decides to show his boyfriend his love for him within their touches.   
  
They then have sex. Sometimes painfully slow and lovingly, sometimes rough, hard and dirty. But no matter which variant they choose, it's always a result of Noel's fear of losing Cameron. And within their act, he can't stop the words 'I love you' from falling. He tells him constantly, while he feels himself full of Cameron. But it's the only time of the day he is able to let these words slip out. It's the only time of the day he feels strong, and brave and loved and _complete_. Without him he feels vulnerable and scared.  
  
This is why the last two weeks were an emotional roller coaster of ups and downs, highs and lows, happiness and sadness, fullness and emptiness, being able to love and give with all his heart and unable to show any kind of affection. This is Noel's inner life since the words of his mother changed everything, since she questioned the way he wants to spend his life from now on.   
  
The words became parasites in his memory, they devour his own feelings and thoughts until only the visions of his parents about how his life should be, remains. He is torn between the beautiful feeling of the love he feels for Cameron and the ugly feeling of the fear to lose this love brings with it.  
  
And he knows Cam notices it, but he also knows that Cameron won't push him to say something he isn't ready to share with him. Because Cameron _learnt_ from his mistakes. Noel hasn't.  
  
But how could he tell him, that his parents won't accept it, accept _him_? How could anyone not _love_ this beautiful man? How can he break his heart, by telling him, that they still hope for a reunion with Layla? He just can't. Because this may be the first step to losing him. So he shuts his mouth and shuts down his feelings, to not hurt and on top of that, to not get hurt.  
  
“I've got to get ready. You know I have a meeting for 'Anthem', the upcoming filmproject I'm going to do.“ Cameron says, as he pulls out of Noel and kisses his cheek.  He gets up and heading towards the bathroom.  
  
“Yeah, I know. You nervous?“ Noel asks, suddenly vulnerable again, taking a towel from beside the bed and cleaning himself dry.  
  
“Totally! Meeting the whole cast today. Hope we'll have a good connection.“ Cameron reminds him and Noel remembers the blond looking angel, called Payton List, who plays one of the main characters on this film with _his_ boyfriend.  
  
_“Maybe he‘ll find out that he likes girls again. And then? You gave up everything, for what? To please him for a little while?“,_ his mother’s voice calls at the back of his mind, always reminding him of his biggest fears. __  
  
“Sure you will.“ Noel mutters and bites his bottom lip hard, so he can feel the pain on his skin, and not in his heart.  
  
He hears the water pouring down in the shower and gets up to get himself dressed again. He also has a meeting with his manager today, and he has to get ready for it now. While he puts on his black jeans and a light blue hoodie, he reminds himself, that working is good. It distracts him a bit from the never-ending thoughts about the situation he is in.  
  
He takes his phone from the nightstand drawer and sees an unanswered call - his mother, again. He tosses it on the bed, his breaths getting shallow and heavy, while he wanders up and down the room, without any aim.  
  
He hasn't talked to her since that day. He can't. He doesn't want to hear her voice again, because _fuck_ , he hears it all the time anyway. Her words are like an endless loop in his head, driving him insane and further away from his boyfriend.  
  
Until he gets back the security in their relationship, he won't talk to her. That is the plan he made for himself. He doesn't want to be a little boy again, who gets taught by the wisdom of an experienced mother. NO. He wants to be the one teaching his mother about the beauty of loving someone like Cameron Monaghan.   
  
But right now he can't, because the beauty is surpassed by the fear that his mother might be right.   
  
Fuck.  
  
The water stops falling and some moments later a wet and gorgeous looking Cameron is standing in the room again, with only a towel wrapped around his hips. Regardless of how many times Noel has seen him naked, it’s never anything less than breathtaking. His body reacts to the sight almost immediately, sending shivering waves through every cell. So he quickly turns away, telling his heart, that it shouldn’t get used to this view.  
  
“So, you coming to dinner with us tonight?“ Cameron asks, and Noel notices the touch of hope within this question. Cameron wears his heart on his tongue. Another fucking incredible characteristic trait of him that Noel has learnt to love within their time together. Another quality he’ll have to let go.  
  
Cameron’s rummaging around his wardrobe snaps him from zoning out. A dinner with Tom and Ashton, also one of Cameron's (female) best friends. He doesn't really want to go there, he would rather shut the whole world outside and stay in this apartment with Cameron until the time of letting go has come.  
  
But he knows that Cameron wants him to, and after all of Noel's shitty behaviour during the last two weeks, he somehow thinks he owes him.   
  
“Uh.. yeah, okay.“ he stutters, looking anywhere but Cameron. He knows the redhead is smiling, and he knows what this would do to him. His chest would swell and his heart would explode of happiness. But he can't allow himself to feel it. It would only make the pain even worse.  
  
“Great! You'd love them! And _damn_ , they'll love you!“ Cameron says, grabbing Noel's hips from behind and turning him around. Noel can feel his heart beginning to speed up, as he is pressed against the bedroom wall, Cameron's face so close, his hot breathing tickling his skin. He pokes Noel's nose with his own, and presses a quick kiss on his lips. “I love you.“ he whispers, eyes getting wide, as he waits for Noel's response. With every passing second, Cameron's breathing becomes heavier, his hoping eyes wandering from Noel's eyes to his lips and back up, all while Noel swallows hard.  
  
_“Love? Noel, what Layla and you have had for more than ten years is love. This? This is fun. You may be having a good time with him, but you can't call it love.“_ His mother. Of course.  
  
Fuck. He needs to get out of here.  
  
Noel breaks the gaze and pushes Cameron away gently. “Yeah, okay drama queen, of course you do, cause you always get what you want from me.“ he fake chuckles and heads out of the room.  
  
“Is that so?“ he hears Cameron whisper behind his back, and he knows that it wasn‘t for his ears. Cameron has started questioning Noel's behaviour, and fuck, he can't blame him.  
  
“Have a nice day!“ he shouts and leaves their home as quickly as possible.  
  
Air. He needs air.  
  
  


  
The meeting with his manager was good. They went through the contract for the new mini series he is in, called ‘The long road home‘ and acted out days and weeks for his shootings. They set up a schedule, so that this project wouldn't cross other events or shoots which Noel should be in.   
  
After everything was arranged, Noel left the building satisfied. He spent a few hours without angst and panic, that's good! That’s a beginning. He is determind to stay self-confident for the meeting with Cameron and his friends now. Maybe this is the start of getting his life back. The life he was living two weeks ago. A life full of love, happiness, lust, hope, laughter and tenderness. A life with a future.  
  
He raises his hand to stop the next cab driving by and jumps in. “Kerby's“. he says, nervous about the dinner now.  


  
  
  
He sees them sitting in the back of the room, around a round table. Cameron looks fabulous, but when is Noel not attracted to him? The redhead is laughing with his adorable big smile, where you can see all his teeth. A smile, so real and warm, it melts Noel's heart. He can see Tom from his side and the girl, Ashton, from her back. Long brown hair hanging over her shoulders.   
  
As Noel walks towards them, Cameron notices him first, his big smile growing even bigger, as he stands up to greet him with a tight hug. Nothing more possible, due to the fact that they are in public now.  
  
“Noel, hey! You know Tom already. _Unfortunately!_ “ Cameron chuckles, bringing the night, where Noel had to pick his drunken boyfriend up from a club, back to his mind. Noel shakes Tom’s hand and turns around to face the girl. “And this is the beautiful and stunning Ashton!“ Cameron introduces them. With that Noel's self-confidence flies away and he shakes her hand hesitantly.   
  
_Beautiful. Stunning._  
  
_“Maybe he‘ll find out that he likes girls again. And then?“_ Not this phrase again. Noel inwardly wishes, her voice would just fade away. That the laughter and chatter would drown it. But it doesn’t.  
  
This is going to be a long night.  


  
  
  
After some beers and eaten burgers, the mood is merrymaking. At least for three of them. Noel really likes Cameron's friends, but somehow he feels queasy. Intimidated by Ashton's beauty and age. But what did he expect? He knew she's a model and of fucking course all models are beautiful. And damn if she doesn't remind him of Ruby every time he looks at her.  
  
“Haha, and Tom do you remember when Cameron fell naked in the pool?“ Ashton asks. “In the middle of the party of Liam Townsey? After stripping to 'You can leave your head on' for some random girl he wanted to impress?“she creaks through the hand she is holding infront of her mouth, to keep her laughter in, while all of them burst out laughing. Except one.  
  
“Fuck you Ashton,“ Cameron laughs, and shoves her shoulder playfully. “At least it weren't my screams coming from the inside of the detached house. Everybody could hear you praising Peter Fulton like a fucking sex god!“ he giggles and looks to his right, to find Noel's eyes. Noel is giggling too, but only because he is trying really hard.  
  
Cameron scans his face, obviously looking to find if some of the information is too much for him to hear. It is. But Cameron doesn't need to know. Noel just wants him to have a good time.  
  
But _shit_ , this evening reminds him of how different their lifes were just a year ago. Cameron seemed to join every fucking party and event, while Noel lived his gentle and comfortable life with Layla, talking a lot about the wedding and children.  
  
And as far as Noel can tell, Cameron _loved_ it. He loved going at parties, loved the alcohol, the weed, the music and not to forget the _girls_. -Thanks to Ashton for this information.   
  
And now? How does Cameron spend his life now, after getting together with _him_? They don't go out very often, it's the first time Noel is meeting Cameron's friends. Not to mention, Noel hasn't introduced Cameron to any of his friends. They often just stay at home, ordering pizza or sushi, or watching some movies and play video games. Before they get to their daily routine of making out and fucking.  
  
What if it's not enough for Cameron? Maybe he enjoys this now, but will regret it someday. That he gave up his party life. This will probably be the day Cameron will leave him...   
  
He inhales long and deep, trying to join the ongoing conversation again.  
  
“Now it's your turn to tell us some embarassing stories, Noel.“ Tom chuckles, all eyes fixed on him now. Noel fights a lump in his throat, tries to ignore the uprising heat. He and Layla lived a good and stable life, nothing excessive happened. Shit, Cameron would probably think he's boring, if he doesn't come up with a good story now.  
  
“Well... I think my story is equal to Ashton's, just that in mine, it was the pool house, and instead of party guests, my whole family was infront of the house, listening carefully to the noises that came out!“ he tells, before everyone starts laughing again.  
  
It wasn't a lie. It did happen, but nobody heard them. Their pool house was well isolated.  
  
Noel looks to his side, catching a glimpse of sadness in Cameron's eyes. Fuck, this story wasn't funny enough. Cameron doesn't laugh, he just smiles shyly.  
  
“Okay, okay, enough soul stripping for tonight! Any news about Clara?“ Cameron asks, trying to switch the topic as fast as possible. He looks in Tom‘s direction, who shakes his head forcefully.

“Fuck, no! The bitch threw all my stuff out on the street. She should be happy to never see me again, because if she would, she wouldn't smile for a long time, after I’m done telling her everything I want to!“ Cameron and Ashton giggle.  
  
“Fuck, I would have drowned all your stuff in the lake, if I were her. You fucked her best friend, Jesus!“ Ashton throws back.  
  
“Noel you have to know, he has no idea how to behave in a relationship! The longest lasted.. a month?“ Cameron enlightens him and earns a dead look from his friend.  
  
“Motherfucker! You’re only telling me that now ‘cause you‘ve settled down!“ Tom responds and Cameron nods his head triumphantly.   
  
“Oh yes, I have!“ the redhead smiles, looking proudly in Noel's direction, who holds his gaze at the glass infront of him.  
  
“But this would mean your last capture is free?“ Noel hears Tom asking and sees Cameron's head shooting up.  
  
“Ruby? Oh... no, I think she‘s seeing someone.“ Cameron explains. “And by the way, she's nice, so keep your fingers off her!“ he adds.  
  
Another sting in Noel's heart. Damn jealousy.  
  
“Why do you think she's seeing someone?“ Noel has to check, looking directly into emerald green eyes, which are blinking in confusion, a little taken back by this question.  
  
“Uhm.. because she told me.“ Cameron answers hesistant. He must  recognize the confusion in Noel’s face and goes on. “I called her a few days ago, wanted to know how she's doing.“  
  
Noel’s heart begins to flutter, but it’s not the good kind of fluttery Cameron is also able to produce. His blood shoots through his veins, bringing every cell in his body to pulsate and his pulse on 180.

What the fuck? He still calls Ruby? Asks how she's doing? Is there still something going on?  
  
All those beautiful women around Cameron, and he is jealous of all of them, since his mother made her way into his brain.

Ruby, Ashton, Peyton, and he's sure there are a whole lot more.  
  
He'll leave him. This is it.

The walls seem to come closer, the restaurant suddenly spinning. Anger, sadness, frustration, jealousy, fear. That’s what he feels. But they are on a dinner with Cameron’s friends, maybe not the best time to let the situation escalate. So he does, what he’s been doing since they came back from Vancouver, and shuts down all his feelings, packing them behind bar walls, making him numb again. He nods slightly and gives Cameron a smile, while inside he’s falling deeper and deeper into a big hole.  
  
He can't concentrate on the topic anymore, constantly suppressing the need to choke, and Cam seems to notice. “Alright guys, I'm tired for today, I think we'll head home, if that's okay with you, Noel?“  
  
Thank god. Finally.

Noel just nods his head, looking anywhere but Cameron, gulping the vomit down his esophagus.  
  
“Oooh, that sucks! But you two should come with us tomorrow to Mary's party! We could create some new embarassing stories together?“ Ashton smiles, getting up to embrace Cameron and Noel, and Noel has to fix onto a point on the wall, to not lose his balance and to keep standing still.

Tomorrow. Again.   
  
“Yeah, I'll text you!“ Cameron answers, and tells his friends goodbye.   
  
“It was so nice to meet you, Noel! Hope you can make it tomorrow.“ Tom says, when all the hugging is done.  
  
He takes a deep breath and finally gets some words out of his fucking mouth. “Yeah, you too.“ He responds quietly. As he‘s leaving the restaurant with Cameron, he hears Ashton calling. “I love you Cam, bye!“  
  
Ouch!

 

  
  
“So you like them?“ Cameron asks nervously on their way home, on lonely streets.  
  
“Yes, I like them.“, Noel murmurs. It's true, he does. Or he _would_ , if his mother wouldn't fuck everything up, telling him constantly, that Cameron is leaving him for a girl. Or boy. Whatever, either way the leaving part sucks. And since then, Noel has been finding one hundrend thousand reasons why he will give up on him.  
  
“And you had fun?“ his boyfriend questions.  
  
“Jesus, Cameron. Yes I had fun.“ Noel states, not wanting to get into the Ruby topic again.  
  
“So are you coming to the party tomorrow?“ Cameron wants to know.  
  
No, he doesn't want to go to a party. Not with hundreds of hot girls around his man. He wants to glory in the remaining time with Cam.  
  
“You wanna go?“ Noel counter questions.  
  
“Only if you want. I just wanna be where you are tomorrow.“ Cameron answers, producing thousands of butterflies in Noel's stomach which he tries to suppress. But it’s not working perfectly, because Cameron, after looking around, leans in and lays a soft kiss on his cheek. His face lightning up, after his lips brush Noel’s skin.  
  
Fuck, this beautiful, soft hearted, loving man takes his breath away. Noel knows, that if he wants to keep him, he'll have to do things Cameron likes to do. And if it means going to a party, then Noel is willing to do it.  
  
Maybe it's the way to postpone Cameron's leaving.  
  
“Okay. Let's go then!“ Noel agrees, already anxious about the event tomorrow.  
  


  
  
The next day Noel can't get it out of his head, that Cameron talked to Ruby. Why did he do that? Does he still have feelings for her? Or is he just a gentleman who looks out for her, after he broke her heart?  
  
Looks like Noel isn't then because he hasn't called Layla in a while. Not after his mum wanted him to fix things with her. But he _should_ call. He should ask her how she's doing and should check, if he still loves her.  
  
Maybe he can cross 'fix things with Layla' from his mother's list then. One confusing point less on his list, to come back to terms with himself.   
  
Remaining: Jelousy of all the girls around Cameron and angst about his leaving, because both have too different visions for the future.  
  
He takes out his phone and scrolls through his contacts. Thank god Cameron went for a run that morning, so he can call her in peace.   
  
His hands are shaking as he clicks on her name, the phone starting to dial the number.  
  
He is a nervous wreck as it rings, panic starting to rise.  
  
“Hello?“ Her voice. Soft and sweet. He takes a deep breath.  
  
“Hey Layla.“ he mutters.  
  
“Noel? Hey! Everything fine?“ she asks, sounding a little worried.  
  
“Oh yeah.. I just.. uhm.. wanted to know, how you've been doing?“ In his voice you can hear his nervousness. Layla knows him. She will notice it for sure.  
  
“Uhm.. good actually. Have a lot of assignments, a lot of work to do. You?“ she's friendly as ever, and Noel is ashamed of himself for breaking her heart.  
  
“Yeah, also a lot of stuff to do, you know.“ he answers, but has no idea how to go on. He recognizes that he's calmer, since hearing her voice. Something in it lets him breathe again.

Some moments of silence pass, before Layla speaks up.  
  
“Noel... your mum called me and told me about your last visit. She's really sorry, but still has hopes for.. you know... _us_. I tried to calm her and talk her out of this idea. So i told her something, I now need to tell you.“ Layla ever was a soft and empathetic woman, of course she defended him infront of his mother. Of fucking course. But Noel can’t deny that his body tensed up at her last sentence.  
  
“Noel, I'm seeing someone.“ she blurts out, and Noel doesn't know if he can trust his ears. He holds his breath, unable to respond to that. What is he feeling about this news?   
  
Jealousy? No. 

Hurt? No.

Disappointment? No.  
  
It feels... somehow… liberating. As if a burden is falling off his shoulders. A burden he has apparently carried with him, since they broke up. He doesn't have to torture himself with the thought of messing up her whole life, anymore. She goes on. So can he.  
  
Although it feels strange, to think about her with another man, it doesn't _hurt_. He just wants to protect her, doesn't want her to get hurt. But hey, this part is already dued to him, no one could be a bigger asshole to her than he was.   
  
“Noel?“ she interrupts his thoughts.  
  
“Wow. This is.. good, isn't it?“ he questions.  
  
“Yeah, I think so. I really like him.“ her words are hard to understand, she nearly whispers, as if she is ashamed of telling him. After all he did, _she_ seems to be the one who is ashamed.  
  
“Layla, that's great! Is he nice? Does he treat you right?“ he needs to know that she'll be in good hands, he still cares about her so much.   
  
“Yeah, he does! I think this could be the start of something good. Think this could be... _more,_ you know. Something to settle down.“ she says.

Settle down. Something he also wants to do. But will it ever come to this?It's good for her though to go on, to maybe find a new partner and build a family. It makes him _free_ somehow. Although it also makes him recognize, how much he craves for a life like that. Not with her, but Cam.  
  
“Wow. Uhm, sounds good. I'm really happy for you. _Honestly_!“ he lets her know.  
  
“Okay Noel. I have to go. Take care of yourself and don't let your mum bring you down. You know how she can be. Always arguing at first, before she is able to accept new things that are good. And you know she loves you a lot. She just needs some time.“  Layla eases him. This woman is a goddess. An angel, he was permitted to love for twelve wonderful years. He'll never forget her, never stop loving her. But the love for her changed and he found another angel, he is now allowed to love. He just doesn't know for how long..   
  
“I can never thank you enough for the way you treat me even after all that happened, Layla. You were always so perfect to me, and I will never stop being thankful for our time.“ he confesses and hears her sighing.  
  
“We can't help who we love Noel. Be aware of that and just go with it! You also treated me like an angel, Noel, I'll never forget that! Take care of yourself. Bye!“ she says and ends the call.  
  
Wow. That was absolutely liberating.  
  
This part of his fears seems 'tidy' now.  
  
He knows he still loves her, but in a completely different way than he loves Cam. At some point it's the same, because he cares about Layla and he cares about Cam. Loving Layla is.. comfortable. But loving Cameron is like the day and the night, a thunderstorm and a warm summer breeze, hot and cold, powerful and tender, hard and soft, easy and hard.  
  
For Layla he feels one emotion, a deep and platonic love. But for Cameron he feels thousands of emotions, everyday exploring more. But each of them are connected for the biggest one of them: a passionate and pure love.  
  
Now that he knows that Layla found someone new, he suddenly feels strong enough to fight for his love again.   
  
Because true love is worth fighting for, isn't it?  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right?? ;)
> 
> Thank you for leaving kudos and/or comments!
> 
> :-*


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the little delay - hope to update sooner next time :)
> 
> Anyways, enjoy and feel free to tell me what you think about it! :-*

(CAMERON'S POV)  
  
The party is in full swing. Alcohol is flowing, the music is turned up and the dance floor is filled with screeching guests.  
  
But although Cameron is here with two of his best friends and the love of his life, he can't enjoy it. Somehow he can't enjoy a lot of things since they came back from Vancouver. Noel seems to shut him out and it’s driving him crazy. He only opens up, when they have sex. But alteast the sex is something he enjoys a lot. It's the only time a day Cameron feels loved again, and this is fucking frightening. He doesn't want to lose Noel, doesn't want to ever let him go, but he isn't sure that it's still something Noel wants too. Or if he only enjoys their sex.   
  
This fear devours him and he needs to change it before he also turns into a walking dead, like Noel seems to be since then. He promised himself to talk to Noel, although it could end terribly and Noel could leave him. But he can't go on like this. He needs to know if the other man still loves him.  
  
He'll do it. He’ll talk to him. But not tonight. It's not the right place or moment.   
  
Cameron notices, that Noel feels a little unwell at the party. He knows that he's not much of a party animal anyway. And thanks to Noel, he also isn’t himself. He feels rooted now, safe. He doesn't need alcohol, drugs or girls every day to _feel_ something. Now that he has Noel, he finally feels complete. He became the man he always wanted to be, because Noel makes him feel loved. He gives him the feeling of being someone good, someone who is worth loving. At least he did so two weeks ago. Or he does when they‘re in bed.  
  
He wants nothing more than to take Noel's hand and reassure him that they could leave anytime he wants. A party here and there is fine, but when Cameron looks around the room he is glad that this isn't his daily routine anymore. Young people chasing after one another, getting drunk to feel adrenalin rushing through their veins, getting high, to forget about the low’s, fucking around with random people to pretend being worth it. Cameron wants to choke. His life is so much better now. It _was_ much better. Damn it, he wants it to be better again.  
  
Fuck, he wants to kiss Noel so badly, wants to show everyone in the room, that he is _his_ boyfriend, and all the girls and boys should keep their glances off him. But he can't, because they are in public right now, and they decided not to come out yet.  
  
“You okay?“ he shouts over the loud music into Noel's ears, who nods determined, giving him the same fake smile, he now uses every so often since the meeting with his parents.  
  
“Of course! Great party! I think I'll get another beer! You want one?“ Noel asks and Cameron can't help but recognize how much Noel has drunk so far.   
  
“No thanks! The night with Tom was enough lesson for me!“ he smiles and lets Noel disappear into the crowd.  
  
“Hey Monaghan, show me your best moves, come on!“ Ashton calls and grabs his hands to pull him onto the dancefloor.   
  
He isn't really in the mood for dancing, but what else can he do here? Making out with the man he wants to isn't possible, so dancing with friends is his next priority.  
  
He starts rolling his hips, turning around, closing his eyes and just lets himself feel the music. Ashton goes with him, presses her body to his and sways her hips to the beat. She traces her hands down his chest, while she moves down to her knees. Cameron lifts his hands and draws circles into the air, while constantly moving his hips up and down. Ashton moves back up, throwing her hands around his neck and leaning in close. She spreads Cameron's legs with her own, steps closer and moves to the beat.   
  
Cameron can hear people murmuring, they are cheered on by the crowd. He enjoys it, it lightens his mood for a moment.  
  
Until he hears Noel's loud and somehow pissed voice from behind him. “Hey Romeo, time to leave!“ he shouts into his ears, grabs his wrists and pulls him with him. Cameron is so perplexed, he can’t even find any words.  
  
To his surprise, they don't head outside to go back to their place. No. Noel hauls them down various corridors—further, and further away, until the crowd’s a distant memory. He pushes him into a bathroom and slams him against the door, lips attacking his bare skin. Cameron lifts his chin to grant him better access, completely taken aback by Noel's lust. He nips, licks, and sucks, every patch of naked flesh that he can reach which means Cam's neck and collar will be covered with bruises and love bites before dawn.  
  
“Fuck,” Cameron moans, grabbing Noel's head with both hands to kiss him fiercely, tasting the alcohol in his mouth. Both melt into it, the kiss becoming more sloppy and heated every second. It may be due to the huge amount of alcohol Noel drank tonight, but _fuck_ if Cameron isn't enjoying the way Noel _wants_ him right now.  
  
Noel is on him like a man starved—hands moving everywhere, his tongue almost touching the back of Cameron's throat. His legs pressing insistently between Cameron's parted thighs, pushing the redhead hard against the door.  
  
Noel holds him firmly before reaching down to unbuckle his belt and pulling his jeans and boxers down, letting them fall over his thighs and down around his ankles.  
  
“Tell Ashton, or Ruby, or Payton, or any other chick to fuck off!” Noel snarls against Cameron's ear, breath hot and damp. “You’re mine, you hear me?“ he whispers while he starts rubbing his palm on Cameron's growing erection.  
  
And Cameron can’t form words at that moment. They’re all stuck in his throat while Noel is dropping on his knees, one hand trailing away from his hip and fingers running across his warm skin, before they wrap around his cock. Noel looks up and Cameron can see a flutter of his dizzy blue eyes. It gets him on cloud nine, while Noel is pumping him a few times.

  
“Payton, _really_?“ he asks after a few moments, unable to understand the meaning of Noel's words. He hopes to get an answer, hopes to finally see what's going on lately.  
  
But when Noel only mumbles a low “Shut up.“ before he pokes his tongue out and teasingly flicks it over the tip of Cam’s dick, he knows it's again not the right moment for this kind of conversation.  
  
“Shit.“ he sucks in a short breath, his jaw dropping at the sight of Noel's bobbing head. Cam groans and throws his head back against the door, a dull thud sound following the action. The feeling of Noel's warm and wet mouth around him, makes him forget everything and he is only able to feel the wonderful pleasure his boyfriend is now giving him with his mouth, hand stroking the inches that don't fit.  
  
Noel stops pumping for a second to run his tongue all the way from his fist at the base, to the head of Cam’s cock before swallowing down as much as he can. Cam gasps and arches away from the wall, Noel's nails dig deeper into his skin, making his toes curl. As Noel presses his tongue hard onto the leaking slit, he suddenly needs something to hold on. He grabs his lover by the hair and twists his fist into it.   
  
Holy shit. He is afraid to fall over the edge, before Noel has even started with his sucking skills, but the way Noel sucks him off is more than satisfying. He is eager and the the soft groans that slip out of his mouth whenever he manages to take a breath have Cameron biting down painfully on his lip.  
  
Noel swirls his tongue around the head, licking a long line down Cameron’s shaft, and back up, sucking the dribbling precum, emitting a delicious moan. He begins using more pressure, as he focuses on sucking at the head for a second before plunging back down on the rest of Cam’s cock. Cameron can feel his knees going weak, as a wave of electricity shoots through his body.  
  
Cam groans and tugs on Noel’s hair, trying not to just full on fuck his mouth. He glances down and his mouth gapes open at the sight of his cock getting repeatedly swallowed by Noel’s plump lips.  
  
“Mine.“ Noel repeats quietly and the way he says it, brings the younger one extremely close to the edge, because _damn_ is Cameron eager to hear this confession out of his mouth. After two long weeks of steady worrying and wondering if he still wants him at all.  
  
“Yours!“ he reassures, between trembling breaths. “Fuck, Noel, aaah-“ he chokes out loudly, not giving a shit if someone hears his whines infront of the door.  
  
Noel hums around his dick, the vibrations travelling through Cam’s whole fucking body and leaving him breathless.  
  
Noel hollows his cheeks, sucking just a little harder and bobbing his head a little faster, trailing the hand still holding onto Cam’s hip to his ass, gripping onto the pale flesh hard enough to leave marks. He pulls Cam forward, getting him deeper into his mouth.

Cam shivers above him. His cock is hitting the back of Noel's throat and he knows he is about to lose it any second.  
  
“Noel - “ he mutters, as Noel's hand simultaneously makes up the extra few inches with a few quick tugs, while constantly deep throating him. High strangled groans slip from his lips, he is panting and breathless, eyes squeezing shut.  
  
As Noel starts swallowing while having Cameron's cock deep down, Cameron lets go. His head hits the wall, his hips stutter and he cries out loud, enjoying the painful need of his release, while his fingers are like a vice grip in Noel’s hair.

Noel keeps sucking him through his orgasm, swallows everything Cameron has to give, eager to even get the last drop out of him. And Cameron feels nothing less than _wanted_. He pulls off and leans his head against Cameron’s hip, both their breaths coming in short and quick huffs.  
  
When Cameron has himself recovered for a little bit, he grabs his lover by the hair and pulls him up. “Yours Noel, yours!“ he promises, before he tugs him into another searing kiss. Noel's lips are hot and full of saliva and cum. It’s messy and uncontrollable.   
  
As Cameron breaks the kiss, he can see a smile tugging at the corner of Noel's lips, and it seems to be the first time in weeks, he truly believes that smile.  
  
“Let's go home.“ the redhead whispers, before giving Noel a short peck on his lips.  
  
“Don't you wanna take care of that first?“ Noel smirks squiffy, pointing at the huge bulge inside of his pants.  
  
“At home, I promise. I think we've occupied the bathroom for long enough.“ Cameron admits and grabs Noel's neck to pull him into one last kiss, before opening the door. Checking if anyone can see them, they leave the bathroom when it's safe.  
  
“Okay, but a promise is a promise!“ he hears Noel mumbling behind his back and can't help the smile spreading over his face.

 

  
  
  
Cameron sits up in bed, after Noel falls asleep. He has never needed a cigarette after sex, but this time he does. Too tired to get up, he lights it in bed. Noel is too passed out to notice it anyway. He doesn't smoke often, although he has to admit, that the amount of cigarette intake has increased during the last two weeks.  
  
He takes a deep drag and leans back.  
  
What was that? Noel pushing him into the bathroom and sucking him off as if he was starving. And why the fuck did he mention Ashton and Ruby and _Payton_? He had seen her for the first time yesterday!  
  
He lets the smoke glide out of his parted lips, wondering why Noel is that jealous? The last weeks he acted like he doesn't care about Cameron that much anymore, and the next minute he leeches on to him, praising his love over and over.   
  
He acts hot and cold and Cameron can't handle this anymore. He needs to know what's going on, needs to know what happened in the kitchen with his mother. He is aware of the fact that Noel obviously doesn't want him to know and that he'd push him away _again_. But Cameron can't look at him anymore, can't look in a face full of sadness and fear. Noel needs help in handling this and Cameron wants to be the healing one.  
  
He takes another deep drag, looking at the beautiful man snoring next to him.   
  
He is _so_ beautiful, looking completely relaxed in his sleep. Cameron wishes it would stay that way.   
  
The burning smoke down his respiratory ducts is calming him down somehow, connecting him with the moment. He’s feeling pleasure and pain, hope and fear all at once.  
  
He‘s wanted to talk to Noel since he came back from 'cleaning up' the kitchen with his mother. But the look on Noel's face made him hold off. He looked as if he were questioning everything. He left the living room determined and came back as a wreck, doubt about their love written all over his face.

And it made Cameron start panicking. He knew that if he'd pushed Noel into a talk, he would have probably let all his worries and fears slip out and break up with him as a result. And Cam wouldn't be able to survive this. He can stand a lot, but losing Noel would be intolerable, just _not possible_.

Therefore he remained silent. He was silent about the obvious, which is what they have been carrying around with them for two weeks now. Because as long as Noel says nothing, hope exists, right?

He inhales deeply on the burning nicotine, before he lets his throughts wander off again.

At least not talking about it gives Cameron time to convince him that what they have is good; _right_. Time to tell him, that he loves him again and again, even if the meaning of his words don't seem to reach Noel. He never returns it, only during the sex they have, and then it seems more that Noel tries to convince himself about it. About them.  
  
But instead of destroying Noel's doubts day by day, a little more, time only seems to make it worse. Every day Noel looks more corroded by fears and worries and Cameron can't watch any longer.  
  
He must finally talk to him, even if it could mean losing him.  
  
The blowjob today, however, has given him some confidence that Noel might also not want to lose him, and that‘s precisely the spark of hope he had needed to finally get on with this topic.  
  
Tomorrow.   
  
Tomorrow they need to talk.  
  
He let the smoke fade away, before stubbing the cigarette out and going to sleep.

 

  
  
  
“Morning Cinderella, time to get up.“ Cameron softly shakes Noel's shoulder, getting a low groan in response. “Come on, the early bird catches the worm... or something! Oh wait, in this case it's like the noon bird!“ Cameron giggles, completely dressed and ready to start the day.  
  
“Fuck the birds!“ Noel mumbles and turns to his side, pulling the blanket up to cover his face.  
  
“Come on old man, you're 33 not 83. I have plans for us today!“ Cameron smirks and pushes Noel out of the bed.  
  
He doesn't now what those words do to Noel.

 

  
  
  
  
“And why the fuck are we going to your beachhouse today?“ Noel asks with an annoyed voice, a cap pulled deep down on his face, as he sits next to Cameron on the passenger seat.  
  
“Because I’ve always wanted to show you but we never have enough time. Or never take some time. And today you're already too wasted for work or sex, so I guess we could use this day for hanging out on the beach!“ Cameron replies, peering and smiling over to Noel for a short moment, before looking back on the road.  
  
He wants to create a smooth atmosphere for their needed talk. And who is able to fight on a beach, surrounded by the calming sounds of waves crashing on some rocks?

Nobody, Cameron hopes imploringly.  
  
“Great plan, Monaghan, considering that I can't stand the sunlight today. Very ruthless, thanks man.“ Noel mumbles, pulling the cap even lower down his eyes so as not to encounter the sun.  
  
Cameron only chuckles. “Always my pleasure, Fisher!“  
  
They drive in silence for twenty more minutes, Cameron guessing that Noel fell asleep again, until his phone rings, awakening his lover.  
  
He picks up, his telephone loudspeaker turned on.  
  
“Caaaaaaaaam!“ the lively voice of Ashton echos through the speakers, and Cameron notices Noel sitting up straight instantly.  
  
“Hey Ash.“ he greets her.  
  
“When the fuck did you leave last night? Haven't seen you after our dance session! Tom couldn't find you either.“ she asks, still hyper from the party.  
  
“I guess he didn't try very hard. He was very into some random girl when I left!“ Cameron jokes, giving Noel a bright smile, when he recognizes that his eyes are scanning him deeply, before he tells her the time of their leaving.  
  
“Alright. You missed my triumph at beer bong! I've beat all the male asses!“ she tells him proudly.  
  
“Yeah, bet you did!“ he answers, as he can visibly imagine her at this. Ashton is a party queen through and through, of course she leaves all the guys behind at beer bong.  
  
“Where are you? Sounds like you're in a car“ she questions.  
  
Cameron smiles. “We're driving to my beachhouse Sherlock!“.  
  
“Wait, you‘re not hiding in a dark room today? Who are you? Mr. Unbreakable or something?“ she asks, stunned about Cameron's ability to do something productive after a party night.  
  
“Fuck. Preach it man!“ Noel remarks and Cameron smirks at the thought of his two zombies.  
  
“Oh, hey Noel!“ Ashton greets him and Noel responds.  
  
“Okay, guess you're a grown and serious man now, Monaghan! So you guys won't join me at Holly's party today?“  
  
“Thanks but we're taking a break tonight. You should do it as well, Ash!“, Cameron says provident.  
  
“Yeah, we‘ll see if I'm alive until then! Okay, well, then have a nice day, guys. Love you, Cam!“ Ashton's voice shrills through the speakers and Cameron sees Noel swallow hard at the corner of his eyes.   
  
Noel is bothered by it, obviously. But Cam is used to saying it to Tom and Ashton, and he knows she‘s waiting for his reply so he quickly whispers “I love you too.“ but feels slightly discomforted by it.  
  
Noel turns his head to stare out the window as Cameron ends the call.

Cameron bites his tongue. He wants to say something, but doesn't want to start a fight in the car right now. Five more minutes until they arrive, then they‘ll have to talk!  
  


 

  
  
The day passes, but Cameron doesn't have the balls to bring up the topic. He doesn't know how to start. To his surprise, Noel seems to have relaxed since they got here. He didn't go outside to Cam's private space of the beach that belongs to the house, but at least he got comfortable on the inside.   
  
First he threw himself on the couch, infront of a huge glass front where there’s a beautiful outlook of the beach and the rough sea. Noel enjoyed the sight for about two minutes, before he drifted off to sleep again.  
  
Cameron decided to cook lunch for them in the meantime. The kitchen and living room was one big room so Cameron could steal glances at Noel the whole time.  
  
God, this man is beautiful. Cameron really hopes this won't be the last time he sees him sleeping. He can’t live without this image. He can’t live without _him._  
  
After half of an hour, he woke him up to eat and they enjoyed their meal on the inside, only talking about the beauty of this beachhouse. Cam told him that his mother stays here everytime she's in town, and that the furniture was all her. She made this perfect place even more perfect.  
  
Now that they are done eating and put the dishes into the dishwasher, Cameron grabs some limo out of the refrigerator and makes his way over to Noel, who is still sitting on a chair beside the table, and wraps his arms around his neck from behind. Noel looks up, staring deep into Cameron's eyes and the younger man can feel his whole body shaking at the intensity of it. He leans down to lay a soft kiss on Noel's thick red and wonderful lips. Before he pulls apart, he lets his tongue slip over his lips to savor the familiar taste.   
  
Fuck, he can't lose him, he wouldn't survive it.   
  
He hands Noel the bottle of limo and straightens up. “Come on.“ he whispers and nods his head in the diection of the beach. His tone is soft but heavy and the way Noel sighs, makes him believe, that he may have a premonition of what comes next.  
  
He follows Cameron outside the room, over the terrace and onto the beach until they are only a few steps away from the water. They sit down, placing the limo beside them and both letting their arms hang loose around their knees.  
  
Cameron's breath is getting faster every second they stay silent. He knows the moment of his biggest fear has come.  
  
Now or never.  
  
“Sooo...“ he starts, but his voice leaves him high and dry. He can see in the corner of his eyes, that this little word alone, makes Noel's head drop, his eyes fixed on the sand between his legs. Cameron clears his throat. “Ashton, Ruby and Payton?“ he asks, although it's not a real question. But Noel seems to understand and nods slightly, his gaze still on the ground.  
  
“Have a lot of love to give, don't ya?“ Noel answers and Cameron can sense the bitterness instantly. His heart starts racing.  
  
“Huh?“ he doesn't get the meaning of Noel's words. The older man looks up and turns to him, staring deeply in Cameron's green eyes.  
  
“You tell a lot of people you love them. Tom , Ashton, me. Who knows who else?“ Noel shrugs his shoulders, saying this without any emotion. His words harsh and cold, his eyes wandering back on the sand between his legs.  
  
“Are you fucking serious right now?“ Cameron questions, chuckling a little, because Noel can't think like this for real, right? But the only response he gets, is another shrug from the man he loves.  
  
“Noel, I love Tom and Ashton, but I’m _in_ _love_ with you. My love for them is completely different to my love for you. Please believe that.“ Cameron says and pauses shortly, looking at his hurt boyfriend before he continues. “And Payton? You know it's ridiculous, because I've only seen her once. And you know better than anyone else, that I've never fucking said 'I love you' to Ruby!“ Cameron defends himself, not understanding why Noel brought her up again.  
  
“How should I know? I didn't even know you stayed in contact with her. I don't know what you two are talking about on the phone! Looks like I don’t know a lot, huh?“ Noel counters, this time with more rage.  
  
Cameron is completely taken aback by Noel's words. He can't be serious.  
  
“Wow... I...“ Cameron's mouth gapes open, but no words escape. He presses two fingers into the corner of his eyes, while Noel takes a sip of his limo and places it back where it was standing on his side. Cameron breathes in deeply and adds. “I won't reply to this shit, because you _know_ this is shit, Noel! What the hell is wrong with you, huh?“ Cameron's voice is now the one carrying a lot of anger and frustration.  
  
But Noel doesn't answer his question. He only swallows hard, looking straight over the ocean.  
  
Cameron inhales heavily again. He doesn't want this talk to escalate, but he needs some answers. He needs _his_ Noel back. He needs him so badly.  
  
“Noel...“ he starts again, this time in a much softer tone. He touches Noel's forearm with his hand looking at the side of his lover's face, who continues staring at the ocean. “Please tell me what's going on with you since our visit to your parents house? I know that something must have happened in the kitchen while you were in there with your mum. The way you looked afterwards told it’s own tale. Please. You can tell me everything, I won't be upset or mad. I just...“ he breathes out and touches Noel's chin with his hand, to turn his face in his direction, Noel still avoids his gaze. “I just need _you_ back. The way you were before. Because _nothing_ has changed. Even if your mum doesn't support us, our feelings didn't change, or did they?“  
  
This is it. The question that is about to ruin his life within seconds. Cameron can hear the blood rushing in his ears, before Noel finally looks at him, sadness behind those blue eyes.  
  
“Not now, probably.“ he mumbles, before he quickly turns his face away again, staring back at the ocean.  
  
Cameron feels his heart drop. “Can you be a little more precise? Because I don't understand any of the shit that‘s going on here!“ he utters, his body shaking in fear, not knowing if this means that Noel doesn't love him anymore.  
  
Noel heavily blows some air through his nostrils. It looks like he‘s preparing himself for the upcoming words, that Cameron doubts he is strong enough to hear.  
  
“Fuck Cam!“ Noel blurts out suddenly. “I'm not the man you want to be with! I'm no party animal who attends every fucking party event, drinking, smoking and doing all of that shit. I was, at a younger age, before I met Layla. Now I just want to live a stable life, with someone by my side, who wants to get married, wants to have children. Because, _fuck_ , I'm 33 years old Cam. I'm ten fucking years older than you! I'm done making new experiences. I know what I want. But you... you can't know, because you are 23. This age, it's completely tolerable to do stupid shit and get back on the road later, because you have a lot of years to go till you realize what you really want.“ the words seem to bubble out of Noel's mouth, now that he’s not holding them back anymore. Each word filled with anger, hurt, sadness, hopelessness and fear. It makes Cameron speechless for some moments.  
  
Fuck. Fucking fuck!  
  
Cameron inhales deeply, before huffing out a sarcastic laugh.  
  
“The experience shit again? _Really_ , Noel? That's what your mother told you? That I'm too young to settle down? That I want to spend my life at parties rather than at home with you? That I don't wanna marry you or have children, because I'm too young for this shit? That I‘ll just go back to dating women because this is only a shitty experience for me and I'm going to dump you anyways? That's what _she_ told you? Or is that what _you_ think? Huh?“ Cameron questions and he really hopes, it's not the latter. He can live with it, if those are his mother's words. Because he can understand, that it's a lot for them to take: the breakup of their son and beloved Layla after 12 good years, the cancelled wedding, the 'lost' grandchildren, the suddenly gay son _plus_ the suddenly gay son in a relationship with a ten years younger redhead.  
  
He can understand them, and it's okay for him, if they need some time to be able to accept it; accept _him_.  
  
But he can't deal with it, if this is still what Noel thinks of him, after all they went through. He is tired of proving to Noel, that he _wants_ this. Fuck, he wants this!   
  
But after minutes of giving Noel a chance to answer his question where he still stays silent, is enough answer for Cameron. His blood rushes through his body, his anger swelling in his chest.  
  
He breathes heavily through his nose and gets up, taking one last look down on the man whose eyes are still fixed on the sea, and not him.  
  
“You know what Noel? Maybe you‘re right. You're definitely not the man I want to be with right now.“ he whispers broken, biting hard on his lips, while tears begin to blur at the sight of his lover.  
  
Noel doesn't seem to want to respond, so Cameron turns around and stumps into the beachhouse, leaving the man he _definitely_ wants to be with, behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh...


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update - yay!
> 
> Hope I can make it up to you for the last chapter :)
> 
> Enjoooooy <3
> 
> PS.: Just wanna say, I'm sooooo thankful for all your lovely comments!!!!! *mwah*
> 
> PPS.: A special thanks to LuckyShaz for editing - I hope my comma problems are getting better soon ;D

(CAMERON'S POV)  
  
He heads into the bathroom and locks the door behind him. Leaning against the sink, he tries to steady his shallow breathing, as he looks at himself in the mirror.   
  
Does Noel still love him? Does he even want to be with him? Because right now, it doesn't seem so. He pushes him further and further away, not letting Cameron get close, not letting him love him.  
  
What did his mother do with his mind? Why did her words have so much effect on Noel?  
  
Of course he would be upset and sad as well, if his mum would have been disappointed as a reaction to them, but it wouldn't change a thing. And above everything, it would certainly not change his feelings for Noel.   
  
He leans down and splashes some cold water in his face.  
  
_“I'm not the man_ you _want to be with!“_ Noel's words echo in his head causing Cameron to choke. Why does he think that? Why do the words of his mother seem to have brainwashed him?  
  
Noel _must_ know that he loves him, he has proven it to him a hundred times, right? But obviously Noel is still fucking afraid of losing him. To a woman, or a man. _Why?_ Doesn’t he show him enough how important he is to him? He really thought he does, but it seems not to get through to Noel.  
  
Cameron dries his face with the towel beside the sink and stares at himself in the mirror again.  
  
It crosses his mind that _Noel_ ended a long term relationship for _him_ , that _Noel_ said the three words first to _him_ , that _Noel_ came out infront of the cast for _him_ and that _Noel_ was there in the restaurant for _him_ , when he told his mother that he's gay.  
  
Noel did a lot of big things for him, but what did Cameron do? Sure he tells and shows him day by day, that he loves him. But maybe it's his turn now, to do something _big_. Something that will show Noel that he is serious about them and that he's not going to leave. Ever.  
  
Cameron takes one last deep breath before he opens the bathroom door and heads straight to the bag he brought with him, for the days he wanted them to spend at the beachhouse. They haven't talked about staying longer, but if Noel would have felt peaceful here if only a little, Cameron would have persuaded him to stay.  
  
He rummages around in his bag until he finds what he‘s looking for.  
  
He knows, why he brought it with him. At home the thought that he might need it had been creeping over him, that their talk might end in an all or nothing situation.  
  
And Cameron wants _all_. He knew it since he saw Noel again. And more than ever knew it, when he bought it the day after they told Cam‘s mum about them.  
  
He's in for all, and he hopes Noel doesn't decide his in for nothing..  
  
  
  
(NOEL'S POV)  
  
He digs his feet deeper into the beach, his head hanging loose between his shoulders. The tears that fall steady from his eyes, draw drops into the sand. Noel can't count how much he has cried, because the drops began to unite to a big circle of wet sand between his legs.  
  
God, he's so wrecked. Instead of fighting for his love, he makes him leave. Instead of going after him, he cries like a baby.   
  
He lets one sigh after another escape his throat, noticing that every feeling that has pent-up during the last two weeks, seem to crash down over him now.   
  
It happened. The love of his life left him, so no need to carry this huge burden full of angst around with him anymore. He is finally free of it, shouldn‘t this be relieving?  
  
Fuck. It's _so_ not.  
  
It hurts like a motherfucker, but there’s no way out. He has to deal with it now. He provoked Cameron to act like this, provoked him to leave him. The pain is the following and natural consequence.  
  
He never wanted to lose him, never wanted to let him go. But the thought of loving Cameron more and more every day and then watch him leave someday, tore him in two. One half latched on to Cameron and the hope of never losing him, while the other one pushed him away for self protection. Well... the second half won - _yay_!  
  
His sobs and cries get louder and heavier, as he seems to understand the extent of his loss more with every passing second.  
  
_Too much_. It's too much pain.   
  
He has prepared himself to lose him during the last two weeks, why doesn't it hurt less? He thought building up emotional walls and acting cold will prevent him from the hurt, at least a little. But it does shit!  
  
He can't stop crying, as he suddenly feels all the love for Cameron at once. He needs him, wants him, but has already lost him. What can he do?  
  
The words of his mother suddenly vanish, seeming less important than what he knows he wants now. Why couldn't he see it a lot earlier? Why does he always have to make things worse, before he can fix them?  
  
He buries his face in his hands and lets the emotion take over him. He's so weak to fight against it, it was too hard holding every feeling back during the last weeks. He can't make it now. He's down, deep down and he doesn't know how to ever get up again.  
  
He lets himself cry, sob and sigh, lets his body shake in the way it needs to, until he feels arms wrapping around his neck and his shoulders from behind. He frowns immediatly as _his_ warm body presses against his back, _his_ legs surrounding his own, _his_ nose and mouth inhaling the scent of Noel's face. Goosebumps spread all over Noel's body at the touch.  
  
He really hopes his mind isn‘t doing shit to him. That Cameron isn't just a hallucination, due to the pain his body and soul aren't able to bare. He grabs onto Cameron's arms quickly and just holds them, while they hold him. Cameron's soft breathing helps him finding an accurate pace of in- and exhaling again. They sit entangled for some moments in silence, just breathing and watching the beginning of a sunset.  
  
If this isn't Cameron's way of saying goodbye, then Noel won't let him go again. He won't. He won't ever do this shit to him again, if he only gets one last chance.  
  
_This man_. Like an angel sent from above.  
  
“Do you still love me?“ Cameron whispers into his ears, pressing a soft kiss on the side of his forehead.  
  
“Of course I do.“ Noel sighs, but doesn't turn around. He is too ashamed of his tear strained face. After all it's his fault.  
  
“But you are afraid of losing me?“ Cameron's soft voice asks, one hand digging into Noel's hair, caressing his head.  
  
Just as the question is pronounced, Noel's eyes fill with tears again, a sob escapes his throat. “ _Fuck!_ “ he sighs, unable to agree to the question which causes too much pain to even think about again. But to feel Cameron and hear him breathing, gives him hope. He's here. With him. After all he did.  
  
Finally he nods. “Yeah.“ It's only a whisper, but Cameron gets it, pulling him into an embrace deeper than before, inhaling Noel's scent in the crook of his neck, where he buries his face. “So fucking much!“ Noel adds, as his hands dig harder into the flesh of Cameron's arms than before, as if he‘s trying to hold on to Cameron for the rest of their lives.   
  
Another minute passes, where they just sit, breath and sigh. Their bodies pressed tight against each other, until Noel feels Cameron detaching himself from him.  
  
“Okay.“ Cameron breathes one last time into Noel's ear, before he makes his way from the back to Noel's front, to face him. He kneels infront of him, cupping his face in both hands. “Listen to me carefully, okay? I want you to replace your mother's words with mine.“ Cameron says, his voice sounding so sweet and tender, Noel's heart is ready to explode with every second.  
  
Cameron's expression is worried though dead steady. And Noel can see how serious Cameron is about this now. Curious about what he's going to say, he nods.  
  
“Okay.“ Cameron breathes and nods, as if he's trying to encourage himself for the next step. His hands wander to Noel's hands on his knees. Cameron's eyes fixate on their interlaced fingers for a few moments, before he looks up again. Noel loses himself in the beautiful green of his big eyes.  
  
“Noel, I am totally and completely in love with you, since you walked in for the table read in season 7. Maybe I was even during earlier seasons, but since season 7 I‘ve known it for sure, that you are the man I want to spend my life with. I don't need parties, alcohol, drugs or all that other shit. I just need _you_.“ Cameron reassures him, emphasising on the last word and squeezing Noel's hand with a soft smile.  
  
Noel's heart races hearing Cameron's words, not seemingly be able to calm down. His eyes fill with tears again and his chest starts swelling with love, nervousness and pride.  
  
“You are the sun, the air, my heart and everything else I need to live. Because you _are_ everything to me. Just let me love you and you'd make me the happiest man I can be. And I promise to do _everything_ I can to make you happy as well. Just don't ever shut me out again. Please.“   
  
Fuck. Cameron's voice is so fragile and tender, but his words sound powerful and determind. Noel bites his bottom lip hard, to hold himself from sobbing and crying like a baby again. All the things he wants to say to Cameron right now seem to stick in his throat. So he swallows his sob and nods as an agreement to Cameron's hidden question. This causes the redhead to sigh in relief and Noel can see some tears in the afterglow of the sunset, leaving the corner of his eyes.   
  
While Cameron parts Noel's thighs, to scoot closer to him, he speaks up again.  
  
“Fuck, I have never said so much emotional shit in my life to anybody before. And I probably never will. But I'm coming to a point now, I promise.“ he half chuckles as he slips his hand in one of his pockets behind his back, taking out a little black box.   
  
And suddenly the time seems to stand still for Noel, as he looks at the box in Cameron's hands who’s fumbling with it infront of him. His eyes move from the box to Cameron's eyes and back down rapidly. He doesn't know if he‘s suffering from a heart attack right now, but he is sure his heart has never beaten at such a high speed before. His mouth gapes open, his body starts trembling, he hears the blood rushing in his ears and feels tears escaping.  
  
What. The. _Fuck_.  
  
Cameron. _His_ Cameron looks nervous as fuck and is still the most beautiful human being in the whole galaxy. Blue meets green and Noel has the feeling of getting lost in it.  
  
But then Cameron opens the box and the time seems to be on track again.  
  
A plain silver ring appears infront of him.  
  
_Holy_...  
  
“Noel Roem Fisher, will you _please_ marry me?“  
  
... _shit_!  
  
He can't breathe. He just stares at the ring, unable to form a single word. The evening went from breaking down, thinking that he lost Cameron, to getting engaged. Does this really happen? Can this be real? Or is his mind playing tricks on him?  
  
“Fuck!“ Noel breathes, finally looking up to meet Cameron's eyes, which seem to stare holes inside his head.  
  
“That your answer? _Fuck_?“ Cameron asks jokingly, but still nervous about what Noel might say.   
  
“No!“ Noel protests abruptly and smiles at Cameron who looks a little shocked.

“ _No_?“ he questions with raised eyebrows, his hands still clinging to the box with the ring.  
  
“What? No, no, _No_. _Fuck_!“ he stutters and rubs with his palm over his face. Cameron just smiles at him and Noel can imagine that the redhead finds him funny and cute. “Okay back to the beginning!“ Noel says, a soft laugh escaping his lips. He takes Cameron's hands in his and looks him deeply in the eyes, before he starts again. “Fuck yes, Cameron Riley Monaghan, I wanna fucking marry you!“  
  
Cameron's smile grows bigger and bigger, while Noel’s heart seems to combust with joy. But before he is able to crash his lips onto the younger ones, Cameron slides the ring onto the finger on his left hand and presses a kiss on it. Now Noel’s whole body seems to tremble, a sigh finding it’s way out of his throat. He can’t hold it back any longer, he grabs Cam’s face with both hands and slides his tongue over Cameron's lips to plead for entrance. Cameron immediately reciprocates, opening his mouth and letting him in. The kiss is deep, but sweet and tender. There's nothing rough or hard about it, just pure... _love_.  
  
Noel enjoys the taste and feeling that he has been craving since he tasted this lips for the first time. It's intoxicating and no way of ever getting clean of it. Not to mention that he never wants getting clean of Cameron. He feels as if he's blacking out from too much pleasure. He grabs onto Cameron’s hips to steady himself. He doesn't know if the butterflies in his chest just make him feel incredible, or they are going to kill him. Nevertheless, it feels fucking amazing, and he wants more. _Needs_ more.  
  
Noel bites Cameron’s lower lip slightly and then deepens the kiss, moving his hands from his lover’s waist up to his neck, pulling him even closer, tongues massaging each other and teeth softly grazing over lips.  
  
Cam detatches himself from the kiss only to nuzzles Noel’s nose with his, before going in for another encore of softer kisses.  
  
Their bodies still pressed close to each other, Noel can feel them both hardening at the pressure and closeness.  
  
“Beachhouse?” he breathes, unsteady. He‘s still shocked that he is now engaged to the love of his life.  
  
“Beachhouse.” Cameron confirms and gets up, reaching his hand down to Noel to help him do the same.  
  
The two stumble their way into the house, lips never leaving one another’s, as they find their way to the couch Noel had slept on hours ago.  
  
Noel pushes Cameron down and backs away slightly to take the other man in.   
  
“I love you.“ he mumbles, staring directly into Cameron's big puppy dog eyes, before he climbs on top of his fiancé and straddles his hips. Cameron's hands instantly grip onto his waist and pull him down.

He nuzzles his head into the side of Noel's face, whispering hotly; “I love you too. So fucking much!“ in his ears.  
  
Fuck. As terrible as this evening started, it now turns out to be the best night of Noel's life. His burning eyes may remind him of the past hours, but the sight infront of him shows him something completely different. He grins at the absolutely adorable young man beneath him, thinking that he is _his_ present and future. He starts to roll his hips and grind down forcefully on Cameron’s already hard dick, his lips gravitating towards his partner’s.  
  
They are gently exploring their mouths with their tongues, while Cameron bunches Noel's shirt up to access a sliver of skin that he uses his thumbs to draw soft circles onto. Noel's eyes squeeze shut, as his muscles twitch at the contact and his breath gets caught in his throat.   
  
”Take your fucking clothes off.” Noel mumbles, barely pulling away from Cameron at all. Their noses are still touching, none of them wants to be an inch apart from each other. “I need to feel you!“ he adds, opening his eyes to peer up into Cam’s. His gaze is soft now amidst the dark heat of the moment.  
  
Cameron smirks, peeling his shirt off and throwing it to the side before he quickly makes sure to get rid of Noel’s shirt as well. He attaches his lips to Noel’s jawline, nibbling, before he pushes Noel's up a little to remove his jeans and boxers in one move. While Noel steps out his fabric, he lifts Cameron's ass up, to pull his jeans and boxers down as well, before he climbs naked back on top of him.  
  
When their lips and cocks touch at the same time, both let out soft moans inside their hot mouths. Every contact with Cameron's skin sends shock waves through Noel's body, reminding him, that this is the air he needs to breathe. _Cameron._

He just can't believe what this man did today – proposing to him, after all the shit that happened before. After everything that Noel had said and done, Cameron still proved to him how much he wants to be with him, sending Noel straight onto cloud nine, still unable to gather the whole situation.   
  
Noel is the one to break the kiss, their eyes slowly blinking open to connect with each other’s, hearts pumping to the same beat. Noel let's his gaze wander up and down Cameron's body and can't help but realize how beautiful _his_ man looks. Big green eyes, swollen red lips, pale and freckled skin, messy red hair. Vulnerable, soft and ready to give. Noel's heart skips a beat.  
  
“You’re so fucking amazing, sometimes I don't think I des…” Cam cuts him off by crashing their lips together once again, letting out a moan as Noel meets his hunger.  
  
Cameron's hands knead Noel's ass, his lips caress his neck and jawline, as if they are discovering it for the first time. Noel, now eager to get more of his younger lover, can't help but grind down harder on Cameron's leaking dick, who muffles his groan by sucking at Noel's soft flesh. Noel feels himself getting a hickey where his partner is sucking, but could care less. Cameron loves him. And he loves Cameron. And that‘s all this is about!  
  
”Fuck, Noel.” Cameron breathes into the crook of his boyfriend's neck, when the older man starts stroking his cock slowly. “Get the lube out of my pockets!“ Cameron orders and Noel obeys, climbing off of him and fumbling inside the scattered clothes on the floor until he finds what he's looking for. He then straddles Cameron again.  
  
Cameron attaches their lips once more, while Noel keeps palming him slowly. He notices Cameron opening the tube behind his back and getting his fingers coated with lube. As his boyfriend guides his hands down his back to his ass, Noel shivers in anticipation.  
  
He can’t help but acknowledge that the sparks in his body, the tightness in his throat and the butterflies in his stomach are not just sexual, but emotional.  
  
He loves the redhead so fucking much and now that he is finally engadged to the love of his life, he couldn't be happier. He is a little afraid of waking up from the best dream he‘s ever had, but then he feels Cameron wrapping a hand into his hair as their tongues slide over each other, and he knows that he isn't sleeping.  
  
No dream can ever compare to this feeling.  
  
_Love. Joy. Happiness._  
  
Noel’s breath hitches as Cam circles his opening, carefully sliding a finger in. He is knuckle deep when Noel wraps his legs around Cameron's torso, urging him on.   
  
Cameron slowly pushes them one at a time into Noel, Noel squirming and flinching a bit but encouraging him to keep going with little nods of his head and slow groans now and then.   
The movements of Noel's hand on Cameron's dick is the same pace with which Cam slides his fingers in and out. The pleasure both men are feeling makes them moan softly inside their mouths between heated kisses.  
  
Cam then brings his mouth down to press onto Noel’s nipples. He licks and nips just the tip of them with his teeth, using his tongue to coil around each one in different intervals expertly. Draging a deep, low moan from Noel’s throat.  
  
 ”Fucking Christ.” Noel curses when Cameron curls his fingers. ”More”  
  
As the younger man adds a third finger to move them in a scissoring motion, stretching his boyfriend out as much as he can, Noel lets go of Cameron's cock to fixate at the pleasure he's feeling.  
  
He guides Cameron’s head back up to let his tongue explore every inch of his fiancé's mouth, determined to savor the taste. Savor _Cameron_.   
  
With his fingers deep inside Noel's hole, Cameron pushes him closer onto his lap, both moaning as their cocks lock together again, sliding against each other at a medium pace.  
  
It's _so_ good, feeling Cameron deep inside of him, on his tongue and on his dick. But soon the pleasure is too much and Noel pulls away from the kiss, leaning his head against Cameron’s collarbone and moans lowly. The redhead wraps his free arm tightly around Noel's waist and presses his lips against his shoulder as they keep moving against each other, while still opening Noel.  
  
Noel moans and arches his back, biting hard on his lips, when he feels his orgasm raising in his gut. He pulls away from the embrace, and Cameron seems to recognize his desperation, knows that Noel needs him deep inside him now. So he detaches his fingers and stops moving their cocks together.   
  
There is no way Noel will be satisfied with just doing this, he needs a whole lot more of Cameron tonight.   
  
As Cameron pulls Noel's face down to his to capture his lips in another slow and sloppy kiss, his thumb strokes him softly up and down his cheeks. Noel's head is spinning. He feels _loved_ and is finally able to _love_ back.   
  
_God_ , this boy is his angel of relief. This beautiful man is his.  
  
Noel lifts his weight off Cameron's lap, so that Cameron can quickly lube himself up, before Noel takes him in his hands and guides him back to his entrance, both high on endorphins then.  
  
Cameron's hooded eyes grow even darker and he begins to lick his lips in anticipation. Noel knows, he wants it, he _needs_ it. They both need their connection.  
  
He lines Cameron's cock up with his tight ring of muscle and begins sinking down on it, his mouth opening wider, the more of Cameron he has inside. Cameron's eyes are going from Noel’s deep blue's down to his own cock, watching it slowly making its way inside his lover, making Noel arch his back in pleasure, grunting and panting. They both bite down onto their bottom lips as Noel bottoms out.   
  
Shit, Noel can feel himself almost blacking out at this incredible feeling, cradling Cameron's cheeks in his hands, to have something to ground him.   
  
His face is so warm to the touch, so soft, although Cameron has a little stubble. Has he never felt something softer and more perfect before. He can't remember. His brain is reduced to the pleasure he's being given right now.  
  
Cameron dives back in to kiss at Noel’s neck, working up his jawline and chin to end at his lips again.  
  
“Noel.“ Cameron sighs, followed by a soft moan. “Please.“ he sounds deperate, so, so desperate and Noel also can‘t wait any longer so he begins to move.  
  
He throws an arm around Cameron’s neck and places his other hand on his cheek, deepening the kiss, while the redhead takes Noel's ass in both hands, knealing it and simultaneously pulling him closer and closer for more friction.  
  
They just need each other in any way they can get.  
  
”I love you.” Cameron can’t help but groan again, which causes Noel to take a shuddering breath as his hands find their way into Cam’s locks.  
  
“I love you too.” He breathes into Cam’s mouth, while rocking his hips back and forth in a steady and slow rhythm.   
  
Noel isn’t sure how the fuck he is going to last more than five seconds. Cameron's dick feels so good inside of him, the taste of his lips is the most delicious thing he has ever experienced and his words shoot straight through his body. Urging his orgasm to build faster as he begins moving a little rougher, so that Cameron's cock slides in and out, again and again, seeing white light when he closes his eyes.  
  
One soft moan follows another, but both are much quieter than usual, perhaps because the moment is so intense, so loving and pure.   
  
The quieter they are, the more they are turned on. Cameron leans up, sucking on Noel’s bottom lip, nipping at it, as Noel takes Cameron's top lip into his mouth.  
  
“You feel fucking amazing.” Cameron whispers hotly, laying his face in the crook of Noel’s neck, kissing every possible inch. Noel lets his head fall back, giving Cameron better access.  
  
Noel unwraps his legs around Cam’s waist to fold them, so he can sit on his knees, having more power to raise and sink. His muscles automatically clinch even tighter around his lover‘s cock.  
Cam cries out at the intense pleasure and starts thrusting upwards deeply, giving Noel everything he can as slowly as he can. Rocking into each other, sweat building, orgasms climbing, they are one.  
  
Cameron wraps his arms tightly around Noel's waist to steady him before biting his lip and moaning softly.  
  
Noel arches again, finding himself at the perfect angle to hit his prostate with every thrust Cameron does. The first time Cameron's cock hits it, he harshly breathes in, almost like a hiccup and he thinks he will never be able to forget this wonderful feeling. Never will he let his mind forget that. _Fuck_.   
  
They are clinging to each other, enjoying the slow and deep rhythm they‘re producing together. As the tip of Cam’s cock repeatedly massages Noel’s prostate the moans grow louder, shivering grows more noticeable, kissing becomes more sloppy and furious.  
  
“I need to cum.“ Cameron whispers and the raspy tone lets Noel know that he isn't far from the climax. Good, Noel isn't either, not after the sounds Cameron is emiting and the trembling his face produces with every thrust.   
  
Noel can’t help the groan that escapes his throat when Cameron wraps a hand around his dick, jerking it slowly and confidently to the rhythm of their movements.  
  
“So close. Fuck. So good. _Mhmm_ \--“ Noel manages to breathe out, his eyes squeezed shut to stave off his orgasm. He wants this sensation to last a bit longer and lets his head fall back into his neck, savoring every second intensely. Cameron uses this opportunity to attack his jawline and neck with sloppy kisses again, while his hips keep slamming deeply into Noel and his hand keeps stroking.  
  
Fuck, it's so much, almost too much for Noel to take. And the thought of loving this adorable man for the rest of his life only spurrs him on.  
  
With his arm around Noel’s waist, Cameron pulls them as close together as they can possibly come.

Noel pushes his lover's head away from his neck and captures his bottom lip in between his, sucking on it before letting it go with a plop.  
  
Cameron groans and strokes faster, his hips thrusting upwards as hard as he can, hitting Noel’s prostate repeatedly.  
  
Noel opens his eyes to catch the last few seconds of their amorous play. As he watches Cameron fighting for his release with eyes squeezed shut, his whole face and body trembling with lust, his mouth gaping open to let out one shuddered breath after another, the game is over for him.  
  
He spills his load out and over their chests. He chlenches hard on Cameron's cock, pushing him finally over the edge too. They’re completely silent, holding tight onto each other and breathing into their mouths, as they ride out their orgasms, Cameron releasing deep into Noel.  
  
Noel lets his forehead rest against Cameron's, as he tries to catch his breath again, inhaling the sweet scent of Cameron's after sex smell. Probably one of Noel's favorite things in the world.  
  
The redhead keeps his eyes closed, as he lifts his head a bit, to nuzzle their noses together. It's such a nice touch and suddenly Noel feels loved all over.  
  
“I'm curious, if married sex can top this!“ Cameron smiles, making Noel laugh out loud.  
  
“I'd probably say no, if you didn't always prove that black is white!“ Noel chuckles, before going down for another kiss, where they let their tongues explore their mouths softly, both still high from the emotional sex they just experienced together.  
  
Noel feels Cameron's dick getting limp inside of him, but as always doesn't want him to pull out. He wants to savor the feeling of the hot liquid inside of him, because it makes him realize that this is real. This night is real and Noel is now engaged to Cameron fucking Monaghan.   
  
Holy shit.  
  
He breaks the kiss and can't help the goofy smile spreading from ear to ear. Cameron looks up and finds himself smiling back at him.  
  
“You make me so happy.“ Noel whispers, stroking Cameron's hair back with both hands. Cameron's smile grows bigger and brighter, and he puts his thumb on Noel's chin, to guide him back down for a short peck on his lips.  
  
“And I'll do it for the rest of my life.“ Cameron promises.  
  
This is love, Noel thinks. This beautiful man beneath him, holding onto him so tightly, kissing him so passionately. His best friend, his rock, his lover.  
  
His future.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'You happy now?' ;P
> 
> Thank you for leaving comments and/or kudos!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad that I could make you happy again with the last chapter :)
> 
> After I let them suffer for so long, they definitely need a break now! So a lot of fluff and smut for you.
> 
> Enjoy <3

(CAMERON'S POV)  
  
His breath hitches, he can hear himself moaning, but isn't able to consider where this pleasure is coming from. It's dark and Cameron feels tired. But there is this prickling feeling spreading from his gut all over his body, making him shiver. From second to second his moans get louder, the pleasure almost too much. This can't be a dream.  
  
Suddenly he feels it. The wet and warm hole around his rock hard dick, bobbing up and down again and again. A tongue swirling around the head of his cock, licking and sucking the precum out of his slit.  
  
A moan. Not his. But it's definitely the sexiest voice he has ever heard. He knows who it belongs to. It can only be...  
  
He opens his eyes, and is proven right.  
  
...the love of his life. Peering with deep blue eyes and a smile around his cock at him.  
  
Cameron wants to say something like 'Good morning', but the only thing coming from his mouth are groans he can't hold back. He won't either, so he lets them slip out, filling the room with lustful noises. When Noel is willing to give him so much pleasure by waking him up that way, he'll show him how much he enjoys it, how good he makes him feel. Moan after moan.  
  
Cameron props himself up on his elbows to watch Noel working, as he lays naked between Cameron's legs. He is pretty sure that it‘s the most beautiful sight he has ever laid eyes on. He savors the sight, and recalls it in his mind the moment he lets his head fall back with closed eyes, while another soft moan escapes his parted lips.  
  
“Noel...“ he breathes, enjoying how his fiancé works his tongue around his cock. He is licking wetly up and down his shaft, before bringing one hand to the base of his erection and pumping him simultaneously to the sucking.  
  
“Mhmmm.“ Noel's raspy voice is turning him on so fucking much, but he tries to supress the heat rising in his gut. He wants to last a bit longer. After two weeks of steady worrying about Noel leaving him, he now wants to get lost in the happiness he's feeling inside of him since Noel said 'yes' to his proposal yesterday.   
  
He's engaged to this beautiful and gorgeous brunet man between his legs. Fuck. Can life get any better?  
  
Cam can't believe his luck, can't believe that Noel finally seems to be happy again. After seeing him struggling for so long, it‘s now so good to see his smile back on this wonderful face, dancing around his thick and lustful pout. And it’s not the fake smile he is giving him. _No_. It’s the real and absolutely stunning Noel smile that makes his heart race and the butterflies in his stomach fly around.  
  
He needs to last, needs to feel every second intensely, because _damn_ has he missed the feeling of having the _real_ Noel around him.  
  
The emotional sex they shared yesterday, was amazing. Being inside his lover makes him strong and complete. It gives him the feeling of belonging to him, to _own_ him a little. Even when he pushes inside him, the thought that no one has ever been there before, makes him shiver with pleasure. Noel is his and he is Noel's.  
  
Yesterday Cam showed him with his words that he is Noel‘s. Today he wants to show him with his body. Noel owns him. He owns his whole fucking heart and his body. Noel should be able to feel the pleasure he is given every time they have sex.   
  
Cameron forces himself to breathe, while the tip of Noel's tongue circles the head of his cock.   
  
“Noel...“ he starts again, but isn't strong enough to bring the whole sentence out of his mouth.   
  
Noel licks a flat stripe down his shaft and around his balls. Cameron aches his back. Damn, it won't take long to fill Noel's mouth with his release, but no. He needs more.  
  
God, he needs so much more of this man. His hunger can never be satisfied. Luckily he has his whole life to still it from time to time.  
  
“Noel, I... _aah_ \- I.. I.. _aah_ -“ is all he gets out. But then Noel stops, licking up his shaft once more, before letting go of his cock, while one hand keeps stroking him softly.  
  
Cameron's head shoots back up and he stares him directly in the eyes, smiling when he sees the lustblown face of his partner.  
  
“I want you to fuck me!“ he is finally able to say. And the way Noel looks at him now, Cameron can tell that his lover hadn't expected this.  
  
He just looks surprised and speechless, his mouth gaping open, without making a sound. Is it too much for Noel?  
  
“I mean...only if you want to!“ Cameron adds stuttering, a little scared that he might have frightened his love. Maybe he should have talked to him before, told him that he‘s thought about it a lot recently.   
  
But then Noel finally nods. “Yeah, I mean... of course I want to. Sorry, I'm just surprised that you want it now, that's all.“ Noel mumbles, letting go of Cameron's dick and coming up to meet his lips in a hungry kiss.  
  
Cameron feels the prickling in his whole body again as he slings his arms around Noel's back, bringing him closer.  
  
“I want you to own me, my _body._ It’s yours. I belong to you. No one else but you, Noel.“ Cameron explains through hot and sloppy kisses, feeling Noel's hard dick twitching in the flesh of his right thigh. 

He never was much of a romantic talker. But with Noel it all bubbles out of him easily. The words are honest, he doesn’t have to think about them.  
  
“You belong to me, like I belong to you. _Forever_.“ Noel confirms and attaches their lips again.  
  
Cameron slides one hand down between them and guides Noel's dick onto his, before he grabs his ass with both hands and starts pushing him back and forth for some friction. Both moan loudly at the contact, enjoying the rubbing of their tongues and dicks together for some moments.  
  
“Fuck me Noel. _Please_.“ Cameron whispers hotly into Noel's mouth, who nods with lust flooded eyes and grabs the lube from the drawer beside the bed.  
  
Noel kisses his way down his chest and when he reaches his sternum, he starts to lick wetly down to his dick, taking Cameron's leaking, hard cock into his mouth again. Cameron sighs, his body shivering in anticipation, as he loses himself in the moment. He is overwhelmed by emotions and forces himself to lay his head back and breathe deeply.

He is jarred out of his reverie when he hears the familiar click of the lube top popping. He can feel himself getting nervous at that, but he trusts Noel one hundred percent, and he needs him right now.  
  
“Try to relax, okay?“ Noel mumbles, slicking up his fingers. He brings Cameron's cock back into his mouth and starts to swirl his wet finger gently around Cameron's tight ring of muscles. Cam's breath hitches at the pending intrusion, his hole clenching.   
  
“Shhh..." Noel soothes from around Cam's cock causing the redhead's body to shudder.  
  
Cameron can feel Noel sucking harder on his dick, guessing that this has to be a diversion tactic. It works. He relaxes a little and Noel slowly inches his index finger into Cameron's tight hole.  
  
_Fuck_.  
  
Cameron's breath stutters and he lets out a low groan as Noel fingers him slowly. He arches his back and tries to get used to the feeling of having something inside of him. _Someone_. His love, who continues to carefully loosen Cameron, adding a second and then third finger when he can feel he is ready. The redhead is moaning louder and louder as the burning sensation subsides and gives way to pleasure.  
  
Noel's fingers slide rhythmically in and out, matching the pace his head bobs up and down Cameron's cock. Cam can notice his gut tightening, his breathing getting shallower, the pleasure expanding all over his body. Noel pushes him closer and closer to the edge.  
  
“Need you inside me!“ Cameron practically whines, pulling at Noel shoulders to indicate that he needs him above and inside of him.  
  
Noel let's go of Cameron's dick and pulls his fingers out of his ass, scooting above him. The younger man suddenly feels strangely empty, and pushes Noel's ass, to get his dick closer to his hole. He wants to feel him right fucking now.  
  
Noel grins with satisfaction, “Slowly, tiger!“ He pumps his hard cock a few times as Cam's blown out eyes watch him with unadulterated lust.  
  
His boyfriend lines up to his hole and then finally pushes into him slowly. It burns, but in a strangely good way. Noel only makes it halfway before he feels resistance and holds on. The abrupt stop isn't what Cameron wants. He needs everything of Noel at this moment.

He is moaning underneath him, his eyes shutting at the sensation of feeling Noel. "Keep going." Cameron urges, his voice wrecked.  
  
"Hey, let me take care of my fiancé. You need to relax.“ Noel whispers leaning down to kiss Cameron. Cam sighs into his partner's mouth, feeling his own cock twitch by hearing Noel say this. He needs to breathe, otherwise he may cum from just the endearment. He forces himself to pull his mouth away from Noel's so he can take a deep breath and keep it together.  
  
Noel moves his lips down to Cameron's neck so he can suck a mark into his pale skin as he continues to push into Cam's tightness. He shimmies his hips a little to stretch Cameron out and urge his body to give him space.  
  
The pain from the stretching subsides, but the feeling of being full of Noel stays. And it's nothing less than an incredible good feeling. Noel owns him. He belongs to Noel, with all his body and soul.  
  
The younger man is filling the room with a chorus of moans, and he notices that this is turning Noel on.  
  
"Holy shit." Noel rasps against Cameron's skin as he bottoms out. He lifts his lips off of Cam and straightens up so both can see each other's face. But Cameron's eyes are practically rolled back in his head at this time and he bites his bottom lip hard, to hold himself from exploding.  
  
“You okay?“ Noel asks worried, combing with his fingers through Cameron's hair.  
  
Of course he is okay. He feels damn lucky to have such a loving partner at his side. He knows that Noel will always pay attention to him, will never hurt him intentionally. He knows he can trust him completely, like Noel trusts Cameron everytime he lets him inside.  
  
“Yeah“ he breathes, opening his eyes to reassure Noel that he's fine. He has the love of his life hovering above him, he doesn’t need more. “Fuck me. _Slow._ “ he adds and Noel presses another quick kiss on his lips, before he starts to slowly roll his hips, letting his dick slip in and out, careful of his loved redhead.  
  
"Mhmmm... shit, Noel." is all Cameron can muster, while he feels himself relaxing more and more with every soft thrust. He recognizes how anxious Noel is about hurting him, and starts moving together with him, showing him, that he‘s enjoying this as well.  
  
And _fuck_ , is he enjoying this! Being full of Noel is like the last piece of the puzzle, the perfection their sex has been missing. They will have to switch from now on more often.  
  
“Jesus Cam, you're so tight - _aaah_ \- I won't last long!“ Noel moans, leaning down to crash his lips onto Cameron's again.   
  
“It's okay! Just...“ Cameron breathes hotly in Noel's mouth, but is cut off by a loud groan coming from his throat, as Noel shifts his weight and hits his prostate.  
  
“ _FUCK_! There, right there!“ he manages to yelp between gasps.   
  
Noel sighs, letting his head rest onto Cam’s forehead and watches his cock moving in and out of Cameron. He picks up his pace a little, his eyes fixed on Cameron's body that‘s absorbing him so perfectly.  
  
Their movements make a perfect friction between their stomachs and Cameron can feel his balls tightening. He knows he isn't far from falling over the edge.  
  
He lets out cry after cry, when Noel hits his prostate steadily. He feels his body shaking, and doesn't know for how long he can take this sensation anymore. Noel is relentless as he presses against his sweet spot with each slow, deep thrust, Cameron still meeting him halfway in his movements.  
  
“Oh god!“ Noel bites his lips and looks back up into Cameron's eyes. The desperate look on his lover's face, seems to beg for release. Noel's facial expressions, the noises he emits, the rubbing of his own dick between their sticky skin and the constant pressure on his prostate is finally too much for him to take any longer.  
  
He shuts his eyes, keening under him, his moans increasing with Noel's speed. He croons, grabbing onto the sheets beside him as Noel gives one last jab to his prostate and he reaches his climax. His whole body starts to spasm. He can feel the warmth of the load he shoots between their chests and forces himself to open his eyes again, to see what the contraction of his hole is doing to his fiancé.  
  
“Oh _shit_!“ Noel screams, increasing the pace of his thrusts shortly, before he cries out the most delicious moan Cameron has ever heard and fills him up with his cum.  
  
He collapses onto Cameron, still thrusting unregulated, his breathing combined with some moans. It's taking Cameron's breath away how Noel is flooded with lust and pleasure. Cameron gets the feeling of reaching his climax again just from seeing this and the feeling of Noel's warmth deep inside of him. His cock pulsates and everything in his pelvis starts prickling again, seeing Noel still on the high of his orgasm, knitting his brows while his mouth gapes open without breathing.  
  
Cameron doesn't know if the feeling inside his gut is pain or pleasure, but it drives him insane, and he feels some more white ribbons shooting out of his cock. He aches his back and whimpers, still moving in sync with Noel as they ride out their phenomenal orgasms.  
  
" _Fuck._ " Cameron groans, wrapping his hand around Noel's neck and pulling him down to kiss him passionately. They are both still panting and twitching through aftershocks.   
  
Cameron is the one who breaks it after some moments of enjoying the weight of Noel's tongue on his. “That was amazing!“ he mewes, looking up at Noel expectantly. He can see the brunet blushing and damn, if it isn't the cutest thing on earth.  
  
“It definitely was! Love being inside of you.“ Noel says, but instead of staying deep inside of him, he pulls out slowly, making Cameron once again feel strange at the sudden emptiness. Noel lays on his back beside him, reaching for some paper tissues to help Cameron clean up.  
  
“Love having you inside of me.“ Cameron reassures him, turning on his side to face Noel and press a soft kiss onto his lips. “Love the feeling of your cum.“ he adds in a low and raspy voice, kissing down Noel's jawline, who hums in agreement.  
  
“That was pretty intense. After taking instead of giving for so long, it's crazy to have such a tight ass around me. But fuck if it's not one of the best feelings ever. Love your ass!“ Noel smirks, turning to face Cameron and grab his ass to underline his words.  
  
“Yeah? Better than getting fucked?“ Cameron questions, hoping that Noel doesn’t decide to be a top from now on. No matter how terrific the sex was right now, nothing is comparable to the feeling of being buried deep inside the love of his life.   
  
“Not better, just different. But I _love_ having you inside of me, so don't get too used to being the bottom all the time.“ Noel replies and darts his tongue out.  
  
Both chuckle, but the mood soon shifts to a more serious one, when Noel raises his hand to look at the ring on his finger.  
  
“You like it?“ Cameron asks shyly, knowing that the ring is nothing special, but when he bought it, he thought that Noel wouldn't want something eye-catching.   
  
“It's perfect.“ It's not more than a breath coming from Noel, but it's pure and Cameron gets the emotion out of his words. Love and happiness. This was all he wanted Noel to feel.  
  
“Take it off your finger!“ Cameron orders. Noticing the confused look Noel is giving him. He hesitates.  
“Come on, take it off! Thought you'd see it right after I proposed to you, but well...something happened instead.“ Cameron smiles, thinking about the great sex they shared yesterday.  
  
Noel carefully slips it off his finger and looks at it accurately. It's then, when Noel squints his eyes, Cameron knows that he has found it. A smile spreads over Noel's face and he huffs out a laugh.  
  
“You're under my skin, man“ Noel reads the engraved words inside the ring out loud.  
  
“Loved that Mickey line. It's just so them and it's just so us. It's how I feel.“ Cameron whispers quietly and stares into the blue eyes he fell for a few months ago.   
  
Noel smiles again and leans forward to press his lips on Cameron's. “It's how I feel too.“ he mumbles into the kiss, but suddenly stops abruptly, raising his eyebrows as if he‘s considering something strained.  
  
“What?“ Cameron questions, somehow knowing by Noel's expression, that he's going to say something rubbish.  
  
“'Don‘t, 'What you and I have makes me free', 'Sorry I’m late', 'You’re under my skin man'“ Noel utters, gestulating with his hands in front of his face. “We should talk to the writers, to get your own cool line. I mean... _come on_. Seven seasons of Shameless, and you need to quote my character?“ Noel smirks teasingly.   
  
“Fuck off!“ Cameron laughs and shoves him playfully. “You can give it back, if you're discontented!“ he challanges.  
  
But the moment the words slip out of his mouth, Noel puts the ring back on his finger. “Forget it! You'll never see me without it again.“ Noel says happily, pulling the blanket over their bodies and himself.  
  
What a great start in the morning.

  
  
  
  
“I'm so excited!“ Cameron jarrs, cleaning up the kitchen after their dinner.  
  
They stayed the whole day on the beach, just relaxing and enjoying each other’s presence. From time to time they smiled at each other goofily, when one of them remembered, that this isn't a fucking dream and they are really engaged now.  
  
They haven't talked about the wedding a lot, but they agreed to not rush things. Cameron made a statement with his proposal, a statement Noel so desperately needed: He's staying. He's not going to leave. _Never._ He loves him. And he'll marry him. _Someday_.  
  
Someday, when they come out of the closet, when Noel's parents accept Cameron as the new partner for their son. When their relationship is a little more settled. Then Cam is going to marry the hell out of his gorgeous lover. Until then, there is no need to hurry with preparations.   
  
“Yeah, yeah, me too! I think the internet is going to explode after this episode!“ Noel agrees, helping his boyfriend with the dishes.  
  
“Yeah, we'll see! Can't wait for the reactions!“ Cameron's excited voice echos through the living room, while he digs inside a cupboard. “Chips or Popcorn?“ He holds both packets for Noel to choose up.  
  
“Chips and beer please.“ Noel says and makes himself comfortable on the couch.   
  
They want to share this sunday evening unstressed at the beachhouse, before heading back to their apartment tomorrow morning and starting with their work again. They both need to expand this (in the end) beautiful weekend with some more cuddling and kissing time. Cameron tries to memorize every little touch of Noel for times they may be apart from each other. And for tonight, he made the decision to never let go of him while cuddling on the couch infront of the tv.  
  
Shameless season 7 episode 10 is airing tonight for the first time on Fox. It's the episode in which Ian and Mickey see each other after a long time again. The tension is enormous and of course it leads to kissing and fucking, a _lot_ of kissing and fucking.

Cameron remembers, what this episode means to him. It's not only that he's happy for Ian to see the love of his life again. It's also the episode with which everything had started between Noel and him. _Damn_ , it's a fucking good episode and both are extremely nervous about how Gallavich fans are going to react. They have so much hope in Mickey's come back, and both of them don't want their fans to be disappointed.  
  
Cam and Noel find themselves nestled up together on the couch in the living room, 'The walking dead' episode coming to an end on the flat screen in front of them. The sun has already gone down, turning the house into dark. Besides the noises of the tv, there are only soft sounds of waves waft filling the rooms. Both are sitting close to each other on the couch, Cam's legs are spread lengthwise and Noel's are bent close to his body. Their fingers are interwined, resting on Noel's knee.  
  
The warmth and softness of Noel's hands lets Cameron calm down for a little bit. Though he’s still nervous about watching this episode with Noel. They've never been together while Shameless showed. Especially an episode, in which they make out almost the whole time. In a few minutes they will know how they look like when they are kissing in real life now, and somehow it's a little awkward for Cameron.   
  
He takes a deep breath as the opening credits start and can feel Noel shifting beside him. He's nervous too, which is a little cute though.  
  
“Okay, here we go!“ Noel says, raising his beer in Cameron's direction and drowning a few gulps, before he stares magnetized on the screen.  
  
Cameron however, peers for the first minutes only onto his lover's thrilled face, smilingly. This is forever going to be his favorite episode.  
  
  


  
“This goodbye?“ Mickey asks, his head dropping, before staring outside the front window of the car.

Ian lets some moments pass, thinking one last time about the decision he is going to make. He turns his face to Mickey, opening the door on the passenger's side and hops in.

“Let's ride!“ he retorts, before a happy smile spreads over both of their lips. Mickey puts his sunglasses back on and they drive into an open road, an (for this episode) open future.   
  
“BOOM!“ Noel let's out an excited yelp and turns his head to face Cameron. They pound their fists, as if they are exploding like a bomb.  
  
“That's what describes this episode the most. I'm tweeting this, hold on!“ Cameron smiles and takes his phone, typing the word 'BOOM' on his Twitter account, referring it to Noel's account. The older one lets out a chuckle and twitters 'BOOM' back, linking it with Cameron's profile.

God, they are like teenagers, but Cameron would lie if he’d say, that he doesn’t enjoy fooling about with Noel.  
  
The reactions of their fans come immediately, all of them happy to see them back together, complimenting them on their great acting.  
  
“What an awesome episode!“ Noel refers, still high on endorphines.   
  
“Yeah, our best!“ Cameron agrees, bringing one arm to wrap around Noel’s middle, pulling him closer against him.  
  
Noel crawls into Cameron's lap, tangling his arms around his neck and leaning down for a long and soft kiss.  
  
“How about expanding that boat scene? Showing me what Ian did with Mickey?“ Noel whispers into Cameron's ears, causing goosebumps to spread over his whole body.  
  
Oh yeah, this will definitely be the best episode for Cameron from now on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mhmm.. love to make our boys happy! :)
> 
> How did you like the sex switch? :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow, I am so lucky to have such wonderful readers! Thanks for your constant support :)
> 
> And a special thanks to LuckyShaz, for editing every single chapter! You're the best *mwah*
> 
> As always - ENJOY :)

The reactions are amazing. Cameron's and Noel's phones haven't stop buzzing since episode 10 aired. Their family and friends are calling to congratulate them on their good job. Not to mention that their Twitter, Facebook and Instagram accounts seem to explode with tagged photos and videos from screenshots of their reunion. The fans are excited, but also worried about the upcoming episode. Noel and Cameron know it will break a lot of hearts. They can literally see their accounts exploding even more after the next episode and the shitstorm John Wells will have to go through. But that's showbiz - that's their job. And even if Cameron wants Ian and Mickey's story to end better, it's still his job to act as the script is written. This means letting Mickey cross the boarder.  
  
“Mum this is awkward, I'm not going to discuss this with you!“ Cameron chuckles, his phone pressed between his ear and shoulder while he’s putting on his wristwatch.  
  
“I just said I understand your bond better now. I mean, if the sparks flying the same in real life as they do on screen, then you are a lucky man Cameron!“ his mum reassures him and it really makes him happy to hear that. Hard enough that Noel's parents aren't supporting their relationship, but it would be much more difficult if none of their family was accepting.  
  
“I really am!“ he confirms softly, walking into the home office of his apartment where Noel is sitting on a chair, studying lines for his role in 'The long road home'. Cameron comes to a stand still behind him and strokes his hair.  
  
“I'm so proud of you honey! Not only because you are an amazing actor, but you have also grown into a brave young and handsome man, who's not afraid of loving the one for whom his heart beats for. Even if it may be hard for others to accept.“ she praises him, making his heart swell with joy as he looks down at his hard working man, his fingers still fumbling in dark hair.  
  
“No mum, loving him is easy!“ Cameron mumbles, leaning down to place a quick kiss on Noel's head.  
  
This sentence seems to grab his lover's attention and he looks up with his beautiful big blue eyes and a soft smile on his wonderful thick red lips. He loops his arms back around Cameron's waist and guides him down for a lovely kiss.  
  
If his mother's voice wouldn't go on telling him how sweet this declaration was, he would give in to his weak knees and melt to Noel's touch. He should think that after months of kissing and fumbling of any kind, his body should be used to Noel's touches but _no,_ not at all. Everytime is like the first time. Sparks run through him, sending waves of electricity to every cell in his body. Lighting fireworks in his chest, making it hard for him to breathe.  
  
He definitely is the luckiest guy on earth, being allowed to love Noel for the rest of their lives. He can't wait to show _everyone_ , that they belong to each other. No, he suddenly can't wait for the day they get married.  
  
“Cameron?“ the sound of his mother wakes him from his daydream, where he was picturing Noel and himself standing in elegant tuxes infront of an altar.  
  
“Huh?“ he questions, pulling back from the lips he loves the most.  
  
“I asked, if Noel and you are free for dinner anytime soon? I would love to see you two love birds again!“ she says, and Cameron can literally hear her smiling through the phone.  
  
“Yeah, of course. That would be great. Maybe thursday next week?“ Cameron asks, looking into Noel's questioning eyes.  
  
“Great! Let's talk before! Tell Noel I said hi. Love you. Bye!“  
  
“Bye mum, love you too!“ he answers and ends the call, before leaning down again and capturing Noel's lips in a soulful kiss. _This taste._ Better than any drug.  
  
Cameron is the one who breaks it. “My mum wants to meet us for dinner next week. I thought it would be great, if we could tell her about our engagement together?“ His voice is soft, reluctant, careful not to overstrain Noel, because they haven't spoken about the announcement of their engagement yet.  
  
Noel takes his hands from Cameron's waist and scratches his head. “Uh.. sure!“ he smiles at Cameron, but there is this half hearted smile again, that makes Cameron's hair stand on end.  
  
He turns the swivel chair with Noel in it around, parting his lover's legs and kneeling down between them. If he has learnt something from those horrible two weeks, in which Noel seemed to slip through his fingers, then it is to bring even the hardest issues up, before they crash down.  
  
He draws soothing cicles with his thumb onto Noel's thighs, looking deeply into his eyes. “If you don't want to tell her, it's okay. We don't have to shout it from the rooftops yet.“ It's Cam‘s priority to make Noel happy, to find their own way into a stable and long term relationship, together. They promised to marry each other someday, but it doesn't need to be now. It's okay to come out step by step and take things slow, if this is what Noel wants. Because the only thing Cameron wants is Noel. Married or not.  
  
“No, it's not that.. It's just..“ Noel's voice breaks, and Cameron can see some tears filling his eyes. All of a sudden it hits him, from where this sorrow is coming from.  
  
“You haven't spoken to your mum since that day?“ he asks hesitantly, knowing that what happened in Vancouver has left deep scars in Noel's mind.  
  
His partner nods as his palms rub the coming tears away. “Yeah... I mean, she calls constantly, but I can't bring myself to pick up. I don't wanna hear her voice, don't wanna know what she wants to tell me.“ he cofesses. “I don't wanna answer her questions about Layla or us. I'm afraid what her words will do to me again.“ Noel tells him, his voice fragile and thin. But he manages to blink the tears away, doesn't want to cry over the same old topic again.  
  
“Noel, you don't have to be afraid. You should know by now, that I won't leave, that I _can‘t_ leave. You'll have to deal with my pale ass forever.“ Cameron promises. Taking a deep breath, he adds: “And also, if you're sure about us, then there's no need to be afraid of her words! They might hurt, yeah, but they can't tear us apart! Never let that happen again.“ Cameron reassures him, stroking his thighs with more fervor. Trying to point out the importance of his message.  
  
Noel leans down and kisses him softly, his hands cupping Cameron's cheeks, while his thumb caresses the skin of his jawline. Cameron reciprocates immediately, opening his mouth for Noel's tongue to enter. Cameron feels a tightening in his gut when their tongues touch, but reminds himself that this talk is important, _too_ important. He moves back, before it leads to having unbelieveably good sex again.  
  
Noel blinks his eyes open to lock his gaze with Cameron. “You know I'm 100% sure about us too. It just brings back the memories of Layla and our announcement. My parents were so happy and excited and I just know they won't be now. I don't wanna tell them about it, because I don't wanna be dragged down by them. I feel like the luckiest guy on earth to be able to call you my boyfriend, my _fiancé_ , and I'm totally excited about the fact that we are going to marry someday. I just want to _celebrate_ this with the people I love, want them to be happy for me. For _us_.“ The words seem to burst out of Noel, like they’ve been hidden for too long inside of him. And Cameron is contented that Noel is opening up. It's progress.  
  
“Then let's do this! Let's invite our friends to the beachhouse next weekend, where we’ll tell them about the engagement and celebrate it! We could invite our castmembers, maybe Tom and Ashley as well, and have some BBQ before we party the whole night! You could invite some friends of yours too, or your sister. You know she always has your back!“ Cameron says, getting up from his knees to show his enthusiasm about this idea.  
  
Noel stands up from his chair too, wrapping his arms around Cameron's neck at the same moment the redhead grabs Noel's hips to bring him closer. Their shared look is deep and intense, a smile dancing on both of their lips.  
  
Noel nods. “Okay, let's do it then!“ Cameron just stares at the beautiful blue of his eyes, that are surrounded by the cutest laughing lines he has ever seen in his life. Noel nuzzles their noses together, before pulling Cameron down for a quick kiss.  
  
“Noel-“ Cameron detaches his lips from his lover’s. He is looking down at his partner, who's eyes are still closed, but he hums, as if he's still engulfed by the magic of their kiss. “Talk to your mum.“ He starts courageously.“Maybe she wants to apologize, maybe not. But you'll never know if you don't listen to her. I promise to help you deal with everything she might throw our way. But don't be afraid, don't shut it out because it won't help either. We'll deal with it. _Together_.“ Cameron promises and has Noel looking up at his words. Cameron can see a few tears brimming over his eyes again, but the moment he wants to kiss them away, he is pulled down for another kiss. Noel's teeth nibble at his bottom lip, before his tongue slides across it. Their mouths open and close in a peaceful rhythm they create together. It's not heated, but passionate.  
  
“Make a reservation at 'Holiday Inn' for next Thursday.“ Noel whispers hotly into the kiss, indicating that he's ready to at least tell Cameron's mum. And this is more than Cameron will ask for now.  
  
  
  
  
Noel has an important meeting for his upcoming project 'The long road home' today. That's why he can't help Cameron with the preparations for their BBQ with their friends. While Noel is talking to the parents of Thomas Young, the character he's portraying in the Iraq war drama, Cameron puts up some beer tables and benches on the beach near the sea. He trims them with white tablecloths and candles in colorful glasses, marinates the meat and veggies for the grill and puts everything in the house back in order, before the guests and Noel start arriving.  
  
They haven't spoken in detail about the way to tell them today, they just thought about blurting it out when Cameron welcomes them with a little speech. But a little improvisation has never hurt anyone. At least not an actor.  
  
Cameron pokes with his spade through the coals, bringing the grill to life. He can already hear the first cars pulling in the driveway and notices how his pulse begins to rise. He looks at his watch, 5pm. Noel wanted to be there at 6pm, so there is no need to freak out one hour too early.  
  
He heads inside the house, throws the apron on the kitchen counter and takes some beer out of the fridge just as his guests are ringing the doorbell.  
  
“Coming!“ he yells, taking a big gulp and making his way to the entrance where he welcomes Emma, Ethan, William and Felicity his wife, first. A lot of hugs and kisses are shared, before he sees Emmy, Shanola and Isidora approaching them.  
  
Cameron is so immersed in welcoming everyone, giving them something to drink and showing them around the house, that he doesn't even recognize that time is moving fast.  
  
Everyone is here, Steve, Jeremy, Ruby and Elliot. Ashley and Tom who also showed up, complete the guest list. Except of Noel, who texted Cameron some minutes ago, that he's on his way.  
  
“Wow! The view is priceless.“ Emmy states, looking out into the sea with a lot of boats passing by.  
  
Cameron joins her from behind, letting their beer bottles clink together and draping one arm around her shoulder. “Yeah, that's what I love about here the most!“ he confesses.  
  
“This is a place I would want to spend the rest of my life with the one I love.“ she tells him, sounding a little melancholic. “You know, our work never gives us a rest, heading from here to there, it's hard to call one place 'your home.'“ she goes on, sighing deeply. “But when I settle down sometime, I wanna do it in a place like this and make it my home.“  
  
Cameron gets pensive, thinking about her words that he can't deny are true. There is a lot of stress in his job, but he knew it from the beginning that it would be like this. And Emmy did too for sure. But even if you know it and accept it as a part of your career, you sometimes wish you'd have more time for the ones you love. At least Cameron wishes, he'd have more time with Noel, because for him, he can't get ever enough of it.  
  
He enjoyed his last weekend here with Noel, it had been peaceful and balanced. It was like they were far away from any stress, living their own dream. He agrees with Emmy. Sometime in the future, it is the place he wants to settle down with Noel.  
  
Making them something to eat in _this_ kitchen, shower themselves in _this_ bathroom, cuddling together on _this_ couch, watching some movies on _this_ tv, swimming in _this_ sea and sleeping together in _this_ bed. _Fuck_ , this is going to be his anchor from now on. When there will be something dragging him down, he'll think about the way they are going to spend their lifes together someday, and it will help him to go through it.  
  
Until then, he will carry _his_ home with him as often as possible, because _Noel_ is his home.   
  
“Yo, Noel!“ Jeremy's screaming snaps him out of his thoughts and he turns around to see Noel walking up on them, wearing a grey skinny jean and a dark blue t-shirt. Cameron doesn't know if anything more beautiful in this world exists for him.  
  
His body has never reacted to anything in the way it reacts to Noel. His breath is literally gone, his bloodstream is pumping at an insane rate, his throat shrivels, his mind wipes itself off of the face of the planet.  
  
“Wow, I hope Sam will look at me like this, when I‘m striding to the altar!“ Emmy says, before Cameron realizes she‘s staring at him, a dreamy smile on her lips. He can see it from the corner of his eyes and smiles back, but can't take his eyes off Noel who’s greeting everyone.

“I'll look at him like this.“ he whispers, more to himself than to her, and the moment he wants to add the word 'forever', which would have changed the meaning of the sentence for a bit, he can hear her screeching excitedly.

 “YOU ARE GOING TO MARRY HIM?“ most of the attention is suddenly on them. And if someone hasn't recognized Emmy's declaration yet, they now notice that those who did, are silently staring at Cameron, waiting for him to explain. It's like a domino effect, everyone quietening in a few seconds. Only Shanola stares at Noel, waiting for his reaction since he was standing beside her when Emmy did the announcement for them.  
  
Cameron can feel his cheeks glowing. Biting hard on his lips, his eyes are search for help in Noel's. As soon as his partner locks his gaze, a pleasant warmth spreads through his body, giving him the needed courage. He sees a smile tugging at the corner of Noel's lips and takes it as a sign to tell them now. But as the words start to form in his mind, he sees Shanola taking Noel's left hand and then starts to scream, showing the ring on Noel's finger around.  
  
The domino effect happens again, now making everyone scream instead of quietening them. Cameron is suddenly pulled into a tight hug by Emmy. “That true?“ she asks, because Noel and him haven't been able to say a single word about it before.

“Yeah.“ he breathes, nuzzling his head in her shoulders and inhaling the moment of pure happiness.   
  
Seeing his friends acclaiming their engagement, pulling Cameron and Noel into one deep hug after another and wishing them all the best, makes him feel light and free. Even Ruby is there to congratulate him. You can call yourself a lucky guy, when you have friends like this who never judged Noel's and his relationship even for a second, but instead always supported them.  
  
Finally Noel walks up to him, since they haven't had the chance to say hello to each other, before this all happened. His smile is one of those that make Cameron's knees go weak and he savors his happy look quickly, before he is pulled into a soft kiss. Noel's hands cup his face and caress his cheeks. Cameron grabs him by the waist to hold him close, opening his mouth to reciprocate and melt his tongue with Noel's.  
  
He can notice flashlights coming from everywhere around them, before the applause und jubilation gets quieter and he loses himself in the scent of summer. The only way he can describe Noel's scent.  
  
  
  
  
“So your families already know?“ Tom asks, looking in Cameron and Noel's direction across the table, while chewing on his medium rare steak.   
  
Cameron looks at his plate, letting one hand wander onto Noel's thigh to soothe him, because this is still a tensing issue. “No, you are the first! We'll tell them the next time we meet.“ he answers for them.  
  
“Wow, that's so great! They'll be so excited!“ Isadora remarks, poking with her fork in the salad and Cameron notices Noel's head dropping shortly beside him.  
  
“Have you thought about telling the media, coming out publicly?“ Ethan questions, wanting to know how they as friends should react if someone asks about them.   
  
“Well... we have talked about that and came to the conclusion that, it would be better not to come out to the public until Shameless is over. Could be bad for the quotes.“ Noel explains, taking another sip of the beer infront of him.  
  
“What?! I think the opposite would be the case! You know the fans love you, right? They would be head over heels if they knew that you are a couple!“ Emma says.  
  
William chuckles. “Maybe it would _help_ getting viewers who miss Mickey back! Would be great to film some more seasons!“ he remarks.  
  
“Yeah, but shouldn't people watch Shameless because of the show? Or for my sake, let them watch because of Gallavich, but not Cameron's and my personal life?“ Noel questions, earning some nods in the table.  
  
“But you _do_ know, that the fans love you and won't turn away just because you're gay, right?“ Jeremy asks them with raised eyebrows.  
  
“How can you be sure?“ Cameron questions back.  
  
Now it's Steve's turn to answer that question. “Because they are _fans_. If they drop you, they aren't real fans. Guess it could only be a few, who may turn away. So don't hide forever just because of that. I can understand the Shameless arguement somehow, but don't stay in the closet forever! You'd miss the huge amount of love thrown your way, at least from all Gallavich shippers!“  
  
“Hell yeah, if I'd got a penny everytime fans come and talk to me about Gallavich, I'd be so rich now!“ Emmy smirks.  
  
“You are rich, bitch!“ Shanola throws in, making all of them giggle.  
  
“Yeah, but it's Gallavich. It's Ian and Mickey, not us!“ Noel explains and Cameron remembers their talk about it. It's more Noel's wish than his to hide from the public. And although he couldn't really tell Cameron why he wants it to be like that, Cameron knows.   
  
Noel loves his fans, and the fans love him. He is afraid to disappoint even more people he cares about. It already seems his parents doesn't have his back, it would be even harder if the whole world didn't.  
  
Shanola speaks up again. “Okay, but Ian and Mickey are portrayed by _you_! _You_ make them real, _you_ give them faces and voices, and it wouldn't be _this_ Ian and _this_ Mickey, if it weren't you. So what I want to say is, that people love the Ian and Mickey from _Cameron_ and _Noel_. They will love a Cameron and Noel couple as well.“ she states, as always finding the right words that make you believe her.  
  
“Fuck I think I already came across a Cameron and Noel shipname. Was it Camel? Or Mosher? I think both of them exist!“ Jeremy chuckles, bringing everyone to laugh again.  
  
“Holy shit!“ Cameron let's out between his loud laughing. He can't believe that Noel and him are such icons to their fans. It's impressive and overwhelming, and he doesn't know if he tears up because of his hard laughter, the love of their fans or the best supportive friends you can think of. It’s probably a mix of everything.  
  
He looks to his right side and finds Noel biting on his lower lip, his laughter also coming to an end. Cameron knows him by now, he knows the meaning of every tremble in his face, every raise of his eyebrows, every scratch of his nose with his thumb and _hell,_ every bit of his lips. He knows that Noel is trying his best not to let a single tear slip out of his eyes. The rapid blinking is proof enough for Cam and he leans in to place a kiss on his soft cheeks.   
  
“Looks like we have the best fans, right??“ he whispers into his ears.

Noel nods, adding “And friends.“  
  
William now raises his voice, bringing Noel’s and Cam’s attention back to their friends. “So I think I speak for everyone now, when I say, that we totally have your backs if you want to stay in the closet. But if the reaction of your fans is your only fear, then I think we should have proved to you otherwise by now!“ he says, sounding like a dad who is proud of giving his family an important lecture.   
  
Everyone agrees to that. Everyone except Noel, who speaks up again. “That's not our only fear.“ he begins and Cameron thinks by saying 'our', he‘s actually speaking of himself alone. But Noel doesn't know better, because Cameron showed his support by telling him that he understands his fears. And he does, but he doesn't share them. Noel seemed to have misinterpreted it. “What if we only get gay roles then? Or roles other people think only gay men can play? Can Cam once outed as gay still portray Jerome Valeska? Or will they let me play a tough soldier when I‘m officially gay?“ Noel questions, a heavy tone in his voice.   
  
Jeremy scoffs. “What the fuck Noel?! Both of you are incredibly good actors, everybody can see that. You aren't a tough Southside thug, but you play him perfectly in 'Shameless'. You aren't retarded, but you played Cotton Top Mounts awesome in 'Hatfields & McCoys', you aren't a killer but did a great job in playing one in 'The fear of the walking dead'. And even if you may think it sometimes, you are sure as hell no Ninja turtle.“ he shortly pauses to chuckle of his own joke. “So you really think someone will give a shit of if you are gay? Gay or not, you two are one of the most talented young actors I know and I am sure as hell, that producers know that. They should feel blessed to be allowed to work with you.“  
  
Although Cameron doesn’t share Noel’s fears, he lets Jeremy's words sink in. And he can see Noel doing the same.  
  
“Thanks guys, you are really the best.“ Noel says. “Your support for us isn't self-evident, and we can count ourselves lucky to have you as friends!“ He raises his beer bottle, nodding into the circle.   
  
Emmy takes the chance, getting up and making a toast to them. “To Cameron and Noel! May all your wishes come true! All the best on your engagement!“ she smiles.  
  
Everybody raises their bottles or glasses, before joining in on the toast “To Cameron and Noel! Cheers!“  
  
Cameron feels tears filling his eyes again, tears of joy and happiness swelling in his chest. He notices Noel's hand in his neck, pulling him into a tender kiss that he immediately reciprocates. They earn a lot of 'Aaaaww's' especially from the women and they break apart before it gets weird.   
  
“I couldn't be happier right now.“ he whispers only for Noel to hear. Noel stares him directly in the eyes, their faces so close, that their noses still touch, and he nods slightly.

“Yeah“ he breathes and pecks his lips again. Noel doesn't say it back and Cameron can understand why. He knows that he's happy with Cam and their friends. But in the back of Noel's mind there is still someone, from whom he misses the permission of. “Would you please excuse me for a short moment?“ Noel asks and gets up, after Cameron nods with love filled eyes.  
  
He looks at Noel, tramping through the sand and close to the sea, before he walks around the edge of a big rock and is gone for the next half of an hour.  
  


  
(NOEL'S POV)  
  
“Sooo.. _Cam_ , when's the wedding I'm gonna crash?“ he hears Ashley asking, causing his fiancé to laugh.  
  
But the voices fade away, as he rounds the rock, to take some time alone. The sun is going down, colouring the sky in wonderful orange. Noel can't help the smile spreading over his face, when he's reminded of his lover's hair.  
  
Damn, is there any time of the day he is not thinking about him? It doesn't seem so. But Noel can't be happier about it, because thinking of Cameron makes him feel good. _Alive_.  
  
They belong to each other. Now and until forever.  
  
He takes a deep breath and pulls his phone out of his pockets. Before he can think about what he is going to do, he dials the number.  
  
It rings. One time.  
  
He breathes in.  
  
Two times.  
  
He holds his breath.

Three times.  
  
“Noel, hey, _thank god!“_  
  
“Hey mum.“  
  
He breathes out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo.... ??? 
> 
> Thank you for leaving kudos and/or comments <3
> 
> I appreciate every of them!!!!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo.. there's this:  
> I am a little disencouraged, since the kudos seem to stagnate. But then your comments and lovely words are pushing and urging me on, so thanks for that!  
> I'm dedicating every chapter to you guys :-*
> 
> I hope you enjoy and leave a kudo and/or a comment if you like it <3

(NOEL'S POV)  
  
The swaying of waves on the rocks is like music to Noel's ears. Rhythmic, gentle, soothing. Combined with the beauty of the sight infront of him that involves the open sea after sunset, Noel breathes deeply and enjoys a moment full of peace and equanimity.  
  
The moon shines in full splendor from the dark starry sky, leaving a glittering trail on the water, on which boats rock back and forth. Noel looks at the moving luminous dots on the open sea and is glad that his brain gives him a mental pause.  
  
He concentrates on his breath, his eyes fixed on a flashing point in the distance, before allowing the sounds from the outside to engulf him, reminding him that he is actually at his own engagement party.  
  
He nods into the distance, as if he's saying goodbye to all the boats, puts his phone back in his pocket, and returns to their guests who have thrown themselves into the party.  
  
He steps closer to the people who are dancing to the music Cameron has turned on. Unseen yet, he tries to locate his redhead in the crowd, lucky that a tall ginger is mostly easy to find. He stands there teetered, with his back turned to Noel, blocking the sight infront of him.  
  
Noel can't help himself, admiring the beauty of Cameron's back. It's narrow and yet powerful, the muscles around the shoulder blades are well trained and defined. Something that comes into his own through the dark green narrow-cut t-shirt. And his ass. _God_ , his ass just looks fantastic, with or without clothes. Taut and muscular, every inch his own perfection.  
  
Wow, he is so deeply in love with this guy, that he sometimes finds his own thoughts creepy.  
  
As he steps closer to his lover, he grabs a bottle of beer from the bar table on his way. Cameron's moving from side to side, reveals the person he's talking to. Ruby.  
  
Noel expects his heart to drop, his blood to rush through his veins, sending an alarm to all cells of his body, but _no_ , nothing happens. It's not that he shuts his feelings down to let the numbness take over him again. Instead of all the bad feelings that used to creep up when he saw his man with an attractive woman, his body is now is filled with happiness. No one is able to take Cameron from him anymore, not since his proposal.

Even if the repetitive words of his mother use to drag him down, there's a sincerity in him now. The words hurt, he can't deny it, but the fear is gone. With Cameron's promise to love him til the end of time, he took the power out of her words. Cameron will stay.  
  
He steps up to them, giving his fiancé a pat on his muscular back. “Hey!“ he greets them, earning a peck on his lips from Cam and a soft smile from Ruby.  
  
“You good?“ Cameron asks, raising his eyebrows and scanning his face with absolute precision, to find any indication of hidden hurt.   
  
God, it's cute. Fucking adorable the way his freckled face shows every emotion like an open book Noel will never be tired of reading. It will forever be his favorite book.   
  
Noel knows, that Cameron had a premonition of why he was gone for the last half an hour, and is checking on his mental stability now. “Yeah, I'm good!“ he answers, presenting him with an honest smile.  
  
Cameron nods his head looking between Ruby and Noel, suddenly coming up with “Uhh.. so... I'll go check on the music. Don't want Bill to bring up the worst of the 70's again!“ and heads towards the self constructed dj desk, where Bill's fingers are dangerously close to his Macbook.  
  
Noel knows damn well that Cameron likes the music from the 70's, so of course this has to be a lame excuse of leaving him alone with Ruby.  
  
“Soo.. you got a renewed contract for Shameless season 8 yet?“ Noel asks, hesitantly starting with some random small talk he knows he's bad at.  
  
“No, not yet. But Sheila told me, that she'd like to have Elliot and me on the show for some more episodes, so I'm hoping. It's so much fun with the crew!“ Ruby answers, shifting nervously from one foot to another, her hands digged deep into her pockets.   
  
Noel can physically feel Cameron staring holes into their bodies, hoping for them to get along.   
  
“And you?“ she questions, stepping into the territory of his small talk abilities.  
  
“Not yet. But Sheila told me practically the same thing. Hopes for a Gallavich reunion.“ he retorts, hoping that he'll get the chance to film more episodes with his family.  
  
A smirk spreads over her nodding head. “Who does not?“ she laughs, sounding more like a fact, rather than a question. She looks him deeply in the eyes, one hand brushing some strands of dark brown hair out of her forehead, while the other one raises her beer bottle. “Team Gallavich?“ she asks hopefully, and Noel knows damn well that there's so much more hidden in this statement. It's like she‘s using 'Gallavich' as a code word for Cam and himself, implying that although Noel has somehow gotten in her way of a possible future with Cameron, she has now come to terms with it. And even though he never thought about it before, he now feels free of some of the guilt and is somehow relieved that she isn't hurt.

“Team Gallavich!“ he agrees, letting their beer bottles clink together.  
  
  
  
  
“Bye! Drive safely!“ Cameron waves Jeremy and Steve, their last guests at 4:14am goodbye. The party was a raving success, all of them had fun together.  
  
Noel picks up the last empty bottles from the table and the ground, happy that he slowly started with the cleaning a while ago, so there isn't much left now.  
  
“Let's do the rest tomorrow.“ Cameron tells him as he steps closer, wrapping his arms around Noel's bent body, guiding him up. “C'mere!“ he whispers and turns him around to crash his lips onto Noel's waiting pout. The kiss is soft and tender, accordingly to the time, only the tips of their tongues touch.  
  
Cameron rips his mouth off Noel, letting his forehead rest against his. “Before we go to bed, you gonna tell me about the call?“ Cameron whispers, intent on not pushing Noel to say something he may not be ready to. Noel knows that if he doesn't want to talk, Cameron would be fine with that. At least for one or two days. After that he'd do his best to make Noel open up to him, because Cameron promised him, to never let Noel suffer through something alone, ever again.  
  
But this time it's different. There's no need for Noel to stay quiet and not tell him about the call or/and his fears. This time he knows, that Cameron will stay.  
  
“She apologized like a thousand times!“ Noel tells him, huffing a dry laugh.  
  
“That's good! Isn't it?“ Cameron mumbles with his lips pressed against Noel's forehead, his hands moving up and down his lover's arms to encourage him to open up.   
  
“Yeah. Guess it is.“ Noel breathes, pulling Cameron down for a hug, nuzzling his head in the crook of his boyfriend's neck to inhale his sweet, but this time mixed with alcohol, scent. It makes him free. Free to talk, free to open up, free to be held and supported. He sobs, letting out desperate tears from weeks of oppression. His mother had hurt him. Deeply injured him. But he heals when he is with Cameron. And his mother promised to do anything for his forgiveness.  
  
All while he soaks Cameron's shirt in tears, he is being held, soothed and stroked, no words needed, until he finally looks up into beautiful green eyes. “She invited you or rather _us_ for christmas. She wants us to come and stay during the holidays.“ he informs him, a last sigh escaping his parted lips.  
  
Uncertainty is spreading through his body, knowing it is a lot what his mother is asking of them, _Cameron_ , to do. Noel told her that he'll ask Cameron and is only going to show up, if Cameron would feel comfortable to go there with him. He'll not spend christmas apart from the love of his life.  
  
A smile raises on Cameron's freckled face, green eyes lightning up. “I'm really looking forward to it!“ he says, intertwines their fingers and makes his way to their bedroom, pulling Noel with him.  
  
Noel doesn't know when it happened, but somehow he'd fallen deeply and completely in love with this guy, his love growing every goddamn second.  
  
He aches for him when they are apart and slowly heals when they are together. With him, he is flooded with fire that sparks every cell of his body to life. He can't deny that much of their heat lights up the sheets, but it isn't about the fucking. As incredible as their sex is, and it is by far the best Noel has ever had, it is the quiet moments spent talking, kissing, or just holding each other that make him feel the most alive.  
  
He‘s never realized he is so fucking gay, head over heels for a man, heart bursting in love. His knees get weak when he kisses him. He swoons at the sound of his voice. When he gets lost in his eyes, he never wants to be found. He lives for the laughter and relishes in the touches and tickles. He wants him for life. He wants to be tangled up in him every night and beside him every day. He wants mundane moments and stupid arguments. He wants it all with him, more than he'd ever dreamed of before.  
  
  
  
  
Sunday starts for them at noon, both too exhausted from the night before to get out of bed earlier. And although his head is pounding like a motherfucker, he enjoys the little routine he is having with his man. While Cameron swings the spatula in the kitchen to make them eggs and pancakes for breakfast, Noel sets the table.  
  
“What a great party.“ Cameron mutters and Noel doesn't know if he‘s talking to him or himself.  
  
“It definitely was. Guess there are no better friends out there.“ Noel agrees, placing a fork and knife on both table mats.  
  
“Yup, exactly.“ Cameron confirms, turning the sizzling pancakes around.  
  
While Noel is intent on not letting their coffee cans drop to the floor, he can literally feel Cameron opening and closing his mouth a few times, before he hears him starting with. “Uhm.. so..“  
  
“So what, firecrotch?“ Noel turns around, raising one eyebrow.  
  
“You had fun with Ruby too?“ Cameron asks hesitantly, staring at the pan on the stove, avoiding Noel's smirking face. He gets so cute, when he addresses something he's a little uncomfortable with. Noel knows that the sudden reddening of his cheeks, is not due to the hot pan beneath his face.  
  
“Yeah. Got a little time to get to know her better, funny isn't it?“ Noel teases, cocking his head and raising a knowing eyebrow in Cameron's direction.  
  
“What are the odds!“ Cam tries to be surprised, shrugging his shoulders and looking completely innocent to his laughing fiancé.  
  
“She's nice! You happy now?“ Noel admits, rolling his eyes at the thought of his cocky boyfriend, who isn't inconspicuous as often as he thinks he is.  
  
“You tell me. You're not jealous anymore?“ Cameron asks, putting the last pancake on a plate and turning off the stove, before he comes over to Noel, to set the prepared breakfast on the table.   
  
Noel smirks and lets his head drop while shaking it. He can hear himself huffing a laugh, before he looks into those wonderful puppy eyes, that can ask for everything they want and will get it. “I'll probably always remain jealous of anyone, who lays their hungry eyes on you. But that doesn't mean that I'm petrified of losing you, anymore.“ he confesses, happy when Cameron circles the table to kiss him on the cheek.  
  
“That's good.“ Cameron whispers hotly in his ears, taking his left hand to guide it infront of Noel's face. “Because I'm never going to leave you.“ he adds, rubbing his thumb over the plain silver ring on Noel's ring finger. It sparkles a fire inside Noel's stomach, and he's blushing slightly, until Cameron moves back to sit down by the table.  
  
“So, you'd be okay if Emma and I join Ruby in 'My Love Affair with Marriage'?“ Cameron asks, staring at his plate with the stuffed pancakes to pour some syrup onto.  
  
Noel can tell that he's nervous about asking this and he can't blame him. Only a few weeks ago he stumbled from day to day like a zombie, carrying his angst of losing Cameron to somebody else with him. He knows Cameron doesn't want him to to suffer like that again. He'd probably even cancel his contract for this movie, only to sooth him. But Noel doesn't want him to. He now has Cameron's promise, to love him until the rest of their days, with him all the time. It's stuck on a finger on his left hand.  
  
“Yeah, I'm okay with it!“ he smiles at him, gorging Cameron's breakfast with a warm and light feeling in his chest.  
  
  


  
“I forgot to ask. How was the meeting for your upcoming film yesterday?“ Cameron inquires, while stripping down to his swimming trunks, pulling Noel up and with him to the water.  
  
“Good. No, actually great. I'm very excited for the shooting to begin! Tomas' parents are really kind, they gave me a lot of background information. I'm so proud to get the opportunity to play him.“ the older man responds, dipping his toes in the sand, surrounded by cold water.  
  
“I'm sure you'll do a great job!“ Cameron compliments him, pulling him step by step into the water.   
  
Noel sucks in a breath sharply, because the water is fucking freezing. It's not summer anymore, but a warm November afternoon, which had brought his hyper activated boyfriend the great idea of going for a short swim.  
  
He wants to turn around and head back to the beach, but the warmth of Cameron's hands on his hips guiding him deeper and deeper inside the water, won't let him.  
  
“Sooo... you know what’s funny? Your shoot for ‘The long road home‘ starts at the same time as mine for ‘Anthem‘, on March 23rd. The problem is, my shoot is in Canada for the most part and yours is in Texas. But it’s a short flight and I don’t think my shoot will take long, a little more than a month maybe. So as soon as I'm finished I could come stay with you. Inbetween we could alternate visiting on weekends, and I’ll try to change my schedule a little, so maybe I’ll get some days free halfway through our work!“ Cameron explains, as if he had already thought about all the options they have during this time.  
  
This is the worst part of being an actor and being together with an actor. You have different schedules in different places. Your work tears you apart from the one you love. But instead of letting the sadness take over him, he feels happy about the fact that Cameron made plans already. This means he'll miss him as much as Noel will.   
  
God, he really has the cutest of all boyfriends, with his red curly hairs, the beautiful green puppy eyes, a mouth full of lust and desire, and cheeks that start blushing, everytime he feels lightly embarassed about something. Like now. As if Noel has caught him redhanded about making all the plans without talking to him.  
  
“You ready to go under water with me? I really need to kiss you now!“ Noel demands, already pulling at Cameron's trunks.  
  
The redhead laughs and together they count to three, until they plunge under the water and slot their lips together hungrily. Both resting their hands on each other‘s cheeks, to not let themselves drift away.  
  
The kiss is hot, making the cold water easier to accept around them. Noel can feel himself hardening at the eager way their tongues touch, and he pulls Cameron with him back up, to gasp for some air.  
  
He doesn't have enough time to fill his lungs with the needed oxygen again, because his lover dives him back down for another kiss. This time a shorter one, but not less heated, because both run out of air quickly.  
  
“Beachhouse, _now!“_ Noel gasps, between the short breaths he is taking, and both swim back to the coast as fast as possible.  
  
They are dripping their way through the house and into the bathroom to Noel's surprise.  
  
The moment they enter the room, Noel is pressed to the wall, fingers digging into the waistband of his wet trunks to pull them down. Both quickly step out of them, lips never disconnecting from each other.   
  
As soon as they step into the shower, turning on the warm water, Cameron is on his knees, pumping Noel's dick easily. Without their eyes breaking contact, Cameron opens his mouth, swallowing his cock down, those beautiful lustful lips stretching around his shaft.  
  
“Jesus Christ.” Noel breathes, one of his hands landing in the soaked red hair, the other one on the wall behind him, bracing himself to make sure he won’t fall. A part of him wants to lean his head back and shut his eyes, just enjoy this, but a bigger part of him wants to continue watching. Wants to see the way Cameron is on his knees to please him, just like that. He wants to continue appreciating how fucking hot and dirty he looks. Yet with those green eyes staring right into Noel’s, he somehow manages to be breathtakingly beautiful, all at the same time. The water is pouring down on them, turning his fire red hair into a darker shade and making him even more gorgeous.  
  
Cam’s left hand is curled around Noel’s hip, keeping him in place while he uses his other one to rub his fingers against Noel's entrance, slowly pushing one inside and punching a shuddered cry out of Noel. The water isn't as good as lube, but Cameron's working is mouth up and down his shaft, deep throating on almost every third time, makes the stretching pain tolerable. Fuck, this guy is talented, and he is _his_ forever.  
  
The thought alone makes Noel sigh in delight, still unable to tear his eyes away and break the gaze. And neither does Cameron. As if both of them want to witness each other's reaction through this.  
  
Cameron’s face is starting to become somewhat flushed, and Noel can’t imagine that he looks all too different himself - whether it is the heat of the moment between the two of them, or the literal heat from the shower, he doesn’t know. Probably both. The water continues pouring over them, Cameron sucking his cock as if his life fucking depends on it, while two fingers are scissoring him. The pleasure almost too painful to bare.  
  
Noel tugs at his hair a little bit more, and Cam humms at the sensation in his scalp, the vibrations rolling straight to Noel's cock, making his hips involuntarily buck forward, Cameron surprisingly managing to follow with it, avoiding choking.  
  
“I love you!“ Noel moans softly “ _Fuck_. Look at you, so damn beautiful, so hot. Taking my cock so good!“ he hears himself saying, a little embarassed that such dirty words are coming out of his mouth. Before Cameron, he never was much of a dirty talker, always quiet except some louder moans at the end of the act. But with Cameron sex is on a completely other level of lust and desire. The redhead turns him on so fucking much, he can't even describe it. He blows his mind, and with it all the compulsions to hold the words back. They slip out easily, as if they are meant for Cameron's ears to hear. And due to the fact that his lover is so turned on by them, he uses them more often now.  
  
Cam bats his eyelashes once or twice, hollowing his cheeks, letting his fiancé know that he appreciates the words. Noel notices some saliva gathering around Cameron’s mouth as he continues sucking his cock, their eye contact still not breaking. Noel dips his head, sighing. Cam isn’t inside of him and he can already feel his body reacting a thousand different ways to his touch.  
  
As the third finger is added, Noel's chest is moving up and down with heavy movements, his fingers practically clawing at the red hair. “I’m so fucking close.” he whines, this time not able to fight it when his head wants to fall backwards against the wall, his eyes screwing shut.  
  
The moment his head hits the wall, he feels a lack of warmth around his cock and a lack of fingers in his hole.  
  
He frowns, opening his eyes in confusion and cursing inwardly but not finding the energy to do so out loud. He had been so close, that orgasm would have been so amazing. But knowing what's coming now, the frustration subsides, leaving a feeling of excitement. Nothing is better than having Cameron balls deep inside of him.  
  
The redhead stands up, although his legs look somewhat wobbly for a second, his cock throbbing, begging for release.  
   
“Turn around.” Cameron whispers in a hot breath into his ear, voice still rough from having his lover's cock shoved down his throat.   
  
Noel smirks, anticipation written all over his face. He licks his lips once more before taking the few steps over, bracing himself against one glass wall in the shower. The water pouring out over his body, warming him up even further, just about burning his skin, actually. He closes his eyes, hands curled into fists against the wet wall, as he waits impatiently for Cameron to fill him. Finally his hands are back on his body, this time curled around his hips, holding him in place, before the tip of his fiancé's cock presses against him. His head immediately drops between his shoulders at the feeling, his body pressing back against Cameron’s.  
  
The water is hitting the back of Noel’s neck instead of the top of his head now, pouring hot streams down his back and to the spot, where their bodies are so wonderfully connected. The slippery water helps Cam's cock glide inside. It's a little painful at first, the water not as helpful as lube would be, but Cameron is aware of that, making his way carefully into Noel.

“You okay?“ he asks, as he bottoms out. They stand pressed together for a beat or so, Cam’s cock deep inside of his partner's body. Cam‘s hot breath fans his neck as Noel continues to clench and unclench his fists, trying his best to keep from slipping in the wet shower as the hot water continues to pour down over them, steaming up the frosted glass even more.

“Yeah. You can move!“ the older man confirms and without further hesitation Cameron starts to roll his hips in a slow rhythm.

“ _Fuck._ ” Noel can hear Cam’s muffled breath as his ass is squeezing his cock, with each push inside of him. Cameron’s fingers dug into the pale, wet flesh of Noel’s hips, Noel’s head still dipped down, eyes closed. Fuck, this feels so good. Never in a million years can Noel imagine something better than that.   
  
Cameron's grip on Noel’s hips tightens a little, as he eases his cock out, until only the tip is still inside of him, and then he pushes forward again. Both of them are groaning simultaneously at the way that they fit together, how perfect it feels. Their bodies are flushed completely red, from the hot water and from each other. Everything combined just makes their bodies absolutely throb in need and in exhaustion all at the same time.  
  
Noel starts pushing backwards, responding to every single slow thrust, and it doesn’t take long before Cam speeds up a little, figuring out a perfect rhythm. His breath still fans the back of his neck as he continues moving in and out of Noel, causing goose bumps all over Noel's body, he didn't know his skin can produce such heat. His own breath escapes through parted lips along with the occasional grunts.   
  
Cameron’s cock feels too fucking perfect inside of him, his legs starting to feel somewhat wobbly at this point, unsteady. The hot water that's pouring over them, turns their skin in a deeper shade of red with each second, their orgasms starting to build up deep in their stomachs.  
  
“Fuck, ain't no better feeling than this.“ Cam pants, sounding completely wrecked and out of breath. His cock shoving inside of him in a new angle, hitting Noel's prostate right away, and causing Noel to arch his back in pleasure, more whining escaping his lips.  
  
Cam’s right hand disappears from Noel’s hip, and he soon feels his arm curled around his waist instead, holding him up straighter, to hit the spot with every hard thrust. Noel groans, teeth grasping his bottom lip as Cameron once again picks up his pace, fucking him even harder, even better. Suddenly, he feels Cameron's face leaning against his back, right in between his shoulder blades. His nose is pressed into the skin, his lips leave a couple of sloppy kisses there.  
  
“Shit.” Noel curses through a breath, not daring enough to let go of the wall at all, as much as he wants to place his arm over his lover’s. He is too shaky at the amount of pleasure Cameron is giving him. His eyes stay clenched closed, the orgasm once again continuing to build. “So fucking close.” he grunts and Cam does the same in response, his teeth digging into Noel’s flesh for a split second before he goes over to kiss this part once again.  
  
Cameron's last remaining hand on his hips disappears as well and reaches to the front, where he wraps it around Noel‘s leaking cock, pumping it expertly. It makes Noel's eyes just about roll to the back of his head, his throat drying out even more, his body aching with the need to release. Cameron's touch is so fucking good, everything he does, makes him want to scream in pleasure.   
  
From the slow and careful beginning is nothing left. Cameron pounds into him fast and dirty, his balls slap against Noel's ass, intensifying the feeling of Cam once more.   
  
“Shit Noel, you ready to come? Can't hold it back any longer!“ Cameron begs, his need to finish turning his words in an almost painful statement. And _god_ , does this make Noel ready to spill his seed all over the glass wall. But he wants to hold back, wants to come together with his fiancé.  
  
So he clenches his teeth and inhales heavily, before urging Cameron on, to fill him up.   
  
With those words, Cameron can’t stop himself anymore, exploding inside his love. He comes with furrowed brows and a load moan, that is muffled by the way he presses his face into Noel's back. As Noel feels his hot load coating his inner walls, he is punched over the edge too, his cum shooting at the wall and into Cameron’s hand, along with the floor of the shower. Heavy breaths continue escaping his body, with a few moans as well.   
  
Once they are done, they both just kind of collapse against one another, Noel against the wall, Cameron against him. Cam’s breath is continuing to fan his neck as the shower continues running, washing all of the come off of the wall and Cameron’s hand.  
  
Noel’s lips are dry, parted, his entire body feels dehydrated, too hot and exhausted beyond understanding, but pleased.   
  
“Fuck, that was good!“ he pants, a smile making his way over his face. He feels Cameron pressing one more kiss to his shoulder blade, before he pulls out, turns him around by his hips and stares directly into his eyes.

“It was!“ the redhead whispers, placing his hands on either side of Noel's face, pulling him up to meet him in a searing kiss. Their lips fit easily together, like two pieces of a puzzle that are meant to stick together.  
  
Noel responds, his arms wrap around Cameron's waist, their tongues slipping into each other’s mouths, the two of them just about to melt underneath each other’s touch again. Once they pull apart, a thin string of saliva still binds them together for a short second, their eyes slowly blinking open. Though their bodies both relax, their hearts still beat a millionmiles a minute.   
   
  
  


Noel's eyes blink open, the flooding sunlight makes it hard to just open them. He looks to his left and sees Cameron awaking slightly, suddenly realizing what wakes them both up.   
  
“Turn the alarm off.“ he grumbles, turning to Cameron's side and closing his eyes to drift back to sleep. But the alarm still stays on, and reminds Noel that maybe it's better for them to get up. It's monday morning and both need to get back to work in town. Noel has to go to his agency in LA, where he has a meeting and a phone conference with the writers, producers and some colleagues from 'The Long Road Home'. They are about to discuss the first episode and maybe read through it. And Cameron has the ‚GQ Men Of The Year‘ Party tonight, where he needs to attend, a lot of preparation before hand included.  
  
“Let's get up!“ Noel rubs his eyes with his palms, one elbow nudging into Cameron's side, which earns him a low groan. The alarm gets louder and louder, and Noel wonders, how Cameron is still able to ignore it. “Come on man, turn the alarm off!“ Noel encourages him once more, while he sits up and leans his back against the headboard.   
  
Cameron throws his giraffe arm to the side and onto the nightstand drawer, rummaging blindly until his hand finds what it's searching for. Without opening his eyes, he tries to turn it off, but it doesn't work.   
  
Noel has to smirk at the look of his grumpy boyfriend. “Think you'll need to open your beautiful eyes.“ he tells him and Cameron seems to listen. He blinks a few times, before looking at the screen on his phone, suddenly sitting up straight in his bed. “What the fuck?“ he startles, staring at the display. Noel wonders what has dumbfounded him. “93 missed calls, and 18 new text messages.“ he reads from the screen.   
  
“What?“ Noel asks, thinking that he might have misunderstood him. But Cameron just nods, and scrolls through them simultaneously reading “the agency, Ronya my agent, my mum, Emma, Jeremy, Ashton, Tom and a few numbers I don't know. The messages are all telling me to call them back immediately!“ he says, completely taken aback.  
  
Noel reaches for his phone, a feeling that some of their common friends might have tried to contact him too. But as he looks at his phone, he is surprised as well, to see that the amount of missed calls and text messanges is even bigger than Cam's. “107 missed calls, 33 texts? Holy shit, something must've happened!“ he wonders scared, panic rising in his gut. The moment he wants to have a look at the contacts who tried to call him, his phone buzzes in his hands. “Layla.“ he reads out loud, before he swipes across the screen to pick up, Cameron's face scanning him.  
  
“Layla, what's up?“ he asks, in worry laced voice.  
  
“Fuck Noel, I've tried to reach you like 50 times.“ she tells him, sounding completely stressed and frightened. “The press is besetting me, my phone is ringing nonstop. There are seven vans full of paparazzis infront of our - I mean _my_ house!“ she adds, sighing in frustration.  
  
“Wh.. What? Why? What happened?“ Noel jumps out of bed, wandering up and down the room and trying to fight the lump in his throat. Something bad must've happened, his pulse is beginning to speed up. Cameron stares at him while biting on his fingernails, his look begging Noel to tell him what's going on.  
  
“ _You don't know?_ Fuck, where are you? It's all over the papers and on the internet. Check the homepage of Enews and call me back when you have a plan on what we should do!“ she commands him, hanging up before he is able to ask for more information.  
  
“Mac. Enews. _NOW_!“ he points with his index finger to the laptop on Cameron's side of the bed, prompting his boyfriend to do as he is told.  
  
Cameron takes it into his lap, tiping the link quickly into the search engine, ignoring his vibrating phone next to him. Noel is on his way around the bed, to his boyfriend's side as he hears an almost inaudible “Fuck“ slipping out of Cam's mouth.   
  
“What?“ he asks as he reaches him, eyes instantly looking down on the screen of the Macbook. He doesn't recognize the image that is popped up straightaway, he needs to look twice and read the title of the article below, which says: 'Cameron Monaghan and Noel Fisher: Gallavich is real!' His eyes land back on the photo from Cam and him kissing.   
  
Noel remembers that moment caught on the photo very well. Their friends standing behind them, taking photos with their phones. The beach. The beachhouse. Their engagement. Their party. The day before yesterday. The first kiss, when he came to Cameron to kiss him hello.  
  
“Fuck.“ he mutters as both continue to stare wordlessly on the slowly darkening screen.  
  
_FUCK._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oopsi.. another cliffhanger!  
> Sorry, but I absolutely love them, hihi.. :)
> 
> You can read about the moment when the photo was taken in the last chapter.
> 
> So.. what do you think? Will they come out yet? Or do they find a way to stay in the closet?
> 
> Thanks for leaving kudos and/or comments <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To all of you, that left comments and/or kudos on the last chapter: Thank you! You encouraged me to go on :)
> 
> Enjoy chapter 8!!!
> 
> All my love <3

-Layla, I'm so sorry about this, I'll take care of it!-   
  
He shoots the text off, still unable to comprehend what's going on. Cameron's phone is still buzzing in his hand, but the younger man only stares dazed onto the fully black computer screen.   
  
“Fuck.“ Noel utters once again, derailing Cameron's train of thought, who jumps out of bed instantly. The redhead grabs Noel by his shoulders, peering down into sorrow clouded blue eyes. “I'm going to fix this. Don't worry!“ he says determind, squeezing Noel's shoulders.  
  
“And how?“ Noel asks, wondering if Cameron worked out a plan in those moments where he seemed passed out. But his fiancé shrugs his shoulders, destroying Noel's hope for a fast emergency exit out of this hell of a situation they are now in.   
  
“I don't know yet, but I promised to be there for you whenever something bad happens. And I'll find a solution for this. Just don't shut me out again, okay?“ a trembling edge goes along with Cameron's anxious voice. Letting Noel know, that Cameron isn't afraid of the reaction of the public or his family and friends. No. His biggest fear is Noel's reaction to this. He's afraid of when Noel builds up emotional walls again, locking up his feelings and keeping Cameron away from helping him through it.  
  
But no. Noel painfully remembers those weeks, promising himself to never let it happen again. “I won't, I promise. Good times, bad, sickness, health, all that shit, remember?“ Noel quotes Mickey once again. Damn, Milkovich is a genious.   
  
Cameron smirks at that, nodding in relief before he quickly places a kiss onto Noel's lips. “Okay. What are we doing about it then?“ he asks, sinking back on their bed and looking up at his boyfriend who sinks down beside him.  
  
“I have absolutely no idea.“ Noel answers honestly, feeling his phone buzz in his pockets. He grabs it and unlocks the screen, staring at Layla's reply.  
  
-At least we should tell the press that we broke up! X, L.-  
  
Noel‘s head drops with a sigh. This is going to be a long day.  
  
  
  
(CAMERON'S POV)  
  
“Yo bro, you alright?“ Jeremy's voice sounds worried through his phone. Cameron doesn't know how many calls he has answered by now, he stopped counting at twenty-sixth. A lot of them from his agency and Ronya, his press agent but also his mother, then Tom and Ashley. His mother tried to calm him and told him that eveything is going to be fine, that he doesn't need to worry. And the only words Cameron could examine during the talk with Tom and Ashley were a lot of 'Fuck's'. So talking to Jeremy is a welcome relief, knowing that he'll listen to him without calming him or yelling the entire time.  
  
“What do you think?“ Cam sighs, taking one quick look at Noel, who‘s fumbling nervously with his phone. Cameron leaves the room, then walks inside their bathroom and locks the door, not wanting Noel to hear this. He hears Jeremy exhaling long and heavy on the other side of the line.  
  
“Yeah, wow. Shit!“ is the only thing that comes out of Jeremy's mouth. Cam huffs a desperate laugh, while he slams his back against the locked door and sinks down to the floor.  
  
“'Shit' is number two in the ranking of the most commonly said and heard words of the last hour. 'Fuck' is number one. You have something different for me?“ Cam asks sarcastically with a hint of bitterness in his tone, fumbling with his free hand in his hair.  
  
“Not really.. .sooo _fuck?_!“ Jeremy jokes, making Cameron smile for a bit. “You okay? I mean, as okay as you can be in this situation?“  
  
“Yeah, I'm okay.“ Cam confirms, rubbing his palm over his face. He hears Noel's muffled voice through the wall, guessing he also answered his hundredth call.  
  
“And Noel?“ Jeremy questions, and Cameron feels his heart drop. _Noel_...  
  
“I don't know. I don't think he is okay with this. I mean, you heard him talking at the party about coming out. I don't think he's ready for this. To everybody else, he's still engaged to Layla! _Fuck_.“ Cameron blurts out, pressing his fingers hard into the corner of his eyes to stop his eyes from watering.   
  
“But he has you! You'll go through it together. It's good that you are less afraid, maybe you can take some of his fears from him.“ Jeremy tries to help, his voice soft but determined.  
  
“Yeah... _no_. That's the point. Noel always shuts me out when things get difficult. I'm fucking scared, he'll do it again, because he won't let me help him then. And I'm going to lose my shit if this happens again.“ Cameron replies, taking one deep breath before continuing. “I mean.. he promised me not to freak out, but I can see the fear behind those blue eyes.“ He fights a sigh from escaping.  
  
Some moments pass, where none of them is talking, before Jeremy speaks up again. “I can hear your anxiety about this, Cam. So if Noel doesn't want to come out, and you are scared that he'd suffer too much and you'll lose your shit, than maybe it's better to stay in the closet a little longer?“ Jeremy suggests, and Cam nods his head in agreement. It's not what he wants, _no_. He'd rather tell the whole world about their relationship and engagement. But he can't stand Noel in constant worry and pain. He'd rather die, than see the love of his life suffer again.  
  
“And how should we explain this shit?“ the redhead whispers, knowing that they'd better come up with one hell of a masterplan.   
  
“I don't know? I mean, we‘re all on the photo. We can all cover for you, say it was a game or a Shameless scene?“ Jeremy tries to calculate their options.   
  
Cam smirks. “Yeah tell them we played truth or dare, like some teenagers.“ He really has no idea of a realistic lie. Noel is still running up and down the bedroom talking furiously, and Cameron is a little scared of leaving the room and facing him without a plan. He wants nothing more than to reassure him.  
  
“Ronya couldn't help?“ Jeremy asks, indicating that it's the job of press agents to build up some cover stories for their clients.  
  
“Nah, she was a little shocked about he news. And Noel's press agent too. They have a phone conference now, trying to find the best way out of this mess quickly. I have the 'GQ Men Of The Year Party‘ tonight, where I need to be. If I don't show up, the media is going to become deeply engrossed in this and won't let the topic drop. So I need a good story to tell them, _now_!“ Cam explains.   
  
“Okay, so now it's all about sitting, waiting, wishing.“ Jeremy says, and Cameron really hopes that the 'wishing' part comes fast.  
  
“Sitting and waiting, huh? Well, I can hear Noel doing the complete opposite in the bedroom. Fuck!“ Cameron sighs, letting his head hang low between his shoulders. He, Cameron himself isn't afraid to get hurt. He is only is scared how this impacts Noel.   
  
“He won't leave, Cam.“ Jeremy's soft voice reassures him from the other end, breaking Cameron's power to stay strong. Cameron lets out a shuddered breath he didn't know he was holding and lets some tears escape.  
  
Jeremy doesn't say anything, just lets him cry until he's done.  
  
“How the fuck did that even happen?“ Cameron asks after finding his voice again.  
  
“I don't know. I mean, we were all busy taking photos of you two love birds, so we probably missed the flashlights coming from the water! It must've been taken from a boat, when you look at the angle. Maybe some paparrazis or someone who was just at the right place at the right time and saw his chance to make a lot of money by handing the photo to the press.“ Jeremy thinks out loud. Cameron doesn't answer so he goes on. “Cam, you can't change what happened. Just take the lemons and make some lemonade!“  
  
This time Cameron laughs out loud. Therapist Jeremy has spoken. There's nothing left to add.  
  
  
  
  
“Who was on the phone?“ Noel asks, as Cam enters the bedroom again. He had splashed some cold water onto his face, before exiting the bathroom. Noel is already worried, he doesn't need to deal with Cam's tear strained face.  
  
“Jeremy. And with you?“ Cameron questions.  
  
“Layla.“ Noel answers, staring holes into the ground. “We made the decision to tell everyone that we broke up.“ Noel explains, his face full of concern as he looks up to lock his gaze with Cam.  
  
“Oh...“ is all Cameron is able to say, before Noel interrupts him again.

“But this is it. I'm sorry, but I dont think I can come out yet, Cam!“  
  
Cameron feels his throat getting dry and he swallows hard. He knew that this is what Noel wants, but he’s still afraid that living a lie is going to cause more damage than good. Anyways, it's what Noel wants, so...  
  
He nods slightly. He must look a little disappointed, because Noel is immediately there to cup his face with both hands. “ _Hey,_ listen to me. This has _nothing_ to do with you.“ he starts, guiding Cameron down to sit on the bed next to him.  
  
How can this not have anything to do with him? Noel is worried about the reactions he will get for being together with _Cameron_. This has _everything_ to do with him..  
  
“No Monaghan, you're not doing this right now!“ Noel warns, snapping him out of his thoughts.  
  
“What?“ Cameron wonders in confusion, looking into the bluest blue he has ever seen.  
  
“Having an inner monologue with yourself, where you claim the opposite of what I'm trying to tell you!“ Noel's eyes peer determind into Cameron's, coaxing a smirk out of him. “Listen, I am so, so _not_ ashamed of you, or whatever bullshit is running through your mind right now. I'm _not_! Quite the contrary! I'm proud to have you as my partner and husband in the future. It's just...“ Noel sighs, letting his hands drop from Cameron's face, to rub his own. “You know how deep my mom‘s words cut me. I'm still recovering from those two horrible weeks I suffered after that.

And now, when I'm finally happy again and I finally feel like making peace with her, the next thing pops up, jeopardizing my inner balance once more. Her words don't affect me that much anymore.“ Noel continues. “But what if everybody else out there now starts with the same shit? 'Noel Fisher, too old for his lover', 'Noel Fisher leaving a long term relationship to have some fun with his coworker' 'Was the relationship with Layla only to keep up appearances?' 'How was the reaction of their parents?' blablabla.“ Noel is bubbling and before Cameron is able to express his words of protest, Noel continues. “You know I don't believe them. Not anymore. Not after you proved to me how much you're into this.

And I'm into this too. But I need some more time to recover, before waking up everyday to read or hear some shit about us. About things that are nobody's but our business.“ He takes a deep breath. “In short, our life will be shattered by the media, and I don't know if I can endure that after I'm still removing the shards from last time.“   
  
Noel seems spent after this soul stripping infront of Cameron, who is extremely relieved that Noel opened up. “Okay.“ he breathes, leaning forward to press a soft kiss on Noel's lips.   
  
“Okay?“ Noel questions, obviously expecting some protest from his younger lover.  
  
“Yeah, okay.“ Cam reassures him again. “Let me help you remove the shards and stay tidy for a little while. I'm okay as long as you are happy!“  
  
Noel smiles, pressing his lips onto Cameron's again. “Gay!“ he jokes between short disconnections of their lips.   
  
“I'm proud someone finally found a label for homosexuals!“ Cameron replies, earning Noel's tongue in return.  
  
“And now, joker? How we are going to cover this up?“ Noel confronts Cam with the same question he has already asked himself a hundred times today. Unfortunately, the answer is still the same. “I really don’t know.“

 

 

Due to the fact that they can’t do a lot about the situation now, they try to go on with what was planned for today. Packing things and returning to their apartment in LA, before Noel has to get ready for his meeting.

Both are being careful, knowing that they shouldn’t get caught by paparazzis waiting for them. The media hasn’t caught up that Noel lives with Cameron now, but they sure as hell want to ask Cameron a ton of questions. So the possibility of paparrazis waiting infront of Cam’s apartment is quite high.

Before they get to the underground garage of their home, Noel climbs out of the passanger seat and crawls to the luggage space of the car. So when Cam drives into the gateway of the underground parking lot and is shortly blinded by oodles of flashing lights, it looks like he's on his own, Noel shielded from the hustle and bustle.

They make it down there, without anybody noticing Noel and head straight to the elevator, that brings them up to their apartment.

Cameron feels a sting in his heart at the thought of this being their reality now. Living in secret all the time. It’s the first day they have to hide while being in the spotlight, but Cam already feels exhausted and he can see Noel feeling the same.

They don’t talk much, just unpack their stuff and try to shut out everything that’s going on on the street infront of their window. Paparazzis and journalists screaming Cam’s name, asking questions, both men don’t want to answer.

Their press agents better come up with a cover story real quick, because not talking to the people from the media, is enough for them to build up another story on their own.

When Cameron’s phone buzzes on the table of their living room, both startle from the tension that has already emerged from the situation. They are hoping for some relief, for their agents to show them a way out of it.  But none of them is calling, and their hope for a quick solution is destroyed once again.

“Jeremy.“ Cameron tells his boyfriend a little disappointed and picks up. “What’s up?“ he greets his on screen brother, wondering why he‘s calling him for the second time today.

“You wanna hear the good news or the bad news first?“ Jeremy’s cheerful voice echoes through the speakers Cameron turned on for both of them to hear. Both freeze in their actions.

“How about this: You keep the bad one for someone who still has the nerves to hear them, then only share the good one?“ Cameron counters, nervous about what his friend is going to tell him.

“So the bad one first.“ Jeremy teases, causing the redhead to roll his eyes and prepare himself internaly for the next shit that’s coming down on them. “John is pissed at the both of you.“

Cameron and Noel’s eyes lock, shocked. Neither understands what Jeremy wants to point out. “Wells? John Wells? _What_? Why’s that?“ Cam wants to know, after he finds his voice stuck in his throat again.

“Okay, so I guess I now have your full attention for the good one.“ Jeremy laughs on the other side of the line and Noel and Cameron both get the desire to jump through the phone and choke the answers out of Jeremy. “He's pissed, because Mickey is always his trump card he plays to make his fans happy when they've almost lost hope.“ Jeremy explains. His declaration though, doesn’t seem to bring light into Noel’s and Cam’s darkness.

“Huh?“ is Cam’s first reaction to that, before adding:  “Jeremy, can you please speak English to me? We’re not playing Activity right now, you are allowed to use all the words of your reportoire. So _please_ , give me an explanation that doesn’t raise tons of more questions.“ Cam answers stressed, rubbing his forehead with his palm.

“Jesus Monaghan, sometimes you pretend to be dumber than you are.“ Jeremy starts and exhales deeply one more time, before speaking up again. “I talked to John after our call. I didn’t know, if you’d like him to know about your relationship with Noel, but you sounded like a wreck and so I had to make a decision. I told him about you two love birds, explained what happened, and gave him a suggestion. Bring Mickey back and let it look like the Shameless crew made a mistake in not shielding the set well enough. I told him that it could be a scene, where all of us are in, since we are all on the photo. Or a scene with only the two of you, and we were pretending to be the viewers behind the camera.

Which leads us to the next two options: Fake a photo that looks like the original one where there are cameras around you. Cameras that were cut out of the photo that’s going around right now. Or we say, that this was a tryout for the cameramen to see where their equipment was best placed.“ Jeremy pauses shortly, before adding: “Well, John isn't that excited to do so, but he is already planning to write Mickey back into the show, and he'll do it for the both of you. He'll decide on a lie that fits best into a script tomorrow. But for tonight it should be enough for you to say, that this kiss was out of a Shameless scene.“  
  
Cameron's eyes don‘t leave Noel during Jeremy's outburst, and he can see the tension of his partner's muscles vanishing with every word Jeremy speaks. This is it, their way out.  
  
“What the...“ Cameron starts, but loses the words somewhere between his brain and throat.   
  
“Even though you've heard the word a hundred times today, you can't remember it _now_?“ Jeremy jokes, huffing a laugh through the phone.  
  
“ _FUCK_?!“ Cameron completes his question from before. “What the fuck, Jeremy? Oh my god! Are you...Is this... You haven't.. _What_?“ Cameron is speechless. He chuckles, happy that Noel's body seems to finally relax.  
  
“Oh wow, thank you buddy!“ Noel can't hold back any longer as he plays part in the phone call.  
  
“Oh, hey Noel. You're welcome.“ Jeremy replies satisfied.  
  
“That's really, really awesome Jeremy! Thanks man!“ Cam finally compliments. He isn't a fan of the variant Noel has choosen for them, not coming out for a while. But as the smile Cameron has missed so much today spreads over Noel's face, he knows it's worth it.  
  
“So John will now contact your press agents and settle everything for the press release. You both just need to confirm that later.“ Jeremy goes on, making one of them completely happy, which in turn pleases the other one.  
  
“Wow, thanks again Jeremy! You don't know how much this means to me.“ Noel says, some tears of relief welling up his eyes.  
  
“It's okay. I'm glad I could help.“ Jeremy reassures them, before telling them goodbye and hanging up.  
  
Cam steps towards his fiancé and wraps his arms around his waist. “Better?“ he asks, his forehead touching Noel's.  
  
“Better.“ Noel confirms, turning his head upwards, to meet his lips for a kiss.  
  
  
  
  
(NOEL'S POV)  
  
“The press release is out, you can find some articles already on the internet.“ Camille, Noel's press agent tells him on the phone as he heads outside the building, after the meeting with Phil Abraham and Mikko Alanne. Two of the executive producers from 'The long road home'  
  
“Okay, great. You also told them about my breakup with Layla?“ Noel asks, trying to get as fast as possible into the next uber unseen.  
  
“No. Listen Noel, I don't think it's a good idea to tell them _now_. A picture with Cameron and you, kissing on a beach without cameras but with friends around you pops up. You want them to believe that it was for the show, then it would probably be better to wait with the whole breakup thing for a few weeks.“ Camille explains to him.  
  
“Yeah, but Layla.. I mean, the whole situation is a strain for her too. Paparazzis and journalists want to know her reaction to that fucking picture. They may leave her alone if we could tell them now.“ Noel says, worried about Layla's well being in the situation they got her in. It's his and Cameron’s fault that she's now beset with cameras and dictaphones. He can't let her lie about them still being happy together and hiding her new relationship for a few more weeks. She has already suffered enough during the last few months.  
  
“Noel, _please_. Let us deal with this first before adding the breakup thing to it. If it's your wish, we can give out another press release at the end of next week, but not contemporaneously, okay?“ she tries to convince him. And after all that happened today, he is fucking tired of arguing. He just wants to go home and crawl inside his bed and watch his boyfriend live on the ‘GQ Men Of The Year‘ party on the internet, hoping that he'll make their cover story look realistic.  
  
“Okay.“ he breathes, before he hangs up and thinks about a way to explain the retardation to Layla.  
  
  
  
  
“Hey mum!“ he greets her, a dull feeling of panic still raising in him when he hears her voice.  
  
“Hey sweetface, how are you?“ she asks with tenderness in her voice.  
  
Scared. Sad. Tired. Relieved. Worried.   
  
“Okay.“ he mumbles, not wanting to tell her, that she was right at one point - being gay isn't easy.  
  
“You don't sound _okay._ “ she digs deeper.  
  
“I'm exhausted for today, okay? What do you want to hear? That you were right? Is this a 'I told you so' call?“ Noel wasn't aware, that there was still so much anger in him about the things she said.  
  
“No. I'm sorry Noel. I'm so, _so_ sorry. I never wanted to hurt you that bad. I hope you'll forgive me some day.“ she apologizes for the hundredth time and Noel feels guilty for attacking her that quickly. He rubs his face and hears her speaking up again. “I just wanted to hear if Cameron and you are okay. I saw the picture this morning and was glad to see you happy. It really looks like you two love each other. I'm sorry I hadn't seen your love before.“ There's a short pause, in which she may be waiting for Noel to respond, but he stays silent, so she continues. “But then I read about it being a scene, and guessed that this was your way of covering up your relationship. Am I right?“  
  
Yes, of course she is right. If everyone believes them as much as Noel’s mum does (and she doesn’t), then they'll probably need a cover story to cover their cover story. He stays silent again. He'll NOT agree with her.  
  
“So I _am_ right.“ she confirms herself, making Noel roll his eyes to the back of his head.  
  
“Listen Noel, I'm probably not your favorite person right now, and definitely not the person you want advice from, but I love you and only want you to be happy and safe. So let me tell you one thing,“ she inhales deeply and Noel prepares himself for her next words. The last time she told him 'one thing', his whole world collapsed. Before he can protest, she continues. “I know the press release is already public, but sometimes you have to admit that you have made a mistake and own it. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about.“ his mum sighs wistfully. “I know you are scared, and yes, maybe hard times are coming to you as soon as you make your relationship public.

But trust me, they will definitely be shorter than tedious years of hide-and-seek. I know, that this is the opposite of what I've told you before, but while you were busy ignoring me, I had a lot time to rethink my words.“ her voice sounds so reproachful, whenever she's talking about _that_ day. Noel swallows hard. “Noel, living a lie will only cause trouble, it will endanger your relationship sooner or later. And if I've learned something from our dispute, it‘s that you really love Cameron and don't want to lose him. So think carefully, if you want to take the path of eternal lies and hiding.“   
  
With these words her maternal advice ends, leaving Noel speechless with a dry mouth.   
  
What. The. Fuck.  
  
A few weeks ago, she told him that being gay will cause trouble. That he should work things out with Layla, because the time he spends with Cam is only short lived and not to be taken seriously. That Cameron is too young and is only making experiences with him, that he will leave him anyways.   
  
She terrified him. It was her words, that lead him to the decision to stay in the closet.   
  
And now? Now she’s advising him to make his relationship public. That he should tell the whole world that he's gay and together with Cameron Monaghan.   
  
Blood rushes through his veins, adrenalin rising with the speed of his heart beat. What should he do? He knows, that his beloved redhead would come out instantly. Would love to declare them officially as couple. It's like Shanola told him once, that Cam would love to scream out into the world, that they are together now.  
  
Noel's lips twitch into a smile. What a dork. Doesn't he know how many hearts he'll break with this declaration? He has a lot of fans, particularly girls who adore him. He'd definitely lose some of them, if he came out and told them that he is together with Noel.  
  
Noel shakes his head. He can't believe, that Cam is proud of him. This young, adorable, gorgeous, talented, attractive man wouldn't hesitate for a second to tell everyone, that he is in a relationship with him.  
  
He wouldn't either, if he wasn't so scared of an upcoming shitstorm. Anxious about words that may throw them back to where they were a few weeks ago.  
  
But could this really happen? Cameron made a statement with his proposal. He'll never leave. And Noel knows for sure he won't either. So maybe his mum is right, maybe it's easier to deal with the hard times coming up together, than an eternal hideaway full of lies and facades. For years, they'd have to be careful so as not be seen together, when sometimes all he wants to do is hold Cameron's hand.  
  
Shit.  
  
“Noel? You still there?“ he startles at his mother's words.  
  
“Yeah, yeah. Sorry.“ he mumbles, rubbing his face with his palm.   
  
“You have something to say about it?“ she asks carefully, not knowing how her son is going to react to her words.  
  
“Yeah.“ he breathes and lets the whole spectrum of what is going to happen sink in, before adding: “I'm sorry I gotta go. Let's catch up later!“ he answers and hangs up, throwing the phone on the bed and turning on the tv.  
  
The GQ party, where Cameron is attending has already started.  
  
He doesn‘t have much time left...  
  
  
  
  
(CAMERON'S POV)  
  
\- Let the charade begin! Love you! -   
  
He sends the text off to his lover, who is probably comfortable on their bed right now, watching live, how other celebrities and Cameron himself are going to attend the red carpet. Damn, he'd rather be by Noel's side now, but staying at home tonight was not a choice. He has to confirm the press release from earlier, or otherwise it'll look more like a lie.  
  
He's not happy with that, he'd rather tell them about their engagement than say that they aren't together. But Noel wants it like this, and Cam would do anything for him. So yeah.. let's get this freakshow started!  
  
He puts his phone back in his pocket and streaks his slim black tux straight, before he gets off the car that brought him to this event.  
  
“Have a nice evening Mr. Monaghan. Let me know, when you want me to pick you up again.“ his driver tells him, before he steps outside into the popping flashbulbs.  
  
He can already hear the journalists screaming his name, hungry for an interview with him. He raises his hand infront of his eyes, the flashlights blinding him shortly.  
  
Let's do it, he thinks and inhales deeply, before turning to the first camera and microphone that's directed at him.  
  
He prepares himself internaly for what he is about to say. 'The kiss was just for a Shameless scene we did. We have to admit, that this was a faux pas, the set wasn't shielded well enough. It meant nothing and Noel and me are not together in real life. We are only friends and colleagues.' He feels a twist inside his stomach at the words and just wants to get this over with, fast.   
  
The screaming of his name gets louder, with every step he's making towards the ranting crowd. “Cameron, come here!“  
“Cameron just a few questions please!“  
“Cameron give us an interview!“  
“Cameron, hey, _Cam_!“ - this voice sounds familiar to him. He would recognize this voice out of a million.  
  
He turns around, confused where the voice is coming from and looks quickly to his left and right. Just as he's wondering if his mind is playing tricks on him, _he_ emerges out of a car that drove him there.  
  
Suddenly everything seems to be blurred. The loud yells of the journalists are hardly audible for him, the popping of flashbulbs nothing more than a slight flicker. There is only _him_. He can see nothing but _him_.  
  
God, this man looks gorgeous. Heading towards him in his perfectly fitted grey tux, a white button-down shirt and a black tie. He has to remind himself and espescially his dick, that they are on a public space with cameras directed at them right now. Fuck if this man isn't the hottest being on earth.  
  
But what the hell is he doing here? Does he want to support him with their plan?  
  
“Noel, what -“ is all he gets out, before his secret fiancé wraps one arm around his waist and turns him around. He pushes him to the first camera and the journalist beside it. With his arm still draped around Cameron's lower back, he whispers a soft 'I love you' into his ears, before they come to a stand, Cameron still perplexed about what's going on.  
  
“On my side we now have Cameron Monaghan and Noel Fisher from Shameless. Good evening guys!“ the first reporter starts, more cameras and microphones instantly cluster around them.  
  
Cameron is only able to nod, while Noel gives the camera a smile, greeting him “Hey“. Cameron's lower back feels like it's on fire where Noel's hand is still resting.  
  
“I'm going directly to the point. What's with the photo, that’s currently going around the network?“ the journalist asks and Cameron feels heat creeping up his neck. Okay, here we go. He clears his throat and speaks up “Yeah, well... about that, we have to admit, that-“  
  
“We're together!“ Noel's words finish his sentence, which wasn't planned to end _that_ way.   
  
Radio silence.

For a few moments you would have been able to hear a pin falling down on the red carpet. Some moments to breathe in deeply, before the yelling starts again and Noel and Cameron go down a millions questions and flashing lights of all the cameras that are directed to them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;) Brave Noel!
> 
> Would you have thought?
> 
> I don't know how to add a picture here, but if you click on the link, you can see, how I pictured them on the Gala :) Enjoy :-*
> 
> https://www.pinterest.at/pin/421438477619917252/
> 
> Thank you for leaving kudos and/or comments <3


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo... I think our boys need a little break from all the heavy stuff that already happened :)
> 
> I went through the upcoming chapters and recognized, that they are practically full of smut... uh oh! Hope you won't mind :) I can't help myself, I'm definitely a smut writer *ooopsi*
> 
> Hehehe... so have fun and enjoy!! <3

(CAMERON'S POV)  
  
“How did you come together?“  
“Noel, what about Layla?“  
“Since when are you two a couple?“  
“Did you fall in love on the Shameless set?“  
“Is this only to increase the Shameless rates?“  
“What was with the press release, from earlier?“  
“Since when are you two gay?“  
“Cam, didn't you date Ruby?“

All this questions are smashed into their faces simultaneously, making it difficult to understand a single word.  
  
Cameron stands there as if rooted, still perplexed that Noel outed them infront of running cameras. Now everyone knows that they are together. No hiding, no lies, no going back. Cameron can proudly stand next to the love of his life. Noel did it for him. Cameron made the statement to never leave Noel with the proposal, Noel made it with this grand gesture.  
  
While Noel starts answering all the questions with which they are deluged, Cam reminds himself to shut his gaping mouth and start blinking again. The realization that he's now officially together with Noel fucking Fisher hits him like a rock.  
  
He did it. Noel fucking did it. What a proof of love.  
  
With every passing second he slowly drifts back to reality, the buzzing of butterflies spreading from his stomach to his whole body. Pure joy is what he's feeling now, and he can't hold the endorphines and the adrenalin that are rushing through his veins back any longer. He grabs Noel's face in both of his hands and kisses his fiancé passionately, breaking Noel's answer to one of the hundred questions abruptly. But Noel doesn't seem to mind, he reciprocates and opens his mouth for Cameron's tongue to enter.  
  
With that the yelling around them gets louder, people cheer them on, blow whistels, and snap thousands of pictures from one quick, but hot kiss.  
  
Noel also lays his hands on Cameron's cheeks, their tongues dancing as if there's no tomorrow.  
  
Cameron would have probably gone further, he is so crazy about this man. If Noel wouldn't have stopped their kiss, Cam would've pitched a tent in his pants for sure. He would have made the photographers pretty happy with that snapshot.   
  
A shrill yelp of a female reporter brings them both back to where they are now. On the ‘GQ Men of the Year Party‘. “Oh my god, oh my god. There's a ring on Noel's finger! Noel, _hey_ , Noel, is this an engagement ring?“ she asks, bringing all the focus of the cameras on Noel's finger immediately.  
  
Cameron can see Noel blushing and is thrown back by the cuteness of this guy. God, he is beautiful. The gorgeousness combined with his cuteness is hard to bear for Cameron. The corner of Cameron's lips spread from ear to ear, and he takes Noel's hand with the ring on it in his own, guiding their interlaced fingers to his lips and placing a kiss on the ring. “Yeah.“ he breathes, while his eyes are only on Noel's wonderful face. Everyone else is shut out, Cameron can only see _him_.   
  
Noel looks up to him and locks his gaze. Both sharing an intense look that screams certainty. They've made the right choice. They belong together, and everybody should know that. If someone's got a problem with it, they can go fuck themselves. This is what Cameron wants, what he needs. He belongs to Noel and this is how it should be.   
  
“We're engaged!“ he confirms once again and this time it's not only the reaction of flashlights and more questions about the proposal, it's also the constan buzzing of his phone in his pocket that catches his attention. Though he's only fixing his smile on the man beside him.  
  
“Noel, officially you are still engaged to Layla. When did you break up? Did you fall in love with Cameron while you were still together with her? Or was your relationship with Layla just for show? Have you ever loved her?“ The questions of the journalists get more and more importunate and Cameron can feel Noel shifting uncomfortably beside him.  
  
“Enough for tonight! Thanks!“ he rises to speak and turns around, pulling Noel with him into the safeness of the building where the party is in full progress.   
  
“Congratulations Cam and Noel!“ he hears some people from the crowd screaming, before they turn around the corner to be out of sight from the cameras.  
  
“What was that?“ Cameron asks as they come to a stand still at a discrete place of the room, facing his lover.   
  
“ _That_ was a coming out.“ Noel smirks.  
  
“And what kind of coming out! You hadn't planned on initiating me into this?“ Cam cocks his head with one raised eyebrow.  
  
“No. I really had no time left for that. Was sort of a last minute decision.“ Noel replies cheekily, shrugging his shoulders as if the whole situation doesn't affect him much.  
  
“Sort of, huh?“ Cam smirks, leaning forward until their foreheards touch to nuzzle his nose against Noel's. “You're crazy! What would you‘ve done if I would‘ve been averse to doing it?“ Cam questions, looking Noel deeply in the eyes.  
  
“Sure Monaghan, as if this has ever been the case.“ Noel conters self confident, causing Cam to laugh, before he presses his lips onto his lover's ones.   
  
“Just heard about the bomb you two bursted! Wow, this will probably remain the highlight of this evening. Congratulations guys, I've always been a Gallavich shipper!“ James Marsden congratulates as he walks past them, their mouths detaching quickly.  
  
Another smile spreads over their faces, happy that it's something someone mentions briefly, by the way. And so the evening goes on. They get a lot of congratulations and a lot of encouragement for their courage to come out publicly. Some random questions are asked, but no one oversteps the line of discretion or looks at them with contempt. Everyone seems to take them seriously, glad to see them happy.   
  
It's a great start of reactions that will now come their way. For sure, they'll be the cover story of many magazines tomorrow, and who knows what the reporters may write about them, or about Noel's relationship with Layla. But after tonight, it's good to know that they have a lot of supporters in their show business.   
  
To Cameron's surprise, Noel isn't shy in any way. Looks like when he makes a decision, he sure as hell stands by it. Now that he outed them, there's no need to back off his love and lust for his younger boyfriend. He kisses him, caresses his back, interwines their fingers, gropes and squeezes his ass. In short, he is always looking for body contact with Cameron. And Cam isn't disinclined. On the contrary, every touch is like a firework, which only strengthens his desire for Noel. So not long after midnight, Cameron is just too weak to hold back his craving for the brunet man. He wants to be in him, _needs_ to bury himself in the love of his life.  
  
“Let's go.“ he whispers into Noel's ear, who is talking with Robert Pattinson over the table, a former work colleague from ‘Twilight‘, while his hand strokes Cameron's thigh up and down. Everytime Noel's fingers trade up close to his crotch, Cameron gives his best to keep himself from getting hard. But he isn't able to hold it out any longer.  
  
“What?“ Noel turns his face in Cameron's direction, a smile on his lips. “I'm just having a great conversation with Rob.“ he says, before he turns his attention back to the man infront of him.  
  
Cam gives Robert a short nod with a smile, indicating that he's sorry for the interruption, but still isn't able to sit here only for a second longer.  
  
“Noel,“ he mutters through gritted teeth “we really have to go now, if you don't want me to shoot my load wasted!“   
  
This seems to get Noel's attention, which causes Cameron to smirk. When it comes to sex, he's not about to joke. Cameron knows there isn't much more left to say to get him where he wants him. He leans forward one more time and exhales hotly into the space between Noel's ear and neck. He can see goosebumps spreading all over. “I need to fuck you.“ Cameron breathes, lowering his voice only for Noel to hear. “Pound you good and hard.“ he adds, causing the brunet to close his eyes and bite hard on his lower lip.  
  
That's it. He‘s got him where he wants him. The reaction comes inmediately. Noel excuses himself and says his goodbye to Robert, Cameron doing the same. The older man grabs his hand and pulls him through the room to the exit, saying goodbye to those they know on their way outside.   
  
“You fucker! Call your driver, before everyone can see my throbbing boner!“ Noel commands harshly.  
  
Mhmm.. an angry Noel is a beast in bed. He definitely got him where he _needs_ him, right now.  
  
  
  
  
“Finally hom—” Cameron is cut off when Noel's lips crash into his. Noel is a little surprised by the rush, but responds immediately. He leans in and grabs Noel by his ass, lifting him up and carrying him to the table in the dining room. One hand bracing against the table while the other dives into Noel’s hair. The kiss deepens immediately, both hungry for more. Noel's fingers find their way undreneath Cameron's shirt, trading up and down his hot and burning skin.  
  
Jesus Christ, Noel is horny. The aggressive way with which he goes for Cameron, turns him extremely on, making Cam shiver in anticipation.  
  
“Fuck.” is all the redhead is able to get out. He reaches for Noel to help him standing up, pulling his pants down in one move. Cameron's hands wander immediately on Noel's bare ass, kneading it while his teeth graze over Noel's neck. The older man shoves him away, before going for his belt. He zips his pants down and shuffles his hands inside Cam's boxers to stroke his pulsating cock. Cameron nearly flinches at the contact, just because he is so sensitive and ready to let go.  
  
Noel bites down on his lower lip, when he feels Cameron’s body vibrating against his. His blown out pupils doesn't leave much of the emerald green over. Noel keeps stroking as Cam lowers his head and pulls him into another passionated kiss, his hands fisted in brunet hair.  
  
“Get in me!” Noel demands when he brings Cam’s pants and underwear down to his knees. He stumbles backwards to the dining room table, freeing himself from his own pants around his ankles. Noel grabs Cameron by his shirt and takes him with him, their bodies pressed together.  
  
“Wait. I need to prepare you first.” Cam whispers hotly against Noel’s ear, before kissing his way down to Noel's pelvis and sucking a hickey into the soft flesh. He knees down, infront of his man and wraps his hands around Noel's thighs to guide his ass closer to the edge of the table. When he licks a flat stripe up Noel's crack, his fiancé shudders with lust and lays his back down on the table, his hands finding its way into red hair.  
  
Cameron is eager, he needs to taste Noel, needs to eat him out. He circles Noel's hole with the tip of his tongue, before pushing it in and playing with his tongue inside. He has barely started and Noel is already a moaning mess under his touches. God, how he loves this!  
  
He nips, sucks and bites at the tight ring of muscles, before darting his tongue in and out the hot entrance.  
  
“Cam, _fuck_ , Cam!“ Noel yelps, gasping for air. But Cameron has no intention on going softer on him and instead quickens the pace of his tongue's thrustings. Instead of giving him time to recover, he wraps one hand around Noel's shaft and starts pumping in time with his mouthal penetrations.   
  
Noel arches his back, almost falling off the table from heavy wriggling. He's just panting, his stammering no longer understandable. It's a chorus of Cameron's name, 'please' and 'fuck's'.  
  
Salvia drips from Cameron's chin, he's smacking as if he's eating the most delicious meal he's ever had. It probably _will_ be the best he's ever going to taste.  
  
“Cam, _please_ , I can't, PLEASE!“ Noel stutters and Cameron can't restrain the lust anymore to have his boyfriend tightly enlaced around him. His cock pulsates almost torturously painful in his boxers.  
  
He pulls his tongue out and licks one more time from Noel's crack to his balls, before he kisses his way up and pushes Noel's shirt away. He licks with his tongue flatly over a hardened nipple and sucks on it until his fiancé is arching his back. He keeps teasing his partner's nipples, while the other hand wanders down to his building arousal, ghosting over the brunet’s erection before he rams two of his fingers into him. Noel's body responds immediately, wriggling underneath him.  
  
“Holy, _shit_!” Noel groans, trembling when Cameron works his long fingers deep inside of him. Cameron can't stop staring indeed. His lover's expressions is all he needs. He fingers him roughly scissoring them and let them jab at his prostate. His eyes wander from Noel's gorgeous body to his pretty face, not able to decide where to look at. Noel’s face flushes from the exhaustion, his chest is heaving uncontrollably. “Jesus Monaghan, stop teasing me!”  
  
Since Cam doesn't want to wait any longer too, he pulls his fingers out and positions himself between Noel’s thighs. He places one of Noel's legs on his shoulder, while he guides the other one around his waist. Slowly he pushes his throbbing length through the tight ring of muscles until it's plunged to the hilt. They both almost fall apart.  
  
“ _Fuck_ ,” Cameron breathes out slowly, while giving Noel time to adjust. “Fuck you for teasing me the whole evening, making me stiff and horny for you for hours!“  
  
Noel isn't able to respond. Cameron can see him struggling for breath, while he tries to get used to the wonderful feeling of being full and completed. Cam gives him time to adjust to the feeling, but he really hopes Noel doesn't need much longer. His whole body trembles, wanting to pound his boyfriend so fucking bad. Finally Noel nods his readiness, nudging his heel in the redhead's ass. The younger one obeys immediately, slowly rolling his hips into hishis boyfriend a few times, before he loses all of his willpower to go slow. He tightens his grip on Noel's tigh and hips and starts jack hammering into him, punching mutural groans out of his partner. Cameron himself is gone, acting on instinct to please them both.  
  
Noel clutches the edge of the table above his head with his hands, needing to hold on something while Cameron keeps rocking into him. The table shakes and shifts, moving with them to Cameron's hard and fast thrusts, until it hits the wall with a loud crash. Cameron stops shortly, before his lover protests.  
  
“ _Aah please_ , don’t stop, Cam!” Noel pleads and Cameron picks up his pace again, smirking that Noel really thought he could stop. HA! Not evenwhen if he'd try. Not even in his wildest dreams. His cock is made for Noel's hole, it's where it belongs. It's only them. Here. Now. It's how it should be. Only them - _forever_.  
  
While one hand is still holding Noel's thigh tight, he lets the other hand wander all over Noel's body. The sensitive and hot skin burning under his touches. Noel wriggles, his neglected cock begging for some friction, until Cam finally wraps his hand around it.  
  
Noel sobs and sighs, trembling and convulsing underneath him. It's one of the best feelings Cameron can think of. His own words barely understandable now, he's a babbering mess. Overwhelmed from being inside his fiancé and jerking him off in time with his thrusts.  
  
Cam can't help himself, biting as if on instinct into Noel's ankle, that still rests on his shoulder. The way Noel moans shows Cameron that the pain instantly gives way to pleasure. And Cam can't help himself, he needs to graze his teeth all over Noel's body. The smell of his boyfriend's skin is just too delicious.  
  
The redhead has to restrain himself from licking all the precum Noel is dripping from his hand. He could lose himself right now in the taste of Noel.  
  
Suddenly Noel shoots up and pushes Cameron away and out of his beloved hole. Noel is ringing for breath as he sits up, looking so damn hot, that Cameron is unable to ask what the fuck has gotten into him. He just glares at him questiongly,his chest heaving while he waits for his partner to make the next move.  
  
“Get out of all your clothes!” Noel demands, before pulling his own shirt over his head and tossing it onto the floor. Cameron doesn't need to be told twice and starts undressing himself simultaneously, kicking his pants away. When both are done, Noel steps closer and pulls him into a deep and lingering kiss. Both moaning into it, while their tongues slide against each other, exploring the others mouth as if it's the first time. Cameron could play this game the whole night, if the prickling in his gut wasn't painfully screaming for release.   
  
Their cocks rubbing hard against each other, when Noel pulls back again and sweeps Cameron’s legs right out from under him. The redhead gasps in surprise, looking flabbergasted at his fiancé. But latter one only smirks scornful, his eyes wandering hungrily over Cam's body. This sight, it takes Cameron's breath away.  
  
He leans back against the wall, before reaching his hands to the back of Noel’s knees, and pulling until the shorter man falls down and right into his lap.  
  
Noel positions himself immediately above Cam, bracing one hand against the wall, while the other grabs Cam's throbbing length and guides it to his waiting hole. Cam brings his fingers behind Noel's neck together, pulling him forward until their foreheads touch and their noses nuzzle against the other. When Noel finally sinks down and bottoms out, both of them escape ragged breaths.  
  
“You like when I ride you?” Noel asks quietly, his hot breath fanning Cam's ears, while his hips start working faster and more erratic.   
  
Like? Cameron fucking loves it, getting ridden by the love of his life. It's a god damn new experience everytime Noel does it.  
  
Cam can't stop his hands from running all over Noel's body, his nails digging into the soft flesh, leaving bruises on their way, while his lips bite and suck in the crook of Noel's neck. Noel trembles, riding him harder and faster in response, and Cameron can only stammer his name again and again. Noel’s eyes roll back, his mouth gapes open, when he lays his last energy in his up and down movements, Cameron supporting him with a firm grip on his lover's hips.  
  
Noel is close. Cameron can feel it. But _fuck_ , he is damn happy he is, because Cameron can't last any longer.  
  
“Touch me, Cam. Please touch me…” Noel begs for his release and Cam doesn't hesitate. He wraps his hand around Noel's shaft and starts pumping him fast. He also shifts and with the new angle his cock hits Noel's sweet spot over and over again, until the brunet man stutters and his rhythm is jerkily. With a high voice, Noel screams out his lover's name in high octaves.  
  
As his eyebrows knit as tightly as possible and his mouth begins to twitch, Cameron knows that it's over for Noel. His love cums hotly into Cam’s grasp, shuddering and trembling all over his body. His hole clenches around Cameron, as the younger man builds the pace for his last thrusts. Sweat is dripping from his forehead, while he does his last few thrusts.   
  
Noel feels so fucking perfect. His hot and heavy body still moving with him unrhythmically, his scent of aftersex driving Cameron nuts, while his hole is clenching around him, milking his dick to orgasm. Cameron hugs Noel tightly to him and buries his face in Noel’s neck while he rides out his own release. “Noel“ is the last word on his lips, before he get the feeling of passing out. He gives himself to Noel and he will do it all over again. Everytime.  
  
“Holy shit." Cam exhales, falling back against the wall, taking Noel with him. Noel loops his arms around Cam's neck, resting his chin on the top of the red hair. For some moments they sit in silence, trying to find into an acurate breathing again and holding onto each other for dear life. When Noel begins to move, Cam tightens his hold. “Stay.“ he breathes, not wanting to let go of his love.  
  
“If we stay here, we'll be unable to move tomorrow. Let's go to the bedroom.“ Noel convinces him, guiding Cam's dick outside his hole and standing back up.  
  
Cameron can see his cum dripping out of his lover, making it's way along his thighs, and fuck if this doesn't bring his own dick to twitching again. But he's too exhausted from this day, he had not considered it would end this way.   
  
After cleaning themselves up, they recognize where the table is now standing, grinning that they moved it for a few meters.  
  
“Lay down. I move it back, clean a little bit up and cuddle up to you then.“ Noel reassures him, kissing him quick on his lips before Cam turns around and gets his ass smacked by his lover from behind.   
  
He picks the scattered tuxes from the floor as he makes his way to the bedroom, thinking back on this whole day. It went from being a desaster to living his dream. Everybody knows now that he is engaged to Noel Fisher. He doesn't have to hide his happiness, he can scream from the top of his lungs in everybody's faces, that he is the luckiest guy on earth.  
  
And damn, is he the luckiest guy on earth!  
  
  
  
  
“Cameron Riley Monaghan, how far has it come, that I hear about your engagement through the press?“ his mother's excited voice shrills through the phone.  
  
It's only 8 am in the fucking morning, but after twenty minutes of the constant buzzing of his phone on the nightstand drawer, there was no way to ignore it any longer.   
  
“Hey mum.“ he greets her tired, noticing that he's alone in the bed. “Sorry, it wasn't planned that way. We wanted to tell you on our dinner on thursday, but after all that went down the last 24 hours, Noel somehow made a spontaneous decision.“  
  
“Yeah, yeah, you can be sure that I'll eat the most expensive things on the menu and you, liar of a son, are going to pay for it!“ she tries to sound furious. But the soft tone of her voice lets him know that she has already forgiven him.  
  
“And you'll even get an ice cream afterwards.“ he smiles, as he swings his legs out of the bed.  
  
“I swear, I'll take four scoops!“ she threatens him.  
  
“I'll pay for five.“ he conters and puts his boxers on.   
  
“And be sure to tell me the _whole_ story. Because if you leave something out and I find it out through the press again, then I swear to god, Cam!“ his mum curses, making Cameron smile. It's cute how she tries to sound enraged, though he knows she can never really be mad at him.  
  
“Pinky promise.“ he pledges and can hear her being pleased with that. “How do you feel about that? Me engaged to Noel?“ Cameron questions after a short moment of silence, while he crosses the room to the door.  
  
“Well,, if I wasn't pissed at you, I would probably tell you that I'm beside myself with joy and happy for you.“ she answers, making Cam smile from ear to ear.  
  
“You would?“ he inquires happily again, heading to the kitchen where some noise is coming from. As he approaches, he can see his man standing infront of the stove only in his boxers, making bacon and eggs. From where Cam is standing he can see Noel's back, espescially his ass. Oh what a sight!   
  
“I would.“ she reassures him. “Alright. I have to go, we'll see you on thursday. If I have some grandchildren, the press but me knows about, give them a kiss. And oh, tell Noel I said hi. Love you. Bye“ she jokes and hangs up before Cam can even reply to her words.  
  
He places his phone on the table and closes the distance to his lover, who is standing with his back to him.   
  
“Morning.“ Cameron whispers into Noel's ears, wrapping his arms around his waist.  
  
Noel instantly reciprocates, letting his head fall back onto Cam's shoulder and humming in pleasure.  
  
“Hey. I made us breakfast.“ Noel tells him, repositioning himself to stir the eggs.   
  
“Mhmmm.. I like that.“ Cam murmurs once again in Noel's ears, before planting a kiss on his fiancé's cheeks and smacking his ass. Noel smiles at that and Cameron starts preparing the table with dishes.  
  
“Who was on the phone?“ Noel asks, while putting the breakfast on their plates and serving it.  
  
“My mum. She was a little upset that she found out about our engagement through the press. But she's also happy for us.“ Cameron replies, taking his seat across from Noel, who stares into his eyes.  
  
“That's good. I mean, that she's happy for us.“ Noel smiles, taking a bite of his eggs.  
  
“Mhmmm.“ Cameron hums in agreement, chewing on his bacon. “Tastes good. Thanks.“ he adds, smiling back at his most favorite man on this planet. “You heard something from your parents too?“ Cam asks, lowering his eyes on the plate. It's still a topic he cant predict Noel’s reaction. It's still difficult to approach it.  
  
“Yeah. They say the same. That they are happy for us and so...“ Noel remarks, shrugging it off as if it's not something special.  
  
“THEY DO?“ Cameron's high voice doesn't hide his perplexity.  
  
“Yeah. I mean, they are surprised that we are already engaged, but appreciate that we came out publicly. After all it was my mother's advice.“ Noel tells him and Cameron is flabbergasted.  
  
“Your mum's _what_?“ he inquires curiously.  
  
“Oh, I haven't told you yet?“ Noel asks, although he knows the answer very well. “She called yesterday and talked to me about how difficult a life full of hiding and lies would be. She convinced me to come out publicly and stand with you. She wants me to be happy and knows that I wouldn't be without you.“   
  
“Wow!“ is all Cameron manages to say, totally taken aback by this statement.  
  
“Yeah.. _wow_!“ Noel agrees.  
  
Cameron doesn't know what else he should say and doesn't know if Noel wants to talk about it any longer, so he switches the topic to another focus. “And Layla?“  
  
Noel looks up at him and locks his gaze. He doesn't say anything until he‘s swallowed down his bite, a smile then forming on his lips. “She congratulated us and thanked me for telling the truth.“  
  
Cameron is happy to see his love smiling, feeling confident. “So you don't regret it? Coming out?“ he asks, holding the gaze.  
  
“It was the best decision of my life!“ Noel reassures him and Cameron's heartbeat speeds up.  
  
God, he'll never stop loving him. No fucking way!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy, when they're happy? :)
> 
> Thank you for leaving kudos and/or comments :-*


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I told you before - a lot of smut is coming.. hehehe :)
> 
> Once again, thank you LuckyShaz for being my beta :-*
> 
> Enjoy! And tell me what you think :)

Cameron can't stop himself from imagining that his lover's ass is probably still full of his cum from the fucking they'd done some moments ago in the toilet room before boarding.  
  
He could no longer bear to see the tension in Noel's body. About three days ago, the realization that they would soon be on the way to Vancouver to celebrate christmas with Noel's parents, hit his fiancé hard. After all it’s the first meeting since the horror trip from about two month ago. Of course Cameron understands that it's an eerie excitement for his partner. So he tries to support him as best as he can, reducing his stress and tension in no other way than pounding the hell out of his man's ass.   
  
So shortly before they entered the plane, Cameron had dragged him into a toilet for handicapped people, where he shoved his cock hard into Noel's tight ring of muscles. He could feel his partner relax more and more with each thrust, and had him gone in less than three minutes.   
  
He thought that it would help them last without sexual tension until they got there. But he hadn't calculated that the thought of if his cum already leaking out of his fiancé's hole and onto his boxer briefs, is going to hunt him and make him rock hard again. He is so turned on, when he thinks about the mess in Noel's pants and that he did this to him, while his future husband sits there half asleep in an airplane full of unknowing people. He wants nothing more than to stick his fingers down the waistband of his boxers and see which one of his theories is true. If Noel is still holding him inside of his inner walls or if he lets him slowly dripping outside.  
  
“Toilet!“ Cameron demands with a low and husky voice, holding Noel back from drifting to sleep.  
  
Noel doesn't seem to get the message, only shifting slightly to make Cameron room for exiting from his seat to the aisle.  
  
“ _No_.“ he whispers into the brunet's ears, who thinks that Cameron is going to take a piss alone. “Toilet. You and me. _Now_!“ he claims in a whisper shout.  
  
Noel rubs his sleepy face with the palm of his hands, before looking a little confused to his side and locking his gaze with Cameron's already lustblown eyes.   
  
“Huh? Here? You really want to fuck on a tiny airplane toilet?“ Noel questions with a low voice.  
  
But shit, if the low and sleepy voice doesn't make Cameron more horny. Innocent and good Noel is hot as fuck! He needs to pound this ass right now.  
  
“We're flying first class. You‘ve never been on a toilet before? It's not that tiny. For what I have planned, I don't need much space.“ Cameron gives him a cheeky smile. “Besides, everybody is sleeping. Nobody will notice. I'll knock the breath out of your lungs and make you cum silently.“ His breath is already ragged and full of lust.  
  
“You just did it one hour ago.“ Noel retorts, not 100% convinced yet.   
  
But there's no way that Cameron is going to budge from his plan. He puts his hand on Noel's dick and starts slowly rubbing it through the fabric of his jeans, his eyes gazing around to make sure that nobody can see Noel's growing errection. “I need to know if you're a good boy or bad.“ he whispers hotly in Noel's ears, feeling his man tremble slightly from pleasure and knowing that he has already won the battle.  
  
“How do you decide whether I'm good or bad?“ Noel forces himself to ask, his lips parted and his eyes half closed, while he buckles his hips into Cameron's ministrations for more pressure.   
  
“If you're holding my cum inside your ass, where it belongs, or if you're letting it drip outside, making a mess out of your boxers, jeans or even this seat.“ the redhead explains, causing a soft moan to escape from Noel's lips.  
  
“ _Fuck_!“ he pants, still thrusting slightly in Cam's hand on his cock. “Wait two minutes and then come after me. I‘ll prepare myself til then.“ Noel tells him and gets up to make his way to the toilet, but is held back by his wrist.  
  
“Don't you dare touch yourself! Let me see what a mess I made before!“ Cameron commands him, and Noel is only able to nod his agreement before he heads through the corridor to the arranged place, hiding his hard on with his hand.  
  
Two minutes. Cameron breathes and starts counting the seconds in his mind. He only makes it to seventeen, when he mutters a inaudible “Fuck it!“ and practically runs after his boyfriend. There is only one woman with open eyes, and she's staring outside the window, so no need to worry.  
  
He whispers Noel's name through the locked door, to let him know that he is here. A second later the door opens and he is pulled inside to a half naked Noel, who immediately crashes their lips together hungrily and locks the door behind Cameron's back again. With his pants and boxers already slipped down to his ankles, Noel starts rubbing his hard and leaking dick against Cameron's still clothed once. Cameron bites down on Noel's shoulder, to muffle his groan with the pullover he has still on.  
  
He is so turned on and doesn't want to waste more time. He needs an answer to the question that haunts his mind since they got on board. So he quickly moves his ring finger to Noel’s crack, searching for his cum. He bites in the crook of his fiancé’s neck when he feels hot drips coming from his hole.  
  
"You’re a bad boy.” Cameron teases him gently, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “I love it.”  
  
“Yeah? You like me bad?“ Noel asks, voice sexy as fuck, while he helps Cameron out of his own jeans and boxers. “Want that bad boy riding your cock?” he flirts, “I need you to teach me, to whom this ass belongs.”  
  
_Jesus christ_. If Cameron wasn't do his best to hold himself from cumming, this statement would have caused him to shoot his load over Noel's ab's and dick, while still rubbing it together with Noel's.  
  
Noel's tension and angst about the upcoming meeting makes him a fucking beast in bed, and Cameron won't complain. Their sex was never filled with nasty sex talk, at least not that much. But _damn_ , if Cam won't enjoy this new development, regardless of where it’s suddenly coming from.  
  
“It’s fucking mine!“ Cam states, his tone low and full of lust. His hands trail up to get a hold of Noel’s full cheeks and lift him up in the air, only to guide him onto his lap on the toilet seat.  
  
He circles his middle and index finger inside the cum leaking hole, satisfied that his lover is still loose enough from before.  
  
Noel bites his lip hard and lets his head fall back, overwhelmed by the heat of the moment.  
  
Knowing that they don't have a lot of time, Cam rams three fingers hard in and out of the hole he loves the most, while the other hand starts pumping Noel's cock. Noel is gone at the double stimulation, keeping his balance with both hands on the wall behind Cameron's head.  
  
“So hard for me, baby.” Cam murmurs breathlessly. “Need you to sit on my dick. Need that throbbing cock bobbing up and down on me. Come on, get the fuck on me!” he demands.  
  
Noel positions himself then, taking Cam's cock in his hand to slide down between his cheeks with one quick move. He throws his head back the second he feels Cam's cock filling him up. "Fuck, fuck, fuck,  _Cam_ -" Noel's words are cut by a moan coming deeply out of his throat as he bounces on his fiancé's lap.   
  
Cameron gasps loudly when Noel drops down particularly hard. It's like torture, staying silent when all he wants to do is scream due to the pleasure he is being given. While he isn't allowed to make much noise and let the pleasure out that way, he for sure has to move. With his hands bunched into Noel's flesh, his hips sporadically thrust up again, and again. "God yeah baby. So tight for me. So _good_." It's fucking filthy, the way he breathes those words into Noel's ear. But all Noel can do is moan again in return, moving his hips slightly quicker.  
  
By the time Noel settles into a good rhythm, Cam has the feeling that the toilet is shaking uncontrollably with them, or least making some jolting noises. Anyone passing by could probably guess what's going on. But the fact that someone could possibly hear the babbling mess he's turning Noel into, turns him on even more.   
  
Noel's movements don't lose their grace, when he decides to rock his hips harder. His hands are still pressed against the wall behind Cameron's head, his forehead dripping with sweat. He's working Cameron's dick fast, hard and deep, because they can't occupy the room much longer. Cam knows that, so he starts shifting beneath him. The new angle has the tip of his cock jabbing into Noel's prostate. The brunet closes his eyes, trying to deal with the crippling wave of pleasure that wracks down his spine. " _Cam_ ," He says the name like it's a sin, breathless and high at the same time. "Touch me, Cam... Plesse touch me. _Fuck_.“  
  
Holy shit, a needy Noel is a lot to deal with, it turns Cameron inside and out. He wants to savour this, wants it to last for a bit longer. “No.“ His answer is clear, although he pants it breathlessly between low moans. His hands on his lover's hips support his movements and cling onto him for dear life. He looks between their sticky stomachs and sees the beauty of Noel's thick, red dick bobbing up and down. God, he himself won't last any longer.  
  
“Please, I need it so bad. Need to come. Gonna fucking come." Noel's voice is wrecked, pleading for release. It intensifies the prickling in Cameron's gut, making it almost unbearably beautiful.  
  
A sob follows another out of Noel's mouth, as his thighs tremble, the muscles under the soft flesh burning with exertion. Noel is so close, Cameron can taste it. His lower body moving faster yet, causing his dick to constantly hit Cameron's abs, leaving a line of precum on it.   
  
He wants Noel to experience an orgasm that sends him over the moon and back, an orgasm, that makes him forget about all the sorrows and fears he carries with him because of the meeting. An orgasm, that is so intensive, that it knocks Noel's breath out of his lungs. And he knows how to get it.  
  
"No.  _Fuck_ , you're gonna come just like this. Just from riding my cock. Come on, baby!" His fingers are digging hard into the plump mounds of Noel's ass, as his own thrusts become more haphazard.   
  
Noel barley manages to suppress the pathetic little noises that tumble down from his mouth, kissing Cam wet, messy and hard to muffle them slightly as he keeps himself adjusted in that position which abuses the life out of his prostate. It's all too much for them both as they move hard and fast in sync, skin rubbing sticky against skin, breathing exchanged heavily into the other's mouth, tongues exploring greedily.  
  
Cameron can't think straight anymore, he loses himself in his boyfriend and never wants to be found. The way Noel blankets his body and covers him with kisses makes the thought of being anywhere but inside of him entirely unappealing. He is pretty sure he will never get over how incredible it is to have Noel riding him. When Cameron throws his head back in pleasure, Noel sucks his neck and when he begins to pant, Noel comes up and catches the exhalations in his mouth.   
  
The shivering from Noel runs over to Cam, letting both men tremble with pleasure. The last moments of their love act has begun, and Cam is eager to savour each of them.  
  
"Feel you fucking throbbing inside me." Noel whispers as he continues to bounce up and down, "C'mon, shoot it deep!“ he urges, resting his hands on freckled cheeks and staring deep into green eyes. "Give it to me. I need to feel it."  
  
Sure enough, it doesn't take much more for Cameron to blow his load, the way Noel starts to constrict around him, throwing him with each punishing up and down motion right towards the edge. Hot ropes of his come are filling Noel, as a single raspy word leaves his mouth, followed by a howl. " _Noel_."  
  
"Cam, fuck. Cam, Cam, Cam- _Aaaaah FUCK_." Cameron watches Noel's eyes roll back at the sensation and licks his lips, right before his fiancé stands up and pushes his dick into Cameron's mouth to shoot his load.  
  
Noel bites hard into his fist, to stuffle his scream as his orgasm takes control of him, shivering and shuddering as each sensation knocks the air right out of his lungs. He comes hard and Cameron closes his eyes, swallowing what Noel has to give.   
  
Fuck, how he craves for this taste! There's nothing better than to see, smell, hear, feel and taste Noel all at once. His hunger satisfied for at least some hours.  
  
When Cam is sure he swallowed it all, he opens his mouth and lets Noel slip out. The brunet immediately leans down and crashes his lips onto his lover's, the heat subsiding within the kiss, leaving both of them spent and exhausted.  
  
Noel breaks the kiss, a smirk playing at the corner of his lips, “ _God_ Monaghan, watch carefully where your cum is going this time, cause I won't survive another round!“ causing Cameron to laugh out loud.  
  
  
  
  
(NOEL'S POV)  
  
Their way out of the gate and through the airport to the waiting driver, is a little stressed. Since they came out in public, they are the most photographed couple in the US. Paparazzis have been covering them around the clock since then. It‘s stressful and exhausting, both only want to enjoy their life and daily routine undisturbed, though it‘s still better than Noel had expected it to be.  
  
They get a lot of congratulations and appreciation, for being so courageous to take this step. Fans let them know that they have their support and tell them that they’ve never seen a more wonderful and powerful love than theirs. That their love could already be seen on the TV, as the sparks formally sprang over to real life. Former work colleagues are calling to congratulate them as well, wishing them all the best for their life together.  
  
The producers of their upcoming projects stay in the background. Both have only called once to congratulate them and to clarify their following schedules. No scorn, no blame that their coming out could have possible consequences for the films.  
  
Noel's really happy about that, although the worry about their future remains. He loves his job, and he can tell Cameron does as well. Both need the challange of complicated, big and great roles. They don't want their privacy to influence their profession. Gay or not, it doesn't make them a better or worse actor. They remain as talented as before they came out, and Noel really hopes that most of the producers will recognize that too.  
  
He turns around, to see Cameron walking two steps behind him with his hood pulled down his face, so as not to be recognized. Noel himself tries to hide his face with his hat pulled down. It's night and there are only a few people at the airport. At least much less than during the day. He and Cameron didn't take the night flight for nothing. They have hardly been able to escape the paparazzis in LA in the past weeks, which is why it's very important for them to keep this trip to Vancouver out of the public. They need a break for some days. So they can't hurry quickly enough through the airport to the uber, which is waiting to take them to Noel's parents' house just a little outside the city.  
  
It seems, like they make their way unrecognized and scurry into the car, closing the doors inmediately behind them. Only when the driver starts driving and brings some distance between the airport and them does Noel breathe more easily.  
  
He has always managed to keep his past and his present far from the public. Will he be able to do the same for his future with Cameron? He really hopes so. Maybe after some time, the press finds something else to write and talk about. But perhaps they have to give an interview before that, answer some questions and then let it slowly drift to a less interesting level without escapades or other things that could turn the attention back to them.  
  
So in the last weeks, he once more realized how much he wants an intimate and private wedding. He doesn't need a lot of people, doesn't need a huge place to celebrate the ceremony, doesn't need a lot of material things or decoration for his marriage. No. He only needs Cameron.   
  
With the thought about their wedding, he starts fumbling around in his backpack, searching for the christmas present he bought for his lover. He exhales deeply, when he finds it.  
  
“You okay?“ Cameron asks, turning his face to look into Noel's eyes.  
  
“Yeah. Am fine. Only tired.“ he answeres and gives Cameron a peck on his lips.  
  
He lets go of the box in his hand and closes the backpack again. He gets a little nervous everytime he thinks about giving Cameron his present, because he doesn't know how the younger man is going to react.  
  
Cameron bought him this beautiful ring, which he can't take off since Cam proposed to him. And his fiancé did it to make a statement. A statement that should remind Noel, that he loves him and won't leave, everytime he looks at it. The ring does its job. Besides that it sets off fireworks in Noel's body, everytime his eyes land on his left ringfinger. It's so much more than just an engagement ring. That's why Noel can't deal with the fact that Cameron wants to buy new rings for their wedding. The new ones should have their wedding dates engraved and each others names. But Noel doesn't want to wear two rings, he isn't someone who wears a lot of jewellery. One is enough and perfect. And there's no way he's ever going to lay this one off. So for him, there was only one possibility: Get Cameron a ring, that goes along with his. That has the answer to his statement engraved.  
  
He hopes Cam will like it, that it will have the same impact on him, than the ring has on Noel. They will soon see tomorrow on christmas.  
  
Noel hasn't recognized that he‘s biting hard on his bottom lip, until Cameron frees it with his thumb. “Hey, it's okay to be nervous. I am too. But it won't change a thing, remember?“  
  
Since Noel can't tell him about the ring, he nods his agreement and nestles himself in Cameron's outstretched arm. His back is pressed against Cam's side, a long giraffe arm pulling him deeper to the comfortable warmth of his love while the other one strokes his hair back, massaging his scalp.   
  
“Mhmmm“ Noel lets out, a smile spreading over his face, as he closes his eyes to lose himself in this feeling.  
  
“Hey babe, don't fall asleep on me. I won't know when the driver takes us to your parents' house or a lonesome forest where he wants to bury our parts.“ Cameron whispers smirking into Noel's ears.  
  
“The fuck, Monaghan?! Told you that shooting 'Amtyville' was a bad idea for your mental health!“ Noel chuckles and reaches for Cameron's hand which is tangled in his hair, to press five soft kisses onto it. “Love you.“ he mumbles, before he closes his eyes again, happy that the uber already smells like Cameron. Fuck, how he loves that scent!  
  
“Don't say it as if it's the last time!“ Cam warns, and Noel can only laugh about his dork of a boyfriend. How he makes every situation so much better.  
  
  
  
  
Another good thing about booking a night flights is that there's probably no one awake at 3:36am. Noel is very relieved about that, because this means he has got some more hours, before the confrontation he fears the most, happens.  
  
The panic, about what is going to come, started rising three days ago. Before that he was very talented at shutting the upcoming meeting out of his mind. But since the realization of the inevitable started creeping in his brain, he’s been an emotional wreck. His hands seem to work on their own, while his legs seem give out. Not to mention his ever trembling body.   
  
Thankfully his fiancé has noticed his misery and gives him some breaks by pounding the hell out of his ass. That helps. _A lot_. But unfortunately not in the long run. That's why the thoughts about his mother and the power of her words keep haunting him afterwards again and the need for round two and three increases.  
  
Noel knows that she's sorry. She apologises a lot, and keeps telling him how much she regrets her words. He doubts that she'll be so dumb as to confront him with Layla or her thoughts about Cam's and his relationship again. But what if she makes some subliminal remarks? Or lets her eyes say more than a thousand words? He is prepared to take the hurt for himself, but he couldn't stand if she is going to hurt Cameron like this. No way he would ever let someone hurt his beloved redhead. No _fucking_ way.  
  
So Noel isn't really afraid of some words that may be spoken. He is afraid of the uncomfortable silence, that may speak for itself..  
  
But right _now_ , he is thankful for the quiet that fills the house. That means everybody is sleeping, and they can get at least some more time alone.  
  
They both tiptoe through the house and into Noel's old room, closing the door behind them. Noel exhales a deep breath.  
  
The room is small but cozy. It's the same as Noel remembers it the last time he was visiting for longer holidays. Posters from prior film projects and articles about him, which his mother cut out and put into frames, are hanging on the wall.  
  
From the corner of his eyes, Noel can see Cameron smiling and he focuses his attention on the redhead in his room.   
  
“What?“ he asks.  
  
“It's cute. The room. Just like I thought your room would be. Decent.“ Cameron replies, wrapping his arms around Noel's waist from behind and pressing a kiss in the crook of his neck. Noel immediately tilts his head, giving Cam more space.   
  
“You okay? _Here_?“ Cam mumbles between kisses into his skin.  
  
Noel nods, a sigh escaping his lips. “Just tired.“ he answers, as he is turned around by his hips and kissed passionately on his lips. It lasts some moments of silence, before Cameron breaks it. “Then let's get your lazy ass to bed!“  
  
“Pff.. after all this ass did for you today, you call it lazy? Really Monaghan? Shame on you!“ Noel jokes, stripping down to his boxers and laying under the blankets. Cameron follows immediately, clinging onto Noel's body, pressing his stomach onto Noel's back.  
  
“Just promise me, that whatever will happen these next few days, you're not going to push me away or shut me out. Okay?“ Cameron asks only in a whisper into Noel's ear, causing him to shudder.   
  
This is when Noel realizes, that as much as Noel was hurt by the words of his mum, _he_ hurt Cameron the same. And as much as he needed a statement from Cameron some weeks ago at the beach, Cameron needs such a promise _now_.   
  
So he crawls out of the bed again and to his backpack, opening it and searching for the box with the ring.  
  
“Noel? What are you doing?“ Cameron wants to know, after he is left in the bed perplexed.   
  
“I think it's time for your christmas gift.“ he answers and hands his lover the box. Cam sits up immediately, leaning his body on the headboard. Noel gets back in bed, sitting across from his fiancé and watching him nervously.  
  
“Now? Why not on christmas eve tomorrow?“ Cam asks, but is already starts fumbling with the box.  
  
“Because I want to give it to you alone and the time just feels right, now.“ is the answer from the brunet, who encourages his boyfriend with a nod, to open it.  
  
Cameron obliges and opens the box to find a plain silver ring in it. A ring that looks similar to Noel's. A smile spreads over Cameron's lips as he takes it out carefully, his eyes inspecting it precisely until he finds what he is looking for. “I can't get him out of my head“ he reads and finally looks up at Noel with a happy smile.   
  
“That's _my_ favorite _Ian_ line.“ Noel smiles. “ _And_ it's the answer to the engraved line in my ring.“  
  
Cameron stares from Noel's eyes to the ring and back, causing Noel to feel a little nervous since Cam hasn't said anything about his present yet.   
  
“You like it?“ the older man questions insecure, taking his bottom lip between his teeth.   
  
The answer comes immediately, with Cameron throwing himself on his lover, attacking his lips with his tongue, pleading for entrance. Noel let's him in, melting into the kiss, which feels like an electro shock vibrating through every vein in his body, washing the tiredness out of him.  
  
But as soon as they find an accurate rhythm for their tongues to play, Cameron breaks the kiss, his forehead and nose still touching Noel's. “I _love_ it.“ he whispers, and Noel's heartbeat speeds up instantly, butterflies making their way through his whole body.   
  
They share a kiss again, but this time it's not rushed. It's simple, but it says more than most words ever could. The passion is clear, but the underlying emotion is so much stronger, purer than most things on this world.  
  
_LOVE_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Nicrenkel for giving me the idea for the engraving :-*
> 
> Next time - the big meeting *uh oh*
> 
> Thank you for leaving kudos and/or comments 
> 
> *mwah*


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> Sorry for the delay, I was on vacation. Hope I'll make it back to posting weekly again.
> 
> Okay, so some of you guys asked, why I refer to Noel as 'brunet'. It's not that I don't know that he's a ginger/blonde. I just wanted to give this fic a little Mickey touch, pretend that Noel likes his Mickey hair and just didn't change it ;) But because I try to stay as close to reality as possible, I have decided to change it - in the next chapter! So in this chapter, Noel is still brunet - one last time :)
> 
> Enjoy!

Noel's eyes blink open, the sunlight flooding his room. He needs some moments to remember that he isn't at home in bed with his beloved redhead. Well... he _is_ in his bed with his beloved redhead, but not in _their_ bed in LA. With the realization about where he actually is, his heart speeds up, adrenalin shooting through his veins and making him unable to fall back to sleep. Not even the heavy breathing from Cam has a calming effect on him.  
  
He rubs his hands over his face, before staring at the clock hanging above the door. 6:16am. He hasn't slept long enough for the confrontation, he definitely needs more power and energy for _that_. That's why he approximates his boyfriend who is still deeply asleep and cuddles himself from the back to the warm body, which exudes the pleasant smell of security and cohesion. He buries his face in Cameron's neck and breathes deeply, slowly in and out. It's almost frightening what effect this man has on him. All but automatically, his pulse regulates and he calms down. His tense muscles relax and his limbs become limp again, slinging slackly over Cameron's sleeping body.  
  
A bit of sleep. Only a little more sleep, and after that they'll get through the day together.  
  
The clatter of dishes snaps him out of his dreams again and the vioces of his parents definitely make him fully awake. Now there's really no going back to sleep anymore. Obviously his boyfriend stirs awake too, taking Noel's hand from his stomach into his own hands and guiding it to his lips. "Good morning." he whispers, while he interwines their fingers and places soft kisses on each of Noel's fingers.  
  
"Morning." he retorts, kissing a line up from between Cam's shoulder blades to his hairline and back down, before the younger man  turns around and returns the kisses. He starts at Noel's collarbones and ends at the ticklish skin under the ears. The older man purrs in satisfaction, closing his eyes again to savour the feeling. Just as he feels his dick twitching in anticipation and wants to give in, Cameron stops."Think it's time to get up." he whispers, while biting fondly into Noel's earlobe.  
  
"Is this a new addiction of yours? Making me horny just to turn me down?" Noel asks with a semi erect dick in his boxers.  
  
"No." Cam answers lowly, grabbing Noel's neck and pulling him up for an affectionate kiss.  
  
"That doesn't help, Cam!" Noel tells him, while his mouth seems to reciprocate on his own, opening for Cam to enter.  
  
"I know. Sorry. Just wanted to make the beginning of your day better, before the meeting destroys your mood. You need to relax." Cam mumbles, when their tongues play allows him to speak.  
  
"Okay. But I won't have sex with you in this house while my mum and dad are outside preparing breakfast for us." Noel answers, his fully stiff dick pressing hard into Cameron's thighs, while Cameron's is doing the same. Great. Now the fucker got both of them hard.   
  
"We don't need to have sex." Cam whispers with a cocky smile, before his hand slips into Noel's boxers and grabs his cock.  
  
Noel immediately lets a heavy sigh escape his parted lips, before he bites vigorously on them to keep another and louder one from falling. Opening his lustfilled eyes and recognizing that Cameron's other hand is in his own boxers stroking his dick, doesn't help to stay quiet. Especially not when Cameron looks fucking hot, moaning his name almost inaudibley.  
  
He clenches his fist and puts it into his mouth while Cameron jerks both of them off.  
  
   
  
  
He feels his heart beating fast in his veins, while they step up closer to the kitchen, where his mum and dad are sitting on the table eating breakfast. As Noel's dad sees them approaching, a smile spreads over his face making his mum look up at them too and give them the same reaction.  
  
There's no way back from here.  
  
“Noel, Cameron, hey!“ she greets them as she gets up and hugs Noel immediately. Noel freezes in his actions, unable to put his arms around her too while she caresses his back during the embrace. Noel suddenly feels a lot of emotions coming over him and tries to hold back the tears that come along with them.  
  
Pain and relief it's what describes his feelings best now. He bites on his bottom lip and finally embraces her back.  
  
Before he nuzzles his head in the crook of her neck, he can see his father pulling Cam into a quick hug.  
  
Some moments of silence pass where only sobs and sighs from his mother and himself are audible, before his mum disengages herself from him to step up to Cameron.  
  
He can hear her whispering in a whiny-voice “I'm sorry“ before his redhead is pulled into a long and tight hug too. This brings a new steam of tears to brim over his eyes, while he is embraced by his father who also apologizes for everything that happened last time.  
  
After some more wistful and heavy moments they all pull apart simultaneously, red rimmed eyes in all of their faces.  
  
“Merry christmas!“ Cameron breaks the silence, making everyone laugh at the comedy of situation.  
  
Noel laughs his last tears away and ruffles one hand through Cameron's hair, before he quickly pecks him on the lips.  
  
“Merry christmas, sweetheart.“ his mum directs at him, turning once again to his fiancé. “Merry christmas, Cameron! I'm so happy that you are here!“ she says and smiles at him, immediately earning a smile from Cam back.  
  
“So guys, sit down and take some breakfast! Coffee? You must be tired after you came here that late.“ his dad tries to switch the topic.  
  
Both men nod in agreement to the coffee question, taking a seat next to each other and opposite Noel's parents. His mum is busy serving them ham and eggs, while some other delicious things are already placed on the table: pancakes, syrup, tomatoes, cucumbers, jam, cheese, ham, cream cheese, bananas, mangos, avocados, bread, crossaints and granola.  
  
Yup, his mum definitely still feels guilty!  
  
“Mhmm... that looks delicious, Mrs. Fisher.“ Cameron tells her, with a big smile on his face, his eyes already eating all of that.  
  
Noel sees his mum approaching them from behind, standing between their seats. “Please, call me Susan.“ she offers, caressing Cameron's back. “You are part of this family now.“  
   
Noel notices his boyfriend blushing, muttering a low “Thanks“ while he takes his hand to squeeze it lightly. Maybe this vacation is going to be better than suspected.  
  
His mum circles the table to sit across them. “Now boys, tell me everything about the proposal. Who did it? Who's the _man_?“  
  
Or maybe _not_...  
  
  
  
  
“You need something from the mall?“ his mother asks them, already in a hurry for all the preparation that need to be done for tonight.  
   
“No thanks, everything's fine!“ Noel replies, rounding the christmas tree, he has positioned with Cam in the middle of the room. The honor is dued to them to decorate it for tonight.  
  
“Alright. So we‘ll try to get a hold of probably the last turkey in the mall, and see you later guys. In the meantime, behave!“ Noel's dad winks at them, causing his son to look to the ground embarassed, while the redhead laughs out loud. “God _dad_. Just... leave, _please_!“  
  
Aware of the embarrassment, his mum pushes his dad out of the door, waving them goodbye one last time and closing the door behind them.  
  
Noel exhales heavily, he can feel his cheeks glowing. It's like he's a teenager again, bringing his first girlfriend back home and making his parents proud and skeptical at the same time.  
  
He shakes his head. _God_ it's so awkward!  
  
“You're cute.“ Cameron tells him, with a whimsical smirk on his lips, while he hangs a red christmas ball ornament on the tree. “ _They_ are cute.“  
  
“Ugh, Monaghan, you're talking about my parents!“ Noel retorts as if he is nauseated, picking up a green ball from the box.  
  
“ _Cameron_. I'm part of the family now. Forgot?!“ Cameron teases him, closing the distance between them and wrapping his arms around Noel's waist from behind. Noel's body tenses up, as his lover presses kisses in the crook of his neck, while his flaccid cock applies pressure on his ass.   
  
“Mhmmm“ he can't suppress the moan that escapes his throat, although he established a rule “You know what I said about sex in this house.“ he reminds his fiancé of their talk in the bed this morning.  
  
“Of course I do. But you said 'I won't have sex with you in this house, while _my mum and dad_ are outside'. Sooo... your parents are gone, your rule is lapsed!“ Cameron explains matter of factly.  
  
“Oh okay Mr. wise guy, so you make the rules now?“ Noel asks, already turned on by Cameron's hardening cock, that‘s gliding up and down his clothed ass.  
  
“Yeah. As a new family member I should at least be able to establish _one_ rule.“ Cam replies cocky, breathing hot and heavy into Noel's ear, making his hairs stand. Cameron slides one hand into the waistband of Noels boxers and starts palming his semi erect dick. Noel squeezes his eyes shut, letting his head drop onto Cameron's shoulder, his breathing shuddering through his wide opened mouth while he moves in sync with the rolling of his lover's hips.  
  
“And what's that, Red?“ Noel's voice is on the edge of trembling, surpassed by low moaning coming from his mouth.  
  
“Suck my dick, whenever I want!“ Cameron tells him, bossy and _fuck_ if this doesn't do prickling things to him.  
  
“You‘re really pulling _Ian Gallagher_ on me now?“ Noel asks with a smirk on his lustful parted lips.  
  
“Yep. Is it working?“ Cameron tightens his grip, making Noel gasp for some air.  
  
“Fuck, _yeah_!“ is almost punched out of his throat, before he turns around in Cameron's arms and attaches their lips in a hungry kiss. “We have to be fast. The christmas tree needs to be ready, when they come back, or otherwise my parents will know that we didn't obey their orders.“  
  
“And that's just because you're such a bad boy, Noel!“ Cameron smiles into their kisses, while he is pushed backwards onto the couch. He sits there, looking painfully hot, waiting for Noel to crawl onto his lap.  
  
“ _Me_? You're the one who started this!“ he defends himself, already tossing his own shirt away, and stepping out of his jeans and boxers, before helping his lover to do the same.  
  
“No! I can’t fight it, you turn me on so fucking much, going up and down in front of me with that perfect ass. And bending down to get christmas ball ornaments out of the box made me fucking horny! Everytime when you are around my cock's always semi hard, do you know that this is beyond bearable for me?! Living with constant stiffness.“ Cameron explains himself, making Noel moan at the thought of his boyfriend always hard for him.  
  
Noel takes one last admiring look up and down Cam's perfect naked body, not noticing that he licks his lips while he does so, before he straddles his hips and leans down for another searing kiss. Tongues move hungrily together and salvia is smeared all around their lips. But it's not enough. With Cameron it's never enough. He needs more.  
  
With the gorgeous image of the sight from before in his head, he starts rocking his hips, bringing some nice friction between their cocks. Cameron's big hands are immediately there on his ass, kneading his flesh and supporting his movements back and forth.  
  
Noel is gone, the pleasure takes over him and he bites hard on Cameron's bottom lip, who breaks the kiss instantly. Green eyes looking determind with lustblown pupils into Noel's own dazed blue ones, “Suck my dick!“ the redhead demands once again, placing his hands on Noel's head and guiding him down.  
  
Fuck, a bossy Cameron is definitely his weakness and he obeys immediately. He entangles his body from Cameron and slides over Cameron's legs to his left. Still on the couch he's on his knees, his face ghosting over Cameron's leaking cock, who sighs heavily at the sight of Noel's ass up in the air.  
  
Noel’s mouth waters, hungry for the precum drops that pool at the tip of his lover’s length. Cameron’s taste brings everything in him to a thrill, although it’s already familiar to him. There’s nothing in this world, he craves more to have on his tongue. He can’t hold back, he needs to suck the sweet and salty liquid out of it.  
  
He opens his mouth and swallows him down with one move, letting the tip touch his throat. He notices Cameron’s trembling thighs and his shaking arms, that try to find a hold on his body. One hand finds it’s way over his back to Noel’s side, while the other grabs strains of brunet hair. “Oh _fuck_ , Noel, fuck, fuck, fuck!“ Cameron’s praises make his own dick twitch.  
  
He licks his way back up, stopping at the head of his fiancé’s cock, only to let his tongue circle it a few times, while his hand holds the base firmly. He then lets his tongue wander to the slit, where he starts sucking aggressively, humming his satisfaction when he gets what he wants out of it.  
  
Cameron already seems gone, based on how his body reacts to Noel’s touches. He hisses and whines, while his body shakes and aches in pleasure. The grip in his hair and on his side is strong, Noel is sure it’ll leave red marks on his body. But he can’t complain, not when he is the reason why Cam needs something to ground himself.  
  
Jesus, he tastes so good and the feeling of his salvia mixed with Cam’s stickyness in his mouth, lets him moan around the erection. The vibrations seem to expand around the redhead’s cock, making Cam buckle his hips and thrust his cock deep down Noel’s throat. Noel swallows the delicious precome down, happy that Cameron throbs inside of him, while he bobs his head up and down Cam’s shaft.  
  
“Oh my fucking _god_!“ Cam moans and Noel feels his hand wander from his side to his ass, where he starts kneading the flesh, while Noel tries to give him the blowjob of his life. The skin where Cameron is touching him, seems to be on fire and the brunet needs some moments to get used to it. Before he is able to understand what’s happening, he feels the first finger, coated with what must be Cameron's salvia, entering his hole.  
  
“ _Shit_!“ he lets go of his boyfriend’s dick to try catching his breath, which becomes shallow. But fingering Noel, while Noel’s tongue slides up and down his shaft, leaves marks also on Cameron. He stammers some words beyond recognition, but it could also be that Noel is too far gone to understand them.

 “Oh my.. Oh fuck… Oh yeah.. Shit, Noel, _shit_!“  
  
He doesn’t get more, because the second finger is pushing inside of his tight ring of muscles, circling his hole from inside. Cam starts playing around, stretching him and scissoring his fingers, earning some low groans around his own cock, which makes him shake in response.  
  
Noel sucks harder, adapting his pace of sucking up and down to match Cameron’s thrusting inside his hole. They are surrounded by noises of pure pleasure, both sounding as if their orgasms aren’t far from taking over. Noel is hardly able to focus on the blowjob anymore with Cameron’s fingers blowing his mind away, so that he sometimes forgets to breathe. He can’t do it anymore, wants to lose himself in this wonderful feeling of having Cameron inside his mouth and inside his ass. “Fuck my face!“ he demands, when he lets go of the throbbing cock for a second.  
  
Just as the words are out of his mouth, he can see a shivering wave going through Cameron’s body, bringing every muscle of his lover to swing. Cameron lets out a raspy noise as he nods his head in agreement, unable to form a single word. Noel guesses that a bossy Noel is also Cameron’s weakness.  
  
The younger man starts immediately propping himself up on his hands and lifting his ass, to slam his cock hard and fast into Noel’s waiting mouth. With the start, the third finger gets added, all of them thrusting in and out in a matching pace to the dick that‘s filling his mouth.  
  
“Oh Noel. Just... just... look at you. Fucking perfection, taking my cock so good. So fucking perfect.“ Cam mumbles, his eyes wandering from his cock that‘s disappearing in Noel’s mouth, to his fingers disappeaingr in Noel’s ass. This view must be overwhelming, because Cameron sounds like a complete wreck, his gasping heavy and shallow.  
  
If Cameron keeps that pace and flintiness, Noel is going to comburst any second, especially since the long fingers of his partner start jabbing his prostate. He tries to concentrate on the breathing through his nose, while his mouth and ass is getting fucked harshly by his lover. Cameron is relentless, not giving him any moment to recover. But it's good. _Fuck_ , it's so good. It's like Noel wants it, Cameron just taking from him what he needs.  
  
He feels salvia and precome dripping from his chin and feels wetness around his hole. He's ready. _God_ , he's so fucking ready for this dick to split him in two. “I need to ride that cock!“ he demands, as he lets go of it with a plop, Cameron's fingers slipping out of him, making him groan in protest.  
  
“Fucking do it then!“ Cam replies, greedy for more as he helps his lover to get back on his lap. This time though, Noel doesn't face him and climbs with his back to Cameron, both legs bent on each side of Cam's trembling thighs.  
  
Noel turns his head around, one hand finding it's way to Cameron's neck, to pull him into a heated kiss. His lover goes for his tongue as if he's starving, sucking on it like Noel did some moments ago with Cam's cock. That doesn't help the brunet calm his nerves, instead it makes him even more impatient. So he guides Cameron's rock hard nine inches to his waiting hole and slides down in one swoop.   
  
“Oh my...“ is all he is able to get out, simultaneous to Cameron's 'fuck's', that slip through his parted lips, while their foreheads are still connected.  
   
But Noel doesn't take some time to adjust to this feeling. He starts slamming down onto the cock again and again, going faster with each movement. He isn't able to think anymore, the lust and pleasure have taken control of him, making him act on instinct. And his instinct screams for release, like the young man screaming behind him.   
  
Noel's dick feels like it's ready to shoot his load, with every hit on the couch. It's bouncing neglected up and down infront of him, while one of his hands still holds Cameron's neck tightly and the other one is stemmed against the couch for leverage. Cameron's hands are clinging around his waist, helping him with his up and down movements.  
  
Noel's face is still turned to his lover and the look they share is beyond love and pleasure. It's pure need. Right now, they need their bodies to help each other find release. And they need to find it quick, because Noel doesn't know how long he can take this amorous play anymore. That's when Cameron shifts beneath him and he slams down, right onto that sweet spot inside of him.  
  
“Fuck, yeeeees!“ he cries out, pulling Cameron into another sloppy kiss. The younger man just sits there, and lets his cock get worked out, his moans getting louder with every movement.  
  
Noel is damn happy, that they don't have neighbours in the immediate vicinity and lets Cameron and himself scream with passion. The fast and permanent pressure on his prostate, combined with the sweet stretching of Cameron's cock inside his hole, lets him see stars. He is exhausted and only wants to finish, the pleasure almost too painful to bear. His rock hard cock pulsates, begging for some friction to ejaculate.  
  
He then stops with his up and down movements and starts circling his hips, making them both shudder at the new sensation. “Holy shit, Noel“ Cam mumbles with his eyes squeezed shut.  
  
Noel slows down with every rotation of his hips, but that doesn't hold them from getting closer to the edge. “Make me cum!“ Noel begs and freezes completely in his actions, his body falling limb against Cameron's chest.  
  
“Alright,“ Cam breathes “how do you want to finish?“   
  
Noel doesn't need to think twice. He knows how he wants it. “I want you from behind.“ he tells him in a low voice, still breathless from his workout before. He needs Cameron to be relentless again, bending him over the back of the couch and jack hammering into him.  
  
And that's exactly what Cameron does. He pushes him off his cock and turns him around, Noel's chest bent over the back of the couch. Cameron positions himself behind him and between Noel's spread legs and thrusts his cock back in, instantly hitting his prostate again.  
  
“Please“ is the only word that slips through Noel's lips, his need for some release even bigger than before. “Go hard“ he tells him and Cameron immediately obeys. He is fucking into him so fast, hard and deep, the position makes him graze on Noel's prostate with every thrust. Noel is losing control. This angle feels so good, it feels fucking amazing.  
  
Noel can feel Cameron's sweat trickling down his back, as he thrusts harder and faster with determination. The brunet is hissing loudly, grabbing onto the couch until his knuckles turn white. He moves his head left and right, the pleasure too intense, completely taking over his body.  
  
“Do it!“ he dictates “Make me fucking cum. I need to cum, god _please_!“   
  
Cameron grabs Noel's dick and starts jerking him off without slowing down his movements. “Close. Be careful to catch everything and not let it drip onto the couch!“ Noel reminds his fiancé, before he gives into the pleasure and screams as he comes so hard he goes temporarily blind. Noel convulses violently while he continues to moan loudly, his spent cock jerking in the redhead's hand, where all his cum is pooled. He continues to shudder while still moaning and breathing heavily. Cameron continues with his thrusting, but is carefully avoiding his prostate.   
  
Noel feels his hole contracting around his lover, driving him insane. “Noel, fuck, oh fuuuuuuuck!“ are Cameron's last words, before he coats his inner walls with white ribbons.  
  
Cam slows down completely and collapses onto his back. Noel can feel him smiling in his neck, while both of them try to regenerate their breaths. With his own eyes shut, his breathing still fast and his legs still trembling, a smile spreads over his face too.  
  
Oh what a wonderful christmas!  
  
  
  
“This is how it should be!“ Cameron blurts out, after they’ve dressed again and started decorating the tree again.  
  
“What do you mean?“ Noel wants to know. He picks the balls carefully from the box and hands them to the taller man. With Cam he doesn't need a ladder anymore, the giraffe arms do their job very well.  
  
“ _This_!“ Cam explains, gesticulating between them. “Us. Decorating the christmas tree, after the children have gone to bed, and after a grand sex and make out session!“ Cameron smiles his cheeky smile Noel adores the most.  
  
But Noel doesn't have the time to deify him, because this statement takes him by surprise. His heart skips a beat and he freezes in his actions to hand some more decoration to his partner. Some moments pass, where he just stares at this beautiful, soft hearted young man he has fallen deeply for.  
  
Is Cameron really referring to their own kids? Yeah, they've already talked about it, but it was only theoretically. And somehow Cameron's words now seem so _real_. Like the future isn't far from reality.  
  
Before Noel can really understand Cameron's words, he already feels tears welling up and tries to blink them away. No. He'll not cry again. This day is already emotional enough and it isn't even christmas eve.  
  
“Noel?“ Cameron tears him from his train of thoughts. “I'm sorry, if I've taken you by surprise. I was just thinking out lou-“  
  
Noel's body finally seems able to react to him again and reaches forward to grab Cameron's face with both hands and crashes their lips together.  
  
This kiss is much less heated than the others before, but definitely not less loving. But Cameron breaks it.  
  
“Seriously Noel, I didn't want to push-“  
  
“Shut up you tall ginger idiot, and kiss me!“ Noel demands and pulls his boyfriend into another kiss.   
  
Cameron smiles into the kiss and Noel knows, that his lover understands what it means.  
  
It means: Yeah, this is _definitely_ how it should be!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well.. MERRY CHRISTMAS :D 
> 
> Because it's hard for me to get into christmas mood in septermber, I skip the christmas evening with Noel's family. The next chapter will pick up a few days after christmas. But imagine them having a good time with Noel's parents, because they really try to make up for the last time they've met. They really like Cam and try to be good parents-in-law ;)
> 
> Thank you for leaving kudos and/or comments! They are highly appreciated :)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so now Noel's back to blonde again ;) But don't picture him with platinium blonde, picture him like THAT with the natural looking ginger-blonde hair :) Mhmm.. love that!
> 
>  
> 
>  Thank you Nicrenkel for the help with the upload :-*
> 
> Have fun!

Noel takes a look down his body, only to find Cameron's left hand wrapped around his waist. Their fingers are still interlaced. It's exactly how they fell asleep last night in their bed in LA. He sighs, while a content smile spreads over his face. He closes his eyes once again, only to lose himself in this wonderful feeling of having Cameron's warm body pressed against his back. This is how he wants it forever to be - falling asleep and waking up together, so close to each other, that nothing could fit in between them. But unfortunately it's not what their jobs allow them to be. Close to each other.  
  
Noel thinks about his departure to Texas shortly after New Years for only four days, but his heart drops. It's only four days. Four days in which he will meet the whole cast and crew for his next project 'The long road home', and in which some preparations for the shoot will be made. But he can't even think about a time where his beloved redhead wasn't around. His life is already too attached to the tall ginger that lies entangled in bed with him. His body stiffens at the thought of falling asleep and waking up three times without him. It's not how it's supposed to be. Their bodies should be connected the whole _damn_ time.  
  
He opens his eyes again to stave his thoughts off. Noel lets his eyes wander down his body, until they get stuckon their fingers. On both left hands blaze their engagement rings and Noel's body relaxes immediately. Everything is going to be okay. They are spending their lives together, and no one can tear them apart. Not even time. They'll find a way to deal with this, even if it means to only contract on projects where Cameron is in too.  
  
Noel shakes his head at his own stupid thoughts and guides their hands to his lips, where he lays soft kisses on Cameron's ring. The younger man stirs awake slowly and shifts behind him, squeezing their interwined fingers.  
  
"Morning." he mumbles in the crook of Noel's neck and takes a deep breath. This is _so_ Cameron. It's always the first thing he does in the morning, smelling Noel's scent in the skin between his neck and his ears. And Noel's body can not _not_ react to this. It always sends a shivering wave down his spine, making goosebumps spread over his whole body, while he prepares innerly for Cameron's next step. Tasting Noel. After he takes some deep breaths in the crook of Noel's neck, he always turns him around to kiss him soft but passionately. And at the moment the tip of their tongues touch for the first (but definitely not last) time of the day, it sends fireworks off in Noel's stomach. He is like wax in Cameron's hands, melts at each of his caresses even more.  
  
And even if he'd try to suppress the reactions of his body to this, it wouldn't work. Their bodies are like magnets. They gravitate towards one another and act on their own. So it's no surprise for Noel, that his dick is already half hard, when Cameron wraps his hand around it. A soft moan escapes his lips immediately. "Morning." he returns finally and shuts his eyes at the sensation of Cameron stroking him slowly. There's no fabric between them, because they always have the need to _feel_ each other. They'd never go to bed dressed, not even in their boxers, not even in cold winter. _No_. They have each other and that's the only thing they need.   
  
So when Noel sighs with each of Cam's agonizingly slow strokes, he feels Cameron's dick harden in the flesh of his ass. The younger man searches for friction, as he presses his cock harder against him. The feeling of the redhead's warm precum against his flesh, makes him lick his lips. He tries to remember Cameron's taste on his tongue and almost whines, when his mind allows it.  
  
Cameron kisses a line from his neck to his ears and then stops to breathe hot and heavy into it. "Noel." he whispers, while still pumping Noel‘s painfully hard dick. God it's so good, it's so fucking good, it blows Noel's mind away. "I want you to fuck me!" Cameron breathes and _oh_ does this let Noel's dick twitch in anticipation.   
  
They've only done it once, both satisfied with their regular roles, but god it doesn't reduce the pleasure of being inside of Cam.  
  
Noel grabs Cameron's neck and guides his lips back onto his own, a silent agreement to Cameron's hidden question. The redhead shifts his weight and hovers above him, still stroking him slowly and letting his thumb circle the sensitive head of his dick, smearing precum all around it.  
  
“Fucking tease.” Noel manages to mumble into Cam’s mouth before attempting to deepen the kiss a little bit further. His hands slip down from Cameron’s neck over his muscular back and he can feel his cock growing even harder at this point. He can just barely keep a groan in at how fucking perfect the younger body feels above him. The shapes of his abs, the warmth of his skin.  
  
Cam pushes his tongue far into his partner‘s mouth as if he wants every single part of Noel. His right arm is laced around Noel’s neck, pulling them close together as the older man now wraps his arms tightly around his waist. They continue exploring each other’s mouths, small groans of appreciation filling the room.   
  
“You’re too fucking hot. Need you.” Cam moans, disconnecting their lips to sit up on his knees, straddling Noel's thighs. He keeps his ministrations with his right hand up, while his left hand searches for some lube on the nightstand drawer. Noel caresses his lover's thighs up and down, earning some heavy breathing in response, before he also wraps one hand around Cameron's dick and starts stroking him with the same pace he himself is getting pumped with.   
  
The trembling of his body doesn't help Cameron get a hold of the bottle. But after some moments of getting used to the feeling, he manages to throw the bottle of lube onto Noel's chest, who grabs it immediately with his free hand.  
  
He shortly stops stroking his adorable boyfriend, only to slick his fingers up and guide his hand to Cameron's entrace. He picks up the pumping with his right hand, while his index finger of the left hand makes it's way inch by inch into the contracting hole.  
  
“Fuck” the younger man curses thickly, and Noel can see that he is torn between pressing back onto Noel’s finger or rolling his hips forward into Noel's stroking hand. The pleasure seems to be almost too much, judging by the noises Cam is emitting. He is so tight, Noel can't even think straight. How the fuck should he be able to last inside his boyfriend for only a few seconds?  
  
Cameron arches his back, his trembling body rocking back and forth. He is so concentrated on the feeling Noel is giving him, that he stops pumping Noel's dick and only holds it tightly in his hand. But Noel doesn't mind. Seeing his partner with eyes squeezed shut, red swollen parted lips and lust written all over his face, gives him enough pleasure for now. He circles his finger inside of Cam and decides that it's the right time to add the second.  
  
The moment he slips it inside, Cameron loosens his grip on Noel's cock and collapses forward onto his lover, to attach their lips. This takes Noel by surprise and he also stops stroking Cameron, wrapping his now free arm around the redhead's lower back, while he scissors his two fingers.  
  
Cameron moans inside the kiss, clenching and unclenching around Noel's digits. His red eyebrows furrowing a bit more. God he's so tight, he needs to relax a bit or otherwise Noel will shoot his load right when he enters. The thought alone of being inside this hot puckered hole makes him shiver. He needs him so bad right now, he can't wait much longer. Cameron needs to relax faster.  
  
So Noel lets his free hand wander down Cameron's back to his ass, kneading it shortly before he pulls him forward onto his chest. Before Cameron loses his balance, he sits back up and does exactly what Noel wants. Noel pulls further, guiding Cam's throbbing dick closer to his mouth. The younger man finally seems to understand his intention and kneels over Noel's chest, his ass hovering above Noel's stomach, so that his fingers still have enough space to rock in and out.  
  
Noel doesn't hesitate, opening his mouth and letting Cam guide his leaking dick inside.  
  
“Ooooh.“ Cam’s lustful lips are parted, short breaths escaping as he dips his head, looking down at him, pupils most likely completely blown. Noel's right hand kneads both cheeks roughly, when he adds the third finger with the left hand. Cameron's hands find their way into Noel's hair, curling his fingers a little bit, bringing some of the blonde hair into his hand.“Love that you changed it back to blonde. So sexy, so hot. _Fuck._ “  
  
By now, Noel is completely torn between watching the absolute magic that is happening and just closing his eyes and enjoying the feeling on his tongue and around his fingers. Watching wins, though. Of course it does. Cameron looks way too good, so far gone. Noel is proud he's the reason for the trembling thighs and the heaving chest.  
  
His three fingers slip in and out, the contracting hole finally relaxing under his touch. Noel expertly swirls his tongue over the slit of the tip, tasting the light, salty taste of precome coating his tongue. He swallows dryly around the throbbing cock, completely unable to take his eyes off of the perfect man that is on his knees infront of him. While Noel stretches his hole, Cameron starts fucking his mouth, deep throating on almost every third time. Noel can't do anything but keep a firm grip on one ass cheek, dumbly blinking up at him, feeling his entire body throb in pleasure, his own eyebrows knitted together.  
  
Their eyes are completely glued to one another’s, neither of them able to break the eye contact. Noel hollows his cheeks a little bit, continuing to give the younger man everything that he has.  
  
“You look so fucking good” Cam's voice is cracky, rough and tired. Laced with pleasure. Noel hums in appreciation, the vibrations rolling straight into Cameron's cock, making him dig his teeth into his bottom lip for a second.  
  
Noel sucks Cameron off expertly, his lips tightly suctioned around the warm length, his tongue dancing over the tip at just the right moment. His boyfriend's head is tilted backwards in pleasure, his adams apple bopping up and down in his throat as he gently rocks back and forth, thirsting to have both Noel's mouth and his fingers. And Noel wants to give him all of it, right now.  
  
They quite quickly manage to built up somewhat of a rhythm. Cam rolls his hips forwards, his cock pressing into Noel’s mouth, and then he moves backwards, feeling his fingers slip back into Cameron's hole. Noel doubts that if they go on like this they will make it to the actual fucking. And because of Cameron relaxing more and more around Noel's scissoring fingers, the older man decides that he really needs to be in his fiancé right fucking now!  
  
He let's go of Cameron's cock with a plop and gently slides his fingers out of Cam's body. “Fuck, man. That’s enough. Need to be inside you right this fucking second”  
  
The redhead nods, but Noel isn't sure if the words really get through to him, because he seems completely blissed out. Noel takes Cameron's head in his hands and pulls him down to a searing kiss. Their tongues melt with each other, dancing in their own established rhythm. Noel's head is completely spinning at how fucking right and perfect it feels. His hands rest on the sides of the taller man’s neck, his fingertips slipping into the red strands of hair, as the smacking of the lips get faster with every second. Noel is so turned on, he can't ignore his begging and leaking cock any longer.  
  
“Ride me, Cam! I want you to ride that cock!“ he demands with a hot whisper against Cam's swollen pout. Again he only gets a slight nod in return. Cameron leans down for another short kiss, before he pushes himself up on his knees again, one hand wrapping around Noel's cock.  
  
Noel shivers at the touch, his dick too sensitive after being neglected for so long. A sigh escapes his parted lips when Cam guides him to his hole, the tip already touching the hot ring of muscles. “Mhmmm“ Noel is so eager, he can't wait much longer. He puts his hands on either side of his lover‘s hips, and starts guiding him down.  
  
Noel hums, his tongue darting out to wet his lips at the beautiful sight of Cam perching on top of him. The older man swallows, never breaking their eye contact even when Cameron lowers himself slowly onto his rock hard cock, until he is fully seated. Cam's flat palms get placed on Noel's chest.  
  
“Fuck” Cam immediately curses at the feeling, his lips parted. Both of them let out long moans of appreciation as they connect. _This_ connection is what Noel needs forever.  
  
Noel’s hands curl into fists and then back out again, feeling his cock filling Cameron up in a way that nobody else has ever done before. It feels too fucking good already and he has to admit that this won't last very long. His entire body is throbbing, mind almost completely blank. Soon the eye contact becomes way too much for both of them, and Noel tilts his head backwards, both of their eyes slipping closed in pleasure, neither of them moving just yet.  
  
Noel can feel every single ridge and every single dip inside of his partner working around him, the tight, hot heat enveloping him. Soon, he can’t help but open his eyes again, seeing Cameron’s perfect frame on top of him, head tilted backwards, adams apple bopping up and down.   
  
“You look so fucking sexy, fuck” Noel says roughly, his thumbs rubbing large and smooth circles on the soft skin of Cameron's hips. “Fuck I love you so much!“ he adds. The words seem to snap the redhead back into reality somehow, because he finally lifts himself up until only the very tip of Noel’s cock rests inside of him. When Cam sinks back down, he drags a low grunt out of himself. His red eyebrows are knitted together, eyes clenched closed as he repeats the action, picking up a good pace.  
  
Noel’s throat feels completely and utterly snapped shut, his hands tightening around Cameron’s hips, helping him up and down, pleasure completely coursing throughout both of their veins. The room is filled with deep moans and groans. Cam’s hands clench back into fists as he does his best to pick up a little bit more speed, fucking himself on Noel's throbbing cock. Cam's perfect cock begs for attention as it bops with his movements, leaving slick marks on Noel's ab's. The blonde has to fight the urge to dip his fingers into it and taste it once more. But _no._ This would for sure send him over the edge right now.  
  
Noel tries to keep his eyes open. The redhead looks way too good riding him, and he doesn’t want to miss it. Cameron's entire body is starting to become covered in a thin layer of sweat, a strand of the red hair falling down over his forehead. His pale skin is littered with small and tiny brown freckles, dipping away for his abs.  
  
Cam continues to fuck himself on Noel’s cock, hands clenching and unclenching. His lips are parted, deep grunts escaping out through his mouth, blending together with their skin colliding over and over again.  
  
The sight and sound is just too fucking perfect, and Noel feels his climax approaching fast. He struggles and squints his whole face to keep himself from filling his young love. He wants to finish together with him.  
  
Noel tightens his hold on Cameron's hips a little bit further, his fingertips digging deep into the pale and perfect flesh, most likely laying the groundwork for some nice bruises. He pushes Cam deep down onto his lap, crying out whenever he does so.  
   
“Fuck, fuck, fuck” Cam’s groans suddenly turn into curses, and Noel gets the idea that he found his prostate. “Do that again!“ Cameron demands. Noel obliges, lifting his feet a little bit and planting them flat onto the bed, making sure that he keeps the good grip on his partner’s body. As he starts fucking up into him, he hits that one spot over and over again, drilling Cameron to pieces.  
  
All Cam can do, is stop his own movements and take it, while he keeps gasping for air and moaning. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. Never stop doing that. _Fuck_!”   
  
Noel's eyebrows are still knitted together, head tilted backwards, as he lays his last left energy in every thrust. He can already see some stars appearing in front of his eyes, while the love of his life aches above him, whining with lust.  
  
“Yes, yes! Fuck, Noel! Right fucking there! Fuck me, just like that!” Cameron’s babbling drives Noel even more crazy as he tightens his hold even a little bit further, slamming his cock both harder and faster into him. He can already feel his balls starting to thighten, when Cameron's hole starts contracting around his painfully leaking dick. The last few seconds, Noel tries to give everything he can, when they are completely and utterly caught up in one another, chasing their orgasms down.  
  
Cameron still isn’t moving at all, instead he lets Noel take all of the control, stabbing up into him, driving them both completely and utterly insane. Pleasure, need and heat coursing throughout their veins as they inch closer and closer to their highs. Noel's whole body is prickling, and this is the part he loves the most about sex. The moment before the release is actually shooting out of his dick. The thrill of ecstasy that lets his whole body vibrate, making him feel alive, although the need to finish is almost unbearable and painful. Noel isn't even able to form a single word. He holds his breath, while his muscles work in extreme tension for the last few thrusts.  
  
He speeds up one last time, forcing Cameron down onto his cock three or four times, before he finally stops. He stays balls deep inside of the hot contracting hole, his grip on Cam's hips not loosening for a second, holding him down, as they both shoot their loads simultaneously. Both pairs of eyes are clench closed, heads thrown backwards, as Cam milks him through his phenomenal orgasm. Noel still isn't breathing, and neither is Cameron, but both mouths are wide open, while white ribbons shoot out of their dicks. Cameron's load paints his own chest along with Noel’s while Noel coats Cameron's clenching inner walls.  
  
They both completely thrum and shake and throb through it, until they finally gasp for air again, both bodies collapsing. Cameron falls on top of Noel, capturing his lips in between his own. A low hum of appreciation in the base of Noel’s throat as they explore each other’s mouths for a second before pulling apart.  
  
“Holy fucking shit!“ is all Noel is able to say, before he starts laughing in the crook of Cameron's neck, smelling his sweet after-sex scent.  
  
“That was pretty intense man,“ Cam agrees, lifting his head to place a kiss on Noel's sweaty cheeks. “love having you inside.“ he adds almost in a whisper.  
  
They stay some moments entangled into each other, Cam's cum sticky between them. It's an awesome feeling to be inside of him, his own cum surrounding his slowly softening dick. He knows he needs to pull out, but wants to savor this rarity. So he moves a few more times, the movements barely visible and sighs satisfied, before he finally slips out of him.  
  
Cameron rolls on his back, taking a few tissues to wipe away the cum of his chest and the one dripping out of his hole.  
  
While Noel tries to regain control of his body, he once again stares at the ring on his finger. It isn't preeminent, but for Noel it's eye catching. It's his future, which he wears on his finger.   
  
“Can't stop looking at it.“ he tells his boyfriend, who immediately stares down at his own.  
  
“Me too. Can't believe we're getting married.“ Cam replies, letting some moments pass, before turning his face to Noel and adding “Can't wait to be your husband.“  
  
This puts a smile on Noel's lips and he huddles against Cam to press a kiss on his pout. “Me too.“ he whispers against the lips he never wants stop kissing.  
  
“So why wait?“ Cam's excited voice sounds against his skin, before the redhead sits up, peering with his big green eyes down at him.   
  
“Wha-“ Noel wants to ask but is cut by a wild gesticulating Cameron. “I mean, nothing's gonna stop us. We're outed, everyone knows. We don't need to hide. We can do it now, or tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow, or-“   
  
“Cam“ Noel stops his partner, who‘s talking his head off. “I _do_ wanna marry you, but I wanna do it right. I want to confess my love for you infront of the people I love. Everyone should know that we belong together. And because most of our friends actors too, I don't think that it'll be easy to come together, tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow, or... you know what I mean!“ Noel explains, unsure how his lover will react.   
  
“Okay“ Cam starts, a smile already forming at the corner of his lips. “So spring or summer then?“   
  
Noel's heart speeds up. Are they really gonna do this? “Spring sounds great.“ _Fuck_ , they're really gonna do this!  
  
A bigger smile spreads across the redhead's face and he leans down to kiss Noel once again. The blonde immediately reciprocates, and opens his mouth for Cameron's tongue to enter. But the moment it slips in, Cam breaks the kiss, leaning back up laughing and blushing. “Fuck, I can't believe we're talking about our wedding. OUR WEDDING, NOEL! Holy christ! Have you ever thought when we started shooting Shameless season one that we were going to marry someday? I mean.. can you believe that we'll be husbands in a year? It's so fucking crazy! How did that even happen?“  
  
Noel huffs a laugh at his fiancé's excited voice. “You want the full or short version?!“ he cocks his head and raises an eyebrow, earning a punch in the shoulder from his younger love.  
  
“Oh shut up!“ Cameron laughs, leaning down to peck Noel's lips one more time.  
  
“I thought you wanted to talk about it?!“ Noel jokes once again, but this time Cameron only gives him the 'oh come on' face. Noel raises his hands, indicating that he's switching to serious now and sits up next to Cameron. Both lean on the headboard of their bed, smiling goofily at each other.  
  
Noel can see Cameron struggling, probably holding back a ton of questions. “Come on, spit it out firecrotch!“ he demands, before Cam literally explodes in front of him.  
  
“Okay, when exactly do you want to marry? May? June? We need to compare our filming schedules. I think we should both be free in may, before Shameless starts again. And have you thought about the place? I think it should be an intimate ambiance, nothing big or swanky. Maybe outdoor? On a big field or a beach? Who do you want to invite? I mean you said 'people you love', and gave a hint that you want friends to come, but do you also want to have our family with us? Because I can tell you that I'm a dead man, if I don't invite my mum. And I guess you may want your husband alive... But I can understand if you don't want to invite your parents after all that happened. Although you have to admit, that we had a great time with them on our christmas holidays! And you should definitely invite Hannah, your sister. I like her so much. And when you say 'friends', do you just mean our castmates or do you want to invite other friends too? Because the second person who'd want my death, if she finds out about it, would probably be Ashley. And Tom. Yeah, definitely Tom too. Besides I thought that I'd ask him to be my best man. Although I'd also like to ask Jeremy. Fuck. Maybe I‘ll ask them both. Except if you don't want Tom and Ashley to come, we‘ll keep it reduced to the Shameless crew, of course. We just have to hide for years then, when both of them find out. Have you thought about who you'd like to ask about being your best man? Oh I just realize I don't know any of your other friends until now. So, it can also be a woman, if you have more female friends. Do you have female friends? Noel?“ Cameron looks to the side, only to find Noel staring back at him with big blue eyes and an open gaped mouth.  
  
“You done?“ Noel asks, completely astonished about the few amount of breaths Cameron needed during his babbling.  
   
His redhead blushes once again, nodding in agreement and looking down between his legs, where his hands are resting. “Yeah“  
  
Noel lays his hand on Cameron's head to ruffle his red hair. “God I love you so much!“ he confesses, with a wide smile on his face. “I don't know where to start after all the questions you raised.“ he exhales long, taking one moment to review everything Cam has asked.  
  
“First of all: I do wanna have our families at our wedding, that includes our parents and siblings. And of course I want Tom and Ashton there too, they are your best friends! I think it's a good idea to ask Jeremy and Tom to be your best men, maybe I'm going to pick two as well. Two of my best friends. One is female and one male, just so you to know. You know the female, it's Emma.“ Noel says, looking deep into the green of his lover's eyes.   
  
“Greenwell? Emma Greenwell?“ Cameron asks surprised and Noel is a little ashamed that he hadn't told his fiancé earlier about his closest friends. “You still in contact?“   
  
Noel nods.  
  
“Fuck, that's great! I'd love to see her again. How come you didn't tell me before now?“ Cam wants to know, and it's definitely something Noel asks himself too.  
  
“I don't know, man. Lots of other shit was going on, it just didn't register.“ he tries to explain the inexplicable.  
  
“Okay. And who's the other best man?“ Cam inquires.  
  
“Jake,“ Noel tells “one of my best friends since high school.“   
  
“Ah, yeah. You've mentioned him before. I'd love to meet him.“ Cameron smiles and it makes Noel so happy, that he has such a wonderful boyfriend.  
  
“You will. And you'll love him, like he'll love you. I can literally picture it, the both of you ganging up on me.“ Noel laughs, gesticulating with his hands infront of his face.  
  
“Yeah?! He teases you a lot? Damn, I like this guy!“ Cam jokes and pecks Noel's lips again. “Okay, so our parents, your sister, our castmembers and a few friends from childhood. So we'll probably be...“ Cam starts counting with his fingers, whispering the names almost inaudibly “20, 25, including the partners, husbands and wifes from our friends.“  
  
Noel nods happily. “It's perfect. It's intimate. Like I‘ve always wanted it to be.“ he leans in for another quick kiss, but this time they let their tongues connect shortly.   
  
Cameron pulls away, grabbing his phone and scrolling through something, before he leads his attention back to Noel. “What do you think about a wedding at the beach by the beachhouse on saturday, may 27th?“ he asks, his green eyes shining with euphoria. God, it's the cutest thing Noel has ever seen and if he wasn't laying in bed, his legs would definitely give in.  
  
“Sounds perfect!“ he agrees, while thousands of butterflies start flying around in his gut.   
  
Cameron immediately tosses his phone away, grabbing his lover's face with both hands and kissing him passionately. Both hardly able to believe their luck.  
  
148 days to go, until they are finally married to each other.  
  
And Noel will count down every one of them until he finally has what he has longed for all his life - to be married to his soulmate and the love of his life. Cameron _fucking_ Monaghan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Emma G. will be back - YAY!
> 
> AAAAAND their wedding is coming soon.... Hopefully ;P
> 
> Please leave kudos and/or comments - Thanks <3


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, chapter 13!! 'Lovers on screen' ended here, but this one isn't finished yet. I don't know how long their story will take me, but as long as you are happy and I feel like writing, I'll keep feeding you with chapters ;)
> 
> So here's a fluffy one!
> 
> Enjoy! :-*

(CAMERON'S POV)

“Ronya just called me.“ Cameron says, as he watches Noel step out of the shower, rubbing his wet hair dry with a towel.

“Yeah? What did she want?“ Noel asks, stepping up to his partner to peck him shortly on the lips.

“She told me, that it's time to give an official interview about us.“ Cam's eyes wander nervously from Noel to the floor and back into the wonderful blues.

Three weeks have passed, since Noel outed them infront of running cameras on the 'GQ Men Of The Year' Party and since then they've been playing hide and seek with the press and the paparazzis. They are the cover story of hundreds of magazines almost daily, but all mostly write the same. A lot of theories are made up about how they fell in love and how Noel and Layla's relationship was just a fake. None of them has ever agreed or disagreed to that. They let the press write whatever they want to write, hoping that the sensation about them being a couple ebbs away on its own.

But _no_. That hasn't happened. On the contrary, their love gets more and more interesting and the magazines overbid each other with the highest pay the two of them have ever received for an interview. Everybody wants to know what really happened between them and somehow Cameron has the feeling that it may be better to give them what they want.

He thinks that when the newspapers and the public get the answers they are so desperately searching for, they may leave them alone. At least this is what he hopes. But he can't tell Noel about it, because he's the one he's doing the hiding for. Before they came out, Noel told him that he's still removing the shards from the damage that happened by his mother's words and that he needs some time to recover. He said, that he doesn't want to wake up and read about shit about them, that's nobodys business but their own. But that is exactly what's happening right now. And Cameron thought that hiding and keeping the newspapers from his fiancè, could give him some sort of a break.

It doesn't. Because Noel is an adult, who grew up in the showbuiz. He has a phone with internet, and that is all he needs for information to reach him.

Cameron can see him struggling. Especially when theories about his relationship with Layla are set up, he is deeply hurt. Which is what hurts Cameron the most. Cam doesn't want to watch any longer, he is satisfied that they have at least managed to hide until the christmas holidays. But in the new year they should end it. Cam doesn't want to start a new year, that will become the best of his life, with lies and hiding. He wants to rectify their lovestory so that it can be sealed for eternity at the end of May.

This is why the call from his press agent Ronya just came at the right time. He takes it as an opportunity to finally talk to Noel about it. "I think she may be right. We need to do it, Noel. Maybe they'll leave us alone then."

The redhead notices Noel's breathing accelerate while he slips into his boxers, his body still wet from the shower. It's hot. But it's not the right moment to get carried away. "Okay," Noel agrees, taking his blue pants from the washing machine and putting them on "you want to do it now?"

Cam is perplexed. This is not what he thought would happen. He just stands there, taking his time to admire his beautiful boyfriend, before his mind clicks back to reality and he speaks up again "No. Of course not _now_. It's new years and we have to get to Emmy's party. But I thought, maybe at the beginning of the year? Ronya could manage an interview with some magazines on January 2nd."

Noel puts his purple button up on, which is when Cameron pouts. Too much fabric, too less skin.

As Cameron steps behind his lover to wrap his arms around his waist and hook his fingers underneath the clothes, trading his fingers up and down Noel's chest, Noel shakes his head. "I'll already be in Texas on January 2nd. You know, the meeting for 'The long road home'" He tilts his head backwards, for Cameron to have enough space to kiss his neck. Noel starts slowly circling his hips onto the younger man's crotch. "But you can give an interview alone. Which would give me more time, before I have to do it." Noel tells him.

Cameron would rather do it together, but he can't really concentrate on Noel's words any longer. His dick is getting painfully hard between his legs, where Noel is moving his ass up and down his lap. "Okay" he breathes, closing his eyes to let the pleasure take over him.

Which suddenly ends abrupty. "Great" the blonde man says, pulling away and heading out of the bathroom. "Come on firecrotch, get ready. There's a party we need to be at!"

Fucker.

 

 

 

"Thanks for inviting us to dinner, Emmy!" Jeremy says, raising his glass for everyone to join in.

"Yeah, I wanted to have a little time with my Shameless family alone before the other guests arrive at this silvester party." Emmy tells them. "Cheers!" she adds, before everyone takes a sip of their champagne.

Cameron shares a quick look with his fiancé, deciding that now is the best moment. Before everyone starts to eat, Cameron clears his throat loudly, earning their attention. “We just wanted to invite all of you to our wedding on May 26th 2017 at the beach house.“ he proclaims proudly.

Emma is the one who starts with an excited “Wohooo“ until the rest of the gang joins in.

 

 

 

Cameron and Noel step up to Jeremy on the balcony, the air hitting Cam like a rock. He suddenly feels more dizzy than he did a few seconds ago. Fucking alcohol. Cam pats Jeremy on his shoulders. “What are you doing here? The party is inside!“

“I just needed a short break.“ his on screen brother tells him, exhaling the smoke through his nose while leaning on the railing.

The party is in full progress, and Emmy's house is full of people dancing, drinking and celebrating. 18 minutes until midnight, until a thrilling new year starts for Noel and himself.

Emmy suddenly joins them, swinging her arms around Noel's and Cam's shoulders. “Guys, guys, guys, put your dancing shoes on and get inside! The dancefloor is burning. And by the way, that's my favorite song right now!“ she speaks enthusiastically and the way her voice reaches the highest pitch, all of them can hear that she has drunk enough for tonight.

Cameron takes a quick look at his partner, raising one eyebrow and nodding slightly, indicating that he needs a moment with Jeremy alone. Noel understands immediately, turning infront of Emmy and offering his hand. “My lady. May I ask for this dance?“

Emmy screams excited and takes his hand, before Noel guides her carefully through the ranting crowd.

The two backwarded friends both laugh at that, happy that Emmy seems to be enjoying her party.

Jeremy then turns to Cameron, a smile forming at the corner of his lips. “Great news, man!“

“Yeah“ Cameron smiles and nods. “About that...“ he starts, looking from his beer bottle to Jeremy's icy blue eyes. “wanna be my best man?“

Jeremy's eyes grow bigger, and Cameron gets more nervous, before the shorter man finally speaks up. “Fuck yeah. It would be a pleasure!“ he answers happily, wrapping his arms around the redhead's neck. “I always thought Tom was going to be your best man?!“

Cameron slips out of his touch, scratching his neck a little embarassed by the intensity of this moment. “Yeah, I'll ask him too. Noel and me both want two.“ he responds.

“Cool. Who are Noel‘s?“ Jeremy asks, curious about the answer.

“I don't know, if you'd like to hear.“ Cam starts, thinking about Emma, who once was Jeremy's girlfriend. Both fell in love on the Shameless set too. But their love didn't last and Jeremy's now happily together with Alison, while Emma dates some other guy Cam doesn't know.

“What? Why?“ Jeremy questions, confused by Cameron's words.

Cam takes a sip from his beer, shifting his weight from side to side, until he finds the courage to look Jeremy in the eyes again. “It's Emma.“ he quickly says, but notices that Jeremy doesn't seem to get it. “Greenwell. Your ex, Emma?“

An 'Oh' forms on Jeremy's lips, although his voice seems to be stuck in his throat.

“Shit. That a problem for you and Alison?“ Cameron asks, once again nervous about the answer. Him anf Noel want to have an intimate wedding, with only the people they care about the most. The atmosphere should be loving and comforting. He really hopes it's not in danger because of some jealous vibes.

“No, no. It's not. It's okay. Just took me by surprise that they‘re still in contact.“ Jeremy tells him, inhaling the burning nicotine into his lungs. “Who's the other dude?“ he inquires, causing Cameron's heartbeat to speed up. He takes a deep breath, staring out into the dark night, where already a few fireworks are lightening the sky.

“Jake“ he tells him, exhaling long and heavily.

_Jake._

He is Noel's best friend since highschool and they have already experienced a lot together. Cameron hasn't met him yet, but will have the pleasure tomorrow noon. Since Noel told him about the meeting, both are quite excited. Noel out of joy, Cameron out of fear.

Jake knows Noel in and out. His lover doesn't get tired of emphasizing this. He knows all the facets of him, probably more than Cameron himself. Jake knows what makes Noel happy and what doesn't. And that is the key point. What if he doesn't like him? What if he advises Noel against the wedding? Will his fiancè listen to him?

Jeremy seems to recognize that this name triggers something in the redhead. He passes his cigarette to Cam, who accepts it thankfully. He inhales deeply, the nicotine burning down his respiratory ducts and calming his nerves down a bit.

"What's up, Cam?" Jeremy asks, taking the cigarette back in his hands. "Talk to your best man!"

Cam huffs a laugh, looking at Jeremy with one raised eyebrow. He feels a blush spreading over his skin, queasy about his childish behaviour. "It's nothing." he shakes his head, wanting Jeremy to believe that. But of course it doesn't work, because the alcohol mixed with the nicotine are downgrading his acting skills.

" _Cam_ " It's the way his friend emphasizes his name, that makes him burst out. He grasps Jeremy's elbow and drags him to the window front.

"Look at him!" He points at Noel, who is still dancing with Emmy. Although it more looks like Emmy is sleeping on his shoulders as Noel carefully sways her left and right. "Look at this angel of a man! He's so soft hearted, beautiful, talented, funny, sensitive, just... perfect! And until recently he was together with his counterpart, only the female version. Because Layla's all of that too! I had the pleasure to meet her every now and then and when Noel spoke of her, he raved over her." He takes a short breathing pause, before he turns his face to Jeremy and adds: "And then look at _me_!"

Jeremy just looks perplexed, Cameron can see him struggling for the right words. The older man opens his mouth to respond, but is cut off by an ongoing Cameron. “Layla is sweet, contained, beautiful, soft, and always finds the right words. And I'm... clumsy, burping, always smelling like beer and cigarettes. I'm sure even her fart smells like roses. I can tell you, mine doesn't!“ Cameron makes a dramatic break to give his last statement more importance. But he can already see Jeremy holding his hand infront of his mouth to hide his laughter.

“That's not funny Jeremy, I'm serious! I mean... I'm sure when Jake came to visit, she baked something tasty and prepared a delightful meal. _I_ can only offer chips and beer. What an upgrade for his best friend Noel, huh?!“ Cameron sounds sarcastic, although there's bitterness in his voice, which now seems to catch Jeremy's attention.

“You serious right now?“ he asks with a raised eyebrow and when Cam nods his agreement, the blue eyed boy shakes his head in disbelief. “I swear to god, you two...!“

Cameron remains silent and Jeremy stubs out his cigarette, before he turns back to Cam. “This is so fucking ridiculous, Cam! And if you were sober, you'd notice that too.“ he starts, before placing his hands on the redhead's shoulders and looking deeply into his eyes from below. “He chose _you_ , Cam. Noel chose you! And you would make me a happy man, if you two idiots would finally acknowledge that! Or at least start paying me for the therapist lessons I have to give, since you two started fucking!“

Cameron has to chuckle at that, making Jeremy's hands fall off his shoulders. “You two love each other, no matter how your farts smell! Everybody can see that. And this Jake guy will notice that as well. So can you please,“ this time Jeremy makes a dramatic break, folding his hands to a pleading position “ _please_ , stop being a drama queen and kiss your man to new years? We've got 4 minutes left.“

Cameron nods all smiley and pats Jeremy on the back. “Alright. Let's find our loves in the crowd.“ he says, before they both step inside Emmy's house again, where the first couples are already forming.

Jeremy immediately turns right, heading to Alison, who's standing there with Emma and Ethan. Cameron smiles, and goes further into the crowd, only to find Noel leaning at the housebar with Shanola, Steve and Izzy, Emmy in his arms, while he strokes her back. As he sees Cameron approaching his whole face lights up and it's the sweetest thing Cam can imagine. Pure love and happiness is written all over his lover's face, who's taking care of Emmy so adorably cute, it stings Cam's heart. He can't wait to kiss him into their new, thrilling year.

Just as he gets to a stand by his lover and friends, Emmy's fiancé Sam shows up, thanking Noel and carefully taking his future wife with him. Shanola, Steve and Izzy excuse themselves, also going to find their partners. Noel and Cameron lock their gazes, smiling from ear to ear, as they stand vis-á-vis to each other.

“Hey“ Noel whispers. But Cam doesn't get the chance to say something back, when suddenly all the people start counting “Ten, nine, eight,“ and Cameron steps closer to his lover. “seven, six, five“ Noel's arms find their way around Cameron's waist, while Cam lays his hands on each of his partner's cheek. “four, three, two, one“ Cameron leans in, closing his eyes and closing the distance to Noel's waiting lips. When everybody starts screaming and bawling, Cam whispers “Happy new year!“ and lays his lips onto his fiancé's, kissing him softly, while his heart beats like a jungle drum.

“I love you“ Noel mumbles into the kiss, before he opens his mouth and lets Cameron's tongue slip inside. Cameron slides it gently over Noel's tongue, and loses himself in the heat of his mouth. He savours every inch of the welcoming heat, greedy for the taste of beer and Noel. An incomparable experience that Cameron will never forget. He pushes his tongue deeper inside, licking over Noel's teeth, only to melt it again with his own. Heavy breathing inside the kiss makes his whole body tingle. He bites at Noel's bottom lip, before he disconnects their lips and lets his forehead rest against Noel's. “I love you too“

A year has never started better for him.

 

 

 

Although Jeremy's words helped a little and the silvester kiss he shared with Noel made him extremely happy, he can't deny that he's still nervous about the meeting tomorrow.

Nervous and drunk.

The thoughts about Layla's perfection and Jake's first impression about him keep haunting him through the entire night, and that's why he keeps drinking. He doesn't even notice how much he drowns, until he is so drunk, that he sees his fiancé in double. Not that he would mind. But if he tries to touch him, he needs to reach the right one, which seems to be difficult as fuck.

He finds himself at the dancefloor together with Emma, Ethan, Shanola, Izzy, Jeremy and Alison at 3:26 am in the morning, doing his best body rolls and losing himself completely in the music. Music is perfect for forgetting about the never ending thoughts circulating in his brain.

While he does another body roll, he notices his partner staring at him, while talking to Steve and his wife. Noel bites at his bottom lip, as his hungry blue eyes seem to undress the redhead. Cameron knows exactly, what his lover wants, which turns him on even more. The way Noel's eyes trade up and down his body, makes himself shiver in excitement.

He wants to impress him, wants to make Noel hot for the night. He lays more power and eagerness into his moves, pushing his hips back and forth, indicating sexual thrusts. Noel's mouth and eyes stay open for a while, fixed on him completely. Cameron turns around, shaking his ass fiercly, swaying his hands in the air, before turning back and guiding his hands over his upper body.

Blue eyes blink rapidly, and Cameron can see him struggling to concentrate on his talk with Steve again. He's got him where he wants him. Just one more ass shake and Noel will beg him to go home and get laid.

Cam once again raises his hands in the air and prepares for a quick twirl. He hauls off and - _peng_ throws Ethan on the floor. Cameron tries to keep the balance, holding onto Emma, who is next to him, only to drag her down with him. While Ethan and Emma are quick on their feet again, Cam stays laying on his back, folding his hands infront of his chest and laughs hard.

Noel is there in a second, kneeling above his lover to help him back up. “Alright Red, time for us to leave!“ he says, as he slips his arm under Cam's armpits to support him.

“Yeah, let’s get home. I know _exactly_ what's on your mind now, babe.“ Cam answers, winking at him with a mischievous grin.

Noel raises his eyebrows in confusion “Uhm.. getting your drunk ass to bed?!“

“Alright Noel, if you want to call it that, then come on. Get my drunk _ass_ to _bed_!“ Cameron coquettes with a dirty tone in his voice. He tries his best to be sexy but fails completely, as his knees get weak and he loses his balance again.

Noel keeps him from falling, tightening his grip on the redhead. “Yeah so maybe we do a side trip to the bathroom first, where you sure as hell will embrace the toilet.“ Noel chuckles and starts saying his goodbye to their friends, pulling a half asleep Cameron with him.

 

 

 

(NOEL'S POV)

“Come on sleepyface, let's get out of the car!“ Noel shoves his boyfriend gently, before giving the taxi driver money, paying for their ride home.

Cameron is barely able to open his eyes and Noel has to smirk at that. It was cute that his beloved freckled face really thought about fucking him tonight. To this time. Noel already knew for hours that Cameron was way to drunk to even get home awake.

Noel really doesn't know why he had drunk so much tonight. It's not usual for Cameron to drink hard liquor, at least not copious. Usually he has a few beers and gets dizzy from that but that's it. Tonight though, he saw him drowning one shot after another, even when he was alone.

First Noel thought, that he might be nervous about asking Jeremy to be his best man, but when he didn't even stop after their talk, it was already too late to stop him from getting wasted. Besides, there really was no opportunity to ask him about it, because they were never alone. And to ask infront of their friends would have been embarassing for both of them: For Cameron to be taken to task, and for Noel to act like a bitch.

So he watched his partner getting drunk more and more and just enjoyed the show. He really wanted to save his lover from a bad hangover tomorrow, but he can't deny that a drunk Cameron can be way too cute.

He drags the green eyed boy out of the car and into their apartment, where he helps him get out of his shoes and clothes. Cam seems to have a moment of being half awake, when Noel peels his jeans off and throws them on the floor, noticing that he's laying only in his boxers in their bed. “Mhmmm.. I like that Noel! Come on, fuck me.“ he tries to sound sexy, but god this doofus fails completely.

Noel chuckles, stripping down on his own. “Yeah... _no_. Maybe tomorrow, if you'd make it to be sober again. I'm not the necrophilia type!“

Cameron props up on his elbows, raising one eyebrow. “ _Hey_ , I'm totally, _totally_ awake. I can still stand my ground!“ he protests, making Noel laugh harder at that.

“How about: you use your last energy to tell me, why the hell you've drunk that much?“ Noel asks, slipping under the covers of the bed and guiding Cameron's weak body towards him. He places Cam's head on his bare chest and starts massaging his scalp.

Cameron purrs in satisfaction, closing his eyes, before he speaks up. “Because...“

But this is all Cameron gets out at first, so Noel encourages him with a little “Hm?“

Cameron takes a deep breath. “Because you're too perfect.“ he finally manages to say and Noel is completely caught off guard. He blinks a few times, trying to comprehend what his boyfriend is talking about, before he jokes “Oh okay, if that's so.. this is of course a good reason for binge drinking!“

He earns a stack in the ribs from Cameron's elbow, chuckling softly, and asks again “Tell me the _real_ reason, Cam.“ he encourages his partner to open up, while he's still fondling the red hair.

Cameron looks up, locking eyes with Noel, straight-faced. “It _is_ the real reason and Jake will notice it. He will recognize, that you're too good for me and -“

Noel props himself up on his elbows and shuts Cam down. “This is about _Jake_?“

“Let me finish speaking!“ Cameron demands and takes another deep breath. “And the worst is, he is right! No one can ever be good enough for you.“

Noel coughs. He can't understand what the fuck Cameron is talking about. Where is this coming from? He really can't believe what the redhead is saying. He needs some moments to get back to reality.

He grabs Cameron's face in both hands and forces him to look him deeply in the eyes. “Are you fucking kidding me?!“ Noel gets out, meeting him with disbelief. He then takes Cameron's hand and guides it infront of their eyes. “Look at that, Cam! There's a reason why this ring is on your finger. Because there is no one, abso - fucking - lutely _no one_ , I'd rather spend my life with. No one, who's better or more perfect for me than you. I want you. You, you, only _you_.“ he pauses shortly to place his hands back on Cameron's cheeks and rubs them with his thumb. “So keep setting up your crazy and absurd theories, cause I'll disprove them all. Day after day. To the end of our lives. Because I love you.“ He once again pauses, smiling softly but certain about his words at his fiancé. “And Jake knows it, I've told him how crazy I am about you. And he'll see it. I'm sure he'll say, that _you_ are way too good for _me_.“ Noel chuckles. He can already picture it.

He knows Jake will be enthusiastic about Cam. How else could it be? The redhead is just easy to love, there's no way someone's _not_ gonna love him.

Cameron is just too cute when he really still thinks that someone could convince Noel to not spend his life with him. HA! Sweet and innocent Cameron.

But Noel isn't able to finish his train of thoughts, because Cameron is on him within the next second, kissing him fiercely.

He tastes a lot like beer and wine and gin and vodka (oh god, how many stuff had he mixed?!) _but_ it's still Cameron. Although there's a lot of other flavors on his lips, Noel can still taste Cam's own special taste. And it's everything he needs.

There's no one he would rather kiss.

Ever!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year :P
> 
> Aren't they lovely?! 
> 
> Please leave kudos and/or comments - Thanks <3


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So guys, I think this is my favorite chapter so far :) Hope you'll enjoy it as well. Tell me what you think about it :)
> 
> Thanks for all the love and support you are giving me with your comments and/or kudos! This is why I'm doing this, and this is why I'll keep doing this <3
> 
> And once again I have to thank LuckyShaz for editing every single chapter. This story wouldn't be as it is without you, girl! *mwah*
> 
> All my love <3
> 
> PS.: When you read the interview, the 'R' stands for reporter. I think 'CM' speaks for itself ;)

(NOEL'S POV)  
  
He hates this. He knew it from the beginning that he'll hate this and now that it's here, he hates it even more.  
  
Saying goodbye.  
  
Fuck, it's ridiculous. It's only going to be four days and they are here, standing near the cab that should take Noel to the airport, holding hands and sighing as if it's the last time they‘ll see each other for a long time.   
  
It's only when the driver honks for the third time that Noel knows that there's no way out. He has to go. _Now_.   
  
“Okay... Soo...“ he hears himself speak, having no clue what the hell he wants to say. What do you say, when you are leaving behind the love of your life for 96 hours? 96 torturous _long_ hours.  
  
Cameron just nods. “Yeah.. .Soo...“ Noel can see that he's also struggeling for words.   
  
_God damn it_. This situation is so embarassing. “Okay, we need to cut this emotional shit. It's ridiculous, it's only going to be four days. We'll have to deal with a lot more in the future. Soo... I'm getting in that car now!“ Noel points out sounding determined, but failing to move even an inch away from the redhead.  
  
“Okay“ his lover smiles the absolute most adorable smile that Noel can never get enough of.   
  
“Okay,“ he once again confirms. “I'm getting in now.“ God, what's wrong with him? He isn't a fucking teenager anymore, but he’s sure as hell acting like one. “I'm _totally_ getting in. See?“ He tries not to think about how much of an idiot he‘s making out of himself right now, as he takes a mini step towards the open door, his hand still clinging onto Cameron.  
  
“Okay“ Cameron's smile just grows bigger, obviously happy about the fact that Noel can't leave him for four stupid ass long days.  
  
Their ongoing farewell however seems to piss the driver off, as he scoffs and looks behind through the open door at the backseats. “God damn it. Get in the fucking car or you'll miss your flight!“  
  
This is when Cameron drops Noel‘s hand to wave him goodbye. “Bye“ he barely gets out and takes a step back.  
  
“Soo... bye then!“ Noel retorts, also raising his hand to wave at his fiancé. They lock their gazes one more time and Noel tries to savour the gorgeous look he's going to miss right when he gets in that car. They share a sad smile, knowing that the time has come.   
  
Just as Noel is finally willing to turn around to 'get in the fucking car', Cameron mumbles a “Come ‘ere“ and steps up to him, grabbing his face and kissing him fiercely.  
  
Noel doesn't even recognize the annoyed sigh coming from the drivers seat, as he tries to concentrate on the taste of the lips he's going to miss the most.  
  
But Noel is still a professional and he for sure knows that he can't and won't miss his flight. He just tried to expand the remaining time he has with his beloved redhead, but now has definitely to face the reality and detach himself from Cam. He lets his forehead rest on his partner's for a moment, breathing in his sweet scent. “I love you.“ he whispers, before he truly turns around and gets in that car.   
  
“I love you too. Call me when you're in your hotel room!“ Cam says, tapping on the upper side of the car twice, before the driver pulls away.  
  
God, he hates this!  
  
  
  
  
Work is good. Work distracts him from missing a special freckled head. There's a lot to do in the four days the crew of his upcoming project TLRH meets in Texas, where they plan to film most of the scenes.  
  
For example, they take his measurements so that the outfits are perfectly suited to his height; they discuss some scenes and where they are filmed and how it should look like; they try some stunts with the stuntmen and just try to get into the story.  
  
Yeah, as long as he has work, there's no special appearence of one guy in his mind. But oh lord, as soon as work ends there's no other thing running through his brain.   
  
Now that he has a short break and is on his way to the cafeteria with some of his castmates, it's clear that he only sees green and red and freckles all over when he closes his eyes. He checks the time and realizes that at home, Cam will have his first official interview about them as a couple soon. His pulse speeds up, and he gets nervous. He really hopes that it'll go well and the reporters won't overstep the line of discrecy.  
  
He fumbles with his phone in his pockets and shoots a text off to his fiancé.  
  
N: -You'll make it, I know you will! Will watch it later, when I'm at home. Good luck, love and miss you. XXX   
P.S.: Don't be nervous and start chewing on your nails again, you know what happened last time. Only that this time I can't be there to help you ;) -  
  
Noel has to smirk at the memory of that. Okay, it's not so funny that Cameron had hurt himself by chewing so much, that he didn't even recognize it was already his flesh he was biting into. But what's funny about it is that his lover was nervous because of Jake. _Jake_.   
  
He really thought Jake would've been able to _not_ love him. What a dork, of course he did! From the first moment Noel introduced them, Jake liked Cam. And fortunately also vice versa.   
  
It was so cute though, how Cameron tried to be funny and smart, his face reddening everytime he spoke up. Just as some time passed and Noel soothed him with soft kisses and caresses, Cameron relaxed and found his own personality again. From there it was like Noel had expected it to be - they allied themselves against Noel just to tease him about peanuts – like Noel's inability to hide a fart. Everytime it happens and someone asks who it is, Noel's pupils go from right to left in the corner of his eyes and his face turns all shades of red. “HA HA, yeah, make fun of that Monaghan, you don't know what to expect for it later!“ was his answer to that. Okay, maybe it was a little embarassing to talk about farts with his lover, but maybe at the same time _not_. Maybe this is what love is about. Talking about embarassing things like farts and still having hot and incredible good sex afterwards.  
  
Yeah, this is love. It's _their_ love for each other, and of course Jake had noticed it. After the meeting he had told Noel, that he hasn't seen him glowing like that for a long time.

Jake was there when Noel was at home for the two weeks after Layla's father died. He had recognized that something had changed and that Noel wasn't that happy anymore. So Cameron's comparison to Layla was complete bullshit. He can't compare his relationship with Layla to this one. It's completely different, but in a good way. Fuck, in an _awesome_ way.  
  
Noel smiles. He can't explain himself, how he managed to _not_ realize his love for Cameron in the beginning of Shameless.

Okay, in season one, Cameron was somehow a child and Noel found himself lucky to be with Layla. But _damn_ has the redhead grown into a hot and gorgeous adult from there on. Already in season two, he was tall and muscular as fuck. This was also the beginning of the rise of Cameron fucking Monaghan. Yeah, maybe his heartbeat started to speed up during the first meeting with Cameron of season two and maybe he somehow noticed that something was different. But maybe he was also just a scared child, who tried to shut everything down that could make his life more difficult.  
  
He's glad that both of them had grown up, and that he's able to stand to his love henceforth. Looking back now, everything seems so _clear_ , so _obvious_. Now he's able to understand every prickling and every weird feeling in his gut he had had back then whenever he was near the redhead. It's so logical. How can someone _not_ love Cameron fucking Monaghan?! Those people are weird. Those are the ones he can't understand now.  
  
But Noel has to stop his train of thoughts about the goofy ginger, reminding himself that he's now surrounded by colleagues in the cafeteria of their set and should probably focus on other topics, other than a certain redhead. Though it’s getting even more difficult when all he sees is red hair and green eyes all over. Fuck his mind for doing this to him!  
  
It's going to be long and hard two more days.  
  
  
  
  
When Noel finally arrives at his hotel room, he's tired and exhausted from this day of work. The first thing he does is slip out of his clothes and go for a shower, before he puts on one of his favourite Cam t-shirt's he stole from the redhead and brought with him. It's just a simple white one, but first of all, Cameron can wear _everything_ and still look hot as fuck and second, it's the one Cam has wore the night before his departure. So there's Cameron's sweet scent all over.  
  
Mhmm... he sniffs at it, getting semi hard just from his smell, like everytime he does it. Normally Noel would have already jerked off in the shower to the ever coming thoughts of his fiancé. But not today. Today he's too excited to see Cam‘s interview. He's longing to see his lover on screen.  
  
He makes his way to the couch where he opens his Macbook to search for it. He doesn't know why he's nervous all over. Cam had sent him a text letting him know that everything went fine. But it's still so important to him; knowing the exact questions and answers from this interview. It will determine, how the two of them will be seen as a couple. Either as a short, ridiculous fling, or a couple who has the ability to be together for a lifetime.  
  
Noel types 'Cameron Monaghan interview' into the Google search bar and finds exactly what he's looking for. 'Cameron Monaghan talks about his love for Noel Fisher'. He clicks at the Youtube link and leans back. The interview went online only two hours ago, but yet has already 106.433 views. _Wow_.  
  
The camera is directed at Cameron, only his face and torso can be seen. Behind him is a blank white wall and his hands are rested on a table. God he looks gorgeous. His face is a little red, probably because of nervousness, and the beginning of a stubble stretches around his beautiful mouth. He is wearing an unbuttoned jean blue shirt, over a plain white t-shirt. Fuck, his dick is already twitching in arousal. _No._ Not now.  
  
He clicks at the play botton and from there on hangs on every word Cam is saying.  
  
R: 'So I have Cameron Monaghan sitting here with me in the BC West Studios, who is willing to give the first interview about his relationship with Noel Fisher. Where's Noel today?'  
  
CM: 'Oh, he's sorry, that he can't be here today, but he has to work on his next project in Texas. News coming soon!'  
  
Cameron knows exactly what he is allowed to say.  
  
R: 'So Cameron. Today you agreed to tell us a bit about your relationship with Noel for the first time. A few weeks ago, you made your relationship and engagement public on the 'GQ Men Of The Year' Party, but then seemed to disappear from publicity. Why now?'  
  
CM: 'Because we didn't want to give the press any more reasons for speculation. We have swayed to prevent possible rumors and have decided to clarify our story _once_. There were just too many things, that weren't properly told to the public.'  
  
R: 'Okay, maybe you wanna tell us what things you mean, that weren't told properly?'  
  
Cameron clears his throat, smiling nervously, but looking incredibly cute.  
  
CM: 'Yeah. For example Noel's relationship with Layla. It was never fake. They did truly love each other for twelve wonderful years. Noel never gets tired of emphasizing that.'  
  
God, is he cute. Talking like a pro, knowing exactly what Noel would tell them. Although it probably must be difficult for his lover to speak about Layla's and his past.  
  
R: 'Then why did they break up? Was it because of you? Did Noel cheated on her?'  
  
Oh oh... what a stupid fucking question! But luckily they have spoken about that question before and agreed that this is something nobody needs to know. The last thing both of them want is to expose Layla infront of the world. She doesn't deserve it and it would paint their relationship in the wrong light.  
  
CM: 'No, Noel did _not_ cheat on her and I'd like to point out, that I wasn't the only reason they broke up. Yeah, I have to admit that I may have been the icing on the cake, which made the barrel to overflow. But as you probably know, 12 years is a long time, and both of them being actors means spending a lot of time seperated from each other, which can lead to living apart.'  
  
Great answer! Holy shit, his fiancé is a real professional in giving interviews. He could learn a lot from him. Especially the smiles he is giving the reporter and camera after answering every question.  
  
R: 'So why do you think this won't happen again? Because Noel and you are both famous actors too, the request of roles for you to play is big.'  
  
First Cameron smirks at the question, before he lets his head hang low for a brief moment. Noel doesn't know what he's going to say, doesn't know, what this question does to his lover. For him, it's unprepared and it leaves Noel thinking for a bit. Fuck, the question is just too justified. Why shouldn't this happen to them?  
  
But then Cameron looks up again, and Noel can see the determination in those green eyes.  
  
CM: 'Because Noel has already had this experience and has learnt from his mistakes. And I... well, I for my part can only say, that I have never been so sure about something in my entire life. I love him. (Cameron chuckles and shakes his head, looking embarassed with reddened cheeks to the side, before staring back, right at 'Noel') I am _totally_ and _completely_ gone for this man! And I just know deep in my heart, that _nothing_ is ever going to change that. Not a single thing. Nothing at all. He's it. For the rest of my life. _He’s it!_ (Cameron’s smiles even wider, seemingly sure.) He's the one. That's all I can say.'  
  
_Fuck_. It's a little strange, getting hard and crying at the same time. But that is exactly what Noel does. He tries to fight the lump in his throat, and tries to regulate his breathing again. He already gave up regaining control of his gallopping heartbeat.  
  
R: 'Oh wow! Okay, so let me guess: That's why _you_ proposed?'  
  
Cameron chuckles again.  
  
CM: 'Yeah, that's right, that's why _I_ proposed. You don't need to wait for years, when you just know from the first second that he's the man you want to spend your life with. No one else!'  
  
Noel feels the blood rushing through his veins. _God_ , he's so in love with this man. He wants to kiss him so bad right now.  
  
R: 'So, when you say you knew it from the first second, what do you mean? That you fell in love on the Shameless set of season one?'  
  
Cam laughs out loud, while he fumbles with his thumb at his nose, looking like he’s been caught red-handed.  
  
CM: 'This is funny, because I really can't tell you when it started. Noel and I have understood each other so well from the beginning. And I've always had a pleasant, warm and good feeling when he was around. Everything felt so right and so natural. Being with him felt like _home_. I felt safe and I felt a lot of love for this guy. I just couldn't assign those feelings until the beginning of the seventh season. Since then I‘ve known it for sure.'  
  
R: 'Wow, big words! And Noel has also known it since then?'  
  
CM: 'I think for Noel the whole thing was a bit harder. Being in a relationship with a woman for twelve years makes it a bit more difficult to accept the love for another man.'  
  
Yeah, Cam's right. It was hard for him to accept his feelings for the younger man. But _damn_ , if it wasn't worth it!  
  
R: 'So it was hard for you both to suddenly be gay? I mean, you also dated a lot of women before.'  
  
Thanks to the reporter. This is a fact, Noel doesn't need to hear.  
  
CM: 'Well, I don't think this is about being gay or not. It is about finding your soulmate, no matter if it's a man or woman. It's about finding the better half you know you belong to. A person that makes you better and happier than you ever thought you could be. And this is what Noel is to me. The person I belong to.'  
  
Noel holds his breath. It's like being in heaven and hell at the same time. Cameron's words are so sweet, so tender, so loving and his partner sounds so sure. Those words are the most beautiful ones, Noel has ever heard. He doesn't know if he should cry or laugh because of the happiness he's feeling. But at the same time it's torture to hear Cameron say that and not be able to fall over him, covering every single freckle of his skin with kisses. He's hard, _so_ hard seeing and hearing Cameron talking like that, while he smells his sweet scent from the shirt he's wearing.  
  
R: 'Wow Cam. It sounds like the sweetest romance I've ever heard of, and I've done a lot of these interviews before. Noel is a lucky guy to have you on his side.'  
  
Oh yes, he is!  
  
Cameron blushes and smiles, before responding.  
  
CM: 'Well, the truth is, _I‘m_ the lucky guy. Noel makes it easy to love him.'  
  
OF FUCKING COURSE, he has to say that. Noel claps his laptop shut, there are only 38 seconds of the interview left, and he really can't take it anymore.  
  
He takes his phone out of his pocket and doesn't think twice about what he's doing next. He slips his sweatpants and boxers down, until his rock hard cock, where a pool of precum is gathered at the tip, springs free and snaps a picture of it.  
  
N: -Look what you're doing to me-  
  
He sends it to Cameron and doesn't have to wait long for his response.  
  
C: -FUCK! I see it. What have I done?-  
  
N: -Your words. Made me horny and emotional at the same time. Motherfucker!-  
  
C: :-)   
C: -Stay like that. Gimme ten minutes. Don't touch yourself!-  
  
Ten minutes.. what should he do for ten long minutes, without touching his painful hard cock? Fuck, his dick is already twitching in arousal when he thinks about seeing Cameron naked in a few minutes. His legs bounce impatiently up and down, unable to stay calm.  
  
He opens his Macbook back up and starts Skype. Luckily he doesn't need to wait ten minutes, Cameron calls him after six.  
  
As soon as he answers, he is greeted by his fiancé leaning against the headboard of their bed with an amused look on his face.  
  
"You're a bad boy, Fisher!“ he chides, shaking his head with a smirk on his lips, and holy shit if this raspy and sexy voice isn't doing things to him.  
  
"It's your fault! I just wanted to watch your interview and go to sleep. But no, you had to pop up looking hot as fuck, while innocent and sweet words escaped your lips. My dick suddenly worked on it's own." Noel says with a shrug, palming his dick as he looks into his partner's emerald green eyes.  
  
“Okay, then show me what I did to you." Cam demands, licking his full lips. He grins when his lover starts blushing, before he bends the camera down and holds his length up, already stroking softly at the base.  
  
“Fuck.“ Cam pants, letting his hands wander down to the waistband of his own pants, while his eyes never leave Noel. His breath starts swelling in his chest. “Fuck, I want you in my mouth right now. Wanna taste you." the redhead admits sighfully, biting his lower lip.  
  
A smile spreads over Noel's face, as he sees his lover's face falling apart, swallowing hard. But then he comes to the decision that it's not fair that only Cam gets what he wants.  
  
“Let me see yours too!“ he asks, although it's rather a demand than a question.  
  
Cameron only laughs and yanks off his own pants and underwear in one swoop, and Noel’s mouth immediately goes dry.   
  
“Mhmm..“ Noel humms his appreciation, before he takes his laptop and gets into the hotel bed, tossing away his shirt, kneeling with, parted thighs on the soft matress, making himself comfortable.  
  
When Cameron lays the last fabric of his shirt aside, the sight takes Noel's breath away. “You know how beautiful you are? Fuck, I can't handle this.“ Noel says, as he watches his fiancé slowly palming himself. He reaches out to the screen, letting his finger slide along the outline of Cam's gorgeous body on his screen. How the muscles of his upper arm tighten with every up and down movement and the new half moon tattoo makes it hard not stare at it!  
  
“Are you sitting there touching the screen, you idiot?” Cam chuckles, although he still looks turned on as fuck.  
  
“Pff.. after all you‘ve said, I can do whatever I want!“ Noel counters. His body is pulsing with energy as he wraps his hand more tightly around the base of his shaft and starts stroking a bit more forcefully. The atmosphere quickly turns from teasing and joking into a more serious one.  
  
"I want you to fill me up.“ Noel admits softly, his tone changing, begging Cam to be taken care of. "Wanna see how bad I want you?“   
  
"Fuck yeah baby,“ Cam nods quickly, "show me."  
  
Noel does as he is told, touching the dripping slit with his thumb, smearing precum all over the head. His breath seems to stick in his throat, when he sees his boyfriend doing the same, matching his pace with Noel's.  
  
Their gazes are locked, their mouths gaping open, their chests heaving with lust and pleasure, as they keep stroking themselves silently, none of them saying a word.  
  
But this isn't something Noel is used to, he hasn't done any of this before. The dirty talk in bed is much more easier when Cameron keeps encouraging him with the instant reactions of his body. It's like their bodies are made to be connected. It's the thing of giving and taking. One works, the other responds.  
  
“You’re always a chatterbox, and now you go quiet on me?” Noel chides, voice high as he pumps himself at a steady pace, watching Cameron falling apart more and more with each of his strokes.  
  
His lover smirks, groaning softly as he palms his own hard on. “You’re just so… _perfect_.”  
  
It's the little bit of encouragement Noel needs. He smiles, looking embarassed down onto the bed.  
  
“Look at me,” Cam demands, “I wanna see you.”  
  
Noel does as he is told and stares right back into the camera, biting his lower lip. He lets himself fall forward, hands fisting in the sheets of the bed, while giving himself some pleasure. He groans ragged, his hips jerking back and forth. “Like what you see?” he asks teasingly, chewing on his lip again.  
  
"Fuck, I wanna feel you." Cam sighs, as if even the words themselves are causing him physical pain. He rubs a few beads of sweat off his forehead as he continues to watch Noel fighting to keep his eyes open and trained on Cam as he pumps his dick.  
  
“I wanna feel you too. Want you so bad.” Noel confesses. “All I do is thinking about you.”  
  
“Me too,” Cameron whispers, his voice low and husky as he strokes himself harder in time with Noel, “since our first kiss, you’re all I can think about.“ with a deep voice he sounds sound honest, so sure. “Show me what you do when you think about me.” the redhead demands.  
  
Noel trembles, blue eyes lock with green ones, when he takes two of his fingers into his mouth and slicks them with salvia. Now Cameron is the one who shudders, as he watches Noel shifting to show him almost his entire body. He leans down, his weight on his forearms, his face straight on the screen. Noel lets his hand wander down to his dick, stroking it a few times, before inching a slicked finger into himself. Noel squeezes his eyes shut, his mouth gaping open, while he lets his fingers slip in and out of his hole.

Wish it were you, _fuck_!” Cameron doesn't respond, Noel can only hear him breathing in sharply. He knows both of them aren't far away from falling over the edge. “Do it harder!" Noel demands, beginning to pick up his own pace. Cam immediately obeys, pumping harder and faster. It's almost quiet, except of the trembling breath and sighs that fill the room.  
  
Blue eyes are locked with green, before Cameron breaks the gaze to shake his head. “Stop.“ he mumbles, and peels his own hand off his cock.   
  
Noel stops instantly, looking at the redhead with confusion and irritation. Cameron looks like a wreck on the other side of the camera, wiping away the sweat that pearls at his forehead. He leans back against the wall behind him and places his hands at the cradle of his head. He licks his lips and deliberately glances down at his cock that is standing proudly as the main feature on the screen.   
  
"Show me your hole!" Cam urges and Noel shifts abruptly, wriggling backwards to prop himself up against the headboard of the bed. He spreads his legs wide, for his lover to see everything. He then lays his fingers from one hand back around his shaft and starts stroking, while he presses two fingers of his other hand deep inside him.   
  
Noel can hear Cameron moaning his name brokenly and making him feel as if he is about to die.  
  
“Fuck, this is so mean,” Cam breathes, “two more days without you, how should I survive that?”  
  
Noel smirks, feeling precum dropping down his shaft, while opening himself wide for his lover. He slides the two fingers in and out, the pace matching the strokings of his cock. This all combined, plus the sight of a gone Cameron stroking himself to orgasm, is too much for Noel to take any longer. When he jabbs his prostate for the first time, he knows he won't need long to finish.  
  
“I'm close.” Noel tells him breathlessly, his body trembling from the dual sensation and the sight of Cam's biceps muscles flexing as he pumps his dick.  
  
“No, not yet. Wait for me, baby, I need to savour this sight.” Cam says with a voice thrumming with need. “Holy shit!”  
  
Noel whimpers while his body slowly arches off the bed, his cock leaking as he tries to keep his orgasm at bay. He needs to avoid his prostate on his next thrusts, or otherwise he'll shoot his load right now.  
  
“Don't be quiet. Wanna hear you." Cam forces, bringing Noel to release the breath he is holding in a loud exhale, that is followed by a slight whine and another sigh.  
  
"Like that." Cam nods, increasing his pace, intent on cumming with his fiancé.  
  
Needy whimpers follow from both of their lips, growing more audible as Noel's balls tighten and a familiar prickling raises in his belly.   
  
Fortunately, Cam doesn't let him suffer any longer. “Alright, I need to come. Come with me!” he demands, shaking his head and gnawing on the inside of his cheek as his dick twitches, ready for release.  
  
That is all the permission Noel needs to hear, and he speeds up his strokings and lets his fingers brush hard against his sweet spot, before he lets himself go with a pleasured moan. He forces his eyes to stay open, to see Cameron doing the same, while his entire body spasms and streams of cum run down his hand and onto his lends. Cam is coming right with him.   
  
They may be 1.769 miles away from each other, but they can still come together.   
  
Fuck, Cameron shuddering through his climax is definitely one of Noel's favorite sights. He forces himself to breathe easy again and pulls out his fingers from his contracting hole, wishing it would be Cameron's dick he's milking. Wishing that the cum on Cameron's hands and stomach would fill him up, before dripping out of him again.   
  
They both crash back down to reality, Noel in the bed of his hotelroom and Cam on their bed in LA. “Wish I could lick this mess up.“ Cam says, after he found his breath again.  
  
Noel nods disappointed. “Wish that too“ he admits, struggling to sit up and reach for some tissues to clean himself off. He then shuffles off the bed, but is held back immediately.  
  
“No, don’t dress yourself, yet!” Cam objects, “I need to see you naked for a bit longer!”  
  
Noel smiles and leans himself back at the headboard again, _naked_. Both keep staring at each other for some moments in silence, admiring each other‘s body from the distance.  
  
“Hey Cam“ Noel then whispers with a certain expression on his face.  
  
“Huh?“ Cameron's eyebrows shoot up with curiosity.  
  
“You're all I've ever wished for!“  
  
And it's true. The redhead, who‘s blushing infront of him, makes him more than happy. He completes him in ways he never thought would be possible for him. It's more than he ever thought he could dream of. And in 4 months 141 days and approximately 15 hours he'll be married to him for the rest of his life.  
  
But who is counting?  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GOOOOD, can this interview be real?!?!?!?! PLEASE :)
> 
> Believe me, I had so much fun writing this chapter, hehe.. Hope you liked it as well *mwah*
> 
> Thanks for leaving kudos and/or comments :)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We do a little time jump to the middle of April.
> 
> Sorry.. or not sorry?! I don't know, let's find out :-P
> 
> Anyways, ENJOY and tell me what you think about what's happening so far. All feedback is appreciated <3
> 
> PS.: At the end of this chapter, you can find a link within the text. Just click on it to get to the photo. Thank you LuckyShaz for instructing and helping me :)

Mid-April  
  
(NOEL'S POV)  
  
It's been ten days. Ten days without the freckled, goofy face he learnt to love. And there isn't a day that goes by, when he doesn't miss him like crazy. Six days to go, until he sees him again.  
  
Noel has been here in Texas now since the 20th of march and Cameron in Canada since the same date. Both had to travel to the shooting location three days before the shooting started, as some preparations had to be done. The beginning of their shoots then started on the 23nd march and two weeks of work passed, until Cameron came for his first visit. Unfortunately, of course much too short, three days. Three days in which Cameron had a break from shooting 'Anthem' and Noel tried to free himself as often as possible from his schedule. But much to their frustration, they couldn't really use the time for a great reunion. Too many prearrangements for the upcoming wedding needed to be done.  
  
The invitations were given the final touches and were sent out, the flower decorations were laid down, the seating arrangements were determined, table cards were made and a common speech was written.  
  
The wedding suits were bought separately and not shown to each other. Both wanted to see the other for the first time dressed infront of the altar.  
  
The catering for the wedding dinner on the beach under a giant pavilion had been fixed two months ago and the wedding cake commissioned one month ago.  
  
The day is getting closer and closer and Noel can't tell he's not getting more and more nervous with every passing day. Sure, he's really looking forward to it, to be Cameron's husband for eternity. But somehow the shoot for TLRH clouds his mind, makes him melancholic about the luck he has with Cameron. Not everyone is so lucky. A lot of people look for the love of their lives for a lifetime and don't find them. And others may have found them, but lost them tragically. Sickness, accident or war. Fates that will now be portrayed by Cameron and Noel in their new movies.  
  
Somehow he can't shake off the feeling that he has _too_ much luck in his life. In fact, the short sexual crisis he recently went through, and the ensuing quarrel with his parents, was pretty much the only hard time he had ever had in his entire life.  
  
_Ridiculous_ , when he compares this life with that of Tomas Young, the character he plays in TLRH. Why is he allowed to live such a great life, while others have to suffer so much? This is simply not fair.  
  
From the beginning, he and his sister were raised by parents who loved them above all else. He lived in a beautiful house, always had a roof over his head, never had to suffer from hunger. His parents made it possible for him to live his dream by paying for drama school.  
  
From there on his career took its course and with each played role, his degree of recognition increased. Not to mention what he has his 'Mickey Milkovich' role to thank for. In the meantime he was allowed to meet a wonderful woman and spent twelve great years with her.  
  
And then suddenly, when he thought he couldn't get any happier, he met _him_. Or more precisely, all of a sudden he fell in love with _him_.  
  
The love he feels for him is exciting, passionate, gentle, stormy, intimate. In other words, it's simply beautiful. The tingling in his stomach, every time he sees him. The fire that blazes in his whole body, as soon as Cameron looks at him. The flutter in his gut, with each of his touches. The goosebumps that spread all over his skin as soon as their lips meet. The infinite great love, which flows like blood through his veins, into every single cell, as soon as their bodies are connected. It’s pure love.  
  
Cameron is the best thing that‘s happened to him in his entire life and he will never be able to believe his happiness. It‘s almost frightening how happy and satisfied this young redhead makes him.  
  
_Too_ frightening. What if karma is coming after him? What if he has been too lucky in his life so far, and has a completely different, gloomy destiny ahead of him? What if Cameron will be taken away from him?  
  
He just can't think about it. He shakes his head, trying to get rid of the horrible visions that seem to infect his whole brain, while his eyes become glassy. _Fuck_. If he's going to lose him, there's no going on for him. No way to live where Cameron isn‘t. He can almost picture his Romeo  & Juliet death infront of him.

Hot tears make their way over his cheeks, dripping from his chin to the covers of his bed. He checks the clock. 6:28am and no chance for sleep. He wallows in bed from right to left, trying to suppress the thoughts that haunt him. Since Cameron got the role for 'Anthem', portraying the teenager Luke, who foresees the death of his new best friend Stan which later becomes reality, and Noel got the role for 'TLRH' portraying Tomas, a soldier who lost his life in the Iraq war, his thoughts about losing someone you love seem to recur in his mind again and again.  
  
But since both of them actually started to shoot, he hasn't sleep a wink. Thoughts about losing Cameron get him all choked up. He can't breathe, he can't sleep, he can't distract himself from this feeling.  
  
On the one hand, he had fun working with Cameron on the wedding preparations ten days ago. He is happy that they'll soon make this important step together. On the other hand, it's fucking frightening. With the marriage they'll make the last step closer to each other. Cameron will assume just like him, the alliance and promise to stay with him for a lifetime. What if, he can‘t stick to this plan? Sure, Cameron promises him now that he‘d never leave him voluntarily. This, however, doesn‘t reduce the pain that comes when he is taken from him in a different, tragic way.  
  
_Fuck it_. Fuck his thoughts. He _won‘t_ lose Cameron. He _can‘t_ lose Cameron. It's nonsense to even think about it. It won't happen. _No_ it won't.  
  
He needs to calm down again, because he knows that Cameron notices his strange behaviour. It was great to have him here, it helped to remove the painful thoughts for a little while out of his head. But not for too long. In some silent moments, like when Cameron was sleeping and Noel couldn’t take his eyes off him, the pain flooded his thoughts again. Or when Cameron was working on something for their wedding and Noel couldn’t focus on anything other than the beautiful redhead infront of him, the breath seemed to stick in his throat. Every “I love you“ was hard to hear and to return. Not, because it’s not true. _No_. But because of the panic that rose in his gut, that it might be the last time to hear or say that. You never know when the last time to see someone you love has come. The thought, that maybe the airplane Cameron has to take back to Canada crashes down and Cameron is going to die, was a bitter smack to the lovely words. What if it’s the last time he is able to see this beautiful, adorable man he learnt to love the most?  
  
No, Noel wasn’t able to shut out this thoughts or feelings when Cameron was there. On the contrary, his visit made it even worse. Because he saw and recognized once again, what his death would mean to him. Probably his own death, because he wouldn’t be able to live in a world without Cameron _fucking_ Monaghan.  
  
So he did it again. Or more precisely, he _does_ it again. He tries to bring some distance between Cam and himself, only to protect himself from the pain he might feel someday. And to protect Cameron. He doesn't want him to share his fears, doesn't want to scare him. He somehow wants to go through it alone, sitting it out until he manages to deal with it. God, he really hopes he is going to die first.  
  
Noel knows, he‘s shutting him out again. Somehow this is the tactic that he has learned to deal with difficult things. But Cameron had begged him to open up to him if he ever gets scared again. And he knows that Cameron has sensed his fears within his visit ten days ago. He just didn't say something, because he's a gentleman, giving Noel time to bring it up on his own. And Noel owes him the truth, they are going to be husband and husband after all.  
  
So he should do it. He should open up to his fiancé and talk to him about it. He'll call him tonight to tell him about his fears.  
  
Since there's no way for him to sleep for the last hour he has left, he gets up and makes himself a strong cup of coffee. When he's awake, it's easier to ignore the discomfort. He doesn't have a lot of time to think.  
  
He hears his phone buzzing on the nightstand drawer and makes his way back to the bed. He furrows his brows in confusion, when he reads who's calling.  
  
“Layla, what's up?“

 

  
  
  
(CAMERON'S POV)  
  
He climbs out of bed, only wearing his boxers and Noel's t-shirt, sighing in frustration from the lack of sleep he's been getting since his last trip to Texas. Noel acted really weird and Cameron can't shake off the feeling that something is wrong. Something bothers Noel and once again Noel doesn't say a thing.  
  
It's frustrating that after all they went through, it still seems as if Noel can't open up to him. How should their marriage work in 'good times, bad times, sickness, health' and all that shit, when Noel keeps him away from all the problems? Cameron can't be the husband he wants to be, helping his man through every crisis, when he isn't allowed to guide him through or show him a way out.  
  
And the worst of all is, that Cameron really thought they had improved. Cameron tried not to push Noel too much and he had the feeling that Noel tried his best to tell him about everything that bothered him. They had a great time together during the last months they were able to spend with each other. Their relationship seemed to be stable and good. _No,_ it seemed to be _perfect_. Maybe _too_ perfect.  
  
What if the upcoming wedding is the reason for his strange behaviour? What if Noel is suddenly getting cold feet? What if he doesn't want to marry him anymore? What if the rush of things made him realize that he isn't sure about them anymore and won't tell Cameron so as not to hurt him?  
  
Cameron bites hard on his lips, taking a donut from yesterday out of the paper bag on the kitchen counter and goes to the couch of his hotel room to sit down and relax for a bit. He takes his phone from the table and scrolls through the latest news, while taking a bite from his sweet. He needs to distract himself from the fear, that nearly makes him vomit.  
  
No new messages. Not from Noel and not from Ronya.  
  
Well, not hearing from Ronya isn’t a bad thing. Because since he and Noel came out, Ronya sends him everything that can be found on the internet about them, even if it's only about one of them. Pictures, articles, interviews, stories. But since Cameron gave the interview, the amount of stories and articles is decreasing. Much to both of their joys.  
  
Cameron leans back, finishes eating, only to have the fears climb back into his mind again. Noel is hiding something from him, he just doesn't know what it is. Cameron has sworn himself to give Noel time. But not to hear anything from Noel is in no way pleasant.   
  
At the beginning of their recent jobs, he always woke up to one message. Either he got one at night, before Noel went to sleep (because he's always the one who stays up longer) or in the morning (because for some creepy reason he's also the one getting up earlier). But the messages and phone calls are decreasing, and when they talk, Noel is always short-spoken. He excuses himself that he has to hang up to get back to work or to bed, because he needs to get up early the next morning. Also their daily Skype sex has reduced to twice a week. And Cameron really can't take it anymore. He needs to know what's wrong, needs Noel to tell him what seems to sadden him. Even if it may mean that Noel tells him, that he can't marry him.  
  
As hard as it is to convince Noel once again to talk and open up to him, it's harder for Cameron to just sit and wait. So he makes the decision to call him tonight and ask about it.  
  
Cameron exhales heavily, scratching his head and gets up to make his way to the bathroom. He'll take a shower, maybe the hot steam of the water will help him to wash his fears away. Or at least help to calm him down a little.  
  
Maybe it's nothing. Maybe he's freaking out for no reason. Maybe Noel is just stressed about his job and the upcoming wedding and things will get better when they finish shooting in two weeks. _Maybe_...  
  
He peels Noel's grey V-neck shirt he has bartered with Noel for one of his own, off his head and takes one deep breath into the soft fabric.  
  
Even after weeks, it still smells like him. Okay, he has to admit that during his last visit, he forced Noel to wear the t-shirt all the time, only to reinforce the fragrance. But he would always get that smell, no matter how little it is. His memory is already marked, only a short smell and _boom_ , his hair stands on end and in his body spreads a pleasant warm feeling.  
  
He can't lay the shirt away, instead he balls it together and takes another few deep breaths. In hard times like these, when Noel is too far away and he is barely able to talk to him, he clings on everything he can get from his lover. When he's outside, he often swipes through his pictures on his phone. When he's at home, he smells on his shirt ( _and_ takes a look at the pictures on his phone).  
  
So it's no surprise that after days full of angst, frustration and tension, his body reacts on his own to the intense fragrance of Noel. The warm feeling expands to every single nerve in his body and the blood rushes through his veins to his dick.  
  
When Cameron lays the shirt away, to step into the shower, closing the glass door behind him, his cock is already mid hard.  
  
He turns on the hot water and, for a few minutes, just lets it run from his head over his back to his feet, his arms resting on the wall, helping him support his weight.  
  
He tries to shake off his thoughts and just concentrate on Noel. His body, his smell, his taste, his noises.  
  
Even though he is currently the reason for Cameron's concern, he is also the man for whom it's worth living. And he is still the only one who can free him from this misery.  
  
Without even touching, his dick is rock hard, begging for attention with the need to be touched. With images of himself covering Noel's body with kisses, licking at his nipples just to tease him, he wraps his hand around his cock, starting to slowly palm his already leaking dick.

Imagining Noel moaning, a moan also rolls off his lips while he pumps his dick slowly. In his mind, he wanders down Noel’s body, kissing every freckle and birthmark he can find, until he buries his face in Noel’s pubic hair.

Cameron has to bite at the inside of his upper arm, while his fantasy gets the better of him. The hot water pours away the drops of precome that make their way down to the floor, as Cameron starts stroking himself a little faster. His head hangs low, his wet hair hindering him from opening his eyes. But there’s no need for him to do so, reality would just hit him.

He rather lets them stay squeezed shut and enjoys the imagery of blowing and opening Noel at the same time. Two of his fingers slamming in and out of the hot hole he loves the most, while on his tongue there’s the best salty-sweet taste that one can wish for.

He can‘t restrain his groans as he strokes his thumb over the sensitive head of his dick. _Noel_. He can literally taste him, feeling his weight on his tongue. His dick spreading the taste with every thrust inside Cameron‘s mouth.

He tightens his grip, pumps faster. In his mind three of his fingers have already made their way into Noel.

It‘s too much. Even if he‘s miles away from him, the notion of Noel alone brings him closer to his climax. Just as in real life, he also needs in fantasy to be inside of Noel. He has to get in this hot puckered hole. He has to feel it. His memory must be able to transfer the tight heat to his dick. He needs it. God, he needs _him._

He strokes faster, his lungs only able to produce ragged breaths. His chest is heaving, his eyes squeezed shut.

He can see himself pushing Noel's legs apart just to thrust his whole length into him to the inner stop. Cameron is already on the verge of exploding. That's why there‘s no more adjustment in his inner visions. There is no time left for that. He has to ram his dick into him, has to split him in half. He has to get Noel screaming with his long cock alone. He wants it. He wants it so, so much.

Cameron imagines Noel arching beneath him. He screams out for Cameron, begging him to go harder and deeper, which the redhead obeys. Also in reality, he grabs his own leaking cock harder, rams it firmly into his own fist. Noel is under him just a blabbering mess. He doesn‘t understand his words anymore, but it could be a mix of 'please' and 'oh god'. Cameron doesn‘t care. It‘s only about 'hearing' his voice. His desperate cries, with the plea for release. Cameron will give it to him. His own dick implores him to end it.

His legs are already shaking, he doesn‘t know how long he still manages to keep himself standing. His stroking is so fast and firm, his whole arm feels numb. But that doesn‘t matter to him either, because in his head, he has now found Noel's prostate and is jabbing into it as if there‘s no tomorrow. Noel yells. He cries. He whimpers. He sighs. His breath is just like Cameron's; just trembling.

Cameron tries to concentrate on Noel's tight ring of muscles that starts to contract on his cock, as it always does when he is about to shoot his load. He bites his lips and tries to give himself to this feeling. Hot, wet contractions of lust around his penis. He recognizes his own balls tightening, the need for release spreading through his abdomen. He imagines Noel's lustblown face and shoots his load when Noel screams his name in ecstasy. While he is pumping himself through his own orgasm, he’s murmuring Noel's name only in a faint whisper. “Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel, ...“

After a few minutes of adrenalin flooding his whole body, the intoxication ebbs away. And instead of seeing a happy and satisfied Noel, he only sees a white shower wall, when he opens his eyes again.

 

 

 

“So, you’re really gay?“ Peyton asks, chewing on her grilled tuna sandwich, while they are sitting together with Grayson another colleague, in the cafeteria of the set.

“Yeah“ he answers without hesitation, looking from his chicken curry up to her.

"Like, really, _really_?" the blonde, attractive girl digs deeper once again.

Cameron has to huff a laugh, looking to Grayson, who shakes his head in discomfort. "Yes Peyton, really, _really_. Why?"

She shrugs, as if she's going to say something completely offhand. "Because I'd totally hit on you, if you were straight." She takes another bite from her sandwich, staring him deeply in the eyes.

Cameron is taken aback, feeling himself blushing. He doesn't remember ever seing someone at her age flirting that purposive and self confident. He stares back, but isn't able to take another bite of the meal infront of him. 

"Okay, time for me to leave." Grayson weighs in on this conversation, then takes his plate and heads out the room.

Peyton smiles. She probably enjoys to play with reactions of men, by overstepping some boundaries. "No really, I can almost picture us wandering through Disneyland, sitting in a pink teacup, that you'd drive completely insane, riding the rollercoaster and just having fun the whole day. You'd be my type." She once again shrugs nonchalantly.

Cameron lays his fork aside, keeping a straight face and clears his throat. He blinks a few times until he finds his voice again. "Yeah, that's _not_ happening, because I have a fiancé and am going to marry him in a month."

Peyton giggles. "Chill tiger. I've seen the interview, I've read some articles. I know how crazy you are about Noel fucking Fisher. I just wanted to say that you broke many women hearts when you came out. What woman wouldn't want someone like you talking about your relationship in that sweet way?  God Monaghan, that was just disgustingly sweet. You should at least go to Disneyland with him! It's always a nice and lovely trip." She winks at him and Cameron shakes his head smirking, looking embarassed to his plate again.

Noel and him in Disneyland. How crazy would it be? But somehow in an exciting and thrilling way. If things wouldn't be that complicated, he'd probably make this suggestion to Noel. Although he can already see that fucker making fun of him.

But Cameron would really want to go. Take a day off, have time for them as a couple, without the stress of work or the upcoming wedding. Just being a child once again, even if only for one day. Messing about with Noel, running hand in hand with him through Disneyland. Taking pictures with Mickey Mouse (which would probably make the Shameless/Gallavich fans laugh at the 'Mickey' photo). Bubbling over with laughter and not being able to take their hands off each other while walking. Feeding each other candyfloss, having fun and forgeting all the worries.  
  
That's what they would need now. And that's exactly, what he'll tell Noel to do. Today, when he calls him, he will try to find out what Noel is hiding from him. He will try to get Noel to open up to him, will try to take his fears about the upcoming wedding from him (he really hopes that it's only banal fears Noel is dealing with) and then, he will bring up the idea of a day off in Disneyland. A day only for them, when they will prove their love to each other once again.

His phone buzzing in his pants stops him from his train of thoughts. He takes it out of his pockets and opens the message Ronya has sent him. Peyton's eyes are scanning him the whole time.

At first he can only see the [photo of Noel and Layla](https://68.media.tumblr.com/70d2bfa944fd388aef1e833f9cc53aed/tumblr_oprskzqQnb1veiy1po1_1280.jpg) on the set of TLRH, before the headline ties his throat:

'No more 'Mosher‘. Fisher back to Alizada'

So that's it. That's the reason for Noel's strange behaviour?

"You okay?" Peyton asks, laying her hand on his own trembling one. He feels sudden heat spreading over his whole body and suddenly has the need to vomit. Sweat peels off his forehead and around him everything gets dizzy. He needs to get out as fast as he can. He pushes his chair back, staggering towards the entrance. He hears a worried Peyton calling out his name and turns around once again, only to answer her.

"No, I'm not okay!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cough* UPS...!
> 
> I promise to make it up to you!!! Just stick with me :)
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to Nicrenkel. Thank you Nicole, for giving me the inspiration for it!!! *mwah* <3 <3 <3
> 
> Thank you for leaving kudos and/or comments!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that I didn't update sooner, I didn't want to make you wait this long.. But of course something has cropped up!!
> 
> I hope this chapter can make it up to you, though!
> 
> Give me your feedback <3

(NOEL'S POV)  
  
'Hi, this is Cam. Leave a message after the Beep. BEEEEEP'  
  
“Jesus Cam, that's about the five hundredth time I'm trying to reach you. Please answer your phone or call me the fuck back. I'm going crazy over here. I love you!"  
  
He hangs up, his head hanging low beneath his shoulders, while some desperate sobs escape his throat. He doesn't get it. Why the hell is Cameron ignoring his calls and messages?   
  
Noel paces up and down the room. Since he finished work at 6:15 pm today, he’s beeing trying to reach him. Now it's 2:06am in the fucking morning and no sound from his fiancé. That is completely unusual for him. Usually Cameron always calls him at night when he's at home. And when there's a reason he can't call him that night, he writes a message to excuse himself. But this... this is not Cameron.  
  
_Fuck_ , by now Noel calls him in a minute cycle. First he thought Cameron would call him back soon, but tried again after an hour of not hearing a thing. When there was neither a message nor a recall, he tried it again after 30 minutes. Then after 25, then 15, then 10, then 5 and now ... Well, now he would like to dial his number right again after hanging up.   
  
_Damn_ , it should have been different today. Today he wanted to explain everything to him, wanted to apologize for being so rejecting. He wanted to tell him how much he loves him and that he can hardly wait to marry him soon. But now Cameron is ignoring him for unexplainable reasons, even though this conversation would have been so important to him, _them_.  
  
Noel knows that Cameron noticed his cold behaviour. Every time they skyped, Cam looked like he would like to jump through the laptop to pump him for information about what's going on. And yet Noel couldn't tell him about his fears.  
  
He couldn't bring it in his heart to possibly trigger the same fears in Cameron. He wanted to come to terms with them by himself.  
  
But he obviously didn't manage it alone. He needs his anchor to help him overcome his fears.  
  
In an attempt to set a mark of goodwill, to show Cameron that he won't be cold again, Noel even sang to him on the mailbox today, on his third call. Damn, he really sang a song to prove his love to the redhead.  
  
_'I just called to say I love you, I just called to say how much I care, I just called to say that I miss you, and I mean it from the bottom of my heart'_  
  
Yes, he has sunk so deep, that he trolled an oldie of Stevie Wonder, in the mailbox of his fiancé.  
  
And that Cameron doesn't even react to _this_  love message, is _really_  unusual for him. Something has to be wrong...  
  
What if his biggest fears suddenly came true and something happened to Cameron? What if he got hit by a car on the way back to the hotel? Or on the way to work? What if a stunt for the shoot went wrong? Maybe while he was skating? (Cameron had to learn how to for his role of 'Luke' and by now he does it very well. But he's no professional, so you never know.)  
  
Noel breathes deeply and sits down at the edge of the bed. He rubs his palm over his face, trying to stop himself from going completely crazy.   
  
Okay, he needs to think logically, or otherwise put himself in a nuthouse.   
  
If something would've happened to Cam, it probably would've been all over the news. So he's going to check this. Make sure, that at least Cameron isn't dead or in hospital.  
  
Noel takes his Macbook and puts it on his lap, typing fast and all keyed up 'Cameron Monaghan' into the Google search bar. He clicks on 'news' at the head line of the homepage and gets all the recent news about his lover, that are linked to his name. He looks at the top article of the list, which is also the newest entry.  
  
And suddenly, he is able to put two and two together...  
  
Sweat begins to form on his forehead, his heart dropping into his stomach. The headline of the article says 'No more 'Mosher‘. Fisher back to Alizada'. He clicks on it and is confronted with the picture he took with Layla today. He skims over the one and a half sided article and feels some vomit making it's way up his throat. He presses his palm against his mouth and stops breathing for a few moments.  
  
The article is full of lies and bullshit. None of that is true. It says, that Noel and Layla kissed each other for the greeting and goodbye. Yeah, but they could've mentioned that they kissed each other _on the cheeks_! And it's also written that it looked a lot like flirting, which is just _not_  true.  
  
Layla called him early in the morning to say that she's coincidentally working in Texas too and needs to meet him. For Noel it's very important to be on good terms with her, after all they share a wonderful past with each other. Of course he was ready to meet her, but his schedule for today didn't allow him to leave the set. That's why he asked her to visit him there, which she did.  
  
In his pause, they went to the cafeteria together and Layla came out with the reason why she wanted to see him in first place. She wants to get his name out of the purchase contract for their house and wants to give him half of the selling price. Noel was a little taken by surprise by that request, but is also willing to give her what she wants. Besides, he doesn't need the house anymore. He's never going to leave L.A - at least not without the freckled redhead on his side. So they talked about the conditions and afterwards about things that are going on in their lives. She even wished him all the best for his upcoming wedding and yeah, at some point they even managed to laugh with each other again. But that was miles away from anything that could be called 'flirting'.  And Cameron should know that. _Fuck_.   
  
This has to be the reason for the ignored messages and calls. Cameron is hurt. But he can't really believe this shit, can he? He must _know_ that this is complete bullshit and Noel would never do this to him. Cameron should know by now, how much Noel loves him. Damn, they are going to marry in a month.  
  
Noel picks his phone from the bed beside him and calls Cameron's number again.  
  
'Hi, this is Cam. Leave a message after the Beep. BEEEEEEP'  
  
"Cam, I just saw the article on the internet right now, and if I have to make a guess, I'd say, that this is probably the reason why you’re not answering  your fucking phone." He breathes fast and heavily in disconcertment, before he speaks up again. "You know it's bullshit Cam, you _know_ it! Nothing from this fucking article is true, except that Layla came for a short visit. _Please_ Cam, talk to me. Please talk to me baby. I love you."  
  
After two minutes without any answer, he shoots off another text, which actually says the same as his voice message.  
  
He then opens a new word document and types down a statement about Layla's visit for the public, also pointing out that he and Cam are still together, and sends it to his press agent Camille. He types another SMS with the plea, to hand this statement immediately to the press.  
  
Now he can't do anymore. He just has to wait and hope that Cameron will talk to him soon.   
  
Finally his phone buzzes in his hands and he nearly drops it from sheer excitement. But his hopes burst again as he reads Layla's name on the display.  
  
-Sorry, I didn't mean for this to happen. Hope everything's fine with Cameron. XO L. -  
  
Noel lets his back fall against the mattress and squeezes his glassy eyes shut.  
  
No, nothing is fine with him.  
  
This however, is the only message Noel receives until the next day.  
  
  
  
  
He's going crazy. It's 6:28am in the morning and he's still wandering up and down the lengthside of the bed. He never went to sleep, hoping for a message or a call from his idiot boyfriend. Because Noel knew, that Cameron probably wouldn't sleep as well, not for a second. So why the hell was he still ignoring him?   
  
He is a mess. A total mess. His hair is standing in all directions, because he‘s ruffled it constantly, his fingertips are red and swollen, because he’s been chewing his nails nervously, the dark circles around the eyes are hanging low ionto his cheeks, because he‘s gotten way too little sleep during the last weeks (especially today) and his stomach is growling, because of the lack of eating he did. He can't eat, he nearly has to choke at the thought of it.  
  
Sure they had their fights every now and then, but Cameron has never ignored him. At least not for this long!   
  
Shit, now he knows how Cameron must have felt back when he went back to Layla after her father died, and Noel didn't answer his messages. Maybe this is payback?   
  
No, Cameron wouldn't be that mean, or petty. He just must be really hurt to act like this. Shit.  
  
He can't stand it any longer. If Cameron won't call him today, Noel is ready to be sent right into the nutshouse at the end of it. But unfortunately, it doesn't seem that Cameron will call him back soon, or even write him, because Noel alreadly told him that literally on his fucking voice mail!  
  
Fuck, he needs to make a decision now, he can't deal with this situation any longer.  
  
  
   
  
(CAMERON'S POV)  
  
"God, you look like shit!" Peyton comments as she heads to the dressing room, where they need to get ready for the upcoming scene.  
  
"Yeah, good morning to you too, Peyton." he answers halfheartedly.   
  
She doesn't need to point out the obvious. Of course he looks like shit. It's because he _feels_ like shit after another night of not sleeping. There wasn't even time for him to close his eyes, because his phone never stopped buzzing. Noel flooded him with messages and voice mails, told him, that he's going crazy, if he didn't hear something from him. And Cameron feels guilty, really. But at the same time he is also deeply hurt. Not because he believes any of the shit that is written in that damn article. No. He knows damn well, that Noel loves him. In fact, he had thrown his concerns about Layla's and Noel's reunion with the third of his calls over board, when Noel sang for him a stupid love song from Stevie Wonder. _God, this man_...  
  
But he's hurt, that Noel shut him out during the past weeks and didn't even mention that Layla was coming for a visit. Why didn't he just tell him that? Did he think that Cameron would act like a jealous bitch? That he would tell him that he can't see her? That's ridiculous, and Noel should know it. Cameron would never do that. If Ruby would've came for a visit, he would've told Noel _for sure_. Because he knows that Noel would've been jealous and hurt about a secret meeting. Whereas Ruby and Cam don't even had this intimate and deep history that connects them to each other like Layla and Noel do. 

And that's exactly why Cameron resents Noel and why he decided to let him tantalize until tonight.

He should think once again about what it means to be engaged. You can't be happily married, if someone is always hiding something from the other.  
  
"Is this still about Layla and Noel?" Peyton asks, coming to a stand beside him and rubbing his back up and down in comfort. "You still haven't talked to him?"  
  
Peyton knows what's going on because after he left the cafeteria yesterday, she followed him outside and tried to calm him down. She didn't let go until he finally showed her the article and both spent their shooting break analyzing reasons why Noel could've hidden this from him. It felt good to confide in her and it's only due to her, that he managed to slip into his role back again, after their break. When the day finally ended for them, Peyton however didn't want to leave him alone and accompanied him to his room, where the discussion about Noel's strange behavior during the last few weeks lasted for hours.  
  
"No, I still haven't talked to him. Although he fired message after message at me." Cameron shakes his head, his eyes glassy from the lack of sleep.   
  
"Cam, do you _really_ believe that shit? That he's back with Layla?" Peyton questions with a raised eyebrow, her voice full of disbelief.  
  
"Nah, it's not that. I don't believe that crap. Besides, Noel gave out a press release during the night in which he denied everything. Ronya sent it to me. It's just..." his voice breaks and he looks down at his feet, shifting his weight nervously from one foot to another. "I want to show him, how it is, how it feels like when the person you love won't talk to you!"  
  
" _Jesus Christ_!" Peyton bursts out looking at him with big puppy eyes, although she seems a little annoyed. "How old are you, Cam? Because I know I'm much younger and even I wouldn't do that shit to the person I love. 'An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth' doesn't work in a relationship. When he isn't able to talk to you, fine. Wait or force him to open up, but don't pull the same shit, because this will only tear you apart even more. 'Giving and taking' is the fundament of a stable relationship. Currently  _you_ have to _give_ him space, and he _takes_ it. But there will certainly come a time, when you'll be unable to _give_ and just _take_ something from Noel. And then it's his turn to deal with it. Giving and taking, Cam, giving and taking..."  
  
She's right. Damn, he‘s acting like a total prick, letting his lover go through hell.  
  
"Fuck" he mutters, blinking away some tears at the corner of his eyes. He needs to talk to him. He takes his phone out of his pockets and scrolls to his name before he hits the 'Call' button.  
  
'Hey guys, unfortunately you can't reach me at the moment, but I am happy for every message you leave behind. Thanks. BEEEEEEP'  
  
Cam doesn't say something, he doesn't want their conversation to be from one voice mail to another. He hangs up and decides to try again later, as fast as he can free himself from his working schedule.   
  
  
  
  
(NOEL'S POV)  
  
Muscular. Tall. Sexy. Freckled. Green eyed. Incredibly talented and _oh_ with long brown hair. Doesn't make him less of a handsome man.   
  
Yeah, he can already see him from afar. His boyfriend is someone you can't pass by without noticing his breathtaking presence. Cam leans with his back against a wall, his skateboard positioned infront of him, holding it with one hand. Opposite him is a blonde beauty. Probably Peyton List, his working colleague who embodies his girlfriend in the film.  
  
Noel knows that a movie kiss is completely different from a real kiss. It's in no way romantic, being filmed and surrounded by lots of people, (okay, the kisses with Cameron for Shameless _were_ _definitely_ romantic and hot) but nevertheless, it doesn't need to mean something for both actors. However, Noel still hopes that he doesn't need to watch a kissing scene now. He doesn't want to see her wrapping her arms around _his_ boyfriend, pressing her body onto what’s his, and pushing her tongue into where his tongue belongs. Ugh, no!  
  
If he wouldn't have other problems and sorrows, like his fiance ignoring him for 29 hours and a half, he would probably become jealous and nervous at the thought of it. But _no_ , there‘s really no time for that. Even if they smile goofily at each other without even playing a scene. Peyton shoves his shoulder playfully, while saying something and Cameron laughs at that. He _laughs_ at that! Fuck, he doesn't even seem bothered or sad, which makes Noel's heart drop. Did his fiancé have fun the whole day, while Noel was going crazy?!   
  
He breathes in deeply, reminding himself that he's here to apologize and _not_ to freak out and break off a new fight. He hears the director of the movie yelling 'Action', as he steps closer to the set. For Noel as a known actor and Cameron's official fiancé, it wasn't difficult to get into the shielded filming location. To be honest, he got in pretty easy, without explaining a lot and is now finally able to watch his talented lover at work again.  
  
Cameron and Peyton, or more precisely Luke and Faith start walking next to each other down the street to where the cameras and Noel is standing. They just talkabout their common friend Stan and Noel can already see that Luke is in love with her, even though she's actually Stan's girlfriend. Cameron is such an awesome actor, even in scenes that seem to be easy to play, his inviolable talent is evident. They just walk and talk, but the way Cameron’s body and face acts, Luke’s feelings are obvious. Cameron really makes a masterpiece out of every scene.  
  
Luke and Faith come closer and closer, making Noel’s heart skip a beat. Just when he wants to hide behind a camera, so that Cameron doesn't see him and get irritated, which would be bad for the scene, that‘s _exacty_ what happens.  
  
Noel notices, that Luke or Cam is about to speak up and reply to Faith's words, when his green eyes land on Noel's blue ones. The words seem to stick in his throat and he looks like he is seeing a ghost. Peyton immediately recognizes that something is wrong and follows his gaze to see Noel. A few strange silent seconds pass, before the director calls 'Cut' and snaps Cam out of his trance.  
  
In the meantime, everybody seems to have noticed why Cameron suddenly stopped acting, and the director and some producers decide that it's time for a short break.  
  
Their eyes still connected, Cameron steps behind the cameras and closer to Noel, only to walk past him then, muttering a low “Follow me“ while he keeps heading into a certain direction. Noel is a little taken aback by this cold greeting, but turns around to follow his fiancé into his trailer.  
  
As soon as the door is shut, Noel speaks up. “It's nice to see you too, thanks!“ Cameron turns around, his puppy eyes big and glassy.   
  
“Fuck,“ Cameron's words, barely inaudible as he scoots closer to him and wraps his arms around Noel's neck “I'm sorry!“  
  
They may have just met, but Noel is already dumbfounded for the second time within two minutes. Nevertheless his body reacts to Cameron's weight as if on his own, and he clasps his arms around his waist, digging his face in the crook of his neck. “You stole my speech, man. That should've been my words.“ he mumbles, peeling away from the neck with the sweetest of all scents, because he is tickled by hair, that normally isn't there.  
  
Cameron huffs a laugh and leans down to lay a peck on his lips. “What the hell are you doing here?“ he asks, as their gazes lock with their foreheads still pressed together.  
  
“Checking if my fiancé is deceased, because why else should he ignore me for 29 and a half hours?!“ Noel says, the bitterness in his voice definitely recognizable.  
  
Cameron's whole body tenses, and he loosens himself from their touch and Noel's grip. “Shit, I'm so sorry Noel. Let.. let me explain, okay? Just.. can you stay? Because I have to get back to set, but we need to talk afterwards. Can you stay? _Please_?“ his voice is pleading, his eyes watery again.  
  
Noel nods. “Yeah, bought time for one day. Need to go back tomorrow morning though.“  
  
Cameron's voice gets excited and shrill, his whole face lightening up. “So you're staying for the night? Fuck, that's great!“   
  
A short smile shows on Noel's lips, because of the cuteness of his boyfriend, whenever he rejoices. He nods quickly, before his expression is back to serious again. “Hey Cam,“ he speaks up, before his boyfriend can make his way back to the set, “don't ever do this again!“  
  
The smile on the younger man‘s face falls, nodding his understanding. “Never!“ he promises, before both share a silent walk back to the place where the shooting continues.  
  
  
  
  
Back in Cam's hotel room, after a (thankfully) short shooting day, the afresh red-haired boy collapses exhausted onto the bed. He'd done a lot of street scenes today, which means a lot of skating scenes (and luckily _no_ kissing scene), but Noel guesses, that it's not the primary reason for his tiredness.   
  
After the makeup got removed, Noel could see the dark circles around his eyes, which brought him to the thought that Cameron hadn't had the fun Noel thought he'd had before, after all. It looks more like, he also couldn't sleep for nights, which is somehow good, and somehow isn't. If the fucker could have only answered the phone, none of that would have had to happen..  
  
He makes his way over to the bed, taking a seat at the edge of the mattress. As his weight sinks down, Cameron looks up and raises one eyebrow in confusion. He taps on his right side, indicating that Noel should lay down beside him. But Noel doesn't, they need to talk about it first.  
  
Cameron seems to get it and pushes himself up to lean against the headboard of the bed, staring down at his hands in his lap. “I'm sorry for ignoring you. I was just so... hurt and angry about the fact that you didn't even tell me that Layla would come for a visit.“  
  
“Cam-“ Noel wants to explain this situation, but is cut off by an ongoing Cameron.  
  
“No, listen. I know it was shit of me to ignore your calls and messages. But how do you think it was for me, being shut out once again by you? Cause I _know_ that something was wrong. _Is_ wrong. And instead of talking to me, you did it again, and just shut me out. Acted cold and weird for weeks. And then, all of a sudden, I got confronted with this shitty article, saying you're back together with Layla. How do you think _I_ felt about it? Huh?“ There's aggression in Cameron's voice and the tears are beginning to brim over his eyes, making their way over his beautiful washed out freckled face.  
  
This time Noel can't resist and he scoots closer to him, to take his face in his hands, his thumbs stroking away his tears.  
  
“I know, Cam. Fuck I know that I once again acted like an asshole. That's why I first called you yesterday. I wanted to apologize and tell you what‘s been heavy on my mind. But then Layla called and asked if she could come by because she wanted to talk to me about buying my name out of the contract of our.. I mean _her_ house. We talked a little longer, fans took photos and then... you know... things got out of hand. But I swear to god, I really wanted to talk to you, before everything got fucked up. Because I really want to be better. For you.“ Noel ends his speech there, hoping that his love will believe him and lets his hands sink down to Cameron's.   
  
“Before _I_ fucked up!“ Cameron adds to Noel's words, interlacing their fingers.  
  
Noel shakes his head, huffing a laugh. “We _both_ fucked up. But yeah, ignoring me wasn't cool in any way. Scared the shit out of me, man!“  
  
Cam bites hard on his bottom lip, looking ashamed from Noel's eyes to their hands. Some moments pass, which seem to lay heavily on both of them. Both weren't happy about things they themselves and the other one did. But both of them want to be better.  
  
“So will you tell me now, what‘s been going on with you in the last weeks?“ Cameron locks his gaze with him again, his green puppy eyes searching for an answer on Noel's face.   
  
The blonde man nods, feeling sightly uncomfortable at what he needs to explain next. “Yeah, but don't laugh at me or get scared!“  
  
Cam's eyes widen. “So the two options are either I laugh or I get scared?! Quite two different options. Now I'm curious.“ An encouraging smile spreads over his face, which Noel can't deny does prickling things to him.  
  
He inhales heavily, peering at the white wall behind the redhead, so as to not lose his courage. “Well.. you know how much I love you and that I can't believe my luck. But since we both started working on our new projects, I am somehow afraid to lose it all. Lose _you._ “  
  
“I‘ve already told you, that I won't ever go aw-“  
  
“No, not like _that_.“ Noel interrupts his lover. “Through an accident, war, sickness, I don't know. The only thing I know is, that I wouldn't be able to survive that.“ Noel's voice breaks, tears making his eyes glassy.  
  
Cameron squeezes his hands, forcing him to look at him again. “You _would_ survive that. You have to. The world needs Noel Fisher in it!“ his voice sounds sure, determind.  
  
“I don't think that I could. Could you?“ Noel questions, hoping the answer would be 'yes', because even if he'd be dead, he wouldn't want Cameron to get hurt. Or hurt himself.  
  
“I won't answer that stupid fucking question, because _I'm_ going to die first. No way I'd deal with your loss!“ Cameron smiles at him, and it takes a little bit of the weight from his chest.  
  
“Don't you dare!“ he retorts smirking, before the dark cloud is back above his head.  
  
“Of course I will and then you're allowed to get back with Layla. But no other man Noel, I swear! I own this ass and no one else should stick his dick into you, capisce?“ Cameron tries to lighten the mood.  
  
“So you already made plans about that, huh tough guy?“ Noel asks with a raised eyebrow, earning a nod as Cam's agreement. “Doesn't reduce the fact, that I'll not survive it! Seriously man!“  
  
And somehow the mood suddenly changes, Noel can see it in Cameron's eyes. It gets more serious, more thoughtful.  
  
“Seriously? _Okay_...“ Cameron starts, before he wraps his arms around Noel's back to bring him closer to his lap. “If one of us is going to die, after a looooooong life full of happiness and joy, the other one _needs_ to go on. For Leia and Luke. Our kids, man! It's our responsibility as parents to help _them_ deal with this shit. There's no 'I can't' because we _have to_!“ Cameron explains, while Noel's feelings are all of a sudden going from super sad to super excited. Butterflies making his heart flutter, before Cameron adds “Come on, don't think about it now. We'll get married in one month. Our life together has just begun. Let's be on cloud number nine and pretend, that we're going to die together somewhere in the end, okay?“ his hands trail up to his neck, pulling him closer to his face and leaning in for a lovely kiss.  
  
Without thinking Noel immediately reciprocates, opening his mouth for Cam to enter. His hands cup Cameron's cheeks and he strokes the soft flesh he has missed so much, while their tongues dance in both of their mouths. Before it's done for him, he pushes away to stop the growing passion. “Luke and Leia? Are you fucking kidding me, man?“ he bursts out laughing, earning an innocent shrug from the redhead in return.  
  
“Says the man, who trolls creepy old love songs into my voice mail. How should the kids be named for you? Stevie and Elvis? That up-to-date enough for you?“ his boyfriend darts his tongue out, prompting him to get taught better.  
  
“You calling me old?!“ Noel's brows shoot up, although he really couldn't care less, after the word 'kids' slipped out of his fiancé's mouth. “Oh you're going down, Army!“ he quotes one of his favorite Mickey lines, before he throws himself on the muscular body, that belongs to the guy he loves more and more with every day. “Elvis, huh? I‘ll give you Elvis!“ he jokes and starts tickling him on each side of his ribs.   
  
Cameron arches his back, wiggling underneath him from the heavy laughter he can't hold back, while Noel starts singing an Elvis song, that reminds him the most of the giggling dork in his arms:  
  
_“But I can't help, falling in love, with you..“_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope I could make everybody happy again?! :)
> 
> If you want to, check out both songs Noel sang for Cameron in this chapter - probably you know them anyway ;)
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhtyI2ZKRWU
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnhamPnvXuQ
> 
> Thank you for leaving kudos and/or comments, they are highly appreciated *mwah*


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To all my lovely readers - Enjoy this chapter :)
> 
> XXX

(CAMERON'S POV)  
  
Cam was never a big fan of his name. Not that he has anything against it, _no_ , but he never really gave much of a shit about it. It's Cameron and it's okay.   
  
But since he fell in love with Noel, he can't get enough of hearing him say it.  
  
“Cam, oh _Cam._ “ Noel sighs his name, squirming underneath him and threading his fingers through Cameron’s red hair.  
  
“Mhmm.” Cam hums, dragging his lips over Noel’s nipple as he covers Noel's body with kisses on his way down. He needs to feel him, needs to taste him. Now that they are finally back together in their apartment in LA, they have to make up for their lost time. The urge to get on each other and explore the other‘s body that they know in and out on something new, grew even bigger with the time they had to spend apart. So when Noel swung the apartment door open just some moments ago, he couldn't even say his hello before Cameron attacked his lips, yanked off his jacket, shirt and jeans and laid him down on the mattress of their bed. Too long. He hasn't tasted this body for too long.  
  
Noel's hips buck up in response, and Cameron grinds down against him. The thrill of skin against skin is just as exhilarating as it was when they first started fucking. And somehow Cameron knows, this part will never change.  
  
He continues kissing down Noel’s body and nips at his jutting hip when he finally reaches the edge of his boxers. “Tell me what you want.” the redhead prompts, as he hooks his fingers inside the band.  
  
“ _Fuck._ ” Noel exhales, looking up at Cameron with hooded eyes. “Your mouth. I want you to take me in your mouth, please, _Cam_.”  
  
A heat builds inside of him.  _Please, Cam_. He has to take a deep breath to keep himself from just pushing his dick right into Noel. _No_. He wants to postpone it as long as possible, needs to savour every second. No way he's going to jump right into fucking when Noel needs him so bad for other things right now. He wants to make this last. And though Noel would never admit it, Cam knows the older man loves when he makes him wait.  
  
“Where do you want my mouth?” Cam presses his lips to Noel's chest, letting his tongue slide over the soft skin of his nipples. “Here?”  
  
“Jesus, Cam.” Noel sighs, needy to get Cam where he wants him.  
  
“Or maybe here?” Cam pushes back and licks along the trail of red hair between his belly button and his boxers. Noel’s hips thrust up again. “I’m getting closer, where you want me, right?” Cam asks, but only earns ragged breaths in response. He moves his hands in Noel’s underwear and takes a handful of the ass he loves so much. “Tell me what you need.”  
  
“Fucking tease, you know exactly what I need“ Noel manages to get out, while Cameron notices his dick twitching in anticipation at this statement. It brings everything in Cameron to a shudder. He has missed his taste for weeks now, no need to let himself and Noel wait any longer. He yanks down Noel's boxer briefs in one swoop and hovers about the drops of precum that pools at the head of his lover's cock.  
  
"Suck it!“ Noel demands, trembling when Cameron first ghosts over his balls, before he lays a flat lick on it. He licks further up, along Noel's shaft, until he reaches the head of his dick and swirls his tongue around. He presses his tongue against the slit, relishing the taste of Noel's precome. When he wraps his long fingers around the pulsating arousal, while his mouth keeps sucking everything out of the tip, Noel groans loudly. “Oh Cam, oh fuck!“  
  
Again there are spreading goosebumps across his body, when he hears _him_ saying his name with a lustfilled voice.  
  
"Like that, huh?" Cam asks confident, bobbing his head up and down his throbbing length. His tongue swirls around his head, only to make it back down again.  
  
" _Fuuuck_ , I've missed you so much. Missed this." Noel whines, and fuck if his noises don't urge Cameron on. He starts deep throating him, hollowing his cheeks and dragging teeth over the sensitve skin, before he goes back to lapping at the head of his leaking cock, making Noel a completely wreck underneath him.   
  
Cam notices the blonde's whole body beginning to tremble, before he feels him grabbing onto his hair even harder. Cameron is overwhelmed from the intensity of the situation. Tasting Noel, making him squirm underneath him combined with the fact that Noel is here with him and not another imagination, is almost unbearably wonderful.  
  
He lets himself get high on his taste, his smell, his weight on his tongue. He ghosts over Noel's balls and nips at his thigh, before his mouth his back on his cock and Noel's tip is brushing against the back of his throat. This is the time, when Noel's fingers tap on Cameron's cheek, indicating that he should stop. “Need you inside me.“ Noel whispers, his voice only a ragged breath. Before Cameron lets go of Noel's dick with a pop, he licks with his tongue over the leaking slit one more time, savouring his partner's distinctively taste.  
  
Cam crawls back up, kissing Noel hard to the mattress while he quickly sheds the clothes that still remain on his body. Cameron can feel Noel fumbling for something in their nightstand drawer, although he keeps his lips connected to Cam's. Their tongues slide from one mouth into the other, Cam letting his hard dick rub against Noel's over and over again. Their kisses are filled with moans and sharp breaths, before Noel detaches himself from Cam and tosses him the lube, indicating that he's ready for the next step.  
  
"Wanna eat you open." Cam says spreading Noel's legs with his own, while he's already on his way back down.  
  
" _Cam_ , I need you in me, man!" Noel urges, his eyes half closed, while he bites hard on his bottom lip, "Hurry up and use your long fingers. We have plenty of time for that later."  
  
Cam smirks at that, coating his fingers with the gel. “Welcome home, my needy little bottom.“ he jokes, while his fingers begin to trace around Noel's puckered hole. He slowly pushes the first finger inside of him, gasping when Noel instantly starts to contract around it. _God_ he's so tight. After so long without being inside of Noel, it feels like it's the first time for both of them again. Noel's hole clenches, as if no one has ever been there before, and Cam knows he's going to shoot his load like a virgin who‘s experiencing sex for the first time. _Shit,_ he can't wait for this heat to engulf him. He bounces his finger as he pushes in deeper. To distract Noel from the bruning stretch, he leans down to kiss him, as he starts with small circles. When Noel's back stop arching, he makes them wider with every rotation.   
  
“Oh holy fucking shit." Noel sighs as Cam adds another finger and continues where the first left off. Knowing that his lover's body is already hungry for more, he starts brushing against his prostate, while scissoring his fingers. When the third finger is add, Cam can hear Noel exhaling soft whimpers into his mouth, swallowing each of them down. He reaches beneath them and wraps his free hand around his leaking cock. Noel groans loudly, when Cam starts stroking him.   
  
“Oh wow, oh no. No, no, _no_. Get the fuck in me!“ he begs him to stop the teasing.  
  
Cam immediately obeys, getting on his knees, while keeping an eye on his beautiful boyfriend. His face is flushed redder around the mouth, his lips puffy and well kissed. Jesus, he's the most beautiful man, he has ever seen in his entire life and probably will remain. He needs to get the fuck in him right now, or otherwise he'll shoot his load over Noel's stomach. He breaks their gaze, looking down to his hard dick, while lining it up with Noel's entrance. When he slowly inches his cock into Noel's tightness, he feels the gorgeous man under him trembling with need and lust.  
  
“Oh Cam. Cam, Cam, _Cam._ “ Noel repeats his name over and over again with eyes squeezed shut, until the said one finally bottoms out, plunged to the hilt.  
  
This is when Noel opens his eyes again and Cam finds himself staring in those wonderful blue eyes, savouring the sight of a pleasure given Noel. Cheeks flushed, lips swollen, lips parted. It's fucking hot. So hot, that he feels his dick pulsating inside Noel, begging for friction.   
  
Laying flank against his lover he starts slowly rolling his hips into the vibrating body. He kisses and sucks at his shoulder, while the pleasure is taking over him. Hot moans and soft grunts are muffled by their burning skins.  
  
With their foreheads connected to each other, Cam pushes in deeper, jabbing his prostate. Noel's body responds immediately, arching and wriggling underneath him, his legs wrapping tighter around Cam's waist. Cam snakes his hands up around the back of Noel's neck, holding the cradle of his head as he nuzzles his nose up to rub at Noel's. "Say my name!" he demands in a whisper, knowing that if Noel does so, he won't be able to keep the slow pace.  
  
Noel's lustblown pupils roll into the back of his eyes, moan after moan escaping his parted lips. “Oh _Cam_ , fuck,“ Noel breathes out, “oh fuck me, _Cam_!“  
  
That is all he needs, to set fireworks off in his gut. He lifts himself up from the muscular body beneath him and kneels between Noel's legs, carefully not to let his cock slip out of the welcoming heat. He guides Noel's legs onto his shoulders and his hips further up to his lap, before he starts pounding hard and fast into his lover.  
  
“Holy-“ is all Noel manages to say, before he gives in and lets Cameron take control of his whole body. Cam feels like he's on ecstasy, riding on the wonderful high that is Noel's body.  
  
He slams his dick deep into the hole, where it fits just perfectly. It's like Noel's ass is made for Cameron's cock. Both just able to groan loudly with each thrust. Noel seems gone, everytime Cam's dick hits his sweet spot. “Cam. God, Cam!“  
  
God this man is just perfection. There's nothing else other than Noel's noises and expressions, that can send Cameron right to and over the edge. But no. Not now. He bites his lips hard, to keep himself from losing it right now. Unable to stay away from Noel, he leans down, letting Noel's legs slip from his shoulders and connects their lips once again, Noel gasping into his mouth at his latest plunge. He nips at his partner's bottom lip pulling it out a little so that he can slip his tongue deep into his mouth.  
  
"I'm close." Noel mumbles into Cam's mouth. They are holding each other so tight, that Cam's stomach is rubbing against Noel's cock and this is all the friction the smaller one needs.  
  
"Cum for me!" Cameron demands, kissing his way over Noel's jaw to his neck, while his cock thrusts hard in and out, hitting Noel's sweet spot over and over again. When the brunet man is shaking and spasming beneath him, Cameron knows that he is gone.   
  
“Oh fuuuuuck.“ Noel yells, the release shooting out of his dick and onto his and Cameron's stomach, binding them together, while Cam keeps drilling into him.  
  
The contraction of Noel's hole brings him closer and closer to the edge. It's funny, that somehow he wants so desperately to release, and somehow he just doesn't want it ever to end. He peels himself off Noel, to get a look on his spent boyfriend, while he still keeps rocking into him, carefully avoiding his prostate.  
  
The eyes off his fiancé are rolled back into his head, his adam apple bobbing up and down, while he tries to catch his breath. His hands are curled into fists, gripping the sheets and his back is arching in pleasure, while the head of his cock is still white ribbons dropping to the pool of cum.  
  
_Fuck_ , it's so breathtakingly beautiful and he knows Noel won't survive a few more thrusts. So he pulls out, kneeling between Noel's parted legs and starts to jerk himself off, while his eyes trade up and down at his lover's body.  
  
“Cum all over me, baby. Can you do this? Huh?“ Noel asks in a cocky tone, that nearly sends him over the edge right there.  
  
“Oh _fuck_!“ he gasps, not able to decide wheter to look into beautiful blue eyes or at Noel's spent cock, knowing he did this to him.  
  
“Cam? Can you do this for me? Cover me with your jizz?“ Noel wants to know, when Cam starts pumping harder. He's so fucking close, his balls are already contracting.  
  
“Ye- oh shit Noel. Yeah!“ he groans, the prickling from his gut already expanding to all of his body parts. God, this man! How can anyone that exhausted, with cum all over his stomach still look that hot?! It's fucking insane!  
  
“Do it Cam, cum all over me! _Now_!“ Noel demands and Cameron starts seeing stars. He pumps himself harder for two or three more times, before the pleasure forces him to squeeze his eyes shut and shoots his load over his fiancé's body.  
  
Though his eyelids are closed, he can still see his handsome man, lying infront of him, taking what Cam has to give, behind his eyes. Noel is everything he sees. “God, I've missed you so fucking much. _Aah_.“  
  
His legs are trembling, his arms shaking, while he strokes himself to full emptiness. He pants through the phenomenal orgasm, his chest heaving from sheer excitement.  
  
When the prickling and flutter slowly ebbs away, he opens his eyes again, to find Noel smiling at him. “What?“ he asks with a smirk on his lips.  
  
Noel shakes his head, as if he can't believe what he is going to say. “I fucking love you!“ he admits. Cameron can feel a pleasant warmth spreading through his entire body. His smile grows bigger and he cocks his head, one eyebrow lifting in anticipation.“No Cam, don-“ Noel warns, but is cut off by a foward falling redhead, that lands on top of his lover, their cum sticky between them. “Great, now we both have to take a shower.“ Noel says, before Cameron's lips land on his. Their tongues once again melt with each other, sharp breathes are exchanged into hot mouths. Cam detaches himself, smiling once again at the older man. “You didn't really think about taking a shower alone, did you?!“   
  
Noel chuckles “Horny motherfucker!“ and earns a punch in the shoulder for that.  
  
“You promised me that I could eat you out.“ Cam pouts, not even considering to do anything other than fucking today.  
  
“Jesus, give me a minute! We have the whole day to celebrate.“ Noel smiles at him, crossing his fingers behind Cameron's neck to pull him down for a quick peck on the lips. “Speaking about celebrating... our wedding is in a few days. Can you believe that? Holy shit!“   
  
When Noel switches the topic, everything in Cameron's body seems to vibrate. God, he's so excited about it, everytime he thinks or speaks about it, his palms get wet and he hears the blood rushing in his ears. He rolls off his lover and to his side on his back, staring at the ceiling. “No, I can't believe it. I can barely handle my nervousness.“ he tells him. “Have you talked to the caterer because of the change of dishes for the third round? You know, we want sage fillet of veal with truffle risotto instead of the pasta with lobster on saffron sauce.“ Cam reminds him.  
  
“Yeah, _we_ want that, so how could I forget?!“ Noel chaffs him about his wish for pefection on that special day.  
  
Cameron rolls his eyes, wanting to smack his ass for the comment. “Come on, it's important. It has to be perfect!“   
  
Noel looks to his side, sliding his thumb across Cam's cheek and forcing him to meet his eyes. “As long as you're standing infront of the altar, everything is going to be perfect.“   
  
Ouch, his heart aches at that sweet comment. He feels himself blushing and suddenly can't stand the distance between them. He closes it and presses his lips onto Noel's again. How could he lose sight of the only important thing that makes up this day? It's Noel. He's going to marry Noel fucking Fisher. Whether it's raining, hailing, snowing, or the sun is shining. No matter if the food tastes good or not or the music is unaccaptable for everyone. At the end of the day he is married to Noel and that's all that matters.  
  
Noel stops their kiss and lets his forehead stay connected to Cam's. “I've arranged the change and told Emma, that when she comes tomorrow morning, we are all going to the rehearsal dinner later.“  
  
A pleasant warmth spreads through Cameron's body at the thought of seeing Emma again. They've always been friends behind the scenes, but somehow lost track of each other after Jeremy and her broke up and she left the show. He's really looking forward to her arrival and already made plans for their afternoon tomorrow together. But unfortunately not for the evening.  
  
“I can't come with you, you know why.“ he tells his fiancé, who is now the one to roll his eyes and sit up to lean on the headboard.  
  
“Oh yeah. Forgot your movie date with Peyton.“ he answers bugged.  
  
“It's _not_ a movie date. Okay?It's a movie, but not a _date_!“ he conters, worried about his fiancé's jealousy. “It's for promotion. We have to show that we're friends behind the camera, it's better for the quotes! Please don't be like that, I have to go to even more events with her in the upcoming months and i wouldn't want to feel bad, everytime I do. You know I would rather join you and Emma.“  
  
Noel exhales loudly. “They want you to pretend that you're friends or _more_?“  
  
Jesus, Noel and his jealousy about other girls. It's ridiculous. He props himself up on his elbows, giving his lover a look full of disbelief. “You don't really think that someone has doubts about my love for you after the interview I gave?!“  
  
Noel just faces the wall infront of him not looking at Cameron, probably out of embarassment. “Press is a bitch, you know?!“ he tells him.  
  
“You know, who's a bitch too?“ Cam asks, his voice full of jeer. Noel looks at him again, with his brows furrowed in confusion. “The guy infront of me, who'll now gets his ass eaten out!“   
  
With that he turns Noel on his stomach with one swift swoop, not caring that it's still sticky from their cum. They'll need to change the sheets anyways, after all Cameron has planned to do with Noel today.  
  
He can hear his boyfriend chuckle at the surprised move, before he licks flatly over the still loosened hole and makes him gasp and scream for the next fifteen minutes.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
(NOEL'S POV)  
  
Fuck he has missed her! The phone calls can't compare to her being here. She's so funny and smart and beautiful and Noel sees once again, why he picked her to be his second best men.  
  
“You did _not?!“_ she asks in high laughter, wiping the corner of her mouth with the napkin.   
  
“Of course I did! I told him to fuck off, and never get close to something that's mine again.“ he explains proudly about his thread to his (former) castmate from TLRH, who tried to hit on Cameron when he visited him on set.  
  
She holds onto her stomach due to the hard laughter that fills the room of the 'Melissé' restaurant. They are now at the rehearsal dinner, after spending an exhausting day with Mr. travel guide in person. Emma lifts her index finger to shake it in an exhorting gesture. “Noel, Noel, _Noel_. There's still a little Southside thug in you, isn't there?“ she smirks. “What did Cam say about pulling Mickey Milkovich?“  
  
Noel huffs a laugh. “He doesn't know. He was in the men’s room when I threatend the fucker. He just wondered, why 'the nice guy suddenly left'.“ Noel smiles when she shakes her head in amusement. “Was his luck that we didn't have anymore scenes together. The moment I stepped inside the set, he was no where to be found. Thanks to Mickey Milkovich!“  
  
“Cheers!“ she raises her champagne and takes a sip out of it.  
  
It's so good to have her back. Talking to Emma was easy for him. They usually had a lot of fun and both would claim that they were more siblings off than on screen. They've done a lot of things together on their free days. Sometimes they traveled and did some sight seeing, sometimes they just sat in their hotel room together and watched some movies. And sometimes a certain redhead joined them. The good old times.   
  
After she left the show, they stayed in contact and visited each other now and then at home. Cam's contact with her slowly broke when Jeremy's and her relationship ended. Cam played more the headshrinker for Jeremy, while Noel helped Emma through it. They have grown closer even more with this and though he had never admitted it infront of Cam, Noel had told her about them being a couple, long before they told their other castmembers.  
  
But then she moved out of town and started shooting for ‚The Path‘ and they couldn't see each other very often. Nevertheless their friendship remained, and the whole day is proof enough that there's a reason why she's one of the two best men, he can ever get.  
  
“Is it weird for you? Seeing me with him?“ he wants to know, although he's a little embarassed asking this kind of question.  
  
She huffs a laugh, before staring him right in the eye, where blue meets blue. “When you first told me, it was a little bit weird. But seeing you with him isn't. It looks familiar, as if it has never been different.“  
  
There's a weight falling from his chest, and he can already sense some tears in his eyes. Damn, was he ever that close to tears when he was straight? He can't remember. He nods slightly and lowers his head.  
  
“There were always some boyfriend vibes between you, you know?!“ she talks further, forcing him to look up again.   
  
“Bullshit.“ he chuckles, not believing a word she’s saying. There weren't _boyfriend_ vibes between them. He would have recognized that.   
  
“No, no, believe me. There were _definitely_ those vibes. The tension in the room when we did a scene was almost unbearable. I always put the blame on your 'brilliant acting skills', but now I'm glad it wasn't like that and you're both just middle class actors like the rest of us.“   
  
Noel stares at her, his mouth gaping open, before she starts laughing. “Just kiddin'. You're still both awesome actors. But you always created your own chemistry together, which was invulnerable for the rest of us. I just understand better now.“  
  
Noel nods. It's definitely true, that they got along pretty well on the set. Okay, that may be an understatement, they had a great chemistry together. You could feel the crackling between them. And in love scenes, the passion that brimmed over Noel was often hard to bear. Sometimes one of them had to ask for a break to recover from the roller coaster of emotions. Mostly it was Noel, for whom the prickling and fluttering was like a whole new experience, after years of being in a relationship with Layla.  
  
“Oh, and one time, when Layla came for a visit, there were jealousy vibes too. Looking back, it's so fucking clear. Back then I just thought Cam was looking up to you as an actor. But now I understand that there was definitely more behind his words and questions.“ Emma tells him with a triumphant smile on her face, like she finally solved a mystery.  
  
“Yeah? And what's that Sherlock?“ he questions with a raised eyebrow, curious about the young and jealous Cameron that his mind hadn't allowed him to see.   
  
She shrugs. “He just asked a _ton_ of fucking questions about you two. Like where you met, how you fell in love, if it was love at first sight, blablabla. I answered everything I knew at the time, took it as a million dollar quiz. But then his mood suddenly switched to a more serious one and he asked me one more question, almost silently.“ she pauses, searching his eyes once again. He can feel his adam apple bobbing up and down, as he swallows hard. When their gazes lock, she continues “He wanted to know, if you were happy with her. I thought that was a weird kind of question, because obviously you seemed happy with her. So I just chuckled and told him, that of course you were. He then excused himself to the bathroom, but never came back to the set. When I asked him later where he’d gone, he just said he got a bad migrane and went to his trailer.“  
  
Noel is gobsmacked. It may be nothing, but for him it feels like someone just punched him in the stomach, while at the same time butterflies are flying around. It's incredibly cute, that even the younger version of his boyfriend seems to have swooned over him. But at the same time he hates that this answer might have hurt him. “So you think he, uhm, he -“  
  
As the words seem to end in his throat and don't make their way outside, she helps him finish the sentence. “loved you then already?“  
  
He takes a sip from his champagne infront of him, before he nods shyly.  
  
“Maybe. I don't know. You've heard his interview, right?! I think it's like he tried to explain. That he felt something, but couldn't assign it right.“ her answer makes him smile. Thinking of the interview, he still feels a huge wave of love overcome him. Those are the sweetest words someone had ever said about him and he savoured every single one of them. He rewatched the video like a hundred times and can probably render it word by word.  
  
“ _But_ if I would have known, I would for sure have paired you off with him!“ she winks at him.  
  
“Thank god you did not. Heaven forbid what could have happened! Phew..!“ he teases her, darting his tongue out.  
  
She reaches across the table to punch him in the shoulder. “Asshole. I would've done _great_!“ she pouts, crossing her arms infront of her chest.  
  
Noel chuckles. “Of course you would have. But our lovestory is just perfect the way it is. I wouldn't change a thing. I'm glad I'm finally here, where I’ve always wanted to be, even when there were some ups and downs on my way. But it was all worth it. I'm with _him_. I'm his fiancé. And this makes me fucking happy!“   
  
Now he can see some tears brimming over her eyes, as she reaches down to the napkin on the table to pat the corner of them dry. “Fucker.“ she gasps out, swallowing hard. “Now that you're _that_ gay, we can go shopping together, right? Buy some new underwear.“  
  
Noel laughs at that. “Yeah _no_. Forget that. I'm not going to a lingerie store with you to get you some panties.“  
  
She looks at him befuddled. “Not for me, dumbass. For you! Or what do you think you're going to wear on your wedding night?“  
  
Oh no! No, no, _no_!! He suddenly couldn't remember why he picked her for being his second best man. The term just stands for itself - there is a reason, why it's called 'best _man_ '.  
  
Damn Noel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EMMA IS HERE - YAYYY!!! :)
> 
> So, this was Cameron's and Peyton's movie 'date' at the Hollywood Forever Cemetary.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Guess what the next chapter is about...?! Hm?! :)
> 
> THANK YOU for leaving kudos and/or comments <3


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WEDDING-TIME part 1
> 
> Take some tissues and enjoy the chapter!
> 
> When the song from Peter Gabriel is mentioned, just click on the link and listen to it on Youtube. It's with lyrics and in my opinion the text is perfect for an event like this! I hope you'll feel the same as Cam, Noel and I do in this chapter ;)
> 
> Enjoy :-*

(CAMERON'S POV)  
  
His breath is frantic. He can tell that his pulse is way beyond 200. His chest feels as if it's about to explode within the next ten seconds. Everything inside of him tingles, from his toes to his hair tips.  
  
He keeps pacing up and down the room, doesn't know what else to do with his shaky legs. Sometimes he chews at his fingernails (although Jeremy is doing his best to rip them out of his mouth whenever he notices it); sometimes he rubs the palms of his hands together, creating even more sweat beneath them than his body has already produced; sometimes he swings his arms back and forth together with his moving body. The fact however is, that he is never still. Not a second. Not even one second. He doesn't know if he has ever been so nervous in his entire life before.  
  
Not when he started his career as a child model at the age of three. Not when he got his first role in 'Malcolm in the middle' when seven. Not on his first day of school. Not when he fell in love for the first time with Lara Hamilton. Not when he got his first film kiss in 'The three investigators' or his first real kiss from Amanda Peterson. Not when he had his first girlfriend, or brought her back home with him. Not when he jerked off for the first time, or had sex with a girl. Not when his roles got bigger and bigger. Not when he got the role as 'Ian Gallagher' on Shameless and had his first nude scene there. Not when he met Noel for the first time. Not when he had his first gay kiss on screen. Not when he recognized the prickling in his gut and the flutter in his chest whenever Noel was around. Not when he realized that he was crazy in love with the guy. Not when he had kissed him without all the cameras around them. And definitely, not when he pushed inside of him for the first time or proposed to him. _No_.  
  
Cameron Riley Monaghan has never been as nervous as he is right now, on his wedding day.  
  
“Nervous?“ Tom asks handing him the eighth cigarette, since they went to the dressing room of his and Noel's beach house. Jeremy, Tom, Emma, Jake and Cam got here on thursday evening, so that they had enough time on friday to start with the preparations early in the morning. There was a lot to do, but with all of them working together, they managed it to be right in time with the decoration and preparations.   
  
Noel couldn't help, because he only came back on friday afternoon from one of his big radio interviews about 'TLRH'. And because they‘d agreed that they won't see each other on the night before their wedding, he stayed at home in their apartment in LA with his parents and sister. But that means that they haven't seen each other for two days. Two fucking days without his _boyfriend_ (he needs to call him that one more time). And the fact, that he hasn’t seen him for more than 48 hours doesn‘t help Cameron calm down.  
  
He shoots Tom a 'you‘re really asking me this right now?'- look, but accepts the offered cigarette greedily. He‘s just glad that he had choosen his best cologne for this day, which is probably drowning out the smell of cigarettes and whiskey.   
  
Yes, he really drank whiskey in the morning. Otherwise he wouldn’t have been able to brush his teeth with his trembling hands. And _that_ would've probably been the worse smell for this special day.  
  
He inhales the smoke deeply, before passing the cigarette back to Tom. Enough is enough. He checks himself in the mirror infront of him one more time, deciding that his face is too pale for his black slim fitting tux. _Fuck_ , he looks like a zombie. He cups his cheeks with his hands, slapping them fast to create a bit of redness on his skin.  
  
“ _Relax_ , man. You look good. Everything's fine. Everything is _going_ to be fine.“ Jeremy tries to calm him from behind, guiding his shaky hands away from his face. He takes them into his own and turns Cameron around to face him. “Holy shit, they are completely wet, Cam.“ Jeremy stares down at their hands with his big blue eyes.  
  
“I know asshole, thanks for reminding me that!“ he snaps back, tearing them out of his hold and rubbing them dry with the towel placed on a table.   
  
“Easy tiger! Why are you so nervous? Are you getting cold feet?“ Jeremy asks, and Cameron can see Tom approaching quickly and blocking his way to the door even though he doesn't even want to leave.  
  
He breathes heavily, looking everywhere but at Jeremy or Tom. “Because...“ he starts, but the sentence refuses to come out of his throat.  
  
Jeremy's ice blue eyes are searching his own and with his eyebrows up high, he is looking for an explanation in Cam’s face. Finally the younger man locks his gaze and answers. “Because I haven't seen Noel for two days and I've no clue if he's already here, in the next room getting dressed, or if he has changed his mind.“   
  
Tom is beside him in a second to lay soothing his hands on his shoulders. “He's here. I've seen him. Looks as nervous as you. But he's here.“  
  
The fact alone, that his lover is only a few meters away from him has a calming effect on his whole body. His heart is still pounding like crazy in his chest, but in a good way. _He’s here_. In a fucking good way.  
  
A quick smile spreads over Cameron's lips, before he looks down on the sweaty palm of his hands. “Good. That's good.“ he says quietly. “Although the poor man has to hold them the whole day.“  
  
Jeremy chuckles. “ _Cam_ , he won't give a shit. His will probably be sweaty as well. And I bet he is going to hold them willingly for the rest of your lives. He _loves_ you. And you love him. That's why all of us are here today. And that's why _he_ is here today. Okay?“  
  
God, Jeremy's words are like balm for his soul. He definitely made the right choice in picking Tom and him for his best men. “Okay.“ he answers, starting to breathe steadily again. He turns back around to the mirror and looks at himself self-confident. _He’s here_.  
  
Finally, after his body hasn't stop trembling and moving since 5:46am in the fucking morning, he stands there completely still. For some moments he enjoys the silence of the room and just looks at what he's going to give Noel today. It's nothing less than himself, _all of him_. His heart, his body, his soul. His whole being.  
  
He's so lost in the man staring back at him, until a knock startles him out of his thoughts. “Cam? He's waiting for you!“ he hears Emma speaking through it.  
  
Cameron nods, straightening his back and his shoulders, taking one last look on his black pants, his white button down shirt, his blue tie, his black shoes, his silver blue cufflinks and his blue corsage. He's ready.  
  
Jeremy and Tom are beside him, patting his shoulders on each side. “Come on, man. Let's do this!“ Tom says and Cameron nods again.  
  
Okay, let's fucking do this!  
  
They turn around and head towards the door. Jeremy is the gentleman who opens the door for them to walk through, while giving Cameron another encouraging nod.  
  
The house is empty and quiet as they walk up to the glass front of the living room, from where you step onto the terrace and beach. The only noises are coming from the outside. The closer the three of them get there, the more Cameron can already see. He comes to a step infront of the glass, while Jeremy and Tom keep walking. Jeremy turns around irritated. “You coming?“  
  
Cam takes a deep breath and nods. “One minute.“ His two best men gave him one last look up and down before stepping outside and heading to their seats. Cameron needs a moment to appreciate the view infront of him.  
  
Their guests are all seated on chairs that are coated with white slip covers. 15 on the right and 15 on the left side. There are iron posts holding lanterns placed beside the guest’s chairs, along with metal buckets filled with simple white and blue flowers. On the way to the front, between the seats on the right and left side, is a white carpet, light blue flowers are spread there, candles on each side. At the front and in the center is a simple wooden arch, where blue flowers are wrapped around it from the ground to the top. Underneath is a long table covered with a white tablecloth. The flowers and candles on it are like the flowers on the wooden arch, kept in blue. Everything is set up infront of the sea, only a few feet away from where Noel and him will be standing in a few seconds.  
  
He can see all of their friends and families, Noel's parents next to his mum. And _oh god_ , is his mum holding Noel mum‘s hand?!   
  
It's six pm and the sun is slowly going down, painting the sky in beautiful red, pink and orange. The water from the sea is glittering, boats rocking back and forth on the stable rhythm of the waves. It's beautiful, sheer breathtaking.   
  
But it's nothing, absolutely _nothing_ compared to the man that is waiting under the arche for him. He is wearing a light blue suit that lets his sharp blue eyes shine even more, and a white button up shirt with a black tie and brown shoes. His ginger blonde hair is combed to his right, framing the porcelain skin of his gorgeous face perfectly.  
  
He is talking to Jake, while he keeps rubbing the palm of his hands. He's nervous too. The marriage registrar is waiting for them behind the long table to get started, and Cameron knows the time has come.  
  
His heart is pounding, as if it wants to break free of his chest that is tightening around it. He is losing it completely at the sight of this handsome man, waiting infront of the altar for _him_. He takes a few deep breaths, while everything around Noel begins to blur and his eyes are only fixated on _him_.  
  
He nods to himself, as he takes the first step outside the house and Noel turns around immediately. Their gazes lock, and Cameron is unable to look anywhere but him, as he makes his way to the wooden arch. He sees Noel licking his pink lips and knows that he has made the best decision of his life.  
  
  
  
  
  
(NOEL'S POV)  
  
“Look who's coming.“ Jake says, nodding his head in the direction of the entrance.   
  
Noel turns around and his heart which is already beating too fast, suddenly skips several pulses. It's as if the whole world is holding it's breath for a brief moment to admire the beauty of the man who dares his way to the front. The pale orange and yellow sky starting to take over the blue as the sea behind him ripples quietly, and he licks his lips unable to believe the sight infront of him.  
  
The trembling blonde man can only see red. _Red_. This damn color that catches up with him in each of his dreams since he fell in love with Cameron. The red hair is illuminated softly by the sun’s setting orange light, a fact that squeezes Noel's stilled heart.  
  
After a few moments where his mouth is wide open out of pure admiration, he notices the black suit on the redhead's body, which accentuates every single one of Cam's muscles. He can see how they bend and stretch with every step on Cameron's upper body, as if they‘re almost blowing up his tight white button down shirt. He looks incredible. Noel had been so worried about looking good for his fiancé that he’d completely forgotten to let himself look forward to seeing him in a suit too.  
  
Jesus, how could God create such a perfect creature?  
  
He loves everything about that young man, who is now only a few steps away from him. His ivory skin, his emerald green puppy eyes, his flaming red hair, his bright smile, his washed out freckles. His laugh and the way his nostrils tremble slightly when he is nervous. Like right now.  
  
Noel’s heart squeezes at the sight of him, as Cameron gets closer and closer, their eyes lock without blinking. Just as his lover finally comes to a stop beside him, Noel is able to breathe again. With None of them looking down, they interlace their fingers and a blissful smile flickers over their faces. Thank God, his palms are as sweaty as his.  
  
This is it. Now or never. And Noel definitely chooses _now_. He would never decide otherwise, not when his choice is Cameron _fucking_ Monaghan. The man who turned his whole world upside down - in an incredibly great way!  
  
"Dear family and friends, we are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the union of Cameron Riley Monaghan and Noel Roem Fisher in marriage. Through their time together, they have come to realize that their personal dreams, hopes, and goals are more attainable and more meaningful through the combined effort and mutual support provided in love, commitment, and family; and so they have decided to live together as husband and husband.” the marriage registrar starts, while Noel glances over at Cam to find the redhead already staring back at him. His eyes become glassy at the sight, while the man infront of them continues with his speech. Great, he didn't even last 30 seconds without tearing up. He quickly lets his head drop down.  
  
“Through your commitment to each other, may you grow and nurture a love that makes both of you better people, a love that continues to give you great joy, and also a passion for living that provides you with energy and patience to face the responsibilities of life. The story of your life together is still yours to write."  
  
He can feel Cameron squeezing his hand and when he looks up again, he's glad that there are some tears in Cam's eyes as well.  
  
The priest continues with his speech: "Love should have no other desire but to fulfill itself. But if your love and needs must have desires, let these be your desires: To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To know the pain of too much tenderness. To be wounded by your own understanding of love; And to bleed willingly and joyfully. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving; To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy; To return home at eventide with gratitude; Then to sleep with a vision of the beloved in your heart and a song of love on your lips." Noel feels tears roll over his cheeks onto the sand, happy that there are also some sighs and sobs beside and behind him.  
  
Noel is completely overwhelmed by the words. They were nothing but beautiful and Noel will take them more than just seriously. He will do everything in his power to make Cameron happy day after day, for the rest of his life. He doesn't want to do anything else, but make his lover laugh and keep him satisfied.  
  
The wedding registrar turns his attention back on them. “Do you have any vows you'd like to read?"   
  
The _vows_. Oh shit. Both agreed to write one, because yeah, Noel could write a ton of great things about his lover. When he thinks about him, he doesn't just _think_ about him. His mind is fucking intoxicated by red hair, green eyes and a thousands of freckles. But to write down your thoughts, and to say them out loud or commit to them infront of everyone you love, are two _completely_ different things.  
  
But there's no turning back now. He nods his agreement, while his whole body trembles out of nervousness. He's panicking all over, while he unfolds the crumpled paper that he pulls out of his pockets.  
  
He takes one quick look at it, just as an encouragement because actually he knows it off pat, before he stares Cameron directly in the eyes.  
  
“Cameron, from the moment our paths crossed, you’ve surprised me, distracted me, captivated me and challanged me in a way that no human being ever has. It wasn't easy for me, to accept this,“ he gestures with his free hand between them, “to accept _us_. But regardless of whether I wanted it or not, I’ve fallen in love with you again and again, countless times, without reservation. And I still can’t believe, that today I get to marry my best friend and my dream.“  
  
He pauses for a moment, trying to keep it together. But it's hard, _so_ hard when the love of your life starts tearing up infront of you. Though he's not finished yet, he inhales sharply, squeezing Cameron's hand and continues. “I feel like everything finally makes sense and everything in my life has led me to you. My choices, my heartbreaks, my regrets. _Everything_. And when we’re together, my past seems worth it. I would do everything absolutely the same, because it brought me to you and to this situation.“ he emphasizes the meaning of his words with a nod towards the crowd, before he looks back in glassy green eyes, that are brimming over with tears. Noel feels Cameron's whole body shaking, struggeling so hard to not let the sobs escape his mouth. While the redhead bites hard on his lip, Noel continues with his vow.  
  
“I promise to be true to you, to uplift and support you, to frustrate and challange you and to share with you the beautiful moments of life. Someday, if the stars align, I might even let you win an argument.“   
  
Cameron chuckles, which in return makes himself smile so that it's easier for him to go on. “No matter what trials we encounter together or how much time has passed, I know that our love will never fade. That we will always find strength in one another and that we will continue to grow side by side.“ Noel pauses one last time, stepping up to his partner and cupping his cheeks with his hands. “I believe in the truth of what we are and I will love you always, with every beat of my heart.“  
  
Cameron completely loses his strength to stay strong. He lets his head drop down, tears streaming over his face, while sighs and sobs fill the air. But he isn't alone with his feelings. Seems like Noel brought the whole fucking company to cry - himself included. Noel is still holding his face, and he guides it back up, pressing a kiss on Cameron's cheek and leaning in, to whisper softly in his ear “God, I love you so fucking much, firecrotch!“  
  
Clearly - more cries! But this wasn't his intention, making everyone cry. It's just the truth, he wanted Cameron to know.  
  
“Thank you, Noel. Cameron?“ the priest asks, turning his attention to the man who is trying his best to pick up his courage.   
  
After a few deep breaths, Cameron clears his throat, looking with red rimmed eyes into Noel's. He takes Noel's hands into his own, before he speaks up.  
  
“Noel, when I met you, I had no idea how much my life was about to be changed, but then, how could I have known? A love like ours happens once in a lifetime.“ Great, two sentences and Noel feels his eyes getting wet again.   
  
“You were a godsend to me, the one who was everything I had ever hoped for. The one I thought existed only in my imagination. When you came into my life, I realized that what I had always thought was happiness couldn’t compare to the joy loving you brought me. You are a part of everything I think and do and feel, and with you by my side, I believe that anything is possible.“ Cameron's voice cracks and with it every last energy of Noel, that he tried his best to keep it together. Gone. He doesn't even try to stop the tears from running fast down his cheeks. It's useless. Instead he hangs on every single word Cameron is saying, when he finds his voice again.  
  
“Because of you, I laugh, I smile and I dare to dream more than I ever have. Thank you for the miracle of you. You are, and always will be, the love of my life, my soulmate, my person.“ Cameron swallows hard to fight the lump in his throat, and so does Noel.   
  
“I didn’t just _fall_ in love with you. I walked into love with you, with my eyes wide open, choosing to take every step along the way. I do believe in fate and destiny, but I also believe we are only fated to do the things that we’d choose anyway. And I’d choose you, in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d choose _you_!“ A smile enlightens Cameron's beautiful freckled face, which illuminates Noel's whole world. Which is, when he comes to think of it, the goofy redhead infront of him.  
  
“So today I give myself to you in marriage. I will love you, without reservation, cherish you and hold you in the highest regard. I will support you and comfort you, through life’s joys and sorrows. I will encourage you, inspire you, and be honest and faithful to you. I will stand by your side, in sickness and in health, in an apocalyptic scenario or during a zombie invasion.“ Noel huffs out a laugh, earning a cheesy smirk from Cameron in return. Doofus.  
  
“And _oh_ , I vow to still grab your ass, even when you’re old and wrinkly. These things I give to you today, and all the days of our life.“ _That’s his man_. Noel is cheesing mad hard, while shaking his head in consideration of Cam's words. Did the idiot really say 'ass' during his vows infront of the altar, the marriage registrar and all their family and friends?!  
  
Of course he did! And Noel can't help it, but lean forward to peck him on the lips. He knows he shouldn't, because the kissing part ususally comes a little later, but it's Cameron that is standing infront of him. Once again using the sweetest words Noel would have never thought of ever getting to hear from someone. He hears their family and friends cheering them on, before Noel rips himself off the lips, to not get carried away.  
  
The priest chuckles, having accepted that Cameron and Noel are doing their wedding their own way. “Thank you for sharing your vows with us.“ he says, while the applause from the crowd slowly ebbs away.  
  
Noel locks eyes with his lover, a smile dancing on both of their lips. Both happy that they are in control of their emotions again. But this day isn't meant for them to keep their shit together, _no_!  
  
So when the singer behind the arch starts playing with her guitar and starts singing ['The book of love' from Peter Gabriel](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmnDXRJ7btE), Noel once again loses all his willpower to stay strong and just lets his feelings take over him. Just as the redhead does the same on his right, while he holds his hand firmly. Fuck it. At least this is what weddings are about. To cry your heart out of pure happiness.  
  
At the strophe _"And I.. love it when you give me things. And you.. You ought to give me wedding rings"_ , you can barely hear the voice of the singer. There are just the blowing of some noses, sobs and sighs. Mostly coming from the two men at the sharp end, that couldn't keep their glassy eyes off another.  
  
"That was the keyword," the registrar starts, after the last notes of the beautiful song are silenced, "the wedding rings, please." He opens his hands infront of them and waits for someone to lay them inside.  
  
Tom rises from his seat and steps forward. In his hand he holds a small wooden box decorated with blue flowers. When he reaches the altar, he passes the box to the marriage registrar and gives Noel and Cam a pat on the back before he returns to his seat.  
  
When the box is opened, Noel's and Cameron's rings, which they have already worn for several months now, appear. But for Noel, they have a completely different meaning now. The promise to stay together and not go away is even stronger this time. Tom took the rings two weeks ago with him, to add besides the already existing engravings, the date and the first letter to each other. Both wondering if there was still enough space for that. So Noel's ring now says 'C. 27.05.17 - You're under my skin, man', while in Camerons'r ring there's 'N. 27.05.17 - I can't get him out of my head' to be found.   
  
 “Your wedding ring is a symbol of your promise to one another. The ring, an unbroken, never ending circle, is a symbol of committed and unending love!” the priest starts and passes Noel Cameron's ring. He turns to Noel and speaks to him directly, “Noel, please repeat after me," Noel takes a deep breath, looking Cameron deep in the eyes, while he takes his hand into his own again. It’s like there’s buzzing in his ears, the moment is so charged for him, and the only thing in his sights is the redhead infront of him, his beautiful green eyes gazing thoughtfully back at him.  
  
Then Noel starts repeating his words: "I, Noel, take you, Cameron, to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, _and all that shit_." Noel can't help but add the Mickey line, punching a laugh out of his lover and the crowd behind his back. He doesn't see the shocked expression on the registrars face and continues: "I will love you and honor you all the days of my life. Cam, take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."   
  
“Noel, as you place this ring on Cameron’s finger, think of the love and commitment you hold for each other. Noel, do you take Cameron Riley Monaghan to be your husband?”  
  
Noel nods slowly, gazing into wonderful green puppy eyes. Here he is. The love of his live, Cameron Monaghan, waiting for his answer with bated breath. He doesn't need to think twice, he knows exactly what he wants. Noel finds his voice surprisingly calm and steady as he answers, his eyebrows twitching just slightly at the promising words as they leave his mouth. “I do”. With trembling fingers, he puts the ring on Cameron’s ring finger while again another tear makes it's way over his face. Thank god, that Cameron seems to be the same emotional wreck as him, one sob followed by another escaping his throat. Red rimmed eyes staring back into his.  
  
Then Cameron opens his sweaty palm to the registrar to get Noel's ring and is asked to repeat the words. A smile flickers over the redhead's face, before he takes Noel's right hand and speaks up: "I, Cameron, take you, Noel, to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, _and all that shit_." Now Noel's the one to laugh at that, while the marriage registrar just rolls his eyes. "I will love you and honor you all the days of my life. Noel, take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."  
  
“Cameron, as you place this ring on Noel’s finger, think of the love and commitment you hold for each other. Cameron, do you take Noel Roem Fisher to be your husband?”  
  
While tears stream down Cameron's beautiful face, he nods without hesitation. "Of course I do." he says and adds a quiet "Nothing else I wanna be." only for Noel to hear. Noel's body quakes at the words, although a warm and pleasant feeling spreads everywhere. Cameron then slips the ring on Noel's finger and can't help but put a kiss on it, which lights up his whole face.  
  
"Cameron Riley Monaghan and Noel Roem Fisher, I now pronounce you husband and husband, together for the rest of your lives. You may kiss now”.   
  
Before the marriage registrar even finishes getting the word 'kiss' out of his mouth, Cameron locks his hands behind Noel's neck and pulls him into a long and passionate kiss. They hold each other close, Noel's hands caressing Cam's muscular back up and down, while their tongues seem to act on their own. Noel's body shivers everytime they touch. He's so captivated by the hungry lips from his _husband_ , that he can't even hear their family and friends cheer around them.  
  
With a heavy heart he detaches himself from the fulfilling kiss, and both turn with their interwined hands rised high to the raging crowd.  
  
“Mr. and Mr. Monaghan-Fisher everyone!"  
  
If someone had told Noel years ago, that his biggest dream is about 1.83 tall, has red hair, green eyes, and freckles all over his body, he probably wouldn't have believed it. Where dreams are usually ideas, in a certain way they always remain a part of the imagination.   
  
But not for Noel. He is able to see, hear, smell, taste, even feel and touch his dream. When he reaches out his hand, it's there. His greatest dream, that finally came true.  
  
Cameron _fucking_ Monaghan-Fisher!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY!!! Officially married now!! Woop woop!
> 
> Part 2 is coming next weekend!
> 
> I hope I could touch you with it?! I, for my part, was emotional as fuck when I wrote it - I'm really, really proud of them, they have come so far together <3
> 
> Thank you for leaving kudos and/or comments!


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys... This is it! This is the last chapter for this story. I need a break from writing, but that doesn't mean that it's the end of their story. NO! I love this universe far too much, to close it for forever. So I'm going to add one shots or another sequel, when I feel ready again. And because I've already written chapter 20 before I decided to stop, I'll post it as a one shot this week. And after it my first Gallavich one shot ;) So I'd be happy, if you'd keep reading, liking and commenting. Your support has been overwhelming and I'm beyond grateful for that! You brought out the best in me, which made the story to what it is now! Thank you so, so much! It was an emotional and crazy ride for me <3
> 
> And of course a HUUUUGE f*cking THANK YOU to LuckyShaz for being my beta and editing every single chapter! You're great, girl!
> 
> Enjoy part 2 of their wedding and click on the links for the music. Hope you'll get the feeling of being a guest on their wedding.
> 
> All my love <3

(CAMERON'S POV)

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

Is it real? Can it even be real? Will he soon wake up from the best dream of his life, or is he allowed to dream further? Because this is exactly what he's doing now. He is dreaming. Or to put it more specifically: He is living his own dream.

Cameron was never the type who thought a lot about marrying. He lived more like the motto: If it happens, it happens. There was no reason for him to fantasize about it.

But then when he would think about it, the _classic_ wedding visions came to his mind. He, waiting infront of an altar, while a lady in a white dress and her father are walking up to him. In those pictures, he could always see everything clearly: his mother sniffing and crying, his friends cheering him with abstruse gestures, the church, pompous in it's full splendor, his suit, which seems to be made for him. Yes, his ideas about his wedding were always almost perfect. Only a tiny but still striking detail was missing in his visions: the face of the woman.

He could never see her, never had an idea of how she should be. She was just there, just as is should be. But Cameron never met a girl or woman, he thought would fit into this white dress. No one was special enough to think about getting married to.

This was until he met Noel fucking Fisher and suddenly all the visions changed. But in a good way, no, in a fucking awesome way. The exact opposite happened then, and everything that previously was so clear and certain was suddenly blurred, while the blurred was finally visible. All of a sudden he didn't care who sniffed and cried, which friends were there to cheer for him, what church he was in or what his suit looked like. From here on, there was only one thing that mattered: That this man was standing next to him at the altar.

And he was there. In all his beauty and uniqueness he stood infront of the altar, waiting for him. Because, for whatever reason, he has agreed to love Cameron until the end of his days. There can't be anything more wonderful.

Cameron didn't believe that it would be possible to love the blue eyed man even more. But as always, the fucker has proven the opposite. When Noel held his hand to tell him all the wonderful things that he wrote in his vows, it was once again done around Cameron. Like a lightning, love hit him and made it impossible to behave like a strong man infront of his lover. He howled like a baby, glad that Noel seemed to tear up as well.

The red rimmed eyes however, didn't derogate Noel's appearance at all. For god's sake, this man looked simply perfect. If it had been possible for Cam to build the man of his dreams out of plasticine and bring it to life, his figure would have looked exactly like Noel. Well, with Cameron's artistic talent probably more like a Frankenstein version of Noel, but the template would have been perfect though.

The day had actually been a lot better than any dream he'd ever had about it. His imaginations and hopes were far surpassed and he felt happier than ever before. This, however, doesn't surprise him a lot, since Noel keeps blowing his expectations up constantly. It never gets boring with him, because every day Cameron notices new sides of his lover, which just knock the breath out of him. He's stunning, adorable, sweet, beautiful, talented, generous, hot, bossy and cuddly. He's seriously the best that has ever happened to Cameron.

Until now, it had been the best day of Cameron's life so far, and seeing that the wedding night is still to come, this day will probably remain hard to beat.

“What are you doing inside? The party is outside, man!" Jeremy steps inside the beachhouse next to Cameron, whose eyes are fixed on the proceedings on the beach.

"Taking a moment to review this wonderful day. I can't believe that it's real!" he answers, while his pupils never leave Noel in all his glory. His _husband_ , standing beside his best man Emma, Shanola, Steve and Hannah his sister, is laughing loudly while his whole body language expresses pure happiness, which is simply overwhelming for the redhead.

"Oh dude, you can do this from now on for your whole fucking life! Join us, so you'll have more to look back on." Jeremy states, one hand resting on Cam's shoulder.

After Jeremy's words sank in, they leave a grinning Cameron behind. "Right. My whole fucking life with this deity. Can you believe this, man?!"

Cameron can feel Jeremy's eyes on his side, while he's still staring at only one human being. "Uhm, actually _yeah._ You've done nothing else but prove to yourself and all the others that you belong together the whole of last year. Even if you sometimes needed a push of your private Sigmund Freud. But you've managed it, and are finally there, where you've always wanted to be, since you fell in love with each other. I'm really happy for you man. We all are."

Cameron cocks his head to finally lock Jeremy's gaze, while a smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. "Thanks man. For everything!"

His on-screen brother pulls him into a one-armed hug, whispering a low "You're welcome." before guiding him out of the living room and into the celebrating crowd on the beach.

 

 

 

(NOEL'S POV)

"The wedding was almost chokingly sweet." Emma says, nibbing on her glass of whine again, while her hips move to the music coming from the band in the background. Noel, Emma, Shanola, Steve and Hannah have formed a small group beside where the bar is constructed, while all the other guests swing their hips on some kind of 'dancefloor' on the beach.

"Says the woman who made everyone cry with the reception." Noel smirks, also taking a gulp of his beer and drumming the rhythm with his fingers on the bottleneck.

"Oh yeah," Hanna agrees with Emma, her glance dreamily directed to the sky full of stars "the way he looks at you, my dear brother. Always makes me think, I hope I find that some day."

Before Noel is able to reassure her, Steve starts laughing. "Oh god I swear, these two and their looks. Always made us mad with it. First of all we put the blame on their actorial skills and chemistry, which made us jealous all over, but we were glad when we found out that it was just love." He shrugs nonchalantly.

Everyone laughs at Steve's humor, while Shanola nudges her elbow in his ribcage. "Just love? JUST LOVE, Steve? Have you seen these guys? That is so much more than just love."

Hannah sighs at that once again, before Emma barges in. "Damn, Mandy Milkovich leaves the show and suddenly everything turns into a complete soap opera."

Noel giggles happily at that. "That's why you definitely should come back."

"Damn right!" Emma confirms, before she's cut off by a rhapsodic Hannah. "But isn't it wonderful, that there are still people who experience true love? In a world like that where everyone just celebrates a wedding because of the event, only to get divorced a few months or years later. I'm so happy for you, little brother. You've found someone special." She pulls him into a hug in the middle of an "Awww"-singing crowd. Noel looks over her shoulder directly to where his husband is standing, only to find his green eyes immediately catching his gaze. "I know. He's just too good to be true." he mumbles into her shoulders, before startling at his own words.

He detaches himself from her embrace, holding is index finger up in the air to indicate that he'll be back in a moment, and heads to the direction of the band. He feels Cameron's eyes follow him, but doesn't dare to look back. His partner would shoot him a questioningly glance and Noel would probably ruin the whole surprise. He waits until the last sound of the song dies away and addresses his question to the band. The short moment of musical silence lets all of their guests (including Cam) look in his direction, and Noel uses the attention to speak with the microphone to his audience.

"Dear family and friends, dear Cameron. I thought a lot about what song could describe you at best. But the whole "You're so sexy" "You're so hot" songs, were just too much of a superficial bullshit for a wedding, and so I decided to sing a song about my feelings for you. So listen carefully, Cam, you know it's a one-off!" He chuckles, feeling his cheeks reddening with the rising heat inside his body.

Cameron looks at him expectantly and eagerly as he moves slowly towards Noel. The latter clears his throat, before nodding to the band behind his back. The first few seconds of the melodious sound, and Noel knows that Cameron immediately recognizes this [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b54eyij7IfI). He takes one deep breath and starts to sing the first strophe with his lowest voice.

 _"You're just too good to be true_  
_I can't take my eyes off of you._  
_You'd be like heaven to touch_  
_I wanna hold you so much._  
_At long last love has arrived_  
_and I thank God I'm alive._  
_You're just too good to be true_  
_can't take my eyes off of you._  
_Pardon the way that I stare,_  
_there's nothing else to compare._  
_The sight of you leaves me weak_  
_there are no words left to speak._  
_But if you feel like I feel,_  
_please let me know that it's real._  
_You're just too good to be true,_  
_can't take my eyes off of you"_

Noel's eyes never leave the wet shining ones of his husband, while Cameron's face is giving him the most beautiful and honest smile Noel has ever seen. When the refrain of the song starts, everyone except Cameron joins in, taking some nervousness off of Noel.

 _"I love you baby and if it's quite all right,_  
_I need you baby to warm the lonely nights._  
_I love you baby trust in me when I say._  
_Oh pretty baby don't bring me down I pray._  
_Oh pretty baby now that I found you, stay._  
_And let me love you baby, let me love you."_

Cameron shakes his head grinning, observing him, when Noel trolls the next strophe.

 _"You're just too good to be true_  
_can't take my eyes off of you._  
_You'd be like heaven to touch_  
_I wanna hold you so much._  
_At long last love has arrived_  
_and I thank God I'm alive._  
_You're just too good to be true_  
_can't take my eyes off of you."_

And once again everyone starts singing the refrain with him, swaying to the music, arms linked to the people to the left and right. Only this time Cameron joins in, directing the song text right back to him.

 _"I love you baby and if it's quite all right,_  
_I need you baby to warm the lonely night._  
_I love you baby trust in me when I say_  
_Oh pretty baby don't bring me down I pray._  
_Oh pretty baby now that I found you, stay_  
_And let me love you baby, let me love you."_

Noel hasn't even finished singing, when Cameron is on him like a starved man. Luckily Noel manages to put the microphone back in the stand, before he lays his hands around Cameron's neck to deepen the kiss. Just when the jubilance gets louder and Noel wants to slip his tongue deeper into Cam, the latter pulls away, murmuring a breathless “I love you so much'“ before taking the microphone in his own hands.

“It's almost frightening how couples are aligned with one another over time. Just like you“ Cameron turns around to look into Noel's big blue eyes, “I've prepared a song for you.“ Cam raises his eyebrows in anticipation. “So would you please leave the stage now?!“ he jokes, darting his tongue out to his husband.

Noel rolls his eyes and steps infront of Cameron, just where the redhead was a few moments ago. Emma joins him there and smiles at both of them full of expectation.

Noel can see the nervousness creeping up Cameron's neck, his face now flushed in the same shades of red as his hair. He looks at his feet one more time, before his green eyes find Noel's.

“Some of you may not know this yet, but in this incredibly hot body there, lives an old soul.“ Cam starts and points at his flabbergasted husband, who quickly flips him off in return. Dork.

Chuckling, Cameron continues “No really. You can notice it in his taste of music. A dead legend's chasing the next.“ he teases further, Noel still laughing with him. He'll show him 'dead legend' tonight. “So it was pretty hard for me as a whippersnapper to pick up one of his favorite songs and perform it here today. But you know how it is, you can only learn from history. And I for my part came to the conclusion, what a wise man this Elvis was. This is for you, baby!“ Cameron blows him a kiss and before the prickling and tingling in Noel's stomach can take over his whole body, Cameron gives his sign to the band.

Within the first beats, Noel notices the [song,](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnhamPnvXuQ) remembering quite well, when he sang it last month for his idiot boyfriend. He shakes his head in amusement, when suddenly a never known deep voice makes its way out of Cam's chest.

 _“Wise men say_  
_Only fools rush in._  
_But I can't help falling in love with you._  
_Shall I stay?_  
_Would it be a sin?_  
_If I can't help falling in love with you._

_Like a river flows, surely to the sea  
Darling so it goes, some things are meant to be.“_

Noel's glassy eyes, full of happiness and joy, stay fixed on Cameron during his whole performance. Before he joins in his singing, he lays his arm around Emma's lower back and starts swaying left and right.

 _“Take my hand_  
_Take my whole life too_  
_For I can't help falling in love with you._

_Like a river flows, surely to the sea  
Darling so it goes, some things are meant to be“_

And before the last part starts, everyone sings along.

 _“Take my hand_  
_Take my whole life too_  
_For I can't help falling in love with you_  
_For I can't help falling in love with you“_

Cameron bows duly and Noel, as well as everyone else, applaud and cheer him enthusiastically. The redhead lays the microphone aside and steps up to Noel, who is waiting hard to kiss him again.

 

 

 

Hand in hand they walk up to their parents, who sat down on the benches, after a long dance session. Infront of them their glasses of wine and beer and left over dishes from the eating before. Cameron settles beside his mum, while Noel takes a seat opposite of him, between his mum and dad.

They had been nervous for weeks, about how their parents are going to behave during their wedding. Not that they expected another escapade from them. No. But even if now everyone seems to have accepted the love of Cameron and Noel, it must be weird for them to suddenly find themselves on the gay wedding of their own sons. The lovers are aware that it may re-open still sore wounds, about how their parents have pictured their wedding. At least Cam and Noel thought so.

“It was such a wonderful wedding. I'm still deeply touched.“ Diane tells them and cuddles herself to her son's side.

Noel can see a blissful Cameron kissing the top of her head, but he himself doesn't dare to look at his parents. For them it must have been much harder, thinking about the wedding with Layla he'd been close to celebrating.

He feels an arm stroking his back up and down, before his mum actually speaks up. “Yeah, me too! Your love for each other is so exquisite and pure. Everyone got the chance to witness today, how deeply the bond between the both of you is. Keep a hold of it, a love like yours is not oftenly found!“

Noel feels himself tearing up at his mother's words, while his father keeps agreeing with her. But what brings his tears really to brim over, is when Cameron reaches forward to interlace his long fingers with his mum's. He is only able to sigh a soft “Thank you“ before placing a kiss on her cheeks.

Suddenly the mood around them changes, and when Noel is looking up from the kiss, their family and friends are holding burning sparklers in the air. This moment, when all the people they love are walking up to them to form a circle, in a dark night with lightening sparklers on their beach, on this incredible day is simply overwhelming for Noel. Everything is perfect. The scenery, the atmosphere, the people. Judging from the sighs that are coming from a certain redhead, it also seems to enravish his husband.

They lose themselves deeply in the moment, before they finally see the reason for all this. With beautiful music in the background, the wedding cake is ceremoniously placed infront of Cameron and Noel. The half-naked three storied cake is beautifully decorated with blue flowers and white stitches. All of the three plies have three different flavors: black forest cake, walnut cream cake and banana chocolate cake.

Cam and Noel finally rise together with their parents, who also pull sparklers out of their pockets and inflame them to join the circle of their loved ones. Noel immediately grabs his partner's hand and squeezes it briefly before he takes the knife and puts it on top of the surpreme cake. Just as Cameron's hands glide over his to lead him, the alarm bells go off in Noel's head and he immediately releases them to put them back on Cameron's.

The younger man looks at him bewildered, when Noel smiles at him devilishly. "You know what's said about the first cut of the wedding cake, right? The one who keeps the upper hand, is the top dog in the relationship."

Cameron shakes his head laughing. "Jesus, only old people know that, Noel. Well, if it's so important to you then please, go ahead."

Noel once again puts the knife on top of the cake, holding his hands carefully over them from his husband, as he slowly sinks the blade into the fluffy mass. Before the cheers around them start again, Cam whispers hotly in his ear "Please Noel, you know damn well, who's the _top_ dog and who's the needy little _bottom_ , here."

So when the first slice of cake is placed on a plate, Noel's dick is already twitching in arousal.

 

 

 

“Needy little bottom, huh?“ Noel asks, his hands shaking as they grip the muscular body beneath the thin button up shirt. A fire starts spreading from his stomach to his gut, as rough hands claw at his ribs and abdomen. His breath is trembling, his chest heaving, his body impatient to be connected with his husband. He shoves his tongue forward, fighting for dominance with the other one inside the most delicious mouth he has ever tasted. “Say that again, when I pound your ass good and hard!“

“Fuck“ Cam sighs, his voice trembling, as he cradles Noel’s face with one hand, tilting his boyfriend’s face up so he can deepen their kiss and surge against him.

“You want it?“ Noel asks hotly in his husband's mouth. He then smirks at Cameron's mind blown expression as he rocks his hips forward, sliding their rapidly hardening dicks together.

“Yeah, make me your needy little bottom tonight!“ Cam answers him, and Noel notices him hesitate, before he adds “But _fuck_ , I also need to be inside of you. Need your ass to squeeze around me. Need to come inside you.“ Cameron sounds wrecked already, before Noel feels strong hands groping at his ass, lifting him off of the ground and shoving him into the wall behind him. Demanding hips are pressing into his own, as firm erections rub desperately against each other beneath the thin layers of cotton.

A moan rips out of Noel's throat at the imagination of a worked out Cameron, finding his release deep inside of him. “Shit, yeah. Need you to fill me up. Need everything from you.“ he gasps, already turned on as fuck. The longer the day got, the more his desire and lust for his husband increased. Now, at 4:48 am in the morning, it's almost unbearable, even though Cam's been on him since their last guests left and they entered their beachhouse kissing.

His already unbuttoned shirt is slid off of his shoulders as a ravenous mouth leaves marks at his sweating neck and shoulder. “Need everything from you too. Gonna take it all.“ Cam pants between kisses.

A shudder rolls through Noel's whole body at his lover's words. He nods fiercly, a silent agreement to something they've never done before.

Noel gasps for air, tracing his fingers down the damp back of his husband before he fists them in his fabric and swiftly lifts it from him. Strong thighs and arms are holding him up, while the shirt is completely disposed of Cam’s body. His greedy hands reach immediately for the muscular body infront of him, his legs squeeze together as tightly as he can around his partner’s hips. As if on instinct, Noel starts grinding his bulge forcefully into the groin of the perfect man, a primal groan escaping Cam's swollen lips.

“I love you,“ he breathes into the redhead's neck, still unsure about if he's soon awakening from the best dream of his life “so, so much.“

The answer comes promptly, Cam's lips covering his in a heated kiss. He slides his tongue in Noel's opened mouth, before the blonde man closes his lips to suck on the demanding tongue.

The tension is palpable, their hunger for each other almost too much. Noel feels Cameron shifting his weight, removing his back from the wall and carrying him to their bed in the bedroom. Their lips never leave each other, causing goosebumps to rise on his skin. His husband lays him down carefully, whispering a soft “I love you too. So, so fucking much!“ before kissing his way down to Noel's abdomen.

Nimble fingers slip in the waistband of his pants, before Cameron pulls them down, together with his boxers. It tingles his whole belly, as Cameron moves lower and lower, hot open-mouthed kisses placed in a line on his way down. Teeth graze over the hot skin of his hips, making him shiver, before Cameron starts sucking on the inside of his thighs, sending another wave of desire cascading through him.

He can’t breathe. Noel feels as if he is going to suffocate at any moment, as that slippery tongue gets closer to his throbbing arousal, licking flatly over his balls.

But before the welcoming moisture heat is able to engulf him, Cameron's weight lifts off his body and leaves him with a heaving chest alone in the bed.

Just when Noel wants to complain about it, his husband strips down until only his gorgeous naked body is standing beside the bed. Noel wonders what he has done to deserve this beautiful human being and props himself up on his elbows, to get a better look at him.

A mischevious grin tugs on Cameron's lips, as he steps closer to let his rock hard cock sink down close to Noel's mouth. Noel exhales deeply through lust parted lips, eager to take him in and get that delicious taste on his tongue. Cam strokes himself a few times, before he guides his leaking dick over Noel's lips, leaving a slickery trace of his precome behind. “You want it?“ he asks, as his lustblown pupils lock with Noel's.

Noel nods, licking with his tongue over his lips, to collect every drop Cameron leaves there “Yes, please!“

“Good,“ the younger man breathes satisfied, letting the head of his cock dip into Noel's mouth. Instantly Noel's tongue slides over Cameron's slit and twists around the tip, before everything is pulled away again “I want yours, too!“

With that he forces Noel to lay down again, placing his head on two pillows, only to kiss him into them passionately. Just as their tongues seem to melt together, Cameron pulls away and turns around, his head hovering over Noel's pulsating cock, while his own is just millimetres away from Noel's mouth.

A pleased groan slips out from Noel's mouth as a hot, wet suction engulfes the head of his erection. His eyes immediately flutter close and he grasps Cameron's hips to hold onto something. His heartbeat increases, his breathing caught, as the skilful tongue sucks every bead of precome from his rigid dick. The sound of Cameron's low moans pulse straight through him, making him lose himself in that moment. He curls his toes and grips Cam‘s hips tighter, the need to see stronger than ever before. He has to savour this moment.

His eyelids flicker open just to see a drop of Cameron's own leaking dick almost dripping down. Before it happens, his head shoots up and his mouth engulfes the object of his covetousness.

For a moment Cameron stops sucking him down, only to gasp for air, while Noel plays with his tongue around Cam's dick. As the redhead takes him back into his mouth, it takes every ounce of willpower not to explode down into his lover’s throat.

They lick and suck at each other's erections, bobbing their heads up and down as best as they can, while receiving the pleasure back. Suddenly he feels his husband tugging at his thighs, spreading them and bending his knees until his feet are planted on the mattress. Before he knows what's going on, Cam pushes away from his cock, to lick on his own fingers. Not much longer, his mouth is back on Noel's cock, and his index finger circling his puckered hole, before inching inside.

Noel moans filthily, his sound sending vibrations through his lover's cock, who buckles his hips in response, shoving his pulsing length down Noel's throat. Their bodies respond to everything the other one is doing, the heat increasing quickly.

Cam's long thin finger slides in and out roughly, while his mouth sucks eagerly. Noel is far away from thinking properly, but he knows damn well what he needs tonight. He pulls back from Cameron's dick to mirror his actions from before, and covers his fingers with spit.

When he takes the delicious arousal back into his mouth, he inserts the first digit inch by inch and receives the answer quickly. Cameron's hips shoot forward again, until the tip of his cock is touching the back of Noel's throat, simultaneously to slamming the second finger into Noel's ass. They play giving and taking, without thinking about it. It's like acting on instinct, giving the counterpart exactly how their own lust is leading them.

When Cam starts scissoring Noel, the blonde man follows his actions, and when Noel adds the third finger, so does Cameron. Noel's mind is blown away, he doesn't know what to concentrate on anymore. The mouth-watering taste on his tongue, his dick deep down Cameron's throat, or Cameron's fingers, that start jabbing against his prostate. It's too much, and he doesn't feel like holding his impending orgasm back for very long. He notices that since his own fingers started to brush against his partner's sweet spot, the redhead seems to feel the same. Both stop sucking each other, just to catch their heavy breaths.

“Cam,“ Noel pants, his heart gallopping from the heat of it all, “fuck me, Cam!“ Although it's meant as a demand, Noel's voice sounds begging. He slips his fingers out of the tight ring of muscles, waiting for Cameron to stop fingering him as well. Fortunately he doesn't need to ask twice, as Cameron can't turn around any faster to hover above him and kiss him passionately.

Noel lifts his head, meeting his husband half-way, and seals their lips together. The kiss is demanding, as if they are fighting for dominance. But Noel enjoys every second, savoring the exquisite and satisfying taste, only the redhead can give him. He lifts his hands to grasp at the younger man's sweating back as they kiss deeply and desperately.

While their tongues slide and their teeth bite onto each other's lips, Cameron settles on his knees between Noel's thighs. He searches blindly for the lube on the drawer and pours it over his length, all while his lips stay attached to Noel's. He already feels dizzy from everything Cameron did to him, but is impatiently craving for more. Noel is willing to take everything Cameron is able to give, there can never be too much of him. He can never get tired of stroking his fingers through his hair, caressing his back up and down, having his lips on his own, haunting his tongue inside his mouth, feeling his weight on him, his mouth around his cock, his fingers up in his ass or his dick inside of him. Even if Cameron gives him everything, Noel could easily ask for more.

He disconnects their lips, digging his skull into the pillows as he heatedly stares up into the redhead's blown-out pupils. He smirks, unable to stop himself from licking his bottom lip and biting it as the thick tip of Cam's dick probes at his entrance. Spreading his legs further apart, he slides his hands down his lover’s back, grasping that firm ass tightly. “I love you,“ he breathes, “ _Fuck_ I love you!“

His whole body trembles, as the head of his lover’s length starts stretching him, the pain slight, but in a way Noel is longing for it. He interlaces his fingers behind Cam’s neck, pulling him down to kiss him forcefully, encouraging him to penetrate him deeper. Cameron shimmies his hips, giving himself better access, as they continue their make out until Noel is fully filled.

Once Cameron bottoms out, he pulls away from the kiss and buries his head in the crook of Noel's neck. Taking a deep breath, he gently pulls out a bit before sliding back in. “I love you too. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me!“ Cam's voice is muffled by shallow pants, while soon enough he speeds up his pace, thrusting rhythmically in the tight heat.

Noel's thighs quiver and his ass clenches and unclenches around the thick throbbing dick. He moans euphorically, meeting him halfway with each thrust.

As Cameron abruptly shifts his weight and repositions himself between Noel’s thighs, the older man yells in pleasure, the thick cock brushing against his prostate fort he first time. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!“

It feels incredible, being filled up by his man. To have the guarantee, that this is what he'll get throughout his entire life and is beyond anything he could have ever imagined. He blinks up at the gorgeous man above him through lust clouded eyes, admiring every dip and curve of his well defined body.

“You're so good for me baby, so good!“ Cameron hisses through gritted teeth, placing a soft kiss on Noel’s lips, before his huge cock starts to nail Noel's prostate dead on. Noel arches his back, torn to pieces by the bitterseet pressure his husband is producing on his sweet spot. He groans loudly, his eyes clenching shut as the pleasure overwhelms him.

“Oh shit, Cam!” he bursts out, the high intoxicating him. “Right there, right there!”

He hears his partner growl as the thrusting speeds up and becomes more forceful. “Oh Jesus, oh look at you. So hot, _holy fuck_!“ Cameron sighs and Noel can hear that he is going to explode in no time. Good, he needs everything of him now.

A wave of euphoria is coursing through his whole body, bringing every cell in him to life. He wants to finish, his cock already begging for release. Cam is relentless, fucking him like their life is depending on this act, drawing Noel closer to the edge with every hard thrust.

The prickling from his gut starts to expand to his stomach, his balls beginning to tighten, heat taking over his skin. “I'm gonna come!” He whines, as Cam pounds him closer to orgasm, lowering one hand from Cam's back to his dick, to get the needed friction for his release.

“No.“ Cam demands, patting his hand away. “I'm going to fill you up and then I need you to do the same!“ Cameron's words are pure torture, the tone in his voice doesn't help him emasculate his climax. “You hear me?“

His body arches in painful pleasure, as he nods his agreement. “ _Fuuuck!_ Do it then!“ he claims, preparing himself for the hot liquid that's going to coat his inner walls at any time. He really hopes that he can hold himself from coming.

“Oh shit!“ Cam groans, as his thrusts become more haphazard and his hips begin to stutter. Noel moans loudly with him, when the redhead finds his release deep inside his husband.

Noel forces every cell of his body to become numb, to not lose himself right then and there with Cam, although he wants nothing less than to give into the impending pleasure. As the waves of euphoria begin to slowly crash over him, he knows he doesn't have enough time for Cam to ride out his orgasm. Noel shoots upwards, pushing Cam on his back and out of him.

Cameron is still high on endorphines, not noticing how badly his partner is craving for his own release. So Noel quickly turns Cameron around and onto his stomach, pulling his hips up into his groin, his cock slamming into the tight heat immediately.

“Jesus Christ!“ Noel moans loudly as his jaw drops, his eyes squeezed shut at this incredible feeling. His breath stutters as he rams harder and faster into his boyfriend.

Cameron alternates between moaning and yelling out unabashedly, riding out his last strains of his orgasm, simultaneously to the pain and discomfort of the overstimulation, until they simply aren’t there anymore. He claws at the sheets as Noel’s hands slip to his hips in a punishing grip.

“Shit Cam,” Noel’s eyes roll back as he slams into his boyfriend, letting Cameron's cries of pleasure wash over him. He can feel his balls tightening, when drops of Cameron dip out of his hole, making their way over his thighs.

“Fuck baby, I’m so close.” Noel whines, the edge approaching quickly. Underneath him, Cameron is wiggling from pleasure, moaning Noel's name, and begging him to give it to him. He begs him for his cum, needs it deep inside him. The fact that Noel made him his needy little bitch and the way his hole convulses around him, makes him topple over the edge, screaming his husband's name mixed with 'I love you's'.

He shoots his load deep, while Cameron's sperm slowly drips out of him. Both of their brows are furrowed in pleasure, both panting for air, as they ride out their high.

It seems to last forever, caught in the best feeling that exists for him, glowing in the aftershocks of their orgasms. But the world slowly comes back into focus, as they find an acurate rate of breathing again. Noel is now lying on top of him, his arms wrapped around the hips of his exhausted husband and he wishes that this moment would last forever. He knows he will have to pull out of him soon, forced to put some distance between them again, when all he wants to do is keep losing himself in Cam, absorbing as much of his man as possible.

He starts kissing a line between Cameron's shoulder blades. His dick is still moving slightly, savouring every feeling from Cameron around him, as he notices his husband's breathing getting slower and deeper. Noel looks down to Cam's face, that is turned to the right side, only to find him passed out. He smirks, closing his eyes to focus one last time on their connection in his lap, before he slowly and carefully pulls out. He grabs some tissues from the drawer and wipes Cameron and himself clean.

When he lays his lover down into a more comfortable position and drapes the covers over them, the redhead stirrs awake.

“Hey,“ Noel mumbles, looking into tired emerald green eyes and striking a strand of red hair out of his beautiful face “go back to sleep. I'll take care of you.“

A happy smile tugs at the corner of Cam's lips when he scoots closer, an arm draping across Noel's chest and his head burying in the crook of his neck, before he starts snoring again.

Noel kisses the top of his partner's head, stroking his scalf slowly. “I'll always take care of you. For the rest of our lifes.“ He whispers, before he also drifts to sleep, with all the pictures of the best day of his life in mind and far more to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I could make you happy and give you everything you hoped for from this fanfiction.
> 
> I'm thankful for all the comments and/or kudos you leave behind!
> 
> And don't forget to check every once in a while, if there's a new chapter online - I'd be happy to have you as a reader, again!
> 
> XOXO
> 
>  
> 
> EDIT: PART 3 'Lovers beyond screen' IS ONLINE NOW!


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